AUTHOR: Goddess Isa
EMAIL: goddessisa@aol.com
SUMMARY: Angel realizes his daughter truly is all grown up. This is the last part in the Fatherhood Trilogy. The first two parts are 'Baby Steps' and 'Butterfly Kisses'. In case you didn't read them, you can find them at my webpage, http://planetslaythis.homestead.com, and also here at fanfiction.net
SPOILER: None
DISTRIBUTION: Sure, just email me & lmk where it's going - I like seeing my name in print =)
FEEDBACK: Please, I'd have to have to Slay for it. =P
RATING: TV-PG
DISCLAIMER: Buffy and Angel belong to Joss, but I'm pretty sure everyone else in this fic belongs to me!
My baby girl is all grown up.
She's been that way for years, but I guess I've been blind to it all. Senior prom, graduation, college, marriage, all representing what I think Buffy has seen for years. I think I ignored it on purpose. No one wants to think of their daughter that way. An adult, someone who doesn't need you to be there twenty-four-seven anymore. I know some parents consider that a blessing, but not me.
I wanted them to stay little forever. Aaron, Mia and Joanna.
She wasn't our first-born, that was Aaron. And she's not our baby, that's Mia.
She's my first daughter though, and from day one, she was Daddy's Little Girl.
Joanna always wanted to please me. And when her brother and sister were happiest running around outside with Willow and Xander's son or Spike and Amy's daughter, or Cordelia and Doyle's kittens, Joanna was content to stay beside me.
We spent hours playing in her bedroom when she was little. Buffy was busy nursing and taking care of Mia, so it was natural that I wound up on Barbie Duty with Joanna most nights. The dream house you could buy didn't have an elevator, and Joanna wanted one, so I built it for her. I built Mia one too, when she was old enough, but she never really played with it. When Joanna became too old to play with her dolls, she still kept the house in her room.
When she and Matt got married, and she moved out of our house, she took everything I ever made her along, but all of a sudden, she wasn't ours anymore. She was Matt's.
It was hard to accept that she wasn't at home every day, waiting for me when I finished my work in the office and came upstairs.
"You have to let go," Buffy once told me. And I guess she was right. I just wasn't ready.
I'm still not.
Don't have a whole lot of choice now though. I'm scared to death. My little girl is all alone in there and I have no idea how she's doing.
"Relax," Buffy touched my arm. "I had a C-section with Mia, remember? She's going to be fine."
"You weren't having twins!" I shouted. People stared and Buffy tightened her grip on me.
"I wasn't giving birth to a feature Slayer, either."
"No, you *were* the Slayer."
"I'm just as scared as you are," Matt said to me. "Maybe more."
Bullshit. Pure bullshit.
"I'm sure the doctor will come get us any minute."
Thirty-seven minutes passed before we heard anything. And even then, all we were told was that she was in recovery and that Matt could go see her.
Another hour passed and Buffy kept digging her nails into my arm to keep me from raising hell at the nurses' station.
"Do you remember how Giles and and my mom were when we had our kids? It's normal to be impatient but there's nothing we can do but wait."
I was annoyed but I knew she was right.
"Excuse me?" a nurse came into the waiting room and everyone in there looked at her. "Are Joanna Keeslar's parents here?"
"Us," I stood up.
"Come with me please,"
We followed her, and I counted the squeaks of her shoes to door of Joanna's room. Eighty-three. Buffy knocked and Joanna called out, "Come in."
We entered and there she was.
Her hair pulled back into a ponytail, her cheeks flushed, there laid my little girl. Matt was standing behind her, helping her hold two tiny bundles.
"Mom, Dad, meet Matthew Elijah and Angel Elizabeth." Joanna said proudly.
"Joanna, they're adorable," Buffy told her softly. She walked to the side of the bed and kissed her cheek. "I am so proud of you."
"Daddy?" Joanna asked. "Don't you wanna hold her? After all, she is your namesake."
Carefully, I took my first granddaughter into my arms. "I can't believe you named her after me."
"We figured one guy named Angel in the family was enough." Matt said and we all laughed.
"I just thought Angel and Elijah made for good twin names without being too corny." Joanna explained.
"It's perfect." Buffy said. "Can I hold him?"
*****
The next day, I went to see Joanna and the babies again and found her alone in her room. The babies were being given a checkup and Matt was home getting some rest.
"I did it Dad," she said proudly. "I'm a mother. I hope I can be half as good a parent as you and Mom were."
"You'll be wonderful."
"How can you be sure?" her eyes looked at me with so much concern, so much worry. I know she has a lot of faith in anything I tell her, but you could also tell she was riding an emotional roller coaster on this one.
"You look at those twins the same way your mother and I used to look at you guys when you were little."
She nodded. "Like you'd do anything for them."
"Wouldn't you?"
"Definitely." she waited a few moments. "Dad?"
"Hmm?"
"This is hard for you, huh?"
"Am I that obvious?"
She laughed. "It's just that I know you're having a hard time with me being an adult."
"I am," I admitted.
"I'm twenty-six years old Dad."
"You're always going to be my little girl. That's just all there is to it."
"I know Daddy, but don't you think maybe it's time to let go?" she laughed again. "Maybe Mia would like a turn being the one you spoil."
"I spoiled all three of you."
"I know."
"I guess I should go. Matt'll probably be back soon."
"Yeah, I guess." she waited until I was almost out the door. "Daddy?"
"Yeah, baby?"
"I'm still your daughter. That's never going to change."
I just looked at her for a moment before I left. To a degree, she was right, and I almost hated admitting that to myself. That was like the final say on her being all grown up and I just wasn't ready to do that yet.