Modern Proverbs IV

Disclaimers: I do not own Dragonball Z.
Well, I have decided to do another Modern Proverbs! Happy Day! I got some new jokes, and hopefully, this chapter will be all right.

Goku and The Tree of Doom
One day Goku was pulled over by a police officer while he was driving on a lonely back road.
"Oh geeze! Chi Chi is going to kill me for getting another ticket! But I am glad this officer is here!" Goku mumbled to himself as he rolled down the window. Goku watched as the police officer approached him and leaned on his car.
"Sir, is there a reason that you're weaving all over the road?" The officer said as he took out his ticket book.
Goku replied, "Oh officer, thank goodness you're here!! I almost had an accident! I looked up and there was a tree right in front of me. I swerved to the left and there was another tree in front of me. I swerved to the right and there was another tree in front of me!" Reaching through the side window to the rear view mirror the officer replied,
"Sir, That's your air freshener."
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Goten's Honesty
Goten was driving though the mall parking lot when he rammed into the side of a car. Goten quickly got out and inspected the damage. "Oh, boy! Looks like I made a mess. There goes my insurance rate through the roof!" Goten looked around and saw a crowd of people coming towards him who saw the accident.
Goten went back into his car and began to write a note for the owner of the damaged car...
Later~~~~~~
"HA! I am Mister Satan! I am the best!"
The crowed roared as Mr. Satan walked out of the shopping mall to his car.
"I am the...what happened to my car?" Satan roared as he ran up to inspect it. "The side is rammed in!" Satan exclaimed in dismay. Seeing a note under the windshield, he read it. On the paper is written:
"As I'm writing this, about a dozen people are watching me. They think I'm giving you my name, phone number, and insurance company. But I'm not. "
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Cell: The Perfect Husband
"Wow! So you were...uh...married Cell?"
Cell looked up from the HFIL yearly game of croquet to look at his competition, Freezer.
"I was married 3 times," Cell looked down and hit the ball through the hoop on the ground "and I'll never marry again. My first 2 wives died of eating poison mushrooms and my 3rd wife died of a fractured skull."
"That's a shame," said Freezer, "How did it happen?"
Cell smirked, "She wouldn't eat the mushrooms."
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More College Jokes: Part V
TRUNKS: Hello! I am Trunks Briefs and this is my best friend Goten!
GOTEN: Hi!
TRUNKS: Many of you who are reading this either go to college and are a freshman, or you will attend college sometime in the far or near future.
GOTEN: So, Trunks and I have decided to help you people prepare for college by telling you what NOT to say to your parents while you are at college.
TRUNKS: Yes. These are the mistakes that most college students make. Well Goten you can start.
GOTEN: All right. I am going to call up my father real quick, hold on....
GOKU (picks up receiver): Hello?
GOTEN: Hi Dad! It's me!
GOKU: Goten! How is college, son?
GOTEN: Dad...I just can't take it anymore! The pressure! THE PRESSURE! NOOOOOOO! *click*
GOTEN: Heh...never call you parents up and say THAT to them...ow!
TRUNKS: Goten, you dork! You were not supposed to call your father! You...*sigh*...never mind. My turn. Never say to your parents, "Are you saying that I am not good enough to work at Wal-Mart?"
GOTEN: Or say, "Who are you?"
TRUNKS: "Dad, you too can be saved."
GOTEN: "I need more money for my gambling ring."
TRUNKS: "Hold on a sec...I have to get rid of my body."
GOTEN(dialing on the phone again): Hold on a sec will you?
TRUNKS: What are you doing?
GOTEN: I am calling...Gohan! Hey bro! Got a question for you! Have you ever tried Vivarian? I mean I just tried a lot at once, and I feel great! It's amazing! I mean, I wrote three thesis, memorized the Spanish to English dictionary, made Pan a sweater, invented a new way to dry laundry, and....I...who is this?
TRUNKS: *sigh*...Well, that is all for now! Remember, keep your nose clean and reach for the stars as you take you finals. Good Luck and Good Night!
Vegeta the Cheapskate

One day a Vegeta walked into a dentist's office and asks how much it will cost to extract wisdom teeth.
"Eighty dollars," the receptionist said.
"That's a ridiculous amount, and I will not pay it!" Vegeta growled. "Isn't there a cheaper way?"
"Well," the receptionist said, "if you don't use an anesthetic, I can knock it down to $60."
Vegeta scowled harder. "That's still too expensive. I want a better offer."
"Okay," says the receptionist. "If I save on anesthesia and simply rip the teeth out with a pair of pliers, I could get away with charging $20."
"No." Vegeta's voice had a hard edge to it now. "It's still too much."
"Uhh," says the receptionist, scratching his head. "Perhaps if the dentist would let one of his students do it for the experience, I suppose I could charge you just $10."
"Marvelous!" Vegeta smirked as he walked out the door, "book the woman for next Tuesday!"
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Modern Proverbs part 4 or something:)...not many..but, oh well!


Bulma: If you think we're a bad company, you should see our competition.

Vegeta: Rome didn't create a great empire by having meetings. They did it by
killing all those that opposed them.

Vegeta: Humph. The woman is proud of me. I went two days without a human rights violation.

Bulma: We build great products when we feel like it and don't have any
reason to call in sick.

Vegeta's Halloween Advice.

"Brat! Before you go out, remember a couple of things about Trick or Treating." Vegeta grabbed Trunks and threw him down on the sofa. "Number 1. Never get candy from any house that seems to be imploding into a space-time wormhole."

"Why not?" Trunks asked.

"Because I said so. Besides, my older brother went in one, and I haven't seen him since. Number 2. Do not enter any house, which its only entrance is the basement. Number 3. Don't enter any house that growls, "Get Out!" Number 4. Do not get candy from houses that are made of food. And to run down the list, do not enter houses which look like a giant pulsating orb floating 3 feet off the ground, and house with various and extremely realistic statues in the front yard of people in odd, "running await" poses, and never get candy from houses where the furniture seems to be walking across the living room floor. Understand, boy?"

Trunks nodded as he jumped off the sofa and ran towards the door. "Hey Dad! Don't worry! I am going to follow all your advice!"

Vegeta watched as Trunks opened the front door. "Good. I think I told you everything..." Vegeta walked up behind Trunks.

"I am going to that house across the street first! Okay?" Trunks asked his father.

Vegeta looked up and saw a nice little house where Trunks was pointing. "Fine...just don't..uhhh"

Trunks looked at his father who was making an odd face. "Dad what is wrong?"

Vegeta looked away from the house and back down at Trunks. "That house wasn't there before! What in the...Oh! The last rule." Vegeta glared hard at Trunks. "Never get candy from a house that was not there a minute ago."
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OK! It may not have been as good as the first three, but I wanted to do something. I have not written in a good couple of weeks cause of exams and stuff. Thank you for reading!