Disclaimer: I own Gundam Wing. Not. Seriously, I don't (Please don't sue me).
This is my first attempt on (semi) yaoi. I intended this to be a romantic comedy so if you don't find it funny, just laugh anyways coz I failed in making it funny [sigh]. Well, to be honest, I have a different sense of humor. I always find ironies very funny, as you can see from my two humor fics. And this fic will be full of ironies. For comments, suggestions, flames or reviews, you can email me at raizenheero@aol.com
AC 200 (L4 Colony)
Relena winced as the new Prime Minister for the South Pacific Region hugged her tight for the nth time that afternoon. She could feel his hands moving further down her back. Seeing her predicament, Quatre cleared his throat and discreetly pulled her away from the Prime Minister's grasp. Sighing in relief, Relena snuggled closer to Quatre, one of his arms wrapped protectively around her waist.
Smiling sheepishly, the Prime Minister said, "You really have a very lovely wife, Mr. Winner."
Quatre smiled at him. "Yes, I know. I'm a very lucky man."
"Indeed," he answered, still ogling Relena. Relena smiled uneasily at him. Geez, it sure feels like he's undressing me with his gaze, she thought.
"Now I know why you found it necessary to elope with her. I have the urge myself to elope with her right this minute," the Prime Minister added. His words made Quatre and Relena cringe but both being good diplomats, they managed to hide their uneasiness and instead smiled good-naturedly at him. "What I don't understand are the rumors about you having an affair with that other Gundam Pilot turned head of the Preventer base here in L4. I can clearly see that you're very much a man such as myself. And that you're very happy with your wife."
Quatre's grip tightened around Relena's waist though his smile didn't waver. Sensing Quatre's discomfort, Relena jumped to the rescue. "You know how the media is Prime Minister. They always manage to either get things out of context or blow it out of proportion. But rumors aside, it has been a pleasure having you here. We hope that you visit us again," she said as graciously as she can, her mind chanting the opposite. God, you're the creepiest person I have ever met. Please go away and don't ever come back.
"Of course I wouldn't dream of refusing an invitation from such a vision of loveliness like you, Vice Foreign Minister," the old pervert answered, taking Relena's hand to kiss it. Quatre saw that he has no intention of letting Relena's hand go soon so he said, "I think your ride is waiting for you, Prime Minister. You better hurry or else you might miss your flight." Allah forbid that ever happens, he prayed silently.
Releasing her hand, the Prime Minister looked over his shoulder and saw the limo parked by the Winner mansion's driveway. He turned his head back to address the couple. "Thank you for your hospitality, Mr and Mrs Winner. Goodbye." After giving Relena one last kiss, he walked towards the limo and went in.
Quatre and Relena waved wholeheartedly at the departing limo, relief washing over them as they saw the limo exit the gate. Finally, they got rid of that nosy, perverted bastard. They went back inside the house, heading straight to the den.
Trowa looked up from his book when they came in. Quatre sat down beside him on the couch while Relena settled on a nearby loveseat. After glancing around, Relena asked, "Trowa, where's Heero?"
Trowa closed his book and placed it on top of the table. "He went outside saying that he just need to take care of something," he answered flatly but his one visible eye twinkled with mischief.
Both Relena and Quatre cocked an eyebrow. They didn't like the sound of that. Suddenly, they heard a loud popping noise followed by a crash coming from outside.
"What was that?" Quatre said as he ran to the window. But he didn't see anything. As if on cue, Heero strode casually inside the room. Quatre and Relena eyed him carefully as he sat down beside Relena, both not failing to notice the satisfied smirk on his face.
"Ok, Heero, spill it," Relena said. She knew well enough that unexplained loud noises and Heero smirking were not mere coincidences. "What was that all about?"
"The Prime Minister's limo blew a tire," Heero answered.
"Blew a tire? That didn't sound like a tire blowing up to me. And how in the world would his limo blow a tire?" Quatre asked incredulously.
"Oh, it was an accident. A stray bullet hit one of the tires and the limo skidded off then turned over."
"WHAT?! What did you do that for?!" Quatre yelled.
"He's fawning over my wife," he calmly stated as he put his arm around Relena's shoulders. Relena beamed at him.
Quatre sighed. "Yes, I know. And I tried my best to keep his hands off her. But as much as I wanted to shoot his limo too, didn't you realize that he might decide to spend the night here now that his limo is not going anywhere? Or worse he might get hurt and stay here longer. I couldn't stand another second with that scumbag. And how can we explain the bullet?"
"Don't worry. Nobody was hurt. And I already sent one of your limos with a medic to check up on him and his driver and to give him a ride to the spaceport. Besides, I called the spaceport and told them to wait for the Prime Minister because he'll be late. There was a failed assassination attempt on his life."
Quatre shook his head, smiling. It was like Heero to make a revenge as thorough as this one. And without getting anyone killed or suspicious too. Just rattled. "It's a good thing that I haven't fawned Relena over this course of time that we are supposedly married. Or else you might have killed me already."
"I don't believe you're capable of such actions, Quatre. They might call me the Perfect Soldier but you're the Perfect Gentleman."
"And we're all friends here. You wouldn't do anything that'll hurt your friends, would you?" Trowa amended.
"Yeah. I'm very much confident that you'll never take advantage of me, Quatre," Relena told him. "And thank you for saving me many times from the claws of that dirty, old man."
"No need to thank me. You're my wife too, you know," Quatre answered. Seeing the way Heero was looking at him, he added, "My wife in front of the whole ESUN, I mean."
Relena sighed and snuggled closer to Heero. "Tomorrow will be our supposedly first year wedding anniversary. And to be honest, I'm getting tired of this situation. No offense, Quatre."
"None taken. I know what you mean. I'm getting tired of all this pretending too. It's hard to hide from everybody whom you really love," Quatre remarked, taking Trowa's hand in his. Trowa gave him a small smile. "And I know that it's harder for you, Relena. If only the rumors about me and Trowa didn't come out, jeopardizing not only my position as the head of the Colony Delegates but also the Winner Corporation's business deals and if my sisters weren't badgering me to get married and have an heir, I wouldn't have drag you into this mess."
"Don't be too hard on yourself. You didn't drag me into this mess, I dragged myself into this mess. The ESUN Council made a ruling for me to marry a Colony Delegate to secure an alliance between the colonies and the Earth. Even Milliardo couldn't do anything to change their minds. It was just pure luck that we both needed to trade favors --- you, looking for a fake wife and me looking for a fake Colony delegate husband. Not only did we make the Council and your sisters happy, we also came up with this brilliant 'arrangement'."
"I never thought that having Duo as a priest will come in handy," Trowa said. "With him, you and Quatre could pretend to elope, announcing that Duo married you secretly, having the rest of us as your witnesses and nobody will doubt the authenticity of your words."
"But in fact, Duo married us," Heero stated.
"Yes. Everything was neatly arranged. Still, we all know that we couldn't keep this charade forever. We just managed to delay the inevitable, to avoid getting married to a person someone else had chosen for us. Sooner or later, we have to tell Noin, Zechs and the whole ESUN the truth. And may Allah help us when that day comes," Quatre told them.
"Especially when Relena gets pregnant and gives birth to a child who has brown hair and Prussian blue eyes," Trowa commented. The four of them laughed at the thought though they didn't notice that Relena's laugh was a little bit forced and tensed.
Heero glanced at his watch then said, "Trowa, we better go. Lady Une will be calling the HQ within 30 minutes to hear our monthly report regarding the status of the Preventer base here."
Trowa nodded and kissed Quatre goodbye. Heero gave Relena a quick kiss on the mouth. "I'll be back before dinner," he promised. Relena and Quatre watched the love of their lives walked toward the door and leave.
The next morning…
"Master Quatre! Master Quatre! Wake up, Master Quatre!" Rashid said as he continued pounding on the door.
Quatre lifted his head from Trowa's shoulders and looked at the clock. 7:00 am. "What is it, Rashid?" he asked sleepily.
"Milliardo Peacecraft and his wife Noin are here to see you."
"Ok," Quatre answered groggily as he settled back to Trowa's arms. Then, Rashid's words sank to his brain. "WHAT?!"
Trowa was awakened by Quatre's outburst. "What's what, Quatre?" he inquired as he kissed his lover's golden head.
"Noin and Zechs are here."
Trowa immediately jumped out of bed and got dressed. "What will I say to them, Master Quatre?" Rashid asked behind the closed door.
"Tell them that we'll be down after a few minutes. We need to take a shower first," Quatre instructed. He then went to his vidphone and punched some keys.
Heero heard a beeping sound. He untangled himself from Relena and pressed a button on his laptop resting on the bedside table. Quatre's image appeared on the screen.
"Heero! Wake Relena up quick! Zechs and Noin are here."
"Huh?" Heero jerked into a sitting position. "Where's Trowa?"
"He's already back in his room. Get Relena in here, hurry!" The call was then terminated.
Heero turned his attention to his wife. "Relena, wake up. Noin and Zechs are here," he said while shaking her awake.
Relena rolled to the side and stood up. She sleepily started getting dressed. "Why would they visit without telling us? And why this early in the morning?"
"I don't know. But we'll find out soon."
After they both got dressed, they went to the bookshelf by the East wall. Heero pulled a book then put his thumb on a concealed thumbprint checker monitor. The shelf slid to the left revealing another wall. Heero knocked at the wall three times. They saw the wall parted as Trowa opened it from his side. The pair went in Trowa's room. Trowa then pushed a camouflaged button on the opposite wall, revealing an entrance to Quatre's room. Quatre approached them as Relena and Heero entered.
"I have to commend your foresight, Heero. Putting connecting doors in our rooms was really a good idea. It'll make sneaking around easier."
Thirty minutes later...
Noin and Zechs stood up as Quatre and Relena entered the drawing room. "Milliardo! Noin! It's nice of you to visit us," Relena said as she hugged her brother then Noin.
"I can see that married life suits you well, Relena," Noin replied, hugging her back. The older woman could see Relena glowing with happiness.
Quatre shook hands with Zechs then hugged Noin. "You should have told us you're coming. We could have picked you up from the spaceport," Quatre told them.
The four of them sat down. Quatre and Relena sat on the left couch while Zechs and Noin sat opposite them. "Well, we wanted to surprise both of you so we didn't call. Sorry if we came too early in the morning. Noin and I are just excited to share with you your first year wedding anniversary," Zechs explained.
Relena reached out to squeeze Quatre's hand. "Thank you for remembering. It means a lot to us."
"Aside from that, we also thought that this would be a good opportunity for a family get together. We haven't seen each other since you two eloped. So we decided to stay here for a week, if that's ok with you," Noin said.
Quatre and Relena looked at each other, both having one thought in their heads. Uh-oh, this spells trouble.
"Of course it's ok with us. You're family. You can stay for as long as you like," Quatre offered.
"What about the twins? And the Sanc Kingdom? How can the Kingdom function without it's Chief Representative?" Relena asked.
"We left Zoe and Laird with Mrs. Darlian. You know how much she loves those two-yr old monsters," Noin answered with affection.
"As for the Kingdom, I left Viceroy Dariñas in-charge for the duration of my stay here. And I told him to call me immediately if ever a problem brews. Though I doubt that'll happen," Zechs added.
A knock interrupted their conversation. "Come in," Quatre called out. The butler entered the room and announced, "Breakfast is served, Master Quatre."
"Good," he answered as he helped Relena up. Noin and Zechs followed suit. "Are Trowa and Heero in the dining room yet?"
"No, sir. But we already informed them of breakfast. They'll be down any minute."
"Thanks, Ray." Quatre offered an arm to Relena and the four of them followed Ray to the dining room.
******************************************
After breakfast Quatre, Relena, Zechs, Noin, Trowa and Heero went to the drawing room to continue their conversation, updating each other with what was happening in their respective lives. An hour passed by when suddenly Noin asked, "Don't you have any meetings today, Relena?"
"Nope. Great isn't it? And just in time for my wedding anniversary," Relena replied and without thinking, beamed at Heero who was sitting across her beside Noin. Noin and Zechs gave her a funny look while Heero glared at her. Quatre tried to salvage the situation.
"Alright, dear, I know you asked Heero for help in picking out my anniversary gift so where is it?"
Relena sighed in relief. "I can't hide anything from you, huh? Well, we're just going to get it, aren't we, Heero?"
Heero shot her a questioning look before nodding. Relena stood up and kissed Quatre on the cheek. "I'll just go upstairs and get my purse. We'll be back soon," she told everyone before walking out of the room, Heero trailing behind her.
After the two left, Quatre and Trowa felt uncomfortable. They didn't know if they should scoot closer to each other since there was a big space between them left by Relena. But before they could decide, they heard Zechs speak. "Pardon me for asking this but isn't it risky to have Heero around here? I mean, you're friends and all and I don't have anything against the guy but you know how crazy Relena was with him and he with Relena. It's true that they broke up a week before you eloped but they might… well, be tempted, so to speak."
Trowa blinked while Quatre tried to stifle a laugh and make a straight face. Zechs was concerned that Relena might cheat on Quatre? And with Heero too, who was actually her husband? Everything was so funny and they would had laughed out loud if not for the consequences they had to face later.
"Don't worry, Zechs. I trust both my wife and my friend. Besides, you know the fact that Heero is the only person capable of protecting Relena. I was also a Gundam pilot but I couldn't be with her every moment because of my job. And I wouldn't jeopardize her safety by firing Heero as her bodyguard just because he was her ex-boyfriend."
"You're right," Zechs agreed. But I still think it's risky. Heero spends more time with Relena than Quatre. I better keep an eye on those two.
"Speaking of gifts, what is your anniversary present for Relena, hmm?" Noin asked Quatre.
Quatre stiffened. They forgot to arrange for fake gifts. "Oh, it's a secret, Noin. I helped Quatre find the perfect gift for Relena. She'll definitely like it," Trowa answered quietly.
**************************************
Relena entered the master's bedroom, Heero closing the door behind them. "That was a close one," Relena said as she looked for her purse.
Heero snaked his arms around her waist. "Hn. Be careful next time."
Relena sighed. "They'll be here for the whole week. Can we keep up this act that long? Any of us might slip."
"Maybe it's a sign. Maybe it's time for the four of us to come clean."
Relena looked at him. "I know that you're getting tired of this too, Heero. And as much as I like to tell them the truth right this minute, I can't. We have to talk to Trowa and Quatre first. They have more to lose than us."
"I understand. Don't think that I'm pressuring you," he told her gently, his Prussian blue eyes looking right into her sky blue ones. He then leaned down and captured her lips for a passionate kiss. When they pulled apart, Heero smiled at her. "Happy Anniversary, Relena."
"Happy Anniversary to you too," Relena answered. A frown suddenly appeared on her face. "So we have to scrap the romantic dinner huh? Since Noin and Milliardo are here."
"I'm afraid so. But don't worry, we have all night to celebrate," Heero told her huskily.
She coyly smiled. "I'm looking forward to that and your present, Mr. Yuy. But I think we should better go now and get Quatre his present."
The two proceeded to go down the stairs. Heero was about to open the main door for Relena when the doorbell rang. Heero's hand on the knob stilled, his other hand gripped the gun on his waist. He then slowly opened the door.
"SURPRISE!!!"
Relena and Heero stood frozen on spot when they saw Duo, Hilde, Catherine, Dorothy, Sally and Wufei by the doorway.
"Happy Anniversary!" Hilde said as she hugged Relena. Dorothy, Sally and Catherine did the same.
"Hey, leave some for me," Duo said as he hugged Relena. "Looking good, Jousan. I can see that my buddy has been taking good care of you." He gave Heero a sly grin. Heero just nodded at him.
"Heero," Wufei greeted.
"Wufei," Heero responded.
"Sorry if we came unexpectedly. We want to surprise you since it's your anniversary," Dorothy explained.
"Yeah. We thought that we could do something fun. That's why we'll be staying for the whole week," Sally added.
Relena and Heero remained staring at them.
"Heero? Relena? Aren't you glad to see us?" Hilde asked.
Relena snapped out of her trance and smiled at her friends. "Oh sorry. Don't get us wrong. We're really glad that you're here. It's just that this is the second surprise we got this morning."
"Come inside," Heero told them.
Catherine smiled at him. She felt comfortable with Heero, maybe because he and her brother were so alike. "And I thought you've changed. Don't be so uptight, Heero. Afterall, it's your anniv---" she trailed off as she saw Quatre, Trowa, Noin and Zechs emerged from the drawing room.
"Hey, Noin! Zechs! So you're here too for Relena and Heer---" he stopped in midsentence when he felt Heero's foot stomped on his. Wincing he continued, "I mean her husband, Quatre's first year wedding anniversary." Nice recovery, baka, Duo told himself. Everybody who knew about the secret sighed in relief.
Noin and Zechs looked at each other, puzzled with what was going on. Noin then smiled at them. "Yes. And we'll be staying here for a whole week."
"Great! We'll be staying here for the whole week too. Lady Une gave Wufei and me a week off," Sally informed them.
"How about the circus, Cathy? Don't you have any shows? And your parish in L2 too, Duo. How can it function without its priest?" Quatre asked.
"Well, the manager gave me the week off too. Sort of a vacation," Catherine replied.
"Don't worry about my parish, Q-man. I'm not the only priest there. I need the vacation too you know."
"I thought priests don't have vacations," Trowa said.
"What do you expect from Maxwell, Trowa? He's the only priest in the whole ESUN who'll ask for a vacation or enjoy drinking the wine during communion," Wufei remarked.
Duo nodded his head solemnly. "What can I say? I'm the most special and unique priest in the whole galaxy." Everybody shook their heads, smiling. They hate to admit it but it's true. And it's comforting to know that there are some things that will never change.
"What about you, Dorothy? How did you manage to take the week off?" Relena inquired.
"Simple. I just told my Board of Directors that I'll go on a vacation and if they won't let me I'll go crazy and attack them with my fencing foil," Dorothy answered with amusement. "Besides, I own the company, I can do whatever I want." She then remembered that Heero and Relena were the ones who opened the door, not the butler. "Are you two going somewhere, Relena?"
"Uh-huh. Heero and I are going to get my present for Quatre."
"We better go, Relena," Heero told her.
Quatre looked at the grandfather clock. "I think I should go too. I have an important board meeting. And I have to pick up Relena's present."
"So you don't hide presents from each other nowadays." Dorothy commented.
"They intended it to be a secret but Quatre just discovered Relena's plan for him this morning so there's no use hiding anymore," Zechs answered.
Trowa addressed Quatre. "I'll come with you. I need to go to the Preventers HQ to check up on things."
"Speaking of which, Lady Une instructed me to give you this," Wufei said, handing Trowa a disk.
"What? You're all going to leave us here?" Hilde asked.
"Sorry but we have to. In the meantime, make yourselves at home. You can pass time in the recreation room, entertainment room, or in the pool house. You can also do combat practice in the training room. We'll be back just in time for lunch," Quatre said.
"Bye! See you guys later," Relena called out as she, Heero and Quatre went out of the mansion. Trowa gave Catherine a hug and a kiss before following them out and closing the door.
The 8 people left looked at each other. Catherine was the first one to speak. "Anyone wants to be my target as I practice my knife-throwing? It'll be fun."
Outside
Heero, Relena, Quatre and Trowa stopped a few feet away from Quatre's limo. They could see Quatre's personal bodyguards, Rashid and Abdul waiting inside the limo.
"So this means we have to cancel our trip to the cabin tonight," Quatre said to Trowa.
"Yes. We only planned to go anyways to give Heero and Relena a chance to be alone for a romantic dinner since they couldn't go out and have a romantic dinner in a restaurant without the risk of being caught. And by the looks of it, they have to cancel too."
"You got it right, Trowa. But we could do all of these next time and we had been pretty much secluded this past year to do anything we want. I'm really glad that they're all here but the odds of us slipping increased by 110%," Relena told them.
"We just have to be more careful. And we should get all of our stories straight. Starting from the gifts. Relena and I will buy you a gift, Quatre. Then just pretend that the gift that I'll give Relena came from you," Heero instructed.
"Good idea. What about the others?" Quatre asked.
"Don't worry about them. After the initial blunder they'll be extra careful," Trowa assured him.
"Well then, now that everything is settled, we should get going," Relena said.
"Ok, bye," Quatre said as he and Trowa went inside the limo. Relena and Heero, on the other hand, went in the direction of Heero's parked MB Convertible. The two cars then drove off in opposite directions.
Next in Mismatched... During the night somebody screamed a name so loud everybody heard it [wink, wink]. Will it cause more trouble for the mismatched couples? (Lemon)