DISCLAIMER: Hi, welcome to another broadcast day of Ranger TV(RTV). They're not mine, Saban's got his hot little hands on them. The idea for this show is from Three's Company. That's not mine either. Here goes #2...
Kimberly Hart was trying to vacuum the living room of the apartment that she shared. The noise woke up one of her roomates, Trini Kwan. She pulled out the plug, and caused Kim to think the vacuum had broke down.
Trini staggered over to the couch and sat down. "Please! Have a little respect for the dying!" She blurted out.
"You're not dying." Kimberly patiently corrected.
"I'm hoping to. Tell me something...that horrible girl..."
"Uh-huh."
"...who kept giggling, and trying to do a striptease..."
"Uh-huh."
"...that was me, wasn't it?"
"Uh-huh." Kim finished.
Trini promptly buried her face in her hands and moaned "Oh, no! Aisha must hate me! It was her wedding reception, and I ruined it!"
"Trini, Aisha wasn't exactly in a position to notice. See, her labor pains started, and they rushed her off to the hospital. She had a baby girl, 7 lbs., 9oz.!" Kim cheered.
Trini was also excited. She cheered, then had a twinge of hangover pain. "OOOOH!"
"I hope the baby doesn't keep them awake on their honeymoon." Kim thought to herself.
Trini took a look at herself in a portable mirror. Looking at her tongue, she turned to Kim, and whispered "Look at that."
"Ugh. I think I'd rather take a bath!" Kim quickly frowned.
As Kimberly went to the bathroom, Trini called after her "Well, it's your fault, you made the punch!"
"There was nothing wrong with my punch!" Kim defended.
"Oh, no? Then why did it turn the ladle green?"
Kim started her bathwater as she yelled out the door "I dunno. Maybe it was the gin. Or the tequila. Or the vodka. Or...TRINI! There's a man in there!"
"You wish!"
"No kidding, there's a man in here, come on!"
Both girls raced in and discovered a man in the tub. "What's he doing here?" Trini asked.
Kim freaked. "Maybe he's a robber!"
"Yeah, Kimberly. He came to steal our bathtub, and fell asleep on the job!"
This caused the man to turn over in the tub, getting a faceful of water in the process. Any sleep he had left was gone, thus he jumped up, and found 2 girls staring at him.
"Good evening." the man said, obviously embarressed.
"Morning." Kim corrected.
"Good lord, is it morning?"
Trini took over. "Yes. And, if you don't mind a dumb question...who in the world are you?"
"My name's Zack. Zack Taylor."
"How did you wind up in our tub?" Kim asked.
Zack got this blank look on his face. "I dunno. All I remember is that I had a glass of that horrible punch, and then everything went black."
"And green." Trini finished.
"We gave the party." Kim smiled.
"I know. I was one of your guests. I came with a friend who knew one of the gatecrashers. Anyway, I'd better go." Zack started.
"You can't go like that, you're all soaking wet. Let us dry your clothes for you, at least." Kim asked.
"All right."
Kimberly was getting Zack's clothes from him while he was still in the bathroom. "Ok, shirt, pants, underwear, socks, jacket. Anything else?"
"Only things that don't come off!" Zack called.
Trini tossed him a rather frilly robe. "Here you go."
"This is awful!"
"Aisha thought so, too, that's why she left it." Trini replied.
"Aw, no!"
Kim told him "It's the only thing we have that will fit you."
"Alright." In 1 minute, Zack stepped out into the living room wearing the robe, sending Kim & Trini into fits of giggles. "Well, Kim, what do you think?" Trini asked.
Kim replied "I dunno, I'm used to seeing it pregnant!"
Trini broke up the minigigglefest by saying "I'll fix breakfast."
Zack told them "Man, I need to shave!"
"I can help you with that! Come on." Kim told him, and led him back into the bathroom, and gave him a Lady Schick razor. On seeing the look Zack gave her, she answered "I have a very light beard."
While Zack was still shaving, Kim was helping Trini make breakfast. Trini looked over. "Wow, you really loused up that toast!"
"It's not my fault, Aisha didn't leave the recipe! How're the eggs, are they ready?" Kim asked.
"Oh, they're ready, alright...for the garbage pail!"
Zack walked in. "Something smells good."
Trini smiled "Breakfast...and you're just in time."
"Mind if I eat in my boots?" Zack asked.
"I rather you ate off the table." Kim told him.
Breakfast was served. Zack looked at his plate, and his hosts, his face asking "My god, what is this?"
Seeing his face, Trini was embarresed. "They started out as eggs."
Zack put on a large smile. "Well, I'm sure it's delicious."
Kimberly looked at him, and said "Optimist!" That got her a whack on the arm from Trini.
Zack took a bite. The next look on his face said it all, but he still said "This is...horrible!"
Kimberly frowned "I suppose you can do better?"
Taking this as a challenge, Zack got up and said "The proof will be in the eating, let's see what you've got here." Walking over to the fridge, he took stock. "Eggs, bacon, mushrooms, cheese, that should do."
"What are you making" Kim asked.
"Mushroom & Cheese omelettes with a side of bacon & hash browns. Can you scramble an egg?" Zack asked.
"I dunno, Aisha did all of the cooking."
"Right. I'll also need a heaping teaspoon of wine, if you have it."
Trini grinned. "You got it, all that wine from the party!" She then raced for the living room, then stopped and asked "Does it have to be one color?"
"It helps."
As Trini was pouring wine back into a bottle, there was a knock from the front door. Mrs. Mitchell was there, and she asked Trini to please keep it down next time. "Will keeps griping 'I don't want any loud noises, or hankypanky in my house!' He's probably the only person who thinks Queen Victoria was a swinger!"
Zack walked in at that time. "Trini, what would you like in your omlet?"
"Cheese & mushrooms, thanks." Zack walked back into the kitchen. Trini then realised that Mrs. Mitchell was still standing there. "Who...?" she started.
"Uh...girlfriend spent the night last night?"
"Now, wait a minute..."
Trini gently gave Mrs. Mitchell the bum's rush, saying "She looks god-awful without makeup, doesn't she? Anyway, we promise to keep it down from now on!" Trini quickly closed the door, and leaned against it, sighing.
An hour later, Trini & Kimberly were showing the apartment to one Kendrix Morgan. She basically drove them crazy with the way she acted. "Basically, when I'm not at work, I'll be chinwagging with you gals."
Kim whispered to Trini {Oh, brother!} then said "Well, this is the kitchen, where we chin our wags. This is Zack Taylor. We just met him this morning, we found him in our bathtub." Zack's clothes had dried, except for his shirt, and he was basically topless except for his jacket, still making breakfast.
Kendrix was stunned, then said, as she walked back out into the living room "I found a spider in the bathtub, once. I just screamed, put the plug in the drain, and it's been there ever since.
It was now Trini's turn to whisper. {Good grief!, please let there be someone else!} She then spoke "Kendrix..."
"All my friends call me Kissyface."
Kim gave Trini a disgusted look. {I am NOT calling a grown woman Kissyface!} she whispered.
{Me neither!} "Uh, Kendrix...we have a LOT of other people looking at this apartment."
{We do?}
{There better be!}
At this point, William Mitchell, the landlord, barged in. Trini spoke, "This is our landlord, Mr. Mitchell!"
Kendrix spoke pleasantly "How do you do, I was just telling the girls that this looks like a..."
"TAKE OFF THOSE CLOTHES, YOU PHONY!"
"Excuse me?"
"'Excuse me.' Doesn't even sound like a woman!" He then started poking her chest, yelling "Anyone can see that those aren't real! They're..." He, of course, found out that they were real. "Oh, my god!"
"YOU HORRIBLE MAN!" Kendrix screamed, whacking him with her purse."
"I'm sorry, it's just that they didn't look real!" Mitchell stammered. Kendrix started to whack him again. "Not that! I meant... I..." he kept stumbling over his words as he went to the front door. "I...I...Oh, my god!" he mumbled, as he ran out the door."
A completely flustered Kendrix looked at Kimberly & Trini, totally shocked. "He touched my bosoms!"
"Is he getting enough Geritol?" Kim asked her roomate.
As she went for the door, Kendrix said "I'm sorry, I just couldn't live with...I just couldn't live in a house with a man, I... Oh... HE DIDN'T EVEN SAY PLEASE! she yelled, as she went out the door, slamming it behind her.
Pleased, the 2 gave a phony 'Aww' snap. Zack called from the kitchen "Breakfast is ready." Both girls went into the kitchen.
A true gentleman, Zack held out the chairs for both girls, and served them both first, telling them "I'm taking Culinary Arts classes at L.A. Technical college. You are looking at the Galloping Gourmet of 2002."
"Wow, it takes that long?" Trini asked.
"Of couse. You have to trot before you can gallop. Wait a minute, who said that? Anyway, I hope to open a restaurant for people who can truly apprieciate high prices."
Kim & Trini each took a bite...and were blown away by the taste. "MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!" both girls spoke up.
Zack grinned. "I'm glad you like it, I don't get much of a chance to practice where I live at, unless I get enough for a place of my own, or move in with someone."
Kimberly got this look on her face. She turned to Trini and asked "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
"I think so."
Kim then turned to Zack. "We were wondering if you'd like..."
"I like it already."
Trini took over the conversation. "Hold it a minute, we'll be right back." then both took their breakfasts, and walked into the living room.
"Hold it, Kim! Now, let's weigh out the pluses & minuses...
"1: He is a terrific cook! Both: "PLUS!"
"2: He would be great protection around the house. Both: "PLUS!"
"3: He is very good looking. Kimberly spoke up "Plus!", but Trini said "Minus!"
"What?"
"Minus. You saw the way he looked at you. I know you, Kim, you have a very low melting point."
"Yeah. But with Zack, I'll be strong."
"Sorry, Kim, but you know what the answer has to be."
"Yeah. You'll have to be strong for the both of us!"
"WHAT?!?"
Zack couldn't believe his ears. "You want me to move in with you?"
Trini told him "At least think about it."
"OK, I'll think about it." He then took a quick look at Kimberly. "I'll take it."
"Just so you know..." Trini quickly grabbed him and said "...that is your room, this is ours. One false move, and we take you straight to the vet!"
"OK."
"And you can move in about anytime." Kimberly told him just as the doorbell rang. She answered it, and Mr & Mrs. Mitchell were standing there. "That's not the one." Mitchell told his wife.
"These are our landlords, Mr. & Mrs. William Mitchell." Trini told him.
"It's a pleasure to meet you, sir..." Zack started.
"Nice to...wait a minute. I'm sorry. 1 guy & 2 girls living together? I don't allow that here.
"It'll be strictly platonic."
"I...what do you mean,'platonic'?" Mitchell asked.
"Like you and me, William." Mrs Mitchell spoke up.
"Even so, you can't move in here."
"I guess that's all there is to say on the subject." Zack spoke up, and returned to the kitchen, Kimberly quickly following him.
"I can't believe him! We're in the 21st Century, and he's still living in the Victorian age! I have half a mind to let him have it!" Zack frowned.
"Go for it." Kimberly told him.
"You wouldn't mind?
"Mind? I'd love it. Let's go." Both walked out of the kitchen, where Zack started to say "Mr. Mitchell, I wouldn't live under your roof for all the tea in England, and..." That was as far as he had gotten.
"It's ok. Trini filled us in. You can stay." Mitchell told him.
"And we hope you'll be very happy here." Mrs. Mitchell told him as they walked out the door.
Zack & Kimberly were amazed. "How did you do that?" Kim stammered.
"Well, I just told them that Zack was a decent, hard working young man, and there would be no trouble in his living here." Trini spoke.
"And that did it?" Zack asked.
"Um, not exactly. You see...I also told them that you were gay."
"YOU TOLD THEM WHAT?!?!"
"It's really good to have you here!" Trini said, wisely changing the subject. Zack, Trini, & Kimberly smiled, and the girls showed their new roomate the place.