All Characters in this fic are property of Squaresoft, So uhm...don't sue me, please? Don't forget to R +R guys 'cuz I want to know what you think. Also, I need ideas for another fan fic so can you guys help me out? Thanks!
Cloud's Alter Ego
Cloud woke one Saturday morning only to find that he was in the main hall of the Gold Saucer. He thought to himself.
"How did I get here? What happened last night? Ugh.... I must've drank too much."
He sat up, sighed and put his head in his hands. He couldn't remember a thing. Everything was a blur to him. His long blonde bangs were covering his eyes and he looked like he had just crawled out of bed. He thought for a few minutes, then he remembered one thing.
"Sephiroth."
He couldn't remember why but he remembered that Sephiroth was with him the night before. He stood up, rubbing his chin. People walked by and looked at him strangely every once in a while but he just stood there in awe pondering why. Then he heard a faint ringing noise coming from his pants pocket. He remembered the PHS and picked it up, answering the call. A soft voice began to speak.
"Cloud? Where are you?"
He knew then that it was Tifa. He could tell from her voice. He loathed her, always trying to manipulate him. He knew she didn't really like him for who he was. He then replied in an agitated voice.
"Is it any of your business where I am?"
She was silent for a few moments and then spoke again.
"No. It's not really. But I worry about you. You know that right?"
He became even more aggravated then he already was and snapped at her for no apparent reason. (Probably needed a Midol ).
"You don't care if I'm okay or not! You just want to make sure I'm not with a girl don't you? I'm sick of this Tifa. I don't love you, and I'm not your husband. Leave me alone!"
She gasped and said nothing. A few seconds later she hung up, offended by the harsh way Cloud was talking to her. He didn't really mean to go off like that. He was just frustrated and was struggling to remember what had happened the night before. He looked about him to find that there were dozens of people staring at him because of his outburst. He narrowed his eyes at one in particular who looked exactly like Sephiroth except he wasn't wearing the black outfit.
"Alright. Show's over. Just get out of here and leave me alone."
The rest of them departed however the Sephiroth look alike stayed. Cloud started to become cautious wondering why he wasn't leaving. The look alike spoke in a voice exactly like Sephiroth's.
"Don't tell me you can't remember what happened last night Cloud."
He smirked and lifted up his left sleeve, revealing his tattoo, number one. Cloud was shocked. It couldn't be Sephiroth could it? He stuttered as he spoke.
"S... Sephiroth?"
The man then nodded and replied with sarcasm in his voice.
"How did you ever guess?"
Cloud sighed and tried to speak to Sephiroth calmly. He was more afraid of him now then he'd ever been. After all he had no idea what he had done Friday night.
"What happened last night?"
Sephiroth looked at him confused as if he was an innocent child asking his mother what impotence meant.
"How can you not remember? Boy you really were drunk. Now...the black materia. Hand it over. I gave it to you and I want it back."
He moved his fingers, motioning for Cloud to give the shiny black stone to him. Cloud then handed him the materia, almost hypnotized by his mako-green eyes. Cloud spoke once more.
"How did I end up with this?"
Sephiroth just smiled warmly.
"I'll leave that to your imagination"
He winked at Cloud.
"Oh God," Cloud thought to himself, "What on earth did I do last night?"
Sephiroth could sense what Cloud was thinking. He did want to freak him out a bit but now it was time to tell the truth.
"We didn't do anything like that you sicko," he chuckled, "How can you even think that? I just happened to be here last night and I saw you were drunk, so I played with your mind a little and told you to give the black materia to Tifa for a wedding present" He laughed ever harder. "I think you were really ready to propose!"
Cloud growled and his face turned red.
"I hate her! I would never!"
Sephiroth smirked like he always did when he was messing with people's minds.
"Or so you want yourself to think. Look I have to run, duty calls. Can't destroy the planet without finding the Promised Land, now can I?"
Then there was a puff of smoke and he disappeared.
Cloud sighed and shook his head, walking back to the station and taking the blue rail train out of the Gold Saucer.
* * *
The next day Cloud returned to his home at Costa Del Sol only to find that everyone was pointing their fingers at Red XII and scolding him. Cloud stopped at the door with a perplexed look on his face.
"What's going on?"
Everyone turned around to look at him. Then Cid spoke in his usual hostile manner.
"That f&#$%^ over grown cat ate Tifa!"
Cloud tried to hide his excitement. He cleared his throat and pointed a finger at Red, trying to hold back his smile.
"Bad Kitty!"
Red lowered his head.
"I am so ashamed. I just could not help it. She was so ...delicious looking. I could not control myself. I am sorry everyone."
Red burped and a piece of Tifa's skirt popped out of his mouth. The rest of the AVALANCHE members (except for Aerith. She's dead ...remember?) marched out of the room in disgust except Cloud who patted Red on the head and smiled.
Cloud left the villa, leaning on the balcony. His bangs were waving in front of his face, being blown by the wind. He began to think about Tifa, and Aerith. He didn't really believe that Tifa was gone. Knowing her, she'd probably come back from the dead and annoy him even more. Then he started to think about Sephiroth for some reason. He just popped into his head the way a turkey leg would when you're hungry. He thought about the day when Sephiroth killed his beloved mother. He growled in anger.
"Sephiroth!"
He clenched his fist. Suddenly a poof of smoke came up behind him and as Cloud turned around, he was confronted by Sephiroth. He was standing in a towel with wet hair and a sponge. He looked agitated at Cloud.
"What do you want?! I was in the shower!"
Cloud looked at him confused.
"You're not a genie, why did you come when I said your name? And isn't it supposed to be when I rub a lamp?"
Sephiroth looked confused.
"Oh wait... you're right...sorry."
Another poof and he was gone.
Cloud rolled his eyes.
"Idiot"
A voice could be heard coming from a distance.
"I heard that!"
Cloud chuckled. He couldn't help it. Even if Sephiroth was a pain in the ass he was still funny. He walked down to the beach and stared strait at Professor Hojo.
"What are YOU doing here?!"
Hojo lowered his glasses and looked Cloud strait in his blue mako eyes.
"Does it matter?"
"Yes. It does." Cloud replied.
"Well.... I'm sure you can see I'm on vacation. Can't a doctor get some R and R without nosey little spiky-headed punks like you bothering them? Hmm?"
Cloud backed off immediately. He knew that Hojo was Sephiroth's father. And he didn't want to mess with the father of Sephiroth. That's for sure. As he was walking out a mildly unattractive woman grabbed his arm. He turned to look at her and she smiled.
"Can you help me put on some suntan lotion sexy? Please?"
Cloud shook his head and smiled back.
"Sorry I'm busy right now. Get someone else to do it."
He pulled his arm away from her and started to walk back to his villa when suddenly he caught a glimpse of a teenager who was sitting on a rock by the ocean just watching the waves. Cloud couldn't help but stare at him. The teenager reminded him of himself when he was that age. He was wearing a black leather jacket with white fur on the top lining. A gunblade was strapped in the belt of his pants and his brown hair fell neatly on the sides of his face. Cloud walked up to him, sat next to him, and blurted out a question.
"Why do you look so familiar to me?"
The other turned his head toward Cloud showing no emotion.
"I'm not from around here so why would I look familiar?"
Cloud shrugged.
"If you're not from around here then where are you from?"
"Balamb Garden"
Cloud looked at him oddly.
"I've never even heard of Balamb Garden"
"I know you haven't. I think I'm from another time period. But I don't know how to get back."
Cloud couldn't believe what he was hearing, and he couldn't help but chuckle. This all seemed like some kind of bad science fiction movie to him.
"Yeah, ...sure you are. Anyway, ...what's your name, kid?"
He looked at Cloud and replied.
"My name is (Yep you guessed it. It's none other than...) Squall, Squall Leonhart."
Cloud gasped. He knew he had heard that name before. He suddenly got this strange feeling of Deja Vu (Yeah I know ...I can't spell that word). Squall looked at him.
"Are you alright?"
"Yeah I'm fine. I'm just wondering though. How'd you get here?"
Squall sighed and began his story.
"We were fighting a sorceress called Ultimecia when..."
Cloud interrupted him.
"We? Who's we?"
Squall gave Cloud an angry look.
"My friends and I, need I say more?"
Cloud shook his head. Squall continued.
"Anyway, once we defeated her, or at least I think we defeated her. I was put in a time warp. Suddenly I got knocked out by something, I don't know what, and when I came to I was here on this beach. So now I'm waiting for Rinoa. I keep thinking about her. I know she knows where I am"
"Is Rinoa your girlfriend?"
Squall nodded slowly.
"I see" Cloud said, lowering his head because he was unloved. Squall got up and looked down at Cloud.
"So that's my story. You wouldn't be able to help me by any chance would you?"
Cloud was surprised at how similar this boy was to himself. His gestures, his movements, his words, they were exactly the same. Cloud nodded.
"I might. I'll have to consult with AVALANCHE."
"AVALANCHE?" Squall looked confused.
"They're my friends. If there's anything we can do to help you, they'd know. I'm not too good when it comes to making plans and such."
Squall nodded and they both headed for Cloud's villa. As they were walking Cloud remembered something.
"By the way, I never told you my name. It's Cloud, Cloud Strife."
"Nice to meet you Cloud"
"Likewise"
* * *
It was night by the time the two returned to Cloud's villa. They had stopped to grab an ice cream on the way. When they walked in, Vincent and Red were in the middle of discussing the political issues of Midgar, Barret and Cid were arm wrestling, and Cait Sith was sitting in the corner of the room reading Game Fan Magazine. They all stopped what they were doing and just stared at Squall for a few moments. Everything was silent until Red finally got the nerve to ask.
"Who is this young fellow Cloud?"
Cloud smiled and brushed a few loose strands of hair out of his eyes.
"This is Squall Leonhart. He's from the future. Or so we think."
"But how did he get here?" Red continued with yet another question. And Cloud nodded to Squall, motioning for him to tell them what happened. Squall began his story once more.
* * *
About a half-hour later it was silent again as the group pondered how to help their newfound friend out. Just then there was another poof of black smoke and Sephiroth appeared once again.
"What's up?"
Cloud looked at him and narrowed his eyes.
"What do YOU want?"
Sephiroth laughed and shook his head then pointed a finger at Cloud
"I want you, ... silly"
Cloud gave him a frightened look. And Sephiroth laughed even harder.
"JOKING!"
"O...kay...."
Sephy looked at Squall and scratched his head.
"Who's this?"
"Squall Leonhart" Cloud replied.
"Huh? Where'd he come from?"
Cloud sighed and told him the story. Sephiroth looked confused.
"Interesting..."
"Yes isn't it?"
"Quite."
Squall rolled his eyes getting impatient.
"I'm going to bed. Got an extra room? If not, I can always go to a hotel."
Cloud pointed to a room in the far corner of his villa.
"You can sleep in Yuffie's room. There's an extra bed. That okay?"
Squall nodded.
"It's fine for tonight I guess."
Sephiroth folded his arms.
"What about me? You're just gunna make me sleep on the beach?"
Cloud sighed.
"Do what you want. I don't have time to deal with you."
"Fine be that way brat. I guess being an only child has spoiled you to death."
Cloud growled.
"Go to hell"
"Been there before and found it quite lovely. You should come with me sometime."
Sephy winked at him. Cloud clenched his fists and yelled.
"Get out of my house!"
"Fine, fine I'm going."
He disappeared in yet another poof of smoke.
* * *
That evening, when Yuffie returned home, she found Squall sleeping in her bed. "Oh My." She thought, licking her lips.
"Sexy"
She hopped into bed with him and he woke up in shock. Squall screamed.
"AHHHHHHHHH"
Yuffie jumped and fell off of the bed.
"Who the hell are you?" Squall screamed again.
"You should know you're in my bed."
Yuffie rubbed her head. "GAWD you scream loud."
Squall rolled his eyes like he always does and looked at her angrily.
"I asked and Cloud said I could have this room. Why don't you...whoever you are, go find some place else to sleep?"
"Fine! I'll go to the stupid crappy motel down the street. Goodbye!"
She stuck her tongue out at him and hopped out the window as if nothing ever happened, humming a little song to herself. Squall shook his head.
"What a freaking whack job."
Cloud walked in hearing the screams. He looked at Squall, his hair was a complete mess, and he looked like he was about to kill him.
"What's going on here?"
Squall started laughing, looking at Cloud's ridiculous hair. Cloud looked even more annoyed.
"Oh..." He tried to hold in another laugh, "...Nothing. Just some really perky girl who tried to molest me. You should really comb your hair."
Cloud rolled his eyes.
"Whatever just go to sleep."
He stormed off and Squall burst out laughing.
* * *
The next morning at the breakfast table Cloud gave Squall a dirty look.
"It's combed... happy now?"
Squall laughed. "Yes."
"But there's still one thing I don't understand Squall."
"What's that?"
"How did you get into that time warp anyway?"
"I don't know...I can't really remember anything."
Cloud nodded, and began to eat his bacon and eggs. He scarfed them down like a little piggy then burped really loudly.
"Scuse' me."
Squall wrinkled his nose in disgust.
"That's gross."
Sephiroth suddenly appeared behind Cloud and put his finger to his lips trying to tell Squall not to inform Cloud of his presence. Sephiroth tapped on Cloud's shoulder very lightly. Cloud jumped and spilled his orange juice all over his brand new SOLDIER outfit. Sephiroth laughed hysterically and so did Squall. Sephy managed to blurt something out in between the laughter.
"What an idiot!"
Squall nodded rapidly still laughing.
"I like this Sephiroth character Cloud."
Cloud snorted and muttered under his breath.
"Yeah you would."
Sephiroth gave Cloud a hard pat on the back, which made him fall over face first.
"Oh lighten up Cloudyboy."
Cloud had a big red mark on his nose now. He sat up and brushed his soaking wet shirt off. He sighed.
"So any ideas about what we should do with Squall, Sephiroth?
Seph shook his head.
"Not at the moment. Maybe you guys should go ask Hojo. He might know."
Cloud gave Sephiroth a skeptical look.
"I doubt it but whatever. I'll try it."
Squall looked at Cloud puzzled once again.
"Who's Hojo?"
Sephiroth growled slightly embarrassed at the thought of Hojo being his father but he acknowledged that he was anyway.
"He is my father. ...Unfortunately."
Squall nodded (not like he could do much else).
"And this father of yours. He knows how to get me back to the future where I belong?"
Sephiroth shrugged.
"He might. He's got a better chance than this dimwit does."
Seph jerked his head in Cloud's direction. Cloud sighed and lowered his head, letting his shoulders slump down.
* * *
After they'd finished eating their breakfast, the three of them took a nice little walk down to the beach. However, Hojo wasn't there. Sephiroth looked to his left then to his right.
"Hmm... He must be back by now I guess. Or else he'd still be here. Let's ask one of the girls."
Cloud walked over to a beautiful blonde in a bikini. He acted dopey again. He usually did around women like that.
"Uhm Excuse me," He fidgeted, feeling a bit uneasy, "Do you know where the professor went?"
The girl smiled, reaching a hand out to Cloud's face and playing with a lock of his hair.
"Oh you mean Sexy Mojo Hojo? Hehe... He's back at the lab. I miss him though. If you see him send him my love ...okay?"
Sephiroth rolled his eyes in disgust and Cloud started to stutter watching the woman play with his hair. He almost melted.
"Of... of course... A... anything for you."
She giggled and walked toward Sephiroth showing that she had no interest in Cloud anymore whatsoever. She put a hand on Sephiroth's shoulder.
"My you're looking mighty handsome today. Do you know the professor also?"
Sephiroth pushed her hand off of him and gave her an evil look.
"Yes he's my father. Cloud let's go."
Cloud nodded and they walked off. Cloud bumped into a poll because he was still staring at the girl and wasn't paying attention to what he was doing. Sephiroth looked down at him.
"You really are an idiot. Get up."
Little Chocobos started flying around Cloud's head.
"But mommy... I want to stay home and bake cookies with you!"
Sephiroth pimp slapped Cloud across the face.
"Get the hell up. And snap out of it."
Cloud shook his head and stood up with a big red hand mark on his face.
"I'm okay now."
Squall laughed "You two are hilarious!"
Cloud snorted and folded his arms, blowing a strand of golden hair out of his eyes.
"Okay, he's back at the lab right? So let's go! Enough fooling around."
Sephiroth covered his mouth with his hand quickly, trying to hold in a laugh. Cloud gave him an angry look.
"What is it now?"
Sephiroth burst out laughing and pointed toward Cloud's... erhm... behind. Cloud looked behind him to find a small crab clamping onto his butt. He pulled it off and threw it back into the ocean. His face was as red as a tomato from anger.
"Now can we PLEASE get going?!"
Seph and Squall nodded and they all started another journey toward Midgar. When they finally got there Squall almost threw up from the polluted air.
"I can't believe you actually lived here."
"Well, no one actually chooses to live here. They have no choice," Cloud replied.
They took the train to the ShinRa Tower. As they stepped off of the train Sephiroth looked up at the tower in disgust. He had so many bad memories.
"I can't believe this hell hole is still standing. Didn't I finish that fatso president off? And didn't weapon shoot Rufus? What the hell?"
Cloud shrugged.
"Don't ask me. It's a fan fic. Does it have to make sense?"
"I guess not."
Squall looked around and was brave enough to actually step inside the place. The other two followed, and were approached by two heavyset guards. The one that appeared to be stronger spoke first.
"Halt! Who goes there?! ... Heh... I always wanted to say that!"
Cloud smirked and looked the two over quickly. He then turned toward Sephiroth acting as if he never even saw them.
"Ya' know, I heard they're giving away free donuts on the 64th floor."
The guards looked at each other with excitement.
"Donuts?!?!?"
They bolted out of there like it was going out of style. Cloud continued on and Squall followed. Sephiroth was hesitant, so Cloud stopped and turned around.
"What's up Seph? Let's go!"
"I......I dun' wanna'."
Cloud smirked and replied in a mocking sort of tone.
"What's the matter? Bad memories? Sephy-boy can't take it?"
Seph growled but kept his cool so as not to upset any more guards. They finally reached Hojo's laboratory and they were surprised to find him looking at naked pictures of specimens.
"Oh yeah... That slimy tail turns me on!"
Sephiroth's mouth dropped.
"EWWWW! Oh my GOD! What ARE you doing?!"
Hojo jumped and quickly hid the pictures, turning around and putting on a fake sort of smile.
"N...nothing! I ...wasn't doing ...ANYTHING!"
Cloud slapped his forehead hard.
"Jesus, Mary, Joseph, and the Shepherds."
Sephiroth couldn't bare to stay in the room so he stomped out like a little girl throwing a temper tantrum. Squall tossed his hair back and stepped closer to the mad scientist.
"Professor. I have a dilemma."
Hojo looked at him with great interest knowing there was something different, yet familiar about this boy.
"What is it?"
Squall told him the whole story... AGAIN ... and Hojo just sat there rubbing his chin like the psycho he was.
"Very interesting. Maybe if we make some sort of.... No that wouldn't work. To tell you the truth, I'm stumped."
Squall let his shoulders slump and shook his head.
"Wonderful."
Sephiroth reentered the room and at that exact moment a black void appeared in the laboratory. Everyone was astonished but Hojo who seemed to not be surprised at all. The portal stopped spinning and dozens of obscenities could be heard from the other side. Squall tilted his head.
"That sounds like... Ultimecia."
Ultimecia finally popped out of the time portal.
"I got stuck!!! My butt is just too damn big! I swear I've got to lay off of those Chocobo Nuggets."
Her unhappiness showed as her face scrunched up. She then pulled herself together and looked at Squall.
"You should be in your own time mister!" She waved her finger "Bad boy! Bad!"
Squall looked back at Cloud and Seph.
"But ... I just made new friends. I can't leave now."
Ultimecia looked at the two then turned around and looked at Hojo. Two hearts sprouted in her eyes.
"Hey, ...You're kind of cute!"
Sephiroth's eyes bugged out.
"Hey!! That's my DAD you're talking about! He's not the least bit cute! He's ...old and smelly! O.o"
Ultimecia smirked and a light bulb popped above her head.
"I've got it!! You can stay here with these two. As long as I get to have this hunk of a doctor over here."
Hojo looked disgusted, and kept shaking his head rapidly at the trio. Cloud and Sephiroth looked at each other and laughed, both thinking it might be funny to torment the Professor some more. Cloud held out his hand to Ultimecia.
"It's a deal."
The portal closed and Cloud, Sephiroth and Squall all went back to the villa 'cuz they felt like it. Do they need a reason? Hehe. Anyway... A couple of days passed and Cloud heard a noise outside. He looked out the window and saw Ultimecia floating around and chasing Hojo around the villa. Hojo was screaming for his life.
"Get this psychopathic witch away from me! I can't take it! She's slimy and she talks in her sleep! .
Cloud's Alter Ego
Cloud woke one Saturday morning only to find that he was in the main hall of the Gold Saucer. He thought to himself.
"How did I get here? What happened last night? Ugh.... I must've drank too much."
He sat up, sighed and put his head in his hands. He couldn't remember a thing. Everything was a blur to him. His long blonde bangs were covering his eyes and he looked like he had just crawled out of bed. He thought for a few minutes, then he remembered one thing.
"Sephiroth."
He couldn't remember why but he remembered that Sephiroth was with him the night before. He stood up, rubbing his chin. People walked by and looked at him strangely every once in a while but he just stood there in awe pondering why. Then he heard a faint ringing noise coming from his pants pocket. He remembered the PHS and picked it up, answering the call. A soft voice began to speak.
"Cloud? Where are you?"
He knew then that it was Tifa. He could tell from her voice. He loathed her, always trying to manipulate him. He knew she didn't really like him for who he was. He then replied in an agitated voice.
"Is it any of your business where I am?"
She was silent for a few moments and then spoke again.
"No. It's not really. But I worry about you. You know that right?"
He became even more aggravated then he already was and snapped at her for no apparent reason. (Probably needed a Midol ).
"You don't care if I'm okay or not! You just want to make sure I'm not with a girl don't you? I'm sick of this Tifa. I don't love you, and I'm not your husband. Leave me alone!"
She gasped and said nothing. A few seconds later she hung up, offended by the harsh way Cloud was talking to her. He didn't really mean to go off like that. He was just frustrated and was struggling to remember what had happened the night before. He looked about him to find that there were dozens of people staring at him because of his outburst. He narrowed his eyes at one in particular who looked exactly like Sephiroth except he wasn't wearing the black outfit.
"Alright. Show's over. Just get out of here and leave me alone."
The rest of them departed however the Sephiroth look alike stayed. Cloud started to become cautious wondering why he wasn't leaving. The look alike spoke in a voice exactly like Sephiroth's.
"Don't tell me you can't remember what happened last night Cloud."
He smirked and lifted up his left sleeve, revealing his tattoo, number one. Cloud was shocked. It couldn't be Sephiroth could it? He stuttered as he spoke.
"S... Sephiroth?"
The man then nodded and replied with sarcasm in his voice.
"How did you ever guess?"
Cloud sighed and tried to speak to Sephiroth calmly. He was more afraid of him now then he'd ever been. After all he had no idea what he had done Friday night.
"What happened last night?"
Sephiroth looked at him confused as if he was an innocent child asking his mother what impotence meant.
"How can you not remember? Boy you really were drunk. Now...the black materia. Hand it over. I gave it to you and I want it back."
He moved his fingers, motioning for Cloud to give the shiny black stone to him. Cloud then handed him the materia, almost hypnotized by his mako-green eyes. Cloud spoke once more.
"How did I end up with this?"
Sephiroth just smiled warmly.
"I'll leave that to your imagination"
He winked at Cloud.
"Oh God," Cloud thought to himself, "What on earth did I do last night?"
Sephiroth could sense what Cloud was thinking. He did want to freak him out a bit but now it was time to tell the truth.
"We didn't do anything like that you sicko," he chuckled, "How can you even think that? I just happened to be here last night and I saw you were drunk, so I played with your mind a little and told you to give the black materia to Tifa for a wedding present" He laughed ever harder. "I think you were really ready to propose!"
Cloud growled and his face turned red.
"I hate her! I would never!"
Sephiroth smirked like he always did when he was messing with people's minds.
"Or so you want yourself to think. Look I have to run, duty calls. Can't destroy the planet without finding the Promised Land, now can I?"
Then there was a puff of smoke and he disappeared.
Cloud sighed and shook his head, walking back to the station and taking the blue rail train out of the Gold Saucer.
* * *
The next day Cloud returned to his home at Costa Del Sol only to find that everyone was pointing their fingers at Red XII and scolding him. Cloud stopped at the door with a perplexed look on his face.
"What's going on?"
Everyone turned around to look at him. Then Cid spoke in his usual hostile manner.
"That f&#$%^ over grown cat ate Tifa!"
Cloud tried to hide his excitement. He cleared his throat and pointed a finger at Red, trying to hold back his smile.
"Bad Kitty!"
Red lowered his head.
"I am so ashamed. I just could not help it. She was so ...delicious looking. I could not control myself. I am sorry everyone."
Red burped and a piece of Tifa's skirt popped out of his mouth. The rest of the AVALANCHE members (except for Aerith. She's dead ...remember?) marched out of the room in disgust except Cloud who patted Red on the head and smiled.
Cloud left the villa, leaning on the balcony. His bangs were waving in front of his face, being blown by the wind. He began to think about Tifa, and Aerith. He didn't really believe that Tifa was gone. Knowing her, she'd probably come back from the dead and annoy him even more. Then he started to think about Sephiroth for some reason. He just popped into his head the way a turkey leg would when you're hungry. He thought about the day when Sephiroth killed his beloved mother. He growled in anger.
"Sephiroth!"
He clenched his fist. Suddenly a poof of smoke came up behind him and as Cloud turned around, he was confronted by Sephiroth. He was standing in a towel with wet hair and a sponge. He looked agitated at Cloud.
"What do you want?! I was in the shower!"
Cloud looked at him confused.
"You're not a genie, why did you come when I said your name? And isn't it supposed to be when I rub a lamp?"
Sephiroth looked confused.
"Oh wait... you're right...sorry."
Another poof and he was gone.
Cloud rolled his eyes.
"Idiot"
A voice could be heard coming from a distance.
"I heard that!"
Cloud chuckled. He couldn't help it. Even if Sephiroth was a pain in the ass he was still funny. He walked down to the beach and stared strait at Professor Hojo.
"What are YOU doing here?!"
Hojo lowered his glasses and looked Cloud strait in his blue mako eyes.
"Does it matter?"
"Yes. It does." Cloud replied.
"Well.... I'm sure you can see I'm on vacation. Can't a doctor get some R and R without nosey little spiky-headed punks like you bothering them? Hmm?"
Cloud backed off immediately. He knew that Hojo was Sephiroth's father. And he didn't want to mess with the father of Sephiroth. That's for sure. As he was walking out a mildly unattractive woman grabbed his arm. He turned to look at her and she smiled.
"Can you help me put on some suntan lotion sexy? Please?"
Cloud shook his head and smiled back.
"Sorry I'm busy right now. Get someone else to do it."
He pulled his arm away from her and started to walk back to his villa when suddenly he caught a glimpse of a teenager who was sitting on a rock by the ocean just watching the waves. Cloud couldn't help but stare at him. The teenager reminded him of himself when he was that age. He was wearing a black leather jacket with white fur on the top lining. A gunblade was strapped in the belt of his pants and his brown hair fell neatly on the sides of his face. Cloud walked up to him, sat next to him, and blurted out a question.
"Why do you look so familiar to me?"
The other turned his head toward Cloud showing no emotion.
"I'm not from around here so why would I look familiar?"
Cloud shrugged.
"If you're not from around here then where are you from?"
"Balamb Garden"
Cloud looked at him oddly.
"I've never even heard of Balamb Garden"
"I know you haven't. I think I'm from another time period. But I don't know how to get back."
Cloud couldn't believe what he was hearing, and he couldn't help but chuckle. This all seemed like some kind of bad science fiction movie to him.
"Yeah, ...sure you are. Anyway, ...what's your name, kid?"
He looked at Cloud and replied.
"My name is (Yep you guessed it. It's none other than...) Squall, Squall Leonhart."
Cloud gasped. He knew he had heard that name before. He suddenly got this strange feeling of Deja Vu (Yeah I know ...I can't spell that word). Squall looked at him.
"Are you alright?"
"Yeah I'm fine. I'm just wondering though. How'd you get here?"
Squall sighed and began his story.
"We were fighting a sorceress called Ultimecia when..."
Cloud interrupted him.
"We? Who's we?"
Squall gave Cloud an angry look.
"My friends and I, need I say more?"
Cloud shook his head. Squall continued.
"Anyway, once we defeated her, or at least I think we defeated her. I was put in a time warp. Suddenly I got knocked out by something, I don't know what, and when I came to I was here on this beach. So now I'm waiting for Rinoa. I keep thinking about her. I know she knows where I am"
"Is Rinoa your girlfriend?"
Squall nodded slowly.
"I see" Cloud said, lowering his head because he was unloved. Squall got up and looked down at Cloud.
"So that's my story. You wouldn't be able to help me by any chance would you?"
Cloud was surprised at how similar this boy was to himself. His gestures, his movements, his words, they were exactly the same. Cloud nodded.
"I might. I'll have to consult with AVALANCHE."
"AVALANCHE?" Squall looked confused.
"They're my friends. If there's anything we can do to help you, they'd know. I'm not too good when it comes to making plans and such."
Squall nodded and they both headed for Cloud's villa. As they were walking Cloud remembered something.
"By the way, I never told you my name. It's Cloud, Cloud Strife."
"Nice to meet you Cloud"
"Likewise"
* * *
It was night by the time the two returned to Cloud's villa. They had stopped to grab an ice cream on the way. When they walked in, Vincent and Red were in the middle of discussing the political issues of Midgar, Barret and Cid were arm wrestling, and Cait Sith was sitting in the corner of the room reading Game Fan Magazine. They all stopped what they were doing and just stared at Squall for a few moments. Everything was silent until Red finally got the nerve to ask.
"Who is this young fellow Cloud?"
Cloud smiled and brushed a few loose strands of hair out of his eyes.
"This is Squall Leonhart. He's from the future. Or so we think."
"But how did he get here?" Red continued with yet another question. And Cloud nodded to Squall, motioning for him to tell them what happened. Squall began his story once more.
* * *
About a half-hour later it was silent again as the group pondered how to help their newfound friend out. Just then there was another poof of black smoke and Sephiroth appeared once again.
"What's up?"
Cloud looked at him and narrowed his eyes.
"What do YOU want?"
Sephiroth laughed and shook his head then pointed a finger at Cloud
"I want you, ... silly"
Cloud gave him a frightened look. And Sephiroth laughed even harder.
"JOKING!"
"O...kay...."
Sephy looked at Squall and scratched his head.
"Who's this?"
"Squall Leonhart" Cloud replied.
"Huh? Where'd he come from?"
Cloud sighed and told him the story. Sephiroth looked confused.
"Interesting..."
"Yes isn't it?"
"Quite."
Squall rolled his eyes getting impatient.
"I'm going to bed. Got an extra room? If not, I can always go to a hotel."
Cloud pointed to a room in the far corner of his villa.
"You can sleep in Yuffie's room. There's an extra bed. That okay?"
Squall nodded.
"It's fine for tonight I guess."
Sephiroth folded his arms.
"What about me? You're just gunna make me sleep on the beach?"
Cloud sighed.
"Do what you want. I don't have time to deal with you."
"Fine be that way brat. I guess being an only child has spoiled you to death."
Cloud growled.
"Go to hell"
"Been there before and found it quite lovely. You should come with me sometime."
Sephy winked at him. Cloud clenched his fists and yelled.
"Get out of my house!"
"Fine, fine I'm going."
He disappeared in yet another poof of smoke.
* * *
That evening, when Yuffie returned home, she found Squall sleeping in her bed. "Oh My." She thought, licking her lips.
"Sexy"
She hopped into bed with him and he woke up in shock. Squall screamed.
"AHHHHHHHHH"
Yuffie jumped and fell off of the bed.
"Who the hell are you?" Squall screamed again.
"You should know you're in my bed."
Yuffie rubbed her head. "GAWD you scream loud."
Squall rolled his eyes like he always does and looked at her angrily.
"I asked and Cloud said I could have this room. Why don't you...whoever you are, go find some place else to sleep?"
"Fine! I'll go to the stupid crappy motel down the street. Goodbye!"
She stuck her tongue out at him and hopped out the window as if nothing ever happened, humming a little song to herself. Squall shook his head.
"What a freaking whack job."
Cloud walked in hearing the screams. He looked at Squall, his hair was a complete mess, and he looked like he was about to kill him.
"What's going on here?"
Squall started laughing, looking at Cloud's ridiculous hair. Cloud looked even more annoyed.
"Oh..." He tried to hold in another laugh, "...Nothing. Just some really perky girl who tried to molest me. You should really comb your hair."
Cloud rolled his eyes.
"Whatever just go to sleep."
He stormed off and Squall burst out laughing.
* * *
The next morning at the breakfast table Cloud gave Squall a dirty look.
"It's combed... happy now?"
Squall laughed. "Yes."
"But there's still one thing I don't understand Squall."
"What's that?"
"How did you get into that time warp anyway?"
"I don't know...I can't really remember anything."
Cloud nodded, and began to eat his bacon and eggs. He scarfed them down like a little piggy then burped really loudly.
"Scuse' me."
Squall wrinkled his nose in disgust.
"That's gross."
Sephiroth suddenly appeared behind Cloud and put his finger to his lips trying to tell Squall not to inform Cloud of his presence. Sephiroth tapped on Cloud's shoulder very lightly. Cloud jumped and spilled his orange juice all over his brand new SOLDIER outfit. Sephiroth laughed hysterically and so did Squall. Sephy managed to blurt something out in between the laughter.
"What an idiot!"
Squall nodded rapidly still laughing.
"I like this Sephiroth character Cloud."
Cloud snorted and muttered under his breath.
"Yeah you would."
Sephiroth gave Cloud a hard pat on the back, which made him fall over face first.
"Oh lighten up Cloudyboy."
Cloud had a big red mark on his nose now. He sat up and brushed his soaking wet shirt off. He sighed.
"So any ideas about what we should do with Squall, Sephiroth?
Seph shook his head.
"Not at the moment. Maybe you guys should go ask Hojo. He might know."
Cloud gave Sephiroth a skeptical look.
"I doubt it but whatever. I'll try it."
Squall looked at Cloud puzzled once again.
"Who's Hojo?"
Sephiroth growled slightly embarrassed at the thought of Hojo being his father but he acknowledged that he was anyway.
"He is my father. ...Unfortunately."
Squall nodded (not like he could do much else).
"And this father of yours. He knows how to get me back to the future where I belong?"
Sephiroth shrugged.
"He might. He's got a better chance than this dimwit does."
Seph jerked his head in Cloud's direction. Cloud sighed and lowered his head, letting his shoulders slump down.
* * *
After they'd finished eating their breakfast, the three of them took a nice little walk down to the beach. However, Hojo wasn't there. Sephiroth looked to his left then to his right.
"Hmm... He must be back by now I guess. Or else he'd still be here. Let's ask one of the girls."
Cloud walked over to a beautiful blonde in a bikini. He acted dopey again. He usually did around women like that.
"Uhm Excuse me," He fidgeted, feeling a bit uneasy, "Do you know where the professor went?"
The girl smiled, reaching a hand out to Cloud's face and playing with a lock of his hair.
"Oh you mean Sexy Mojo Hojo? Hehe... He's back at the lab. I miss him though. If you see him send him my love ...okay?"
Sephiroth rolled his eyes in disgust and Cloud started to stutter watching the woman play with his hair. He almost melted.
"Of... of course... A... anything for you."
She giggled and walked toward Sephiroth showing that she had no interest in Cloud anymore whatsoever. She put a hand on Sephiroth's shoulder.
"My you're looking mighty handsome today. Do you know the professor also?"
Sephiroth pushed her hand off of him and gave her an evil look.
"Yes he's my father. Cloud let's go."
Cloud nodded and they walked off. Cloud bumped into a poll because he was still staring at the girl and wasn't paying attention to what he was doing. Sephiroth looked down at him.
"You really are an idiot. Get up."
Little Chocobos started flying around Cloud's head.
"But mommy... I want to stay home and bake cookies with you!"
Sephiroth pimp slapped Cloud across the face.
"Get the hell up. And snap out of it."
Cloud shook his head and stood up with a big red hand mark on his face.
"I'm okay now."
Squall laughed "You two are hilarious!"
Cloud snorted and folded his arms, blowing a strand of golden hair out of his eyes.
"Okay, he's back at the lab right? So let's go! Enough fooling around."
Sephiroth covered his mouth with his hand quickly, trying to hold in a laugh. Cloud gave him an angry look.
"What is it now?"
Sephiroth burst out laughing and pointed toward Cloud's... erhm... behind. Cloud looked behind him to find a small crab clamping onto his butt. He pulled it off and threw it back into the ocean. His face was as red as a tomato from anger.
"Now can we PLEASE get going?!"
Seph and Squall nodded and they all started another journey toward Midgar. When they finally got there Squall almost threw up from the polluted air.
"I can't believe you actually lived here."
"Well, no one actually chooses to live here. They have no choice," Cloud replied.
They took the train to the ShinRa Tower. As they stepped off of the train Sephiroth looked up at the tower in disgust. He had so many bad memories.
"I can't believe this hell hole is still standing. Didn't I finish that fatso president off? And didn't weapon shoot Rufus? What the hell?"
Cloud shrugged.
"Don't ask me. It's a fan fic. Does it have to make sense?"
"I guess not."
Squall looked around and was brave enough to actually step inside the place. The other two followed, and were approached by two heavyset guards. The one that appeared to be stronger spoke first.
"Halt! Who goes there?! ... Heh... I always wanted to say that!"
Cloud smirked and looked the two over quickly. He then turned toward Sephiroth acting as if he never even saw them.
"Ya' know, I heard they're giving away free donuts on the 64th floor."
The guards looked at each other with excitement.
"Donuts?!?!?"
They bolted out of there like it was going out of style. Cloud continued on and Squall followed. Sephiroth was hesitant, so Cloud stopped and turned around.
"What's up Seph? Let's go!"
"I......I dun' wanna'."
Cloud smirked and replied in a mocking sort of tone.
"What's the matter? Bad memories? Sephy-boy can't take it?"
Seph growled but kept his cool so as not to upset any more guards. They finally reached Hojo's laboratory and they were surprised to find him looking at naked pictures of specimens.
"Oh yeah... That slimy tail turns me on!"
Sephiroth's mouth dropped.
"EWWWW! Oh my GOD! What ARE you doing?!"
Hojo jumped and quickly hid the pictures, turning around and putting on a fake sort of smile.
"N...nothing! I ...wasn't doing ...ANYTHING!"
Cloud slapped his forehead hard.
"Jesus, Mary, Joseph, and the Shepherds."
Sephiroth couldn't bare to stay in the room so he stomped out like a little girl throwing a temper tantrum. Squall tossed his hair back and stepped closer to the mad scientist.
"Professor. I have a dilemma."
Hojo looked at him with great interest knowing there was something different, yet familiar about this boy.
"What is it?"
Squall told him the whole story... AGAIN ... and Hojo just sat there rubbing his chin like the psycho he was.
"Very interesting. Maybe if we make some sort of.... No that wouldn't work. To tell you the truth, I'm stumped."
Squall let his shoulders slump and shook his head.
"Wonderful."
Sephiroth reentered the room and at that exact moment a black void appeared in the laboratory. Everyone was astonished but Hojo who seemed to not be surprised at all. The portal stopped spinning and dozens of obscenities could be heard from the other side. Squall tilted his head.
"That sounds like... Ultimecia."
Ultimecia finally popped out of the time portal.
"I got stuck!!! My butt is just too damn big! I swear I've got to lay off of those Chocobo Nuggets."
Her unhappiness showed as her face scrunched up. She then pulled herself together and looked at Squall.
"You should be in your own time mister!" She waved her finger "Bad boy! Bad!"
Squall looked back at Cloud and Seph.
"But ... I just made new friends. I can't leave now."
Ultimecia looked at the two then turned around and looked at Hojo. Two hearts sprouted in her eyes.
"Hey, ...You're kind of cute!"
Sephiroth's eyes bugged out.
"Hey!! That's my DAD you're talking about! He's not the least bit cute! He's ...old and smelly! O.o"
Ultimecia smirked and a light bulb popped above her head.
"I've got it!! You can stay here with these two. As long as I get to have this hunk of a doctor over here."
Hojo looked disgusted, and kept shaking his head rapidly at the trio. Cloud and Sephiroth looked at each other and laughed, both thinking it might be funny to torment the Professor some more. Cloud held out his hand to Ultimecia.
"It's a deal."
The portal closed and Cloud, Sephiroth and Squall all went back to the villa 'cuz they felt like it. Do they need a reason? Hehe. Anyway... A couple of days passed and Cloud heard a noise outside. He looked out the window and saw Ultimecia floating around and chasing Hojo around the villa. Hojo was screaming for his life.
"Get this psychopathic witch away from me! I can't take it! She's slimy and she talks in her sleep! .