Vodka and the Truth
Author: Danielle D
E-Mail: Spookybev@aol.com
Spoilers: Post-Ep for The Fall's Going to Kill You
CJ's POV after a long night
Rating: PG-13 (language and implied CJ/Abbey relationship)
I don't own the CJ or Abbey, My Lord Sorkin does. If this flows funny know that it was written under the effects of more than a few drinks during finals week.
Vodka and the Truth
I don't know what to think? He lied, but I knew. So what does that make me?? I mean I know by law I'm an accomplice now, or have I always been one. I don't know. I want to get drunk tonight and wake up and have this all go away. But I know that won't happen. I just. . .I just don't know. Abbey said she wanted to be there when he told me, but he didn't tell me, Leo did. Could the president not tell me himself?? Was he afraid of how I'd react, would I be like Toby and freak out?? I don't know, he didn't tell me so I don't know, I'll never know. Concern, that's what I feel, concern and betrayal. At least Abbey talked to me after, that means something, at least to me. I've always felt that Abbey and I have a special bond, we are strong independent women with power. Maybe I should call her, we could drowned our fears in Vodka. Hell, I'm half way there now, my mind filled with a pleasant fog, but I still am aware of that tomorrow holds. We are announcing tomorrow. Tomorrow the world as we know it will change. The public may call for the president's head or they may take pity on him and feel compassion. Maybe they will not feel as bad as I do right now, lied to. Lied to by a man who treats me like a daughter, but a man who in the past few years has been a better father than my own in all my years alive. I wish I had someone to talk to right now, someone to tell me that they know what I am feeling, but I can't talk to anyone, no one knows outside the West Wing. . .we have to keep it that way for a few more hours at least. I'm calling Abbey, she told me to call her if I wanted to talk. So I call. Abbey answers the phone in the residence, I know she can tell by my voice that I had been drinking, maybe that's why she says that she'll come.
Twenty minutes later Abbey arrives and I've made a sizable dent in by 5th of Vodka; I'm going to feel like shit in the morning. I open the door, I think Abbey is surprised, she hasn't seen me drunk since the inaugural ball, but she was trashed then too. We sit on my couch, the Vodka between us and take shot after shot in silence. Abbey finally breaks the silence, "I'm sorry CJ, of all people, we should have told you. Jed wanted to, but knew he couldn't. He trusts you, you know that right? But he didn't want to be weak in front of you, he couldn't do that." I simply nod my head, that's what I needed to hear and Abbey knows it. We sit in silence again. The alcohol having affected Abbey as much as me. I miss her. During the campaign we saw each other everyday. We were like sisters, but more. I am the only person outside of the president and Leo who calls her Abbey, I'm the only person to whom she calls when she needs a friend or a favor, I'm the only person in the Wing who loves her. Abbey rests her head on my shoulder and I can feel sleep pulling at me. Tonight is tonight and tomorrow is yet unknown, but I know that I'm not alone. I serve at the pleasure of the president, and I will continue to do so.
Author: Danielle D
E-Mail: Spookybev@aol.com
Spoilers: Post-Ep for The Fall's Going to Kill You
CJ's POV after a long night
Rating: PG-13 (language and implied CJ/Abbey relationship)
I don't own the CJ or Abbey, My Lord Sorkin does. If this flows funny know that it was written under the effects of more than a few drinks during finals week.
Vodka and the Truth
I don't know what to think? He lied, but I knew. So what does that make me?? I mean I know by law I'm an accomplice now, or have I always been one. I don't know. I want to get drunk tonight and wake up and have this all go away. But I know that won't happen. I just. . .I just don't know. Abbey said she wanted to be there when he told me, but he didn't tell me, Leo did. Could the president not tell me himself?? Was he afraid of how I'd react, would I be like Toby and freak out?? I don't know, he didn't tell me so I don't know, I'll never know. Concern, that's what I feel, concern and betrayal. At least Abbey talked to me after, that means something, at least to me. I've always felt that Abbey and I have a special bond, we are strong independent women with power. Maybe I should call her, we could drowned our fears in Vodka. Hell, I'm half way there now, my mind filled with a pleasant fog, but I still am aware of that tomorrow holds. We are announcing tomorrow. Tomorrow the world as we know it will change. The public may call for the president's head or they may take pity on him and feel compassion. Maybe they will not feel as bad as I do right now, lied to. Lied to by a man who treats me like a daughter, but a man who in the past few years has been a better father than my own in all my years alive. I wish I had someone to talk to right now, someone to tell me that they know what I am feeling, but I can't talk to anyone, no one knows outside the West Wing. . .we have to keep it that way for a few more hours at least. I'm calling Abbey, she told me to call her if I wanted to talk. So I call. Abbey answers the phone in the residence, I know she can tell by my voice that I had been drinking, maybe that's why she says that she'll come.
Twenty minutes later Abbey arrives and I've made a sizable dent in by 5th of Vodka; I'm going to feel like shit in the morning. I open the door, I think Abbey is surprised, she hasn't seen me drunk since the inaugural ball, but she was trashed then too. We sit on my couch, the Vodka between us and take shot after shot in silence. Abbey finally breaks the silence, "I'm sorry CJ, of all people, we should have told you. Jed wanted to, but knew he couldn't. He trusts you, you know that right? But he didn't want to be weak in front of you, he couldn't do that." I simply nod my head, that's what I needed to hear and Abbey knows it. We sit in silence again. The alcohol having affected Abbey as much as me. I miss her. During the campaign we saw each other everyday. We were like sisters, but more. I am the only person outside of the president and Leo who calls her Abbey, I'm the only person to whom she calls when she needs a friend or a favor, I'm the only person in the Wing who loves her. Abbey rests her head on my shoulder and I can feel sleep pulling at me. Tonight is tonight and tomorrow is yet unknown, but I know that I'm not alone. I serve at the pleasure of the president, and I will continue to do so.