CHAPTER 3- AND THE TRUTH SHALL
SET US FREE...
Joey looked up at the house she had
accustomed herself to call her second home, The Leery home, after her mother
died that house became her own; Joey swallowed down some of her fear as
she climbed up the cement steps that led to The Leery house, Joey looked
at her watch:
1:15 pm.
It was still school hours, Joey walked
to the side of the house and smiled softly when she saw Dawson's ladder
resting against the side of the house, Dawson still had the ladder, after
everything that had happened he still had the ladder by his house. Joey
looked up and saw that Dawson's bedroom light was on, Joey didn't know
what she was going to say to Dawson once she entered his room, what would
she say?
Oh hi Dawson, I was just wondering
why you attacked Drue Valentine, yeah that pond scum guy? Because Jack
told me you attacked him because you still loved me, so is it true? Do
you still love me Dawson?
No Joey couldn't say that, Joey didn't
even know what she was doing here, once Jack had told her that the only
reason Dawson had attacked Drue was because he still loved her, Joey had
instantly freaked out. She had ran out of school, and the next thing she
knew she was in front of Dawson's house, Joey wouldn't believe that Dawson
still loved her, after all they had been through... there was no way, that
Dawson still loved her. Dawson loved Gretchen, yes he loved Gretchen, older
Gretchen, and Joey loved Pacey.
But did she? Joey thought she loved
Pacey, but she wasn't so sure anymore. In the past few weeks Joey had lied,
lied about having sex with Pacey to Dawson, that one lie was probably the
one thing that destroyed their relationship, Joey knew it had been wrong
to lie to Dawson about that, but she just couldn't find it in her to tell
Dawson the truth... Joey should have seen that what was wrong with her
and Pacey, the longer Joey was with Pacey, the more she lied, it was lies
after lies after lies. Joey didn't know who she was anymore, she had once
been Joey Potter, the tomboyish girl across the creek, but with Pacey she
didn't know who she was anymore; And then Pacey's actions at senior prom...
those awful words, those hateful words... those words made Joey realize
something...
Joey was no longer in love with Pacey.
Joey walked over to the ladder and
started climbing up, heading towards Dawson's room, Joey needed to know
the truth, Joey needed to hear from Dawson, how he really felt about her,
only then could she move on, grow up and leave Capeside with her mind free
of thoughts of Pacey and Dawson. Joey climbed up the last step, she peered
into Dawson's bedroom and saw that he wasn't in there, Joey sighed and
climbed inside Dawson's window and walked into his bedroom. Joey walked
over to Dawson's desk and stared at the line of framed photos on his desk,
Joey picked up one of the pictures and stared at it; The picture was one
of her and Dawson, they were probably 13, Joey was in her bikini top and
short blue shorts on and blood, fake of course, all over her body... Dawson
had his arm draped around Joey's shoulder and they were both grinning at
the camera. Joey smiled softly at the picture, Joey remembered that day
perfectly, it was right after she had been 'killed' in Dawson's horror
movie.
"Joey?"
Joey put the picture back down on
Dawson's desk, and turned around to face Dawson who had just walked back
in his room; Joey smiled at Dawson.
"Hey Dawson."
Dawson smiled warily at Joey and
put the bag of chips he had in his arms on his bed and raised his eyebrow
at Joey in questioning.
"What's up Joey, what are you doing
here? Don't you have school?"
Joey nodded.
"I ditched."
Dawson shook his head sadly.
"Joey! We only have about 2 weeks
until graduation, and you have already missed enough days because of that
Pacey thing, you shouldn't even be here."
Joey gave Dawson a look.
"Dawson... why did you attack Drue?"
Dawson looked at Joey, he walked
over to his bed and sat down on it, his eyes lowered to the floor.
"Jo, he insulted you, you're my
friend, I defended you."
Joey sighed and walked over to Dawson,
she could see that it was something else.
"Dawson you have always been able
to defend me before without violence, something else is up, spill."
Dawson looked up at Joey, he tried
to avoid the look she was giving him, but he was instantly pulled into
Joey's brown eyes; Whenever Dawson looked into those eyes, he could tell
no lie.
"Joey..."
Joey kneeled in front of Dawson.
"Dawson."
Dawson blew out a breath and closed
his eyes. How come telling Joey what he knew was true was so hard? This
was Joey Potter after all! A girl he told everything to, a girl he had
confessed a million times that he loved her, but finally when it came for
him to say it this time, it became so hard. Dawson's heart was beating
harder and faster then it had ever beat before, Dawson knew that either
he would win Joey back by saying this, or lose Joey forever... literally.
It was only 2 weeks until graduation, if Joey heard something she didn't
want to hear she could just ignore him for the next 2 weeks and then walk
out of his life forever and never look back... that would kill him, but
so was not telling Joey what was going on with him, he needed to tell her,
he couldn't keep it a secret anymore, it was just too hard lying to Joey
anymore.
"Joey, I, well, I still love you
Joey. Wait let me finish... I know that you love Pacey, even after what
he did to you on senior prom, and I know that I probably have no chance
whatsoever in getting you back, but I can't help how I feel. Believe me,
I try Jo, I really do! But it seems the harder I try to stop loving you,
I love you even more, before Gretchen had distracted me from thinking about
you all the time, but with Gretchen gone, all I can see is you. Joey Drue
had been taunting me, saying that I was in love with you, and then... god
I just exploded."
Dawson stopped talking and looked
at Joey; Joey's brown eyes shined brightly, her face was emotionless but
then she finally let a small smile draw itself across her face.
"Dawson, I love you. I always have,
you were always the one that I loved, I loved you so much, I think that
was the problem... I loved you too much. Everything in my life, it revolved
around you Dawson, everything that I did, I did because of you Dawson Leery.
I always wished, hoped, that I could get you, that you would look at me
one day and love me, love me for all my little quirks, and you did... you
really loved me. I was scared, because that love held for me, was so bright,
and I was afraid that you would wake up one day and ask yourself why you
were with someone like me, I thought you deserved better, that is why I
chose Pacey."
Joey's eyes were glistening with
tears; Dawson looked at Joey with a shocked look on his face.
"Better then you? No Joey,
there isn't anything better then you."
Joey let the tears fall out of her
eyes, Dawson pulled Joey up with him and stared at her.
"Nothing will ever be better then
you Joey, nothing."
Dawson leaned in and brushed his
lips gently across Joey's lips, Joey closed her eyes.
Nothing will ever be better then
you Joey, nothing.
Pacey took in a deep breath, as he
stood outside of Dawson's house, staring into Dawson's bedroom window with
a pained look on his face. Pacey turned away, not bearing to see Joey and
Dawson kissing anymore, Pacey jumped back on his bike, and pedaled off
as fast as he could. Pacey had gone to Dawson's after he saw Joey run out
of the school, Pacey had instantly known Joey would go here, Pacey needed
to talk to Joey, to make up for what he did to her at senior prom...
They kissed.
Pacey knew once he and Joey broke
up, that Joey would realize that it was Dawson who she was in love with,
but seeing it, seeing the girl he loved and his best friend kissing, pained
him more then anything ever had. Pacey finally knew how Dawson felt when
he saw him and Joey kissing, Pacey didn't want to be angry with Dawson,
but he was. Pacey knew he had no right to be angry or jealous, he had dumped
Joey, he had told her she deserved better... but damn it, he didn't think
she would move on so easily, so fast. Pacey pedaled a little bit faster,
wanting to get away from Dawson's house; Pacey felt his heart aching, all
he had ever wanted to do was love Joey, he had wanted to give her something
that no one else could... Pacey closed his eyes, remembering the conversation
Joey and him had at senior prom...
You know, last year -- I could
give you something no one else could. I could give you a wall to paint
a mural on, I could sail you around on a boat for a whole summer, I could
give you that night on the ski trip -- but I'm spent now, Jo. I've got
nothing left to give. And it makes me angry that you'd stay with me even
after I've become what I've become.
What have you become? You're just
you, you're a good person and I love you--
-- Joey, I've become someone who
hates himself so much he can't even look in a mirror. And I wish being
with you didn't make it worse but it does. Because the more you love me
in spite of all this, the angrier at you I get... and the more I stop loving
you back.
How long have you felt this way?
I don't know. And I know it isn't
right. I know my failures have nothing to do with you, but if we stay together,
I'm just gonna keep taking it all out on you -- like I did in there tonight.
That was horrible, Joey, and I know all this is totally my fault. I can't
keep treating you like that - but I know I won't stop treating you like
that.
I've got news for you -- how you
treat me, is actually totally in your power.
Joey, look at me... Senior year
is over. We're two different people, heading in two different directions.
There's no boat in the sunset this time. There's Boston and there's Capeside.
Pacey opened his eyes and continued
pedaling, the tears finally falling out of his eyes... he wasn't going
to stop Joey and Dawson from starting up a relationship this time, no he
was just going to let it happen, because that was what Joey deserved...
Pacey had told her he was all spent, but no he had one more thing to give
her... and that was Dawson Leery, Dawson was what she deserved and he wasn't
going to stand in the way.
Dawson finally pulled away from the
kiss and smiled at Joey, he opened his mouth to say something but then
Gretchen entered his mind, her words at senior prom hit him.
Look: I think I should explain...
-- Dawson, you don't need to explain.
And it doesn't matter anyway. I know what I have to do. I don't belong
here, Dawson. I need to go on with my life. Go back to college. Figure
out who I am, and what I want. This is not my place. Not here, and not
with you... you're still chasing after Joey. Literally, and metaphorically.
You told me to go to her? I thought
you understood about our friendship.
I do. And watching you chase her,
it became even more clear. Dawson -- there's so many loose ends there,
so much the two of you haven't resolved.
Dawson hadn't realized the true meaning
of Gretchen's words that night, but looking back at Joey right now, he
fully understood what Gretchen had been telling him, he finally understood.
"Now what mister Leery?"
Dawson smirked at Joey and pulled
her in for another kiss.
"We get the happy ending Joey."
