AUTHOR: Goddess Isa
EMAIL: goddessisa@aol.com
SUMMARY: Buffy & Angel stuff
SPOILER: Pangs, IWRY
DISTRIBUTION: Sure, just email me & lmk where it's going - I like seeing my name in print =)
FEEDBACK: Please, I'd hate to have to Slay for it. =P
RATING: TV-PG
DISCLAIMER: Joss owns Buffy and Angel. I think he should share them with me. 'It Was' is by Chely Wright and though I've never heard it, the lyrics are just perfect.
DEDICATION: To Sarah, for finding me the lyrics and inspiring the fic in the first place.
//I guess we guess our way through life
How many times do we really know for sure?
I was just hoping for the best
Then I woke up in these lovin' arms of yours
What I felt was unmistakable\\
I never dreamed Angel and I would get another chance. I mean, here we were, these two lost souls, muddling through life, and all of a sudden he has to rescue me. It was all like it was meant to be, you know? The way he saves my life and then the next thing I know, he's practically human. Making love with him last night was the most right feeling in the world. I can't believe I was allowed to feel that way again. I'm scared to death that this was the last time.
//When I fell for you
It was real, it was magic
It was calm, it was savage
It was cool as a breeze
It was warm to the touch
It was never enough
It was always too much
It did all the things love does
That's how I knew
It was\\
From the day I saw her, I loved her. She's never said if she felt the same way, but I'm sure that she did. She looks at me the way I always wanted a woman to look at me. Her eyes tell me she wants me, and I can only hope mine convey the same expression to her.
Our relationship has never been fair to either one of us. It's unfair to Buffy because she deserves all these things I never can give her, and it's unfair to me because when I look at her, I don't care what the cost, I want to be with her, hold her in my arms, kiss her, touch her. I want to make love to her day and night. I want her all to myself.
This gift of humanity has been amazing. It's given me a chance to show Buffy how I feel about her. Unfortunately, it's also going to cause me to hurt her again. I know we won't be able to keep this up. Even humanity is forever, she has a life in Sunnydale, and I have my life here. It's so cruel of fate to give us this time together now, when we were finally starting to try and go on without each other.
//Who thought that I could laugh so loud
Then turn around and cry so many tears
I used to have so many doubts
But one by one you made them disappear
What I found was unbelievable
But I believe it's true\\
Angel's pretending to be asleep now, I think. I know he's afraid of the same things I am. That when we wake up, the night will be over and we'll be forced to go back to our old selves, the people who pretend not to be in love.
I've been living two lives since Graduation Day, I think. One is the girl who Slays and puts on the brave face for her mother and Watcher and even her best friend. One is the real me, the one that cries while Willow sleeps, the one that wants to be by herself just to avoid realizing there are people missing from our group.
If Angel and I have to go back to what we were before this whole humanity thing, we'll do it. We'll go on and we'll fight and we'll both die trying.
//You ask what I felt
When you walked through the door
Was it fear, was it clear
It was all that and more\\
"Angel," Buffy said in a state that was half awake, half dreaming. "Describe last night to me."
"It was...."
"Perfect?" she guessed.
"Pure ecstasy."
"Heaven on Earth."
The two lovers drifted back into a peaceful sleep and when they finally woke up together, they spent the day in bed. Who knew what tomorrow would bring, and neither of them wanted to find out.