Author: Elizabeth Wilde
Title: "Perfect"
Series: Falling #2
Distribution: Anyone who has my fic, anyone who asks nicely for it, http://www.geocities.com/aloysiusj/xfic.html
Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men, unfortunately. I'd really love to own Scott. But for now I'm just borrowing them, so don't sue! I also don't own the song "Perfect" by Alanis Morissette.
'Ship: none (hints of Jean/Scott)
Classification: angst/romance
Summary: Jean and Scott talk about stuff.
Rating: PG
Spoilers: the movie
Feedback: to wilde_moon@yahoo.com please
Sometimes is never quite enough
If you're flawless, then you'll win my love.
Don't forget to win first place.
Don't forget to keep that smile on your face.
Be a good boy
Push a little farther now.
That wasn't fast enough
To make us happy.
We'll love you just the way you are if you're perfect.
"Yeah, the darkness got to me." Scott stared down at his hands from behind his new ruby quartz glasses. "It felt like I was stuck in some kind of prison, and the thing keeping me there was me."
"And your parents?" Jean urged gently. "Didn't they help?"
Scott swallowed and shook his head. "Not really. Their golden boy was a freak. They just wanted to sweep it all under the rug, and I was too big a problem to fit under there. How could I be valedictorian or win a track meet when I'd fry the first person I looked at, ya know? Everything they wanted for me wouldn't work anymore. I couldn't do anything but stay in my room and make damn sure I kept my eyes closed."
"I'm sorry, Scott. Nobody should have to go through that." Jean flashed back to her own parents, proud to a degree of the "parlor tricks" their young daughter could perform, gleefully displaying her abilities at cocktail parties for their friends. Charles Xavier's arrival had saved her from a life of being a tourist attraction for her own parents. "They didn't understand."
Scott forced a smile and glanced up at Jean. "I don't know why I'm dumping all of this on you. All you did was ask how I was doing."
She smiled and replied, "Hey, what are friends for? Besides, I really wanted to know, and this is part of how you're doing. I want to know."
"Thanks. Friends, huh? Didn't think I'd get to have those anymore."
"Things are different here."
Scott nodded and looked off across the grounds. "Yeah, they are, aren't they?" He ran a hand through his thick brown hair and sighed. "I guess I'm still not used to being... not normal, but... accepted again. Nobody flees in terror when I enter a room."
Jean laughed. "No, nobody will flee in terror from you. You aren't that scary-looking," she added, bumping his shoulder with hers.
This time she received a genuine smile from the young man. "Thanks. Good to know.
"It's weird here, though. I mean, here I'm just a guy, just like everybody else. Well, close enough. I can't push myself for the same things anymore," Scott said, voice revealing frustration he'd been pushing back. "How can I be the best when I don't know what that is?"
When he first glanced over at Jean, her silence and far-away expression made Scott think he'd finally bored her beyond listening. Then he caught the slight furrow in her brow, her pursed lips. "I think that here being the best is being you to the fullest extent you can be, not holding anything back." She looked back to him. "The only person you're competing against here is yourself."
Scott stared at her for a few moments in total silence and Jean continued, "All your life, you've been trying to be what your parents and your friends and your classmates wanted you to be. Here all you need is you, and it's hard. It's hard to not have to hide anything, to see that what you are is good enough."
"Wow."
Jean smiled again. "Yeah, wow. It's true, though." Her hand clasped his. "Professor Xavier told me before you even came he had a feeling you were going to be someone special, and you are. It's just that you don't see it yet. You need to have faith in you."
He frowned, gaze drifting down to their entwined hands. "Do you?"
"Have faith in you?" Jean asked gently. "Yes. I have faith in me too. And I know that if I can't do something that needs to be done, someone will help me or teach me. That's why I'm here. Why are you here?"
Scott's first impulse was to say he was at the school because his parents thought it was best, because it got it out of the way at home. "I guess I'm here because I don't have anywhere else to go." He thought for a moment. "And I want to be here."
"Do you? Why?" Jean prompted.
"Because... I have a chance here. I can still do something here. People will talk to me here. I still feel like a person here."
"Good, then. I just wanted to make sure you're here for you and not for them."
Scott smiled back at her. "Doesn't hurt having you around."
"That so?"
"Yep. I'm gonna stay here so long you'll get sick of seeing me," he added, tone ringing with challenge.
"I doubt it," Jean replied, laughing softly. She rose, explaining, "I have class. But I'll see you around."
"Yeah. You will."
Title: "Perfect"
Series: Falling #2
Distribution: Anyone who has my fic, anyone who asks nicely for it, http://www.geocities.com/aloysiusj/xfic.html
Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men, unfortunately. I'd really love to own Scott. But for now I'm just borrowing them, so don't sue! I also don't own the song "Perfect" by Alanis Morissette.
'Ship: none (hints of Jean/Scott)
Classification: angst/romance
Summary: Jean and Scott talk about stuff.
Rating: PG
Spoilers: the movie
Feedback: to wilde_moon@yahoo.com please
Sometimes is never quite enough
If you're flawless, then you'll win my love.
Don't forget to win first place.
Don't forget to keep that smile on your face.
Be a good boy
Push a little farther now.
That wasn't fast enough
To make us happy.
We'll love you just the way you are if you're perfect.
"Yeah, the darkness got to me." Scott stared down at his hands from behind his new ruby quartz glasses. "It felt like I was stuck in some kind of prison, and the thing keeping me there was me."
"And your parents?" Jean urged gently. "Didn't they help?"
Scott swallowed and shook his head. "Not really. Their golden boy was a freak. They just wanted to sweep it all under the rug, and I was too big a problem to fit under there. How could I be valedictorian or win a track meet when I'd fry the first person I looked at, ya know? Everything they wanted for me wouldn't work anymore. I couldn't do anything but stay in my room and make damn sure I kept my eyes closed."
"I'm sorry, Scott. Nobody should have to go through that." Jean flashed back to her own parents, proud to a degree of the "parlor tricks" their young daughter could perform, gleefully displaying her abilities at cocktail parties for their friends. Charles Xavier's arrival had saved her from a life of being a tourist attraction for her own parents. "They didn't understand."
Scott forced a smile and glanced up at Jean. "I don't know why I'm dumping all of this on you. All you did was ask how I was doing."
She smiled and replied, "Hey, what are friends for? Besides, I really wanted to know, and this is part of how you're doing. I want to know."
"Thanks. Friends, huh? Didn't think I'd get to have those anymore."
"Things are different here."
Scott nodded and looked off across the grounds. "Yeah, they are, aren't they?" He ran a hand through his thick brown hair and sighed. "I guess I'm still not used to being... not normal, but... accepted again. Nobody flees in terror when I enter a room."
Jean laughed. "No, nobody will flee in terror from you. You aren't that scary-looking," she added, bumping his shoulder with hers.
This time she received a genuine smile from the young man. "Thanks. Good to know.
"It's weird here, though. I mean, here I'm just a guy, just like everybody else. Well, close enough. I can't push myself for the same things anymore," Scott said, voice revealing frustration he'd been pushing back. "How can I be the best when I don't know what that is?"
When he first glanced over at Jean, her silence and far-away expression made Scott think he'd finally bored her beyond listening. Then he caught the slight furrow in her brow, her pursed lips. "I think that here being the best is being you to the fullest extent you can be, not holding anything back." She looked back to him. "The only person you're competing against here is yourself."
Scott stared at her for a few moments in total silence and Jean continued, "All your life, you've been trying to be what your parents and your friends and your classmates wanted you to be. Here all you need is you, and it's hard. It's hard to not have to hide anything, to see that what you are is good enough."
"Wow."
Jean smiled again. "Yeah, wow. It's true, though." Her hand clasped his. "Professor Xavier told me before you even came he had a feeling you were going to be someone special, and you are. It's just that you don't see it yet. You need to have faith in you."
He frowned, gaze drifting down to their entwined hands. "Do you?"
"Have faith in you?" Jean asked gently. "Yes. I have faith in me too. And I know that if I can't do something that needs to be done, someone will help me or teach me. That's why I'm here. Why are you here?"
Scott's first impulse was to say he was at the school because his parents thought it was best, because it got it out of the way at home. "I guess I'm here because I don't have anywhere else to go." He thought for a moment. "And I want to be here."
"Do you? Why?" Jean prompted.
"Because... I have a chance here. I can still do something here. People will talk to me here. I still feel like a person here."
"Good, then. I just wanted to make sure you're here for you and not for them."
Scott smiled back at her. "Doesn't hurt having you around."
"That so?"
"Yep. I'm gonna stay here so long you'll get sick of seeing me," he added, tone ringing with challenge.
"I doubt it," Jean replied, laughing softly. She rose, explaining, "I have class. But I'll see you around."
"Yeah. You will."