Joey sat on the edge of her dock,
she stared out at the water absently, her brown eyes engulfed into the
water of the creek. There was a hard breeze outside but Joey didn't pay
any attention to it, all she could pay attention to was the sound of her
already broken heart breaking even more. It had been a few days since the
events of their senior prom, but it felt like it was still going on; Joey
couldn't understand what she had done to make Pacey think that she deserved
better then him, all she had done was love Pacey with all her being, and
for that he dumped her and not to mention humilated her in front of their
whole senior class. Right now Joey was in her livid stage, a few hours
ago she had been in her depressed state, but she liked being angry more.
Pacey was so mean! The whole night leading up to their senior prom
had been a disaster and it was all Pacey's fault, he kept making those
little mistakes, but Joey hadn't cared, all she cared about was being with
Pacey. But oh no, Pacey didn't want to be with her... he couldn't even
dare to touch her, as he had told her at the prom. Joey had never seen
that side of Pacey, she had never seen Pacey be so mean, so calice, so
evil, so not who she thought she fell in love with.
The relationship between them was
over... and what for? Just because Joey had been dancing with Dawson? Joey
couldn't even begin to fathom why being happy while dancing with her best
friend ever since she was a little girl, would set Pacey off the way it
did. Joey was always happy when she was with Dawson, maybe that was the
problem... Dawson did somethig Pacey couldn't, Dawson made her happy and
he didn't expect anything from it, just a smile from the girl across the
creek.
When Joey had left her house and
sat down on the edge of the docks, she hadn't planned on being cynical
or blaming Pacey, but she couldn't help herself. He had humilated her in
front of everyone! Joey Potter was already the punching bag for Capeside,
and now Pacey just gave them another reason to laugh and gossip about her,
and that made her even more angry. Why had he said those things? Joey kept
asking herself that in the limo ride home, she didn't know why Pacey would
blame her for having dreams, for wanting to get out of Capeside. The limo
ride home had been so hard and so slow in time, Joey would once in a while
look up in the rearview window of the limo and see Dawson staring at her
sadly...
Dawson. Again, he had been the first
one to ask if she was okay. Of course, she had told him she would be okay,
she didn't want to worry Dawson, she didn't want to put anymore stress
on her friend. Dawson had always been the one to pick up the pieces when
Joey got hurt, but this time... she wouldn't let him. She wouldn't let
him get wrapped up in one of her problems again, it was time for Dawson
to live his life. Dawson was with Gretchen now, and if it was the last
thing Joey Potter was going to do, she was going to make sure she didn't
make Dawson worry about her. He deserved to be happy, even if she wasn't
happy.
"Jo?"
Joey sighed, letting some newfound
tears fall out of her eyes, and trickle down her cheeks; The salty tears
stinged, and they felt like they were burning her cheeks, as if they were
made of acid, but Joey didn't bother to brush them away.
"Joey?"
Joey heard him call for her again,
but she didn't dare to look up, she didn't want him to see the horrible
look on her face, she hated it when he saw her crying. He would always
get a sad look on his face, and his eyes would soften up and before she
knew it, she would be crying in his arms as he rocked her.
"Please, just go away."
Joey didn't mean for her voice to
come out as harsh as it did, but all she wanted to do was be left alone.
She didn't want anymore sympathy from her friends... first it had been
Jack, then Jen had called and then even Drue Valentine e-mailed her saying
how bad he felt for her. Joey couldn't handle another 'I'm sorry, he was
such an asshole to you' look, Joey would just scream if someone asked if
she was okay one more time... screaming... now that didn't sound too bad.
"I can't Joey, I'm worried about
you."
Joey scooted over on the dock when
she felt him sit down next to her, Joey let her brown eyes stare down at
his shoes, sure his shoes weren't that interesting, but it was better then
looking him in the face... now that she couldn't do.
"Now Dawson Leery, why would you
be worried about me? Because the guy I was and am still in love with and
thought was in love with me, humilated me and made me feel like this horrible
person on what was supposed to be an enjoyous occasion? Or maybe you should
be worried about me, because a guy I had sex with the first time can't
bring himself to touch me."
Dawson let out a sad sigh, he didn't
even know why he was here, he knew that Joey needed more time before she
would actually be able to talk civily to her friends, but for some reason
he had gotten in his mom's car and drove to Joey's house.
"Joey, you're not the only one that
got hurt on prom night. Gretchen dumped me."
Joey looked away from Dawson's shoes
and stared at him, her eyes drilling into his.
"What? What happened? Oh god please,
don't let it be because we danced."
Dawson smiled softly.
"No, she said she felt like she
was too old to be doing this and that---"
Joey glared.
"If she said that you two were on
two different paths and that you two were two different people, you can
thank that little speech to Pacey."
Dawson shook his head.
"She wouldn't even give me a chance,
us a chance to work it out."
Joey nodded knowingly.
"Wow, guess her and Pacey are more
alike then we thought."
Dawson opened his mouth to say something
in reponse to what Joey said last, but he couldn't find the words; Dawson
ran his hands over his face and groaned loudly. He hated that this sort
of things always happened to him and Joey, it wasn't possible for one nice
thing to go good for them. He had thought that their bad luck streak had
gone away once he had gotten together with Gretchen and when Joey and Pacey
were together... now, it wasnt like Dawson was the biggest supporter of
the Pacey/Joey relationship, but Dawson, he loved Joey and if Pacey made
her happy... then he wanted her to be with Pacey. But once again, Dawson
and Joey were handed the shitty plate, obviously they must have done something
really bad in their past life to deserve this.
"Joey..."
Joey let out a bitter laugh, why
in the world was she laughing?
"You should go Dawson. I want to
be alone, there is nothing you can do to make the pain of what happened
at prom go away, so don't even try."
Dawson stared at Joey, his eyebrows
furrowed in sadness, but then they furrowed in anger. Why was Joey pushing
him away when she needed him the most? Joey and him had been able to survive
through everything, this time shouldn't be any different, but she was pushing
him away frantically, and that made him angry. Dawson couldn't stand losing
Joey over the events that happened at prom, he wouldn't stand for it.
"Joey, me and you, we have been
able to survive through everything together! Through love, betrayal, heartache,
death, birth... it's always been me and you, and this time should be no
different. You can't do this alone, Joey I can't do this alone, I need
you."
Joey sighed, but didn't say anything.
"Jo, I need you... here with me.
I need you to need me."
Joey bit on her bottom lip, trying
to stop more tears from flowing out of her eyes and down her face, Dawson's
words were so heart-filled and so beautiful, and full of so much need.
"I need you Dawson."
Dawson pushed himself up from the
dock and reached out his hand out to Joey, hoping that she would take it.
Joey looked at the hand Dawson was holding out for her, Joey let her eyes
stare at Dawson and then quickly bounce back to his hand.
"Take my hand Joey, please."
Joey put her hand in Dawson's hand,
Dawson tightened his grip on Joey's hand and pulled her up from the dock.
Joey stared into Dawson's eyes, they were only a few feet apart, and as
Joey stared into Dawson's eyes, she saw the heartache etched there and
she felt that if anyone could understand what she was going through, it
would be Dawson Leery. Joey released her hand from Dawson's and wrapped
both of her arms around Dawson's body as she pulled herself into his body,
she hugged Dawson with all of her force as Dawson did the same. After a
few minutes, Dawson pulled away and stared at Joey, he smiled at her slowly.
"Did you know, that it has been
13 years exactly since the head in the cloud boy and the cynical girl across
the creek met each other?"
Joey let a smile find it's way across
her face.
"Seems like yesterday."
Dawson nodded, he took Joey's hand
and intertwined his fingers with Joey's.
"How about we get inside, before
it starts raining?"
Joey tightened her grip on Dawson's
hand.
"Just as long as you stay with me,
it sounds good to me."
Dawson smiled and guided him and
Joey towards Joey's house.
[ A few hours later.... ]
Dawson sat on the couch, he watched
the scenes of 'Carrie' dance across the screen in the most colorful colors;
Dawson's eyes marveled at the television screen, even though he had seen
this movie a dozen times, he was never amazed by how much he loved the
movie. Dawson tore his eyes away from the movie for a second, to stare
down at the girl sleeping in his arms; Joey's soft long brown hair laid
against her face softly, she had her left hand on Dawson's chest and her
right hand hanging off to the side of the couch. Dawson smiled at the sight
laying out before him, she looks so beautiful, so angelic... Dawson
shook his head, no he would not do this... he would not start realizing
how much he was still in love with Joey. Joey needed him to be the best
friend, and that was what he was going to be for her, the best friend...
nothing more, nothing less, and that was going to be the bottom line. Dawson
sighed, plus he loved Gretchen...
Gretchen. Love. Did he really love
her? For some reason he didn't know anymore, for the past 4 hours before
Joey had fallen asleep in his arms, they had just talked. Not about Pacey,
or Gretchen, or even senior prom, they just talked; Mostly about movies,
but they would occasionally talk about the havoc babies could create in
their lives. Dawson had been at his happiest talking to Joey, and now 5
hours later, he was lying on Joey Potter's couch watching an old horror
flick feeling confused about which he girl he truly did love.
It was pretty much the same scenario...
Joey VS. Gretchen. On one hand Dawson had liked Gretchen before Joey,
he had the biggest crush on Gretchen Whitter but then on the other hand,
Dawson had loved Joey with all he had. What he had with Joey had been more
then just a crush, but so was his relationship with Gretchen. Dawson didn't
know what to think anymore, why did things have to be so confusing for
him? The two women he was in love with were both in pain...
Gretchen was in pain because she
felt that she was too old to be with him and Joey was in pain because of
Pacey. And the fact that Dawson had automatically gone to comfort
Joey was now just stating what Gretchen had already pointed out to him...
he was always chasing after Joey Potter. Always chasing after something
he couldn't achieve, Joey's heart belonged to Pacey's, and as much as Dawson
tried to be that *one* for Joey, he wasn't, she wanted Pacey. Damn it,
she wanted Pacey, more then she wanted him.
"What are you thinking about?"
Dawson snapped himself out of his
thoughts, and advanced his gaze down at Joey, who was now fully awake.
"Things. I thought you were asleep."
Joey pushed herself up, she folded
her legs underneath her and stared at Dawson, a serious look in her brown
eyes; Dawson folded his legs in an indian sitting posistion and smiled
softly at Joey.
"What sort of things? Gretchen things?"
Dawson nodded slowly.
"Among other things. Like now, I
am thinking how in the world are we going to be able to face school tomorrow?"
Joey's eyes got a paniced look in
them.
"I totally forgot about school.
I don't think I can go Dawson! Everyone was at the senior prom, they all
saw, they all heard what Pacey said about me, they're going to laugh at
me."
Dawson scooted closer to Joey and
wrapped his arm around her shoulder, pulling Joey into his body.
"Jo, who cares what they think?
Who cares what all those superficial snobs have to say? Joey, for the past
4 years of high school you have been this incredibly strong person, you
woke up every morning and walked into school with your head held up high,
don't let this whole Pacey thing change who you are."
Joey rolled her eyes.
"Who am I Dawson? Do you even know
anymore? So much has changed, how would you know who I am?"
Dawson just smiled.
"It's all in the eyes Joey. You
can go ahead and lie to me all you want, but I can just look in your eyes
and see everything that you are going through, your eyes tell me that you
are still the Joey Potter that has made my life worth living. Joey, I know
you, I know that these past three years have been incredibly hard on our
friendship, but my feelings for you have never changed, well at least the
friendship feelings. Joey, like I said, me and you we have been through
it all and that is not going to change."
Joey finally let a little smile
creep upon her face.
"Thank you Dawson Leery."
Dawson pushed himself up.
"No problem, I should be getting
home, it's getting late."
Joey nodded, she pushed herself
up and followed Dawson to the door.
"Look Joey, we can get through this,
together though okay?"
Joey nodded and hugged Dawson.
"See you at school tomorrow."
Dawson smiled.
"Bye Jo."
Dawson waved and ran down the stairs
of Joey's house and raced to his mom's car, he hopped in and shut the door
and started up the car; Dawson watched Joey go back inside her house, he
smiled sadly to himself, the realization finally hitting him.
He was still in love with Joey Potter...
