**DISCLAIMER**
NONE OF THE GUNDAM CHARACTERS BELONG TO ME OR ANY ONE I KNOW, BUT HOW DO I WISH THEY DID!! SO DON'T BUG ME IF I DO SOME THING WRONG CAUSE ITS BECAUSE OF GUNDAM THAT I HAVE A CORRUPTED MIND!! DON'T SUE ME CAUSE I DID SOMMIN WRONG EITHER
THANK YOU
KITTKATT~*
Plus I am very obsessive with Trowa. I have his picture all over my walls! ^. ^
Red- is when I the author is talking
Blue- when the story is going on
KittKatt~*
MEETING AGIAN
While waiting at the bud depot, waiting for my friend Julie, my mind went off into a far away land where every one respected each other and no fighting was going on. Then while dreaming a picture crossed my mind of a guy that I used to work with about 4 and a half years ago. I was fourteen then, now I'm seventeen turning 18 in a few months. This guy would be about 18 now. How I do miss him! He had the strangest hair in the whole factory, it was short in back and it grew very long in front. He always said he didn't use gel, I believed him while every one else didn't, he, once, thanked me while I was getting some hot coffee after work at a café down the road from my foster home.
"Girl, there you are!" I heard a voice say from behind me waking me up from my daydream.
"Julie girl! I've been waiting for you!" I called to her and picked up my luggage and ran to my black haired friend.
She threw her arms around me and hugged me until I coughed, she was choking me.
"Oh sorry Dee. I'm so sorry, are you hurt?" she said as I dropped my luggage on the floor.
"Julie, no need to apologize." I threw my arms around her and her arms went around my back and we rocked back and forth as we hugged, "Its so good to be back with you Julie! I was so glad when I got your letter with this idea!"
"I know," Julie exclaimed, "your going to have so much fun at the circus in these next few days!"
"Oh my gosh!" Remembering my strange obsession, "is there any hot guys working at the circus, that are single?" I laughed and giggled.
"Of course." She picked up my luggage and started walking towards her car. When we arrived at the car we hopped in and drove silently to her mobile home that she lives in while she's at the circus.
Getting out of the car Julie starts saying "there is this one guy that's single, that might like you, that you might like. I'll have to introduce you two after the show and see what will happen." And evil grim swept across her face.
"Is he a hunk?" I asked innocently?
"Hell yes! Very hunky, very mysterious, very tame, very deep. Even if I don't know him that well his sister said that I should get a quiet mysterious friend for him to meet. That's one reason I wanted you to come and visit me!" Julie said as she opened the door to her home and plopped my bags onto the floor near the couch.
"Very cozy," I said while sinking into her famous large purple fuzzy sofa.
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About twenty minutes after I put all of my clothing and belongings away and Julie made a bed for me Julie said, "hey there's twenty minutes till I have to go and get ready for the show, want to go and grab a bite to eat?"
"Yea sure I'm totally starved." I replied to her while rubbing my tummy.
"Aight! Lets go, even if it's a bit of a walk!" she said mournfully.
It was more than just a bit of a walk. We had to walk all across the fair grounds to the cafeteria. I was more than starved when I arrived there. When I looked around the giant blue room there was a man standing in the corner sipping at a cup of Java, I assumed. Some thing oddly about this guy reminded me of Nanashi, the boy whom I used to work with. When I got in the line with Julie I kept staring at this man until it hit me.......
"Julie who's that guy over there in the corner?" I asked her while pointing to him.
"That's Trowa he's always by him self unless his sister is with him." She said while not even looking at him. "Why, do you now him?"
"I dunno, its weird, like I've seen him some where before, talked to him before." I told her with the sound of awe in my voice.
Julie just mearly looked at me and said. "Dee some times you are strange but I know the feeling so I'm not the one to say any thing to you."
"Hey thanks" I said jokingly to her. "hmmm where next... what shall I have?"
Looking at the menu I thought of having macaroni & cheese and some apple juice and then some one cut in front of me, so I pushed him the back.
"What was that for?!" the guy said as he turned around, I saw it was Trowa.
"Well you cut in front of me! And I've been waiting here for like ten minutes," I could feel my self-going red. "What do you recommend Julie?" I asked her totally ignoring Trowa.
"I, personally like the steak and potatoes... you might like the fried clams and French fries." She told me.
"No that the worst." Trowa said to me. "Get the macaroni and cheese you'll like that"
"Umm OK... I was going to get that any way." I said with my self-going even redder, and with a slight trace of attitude.
"Unhn.." Trowa said as he walked away with soup and another cup of coffee.
"Hey, I think he likes you Deidre. That's the most he has talked to any body in like such a long time." Julie said and poked me while we walked to a table.
"Yea he totally digs me,,, Uh huh!" I said sarcastically back to her while picking up my macaroni and cheese and apple juice.
Poking me again, Julie said, "Err... Hehehehe!"
"What is it now Julie?"
"Its just well never mind, you'll find out later," Julie said to me as we sat down at the table and giggling some more.
After we had ate Julie told me she had to go to the changing tents to get ready so she gave me a circus pass and I walked to the bright blue and orange tent and took a seat near the center ring. I noticed when the tent was suddenly busy with noise and people walking around, the merchants selling plastic swards and little stuffed lions and elephants. Then all of a sudden the lights went out and the ringmaster came onto stage with a spotlight on him saying "Welcome to MY circus! I do hope that every one will enjoy their visit, I will give you my opinion that you'll have some chills and thrills, or both at once. Our first act is the, well why don't you find out for your self," he said as he walked off stage grinning. Horses, big wild horses came out with people riding on their backs doing stunts that no ordinary person could do. Then after that it was the magician followed by Julie's' act, the trapeze. A few more acts went by, which I totally ignored because I went back to my daydream.
I was sitting in the mobile suit that we were building, I was typing away at the mobile suits computer and detector system when I heard some screaming from down below, on the ground. "Nanashi bwa haha! You dumb bastard you don't even have a proper name. Come here so I can teach you a lesson cause I heard you where giving that young girl trouble again!" Then I heard a voice that was obviously going through, you know puberty, say, "No I HavEn't Done ANY thing TO her I would never! Get away from ME!" then I heard steps running away and some more steps and a SMACK! It echoed through the large hanger. I had jumped out of the cockpit and ran after them, Nanashi was still trying to get away from his tormentor, Jon. (I was out of names gomen)
I was a quicker runner than Jon was so I caught up with him easily and tackled him to the concrete floor, scraping my arm, side of my face, and hip open. "You dumb bitch don't make up lies about me! You know how much I hate it when you do that to me. What a brother you are! Dumb onna!"
Then I heard the sound of a gun being cocked and I turned around, Nanashi had it pointed at me, on his cheek bore a red hand mark. "This is my fight." He pulled me up and stepped on Jon's chest. Jon was wimpering "don't shoot me you would never, Dee would never let you, right Dee?" he looked at me with plea in his voice. I looked at him and shook my head, it wasn't my battle, and I hadn't started it I thought. "Get up before I change my mind, Jon." Nanashi spat at his face and walked away throwing the gun to the ground. I ran after him with blood running from my face down onto my green shirt. "Nanashi? I am so sorry about my brother, he is such a prick you know that." I told as I ran up after him. "It has nothing to do with you. And I know that he does that just to annoy me." Silent tears were running out of my eyes, he wiped one away and I said to him, " I feel so bad about it though. Why do people like that have to exist?" I paused and leaned on his shoulder now sobbing I stammered to say, "I hate him. I wish I had a nice brother who didn't torment other guys because of me!" Nanashi wiped another tear away from my eye and just said," he does it 'cause people say that I like you like you and have fantasies with you and all. But I don't!" I stopped crying and looked at him "Did I ever say you did? But if you want to know, I like you. It doesn't matter if you like me back cause that would be all right with me." Then the most vivid words I ever remembered of him saying were, "Well, I do like you," he smiled, the first ever smile I saw from him. It was beautiful. He tore off a bit of his shirt and started to wipe away my tears and some of the blood running down my face.
"Introducing Trowa and Catharine," some voice said as I woke up, the crowd was cheering like mad so I got up and yelled too. A woman wheeling a board with dents on it, set it up on one side of the middle ring. Then Trowa came out in big baggy green pants with white stars on them. He had yellow suspenders holding them up with no shirt. He wore a half clown mask that had a big red smile on the front; his other half was frowning, with a big blue eye with a crescent down the middle of the eye. He stood up bravely against the wooden board and Catharine pulled out seven long knives and pointed one strait at him. * Whack * the knife hit the board barely grazing his upper arm. * Whack* another one was thrown at him, almost hitting his upper leg. * Whack* *Whack * came two more knives the same places but on the other side of his body. * Whack * * Whack* two on both sides of his pelvis. His eyes the whole time stayed the same, something in that eye reminded me of Nanashi. Then the final whack, right over the top of his head. I noticed by the end of the scene I was clutching my seat with enormous strength. Trowa walked him self out of the wooden barrier and gave a dignified bow as Catharine did the same. She wheeled the wood out and that was the end of the act.
There were four more acts after Trowa's knife act. I didn't pay much attention to them either. I was thinking of that green fearless eye. Hollow with no feeling, staring out into the open world, just there looking at every thing, or nothing at all, I couldn't tell. When the show was over all of the acts came out and gave one last bow. Those eyes where still looking at me from where he stood balancing on a giant blue ball in the back of the ring. They gave me the creeps. But how did I miss Nanashi's eyes. Looking up to me from his post on the right arm. I closed my eyes and dreamed of those eyes again looking up at me or staring down on me, just looking at me.
When Julie came over to where I was seated she said, "Jeeze Deidre, I've never seen you with that look on your face. What's wrong, I think I need to know."
"Its those eyes!" I said to her as I wiped my bangs out of my face. "Its those eyes," I repeated to her, "Those eyes, I've seen those eyes before." I said to her while straining my mind not to give in to weakness. ' I'm the perfect warrior' I said to my self over and over, Julie never knew I was in military usage, and I was in no way going to tell her I was.
"You know what, he told me the same thing before he went on. You saw his act right?" she asked.
"Yes I saw his act, it was hollow, no emotion." I told her. But then adding, "Trowa told you he remembered my eyes?"
"Ya, but how could he? He never met you before." She said. Then Julie said, "Hey lets go and talk to him, he was the hunky guy I was talking about." She giggled at me and pulled me over the stands and dragged me over to him.
I put my head down from shyness. I heard Julie saying "Trowa, Trowa? TROWA!"
"Yea Julie?" He answered gruffly. This was way different from the squeaky voice that I remembered.
"This here is my friend Dee, Dee this is Trowa," Julie said as I looked up into his face and smiled. He looked at me and with his monontnis tone of voice he said, "I'm Trowa, nice to meet you." He stuck out his hand, which I shook. It was callused, the kind of calluses that mobile suit pilots can get. I missed the softness of his old hands, even if they where just as callused, these seemed that they came from war.
"Your eyes," I started to say, "they are so familiar." Then I laughed it off cause he couldn't be my Nanashi.
He looked in my eyes and cocked his head and lifted an eyebrow. Looking in my eyes he said, "Yours too, oddly familiar. Then again they might have came to me from a dream." He shook his head and let go of my hands.
I turned away from him too. A tear was rolling down my cheek. I ran to Julie's mobile home and plopping into the sofa she came running in after me.
She sat down next to me and wrapped her arms around my shoulders and said, "Deidre what is wrong what did he say? I don't like to see you cry, and you know that."
I gulped down some tears and started to tell her what I was thinking, "Trowa, you call him, is my Nanashi, and I'm his Dee. I knew his eyes where the same as Nanashi's. But he has grown up. He is strong while I am weak. I wanted to wrap my arms around him and hold him. I missed him so much over the years." I stopped there and tried to keep my tears in me.
"Maybe, Dee, you should sleep on it. Don't think about it until tomorrow. You'll see him again; you can be alone tomorrow I promise. I know what it feels like to meet some one from many years ago! It hurts so much cause you've both changed so much." She added.
Wiping my eyes I got up and hugged her and went off to my bed room and buried my head into my black pillow and cried and brawled my anger out into the bed until I couldn't move or breath any more.
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The next day I woke up before the sun rose all the way up from beneath the horizon. The clouds where pink, gold, yellow, a dark orange and red. I went to Julie's bathroom and took a short shower to wipe the dried tears off of my face praying that I wouldn't wake up Julie. When I was refreashed I walked back to my room in my dark blue towel that I brought along with me and got dressed in my favorite shirt, sweater, jeans, socks and shoes. I wanted to go and get a cup of coffee from the fire Julie said always had coffee brewing on it.
I walked up to it seeing a silhouette standing by the cage that held the lions. His hand was in the cage. I walked up with a mug I took from the cupboard and filled it with some Java and stood next to Trowa.
"Your up early," where the only words he greeted me with. We stood there in silent for a few moments then he said, "so we're meeting again?"
"Looks that way." I answered him. Then I took a sip of my coffee and added, "I missed you."
He turned and looked at me and just kept looking until I turned to look at him. "Why did.. I mean what possessed Jon to do some thing like that? I wish I had killed him now, but then I'd be weak." He told me with a slight quiver in his voice.
"So, you where trained to think that your weak too? I thought I was the only one at that base to be so,.. so... so weak." I told him.
"Dee don't cry. There are more of them out there. More who think they are meekly weaklings. I met them." He looked at me and swiped my tear from my eye like he did when he was younger.
"I missed you so much Nanashi. I missed you," I said as I dropped my cup onto the ground and threw my arms around him and held onto him for what seemed for mere seconds. Until he pried me off.
"I missed you too but I'm just not the same any more." He said as he looked in my eyes and saw them over flowing with tears he said, "I hurt you no not again. I can't hurt you again. I'm not going to let you go this time." Trowa told me as he cradled me in his arms. "Not again, I won't make this mistake again with you. I let you go once and you aren't getting away this time."
"Oh Nanashi," my eyes where over flowing with tears and splattering all down the front of my sweater. "The bitter taste of tears never suited me never liked them." I laughed it off and walked off back to Julie's mobile home.
"Where the hell where you?!" she asked me when I walked in the door.
"Talking to Trowa." I answered her curtly.
"This early in the morning?! Talking to Trowa?!" she asked me. Then there was a rapping noise at the door. "I'll get that," Julie said to me. As she walked into the room she was holding the mug and Trowa was following her. "We have a visitor, whom you might know."
I laughed at it and said 'thanks'. Julie walked out of the room closing the door and walked out of the home. "All alone," I said and looked at him.
"All alone," he repeated with a glazed look on his face.
I had to think up a good conversation topic, "What have you been doing for the past four years?" I asked him as he sat down next to me on the sofa, I curled into his chest and he put his arms around me. 'Just like the old days' I thought.
He talked to me in his monontnas voice. "Well after you and your brother left the Gundam pilot came to start training and he was three times worse than Jon. I missed you so much in the beginning. I didn't know what I would do if I never saw you again. He hadn't agreed with operation meteor, so he was shot right there in the hanger, right on Heavyarms' feet. I had seen everything that had happened to this boy, Trowa Barton. I hadn't a name so from that point on I was the Trowa Barton. But deep down inside I was still Nanashi. I was given the chance to pilot Heavyarms, I had readily accepted to do so because there was a part of you in it. I didn't want to be a weak one. Any one of the pilots in there would have beat me in the ground if they found out I had declined. My muse was you, you kept me going. But one day I had given up on finding you and I feel into dispare. My weakness drove me into the state of solitary confinement."
My mind was speechless. This story was unbelievable. "You became a gundam pilot, that's remarkable. There where more of them. It would be so cool to meet them all. But then again to be in the company of people that had killed many with no mercy, I wouldn't feel so safe, even if you where there. No offense to you Nanashi."
"Yeah I know the feeling. I am so surprised you are still here, resting on me. (Brain fart. Sweat drop! ^. ^' I'm listening to green day! : )) Well now that I'm here with you maybe my hands will be able to be washed. Heero, after he married Relena he felt so much prouder so much more homely. I'm so glad you are here with me. I don't know what I could have done if you had left me," he said into my ear.
'Now,' I thought ' we'll never be separated again. I don't want to go back home. He'll have to come with me.' "Nanashi," I whispered out into the world happily. I closed my eyes and smiled.
"I know," where the words that he said to the world as if he could read my mind. His arms tightened around me and I snuggled up closer. (Hmm... CUTE CUTE! Hehe!)
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"Your still here?" I heard Julie's voice say to us as I woke up.
I was still on the sofa next to Trowa, and Julie was smiling. I found out at what almost in an instant. (No she wasn't thinking that, PERVE!) Trowa's hand was on my inner thigh. I smiled and blushed. Trowa still asleep, I moved his hand off of me and prodded him awake. "Huhn?" he said and I smiled as he yawned and stretched. (I'll brb, need some food and water kk? 12 min 14 seconds later, IM BACK, AND BETER THAN EVER!! Pizza and sierra mist Mmm!)
"Trowa they are looking for you in the Tents. You where surpose to be there like 10 minutes ago! Its 11:00!" She told him and cracked up into giggles after.
"Its 11? Holy crap! We've been asleep for four hours? Dee I got to go but I promise you that I'll be back to see you!" He kissed my cheek got up and went out the door with a smile on his face. I looked out of the window until he was out of sight and sighed.
"What is, you him. WHAT AM I MISING HERE?!" Julie stammered to me looking confused.
"Trowa, like I said is my Nanashi. We have found each other again. We are so happy to be together, again." I sighed with relief and smiled as Julie came to sit down with me on her fuzzy purple sofa.
"But, how do you know each other. Trowa he is never like that with anyone! Please explain! I'm so confused!" she told me in an awed voice.
"Well if you where listening I don't know Trowa as Trowa, I know him as Nanashi. About five years ago we worked in a mobile suit manufacturing company. My brother, and the two of us, got drafted to a bigger manufacturer. Trowa working on movable parts, my brother doing paint, and me doing computers. Jon, my brother, always tormented Trowa because we are the same age, and I liked him. Secretly he liked me too. Next to working on the mobile suit I had to go to school with Trowa. We were the smartest ones of our grade and the only ones with paying jobs. We were tormented. Things where wrote on the bathroom stalls and rumors flying everywhere. After school I had to go to mobile suit training." I told he and paused to let it seep into her brain.
"But, how did I never know about this?" she asked kinda pissed off.
"I didn't want to hurt you. And there is more." I said without faltering. "After seventeen grueling months of training that stained my mind I was sent to work at the factory all afternoon, right after school till 8:00 at night. I sat in the cockpit of the mobile suit and connected the systems up until it was perfect. Now I didn't know that Trowa went through the same training till this morning so you can not tell a soul. During work we had became closer because I had yelled at my brother for tormenting him to the state of self-pity. One day he was about to shoot my brother and he didn't. I went up to him and said sorry about my brother and I cried on his shoulders and he told me he liked me. And from that day on I had always knew he was the one, the only one worthy for my heart. He had stolen it and took it, the same with me, I took his, and he knows it. Then one day my brother and I moved to earth to a military base and that's the part where I meet you. I hid all of my past from everybody that I met from that point on. But deep down I knew I would come across him once again and we'd be together again. I was living a lie when I left the factory. One big lie. But not anymore, I can finally be real." I said to her as I smiled an evil grin.
"Dee, I would have never known." Julie was in tears now. "Your love, your life, one big lie? But now, that you found your Nanashi you're whole again? I'm so glad you came again. I'm so happy for you and Trowa. Wait till Catherine hears. She'll be so happy for him and you!" she said and hugged me to death.
"Julie you can tell no one! Unless Trowa and I want it out," I said to her. Then getting all teary, "I'm so so very happy now." I had tears streaming down my face. (Jeeze so much crying! It's making me sad!)
After we had stopped crying we decided to make some sandwiches and walked out side munching on them. I saw a lady with bouncy chin length brown hair that was in black spandex and a loose yellow top running toward Julie and me. She was waving her arms to Julie and yelling. "Julie get you and your friend over here! I need to talk to you right now." She looked about 25 or 26. We picked up our pace and stopped right next to her. "Hey, I'm Cathy, Trowa's sister." She held her hand out and I shook it. "So you know Trowa from back when he was working in mobile suit production?" she asked me.
"Yes I do. And I'm so glad to meet him again." I told her.
"Well he is really happy to see you because when he walked in the tent for practice like and hour ago he was practically jumping for joy. He smiled at me, he never did that before." She paused and looked around. "Hey Trowa get out here!" Trowa walked out about a second later in boxer shorts that had little clown masks on them; I couldn't help to giggle. "Get some pants on you fool," Cathy said. So he walked back into the tent and when he came out he was in a pair of blue jeans. "That's better," she said. "So, are you going to introduce me to her Trowa? "
"How about I'm not going to introduce you to her because you have already and didn't let her say her own name."(I wrote this at 2 in the morning so don't yell at me! Oh yeah get ready for mushy stuff! ^. ^) Trowa said mockingly. So I pushed him out of my way and said "I'm Dee nice to meet you," and we shook hands again.
"Umm, why don't we all go to my tent and talk there." Cathy proposed. Not waiting for an answer she walked off to her tent in the lead with Julie. With them in front of us Trowa said to me, "Do you want to go to a party tomorrow at Quatres' house?"
"Well, who is Quatre?" I asked him.
"He's," his voice went lower, "Another Gundam pilot. The rest and their dates are going to be there too. Quatre is my favorite out of all of them."
"Uh, hmm, I guess I will go. But what about Julie? I mean I'm here to see her."
"Yea, I figured that out. We could bring her along. Quatre wouldn't mind, he does like her," Trowa told me.
I was so surprised! "They've met? Whoa!"
"Yea, I think they would be glad to see each other again, I think." He said to me as he pulled back the tents flap. Cathy and Julie where already there waiting for us.
"So, what do we need to talk about?" I asked Cathy.
"Well, it is about my little brother and you. Well Trowa maybe you should tell her." Cathy said while pulling out a kerchief and wiping one of her eyes. Julie just sat there looking confused, as usual.
"Well Dee, you know that one day where you cried on my shoulder and was saying sorry about your brothers behavior, and we told each other of out feelings, well from that day I knew that you where the one, and the only one. We are destined to be together. So I was wondering if well you would..." I didn't let him finish, "Oh, yes I will. You don't know how long I've been waiting for you to ask that over the years." I put my arms around him and kissed him sweetly, I figured that this quiet guy didn't get many kisses. (End of 2:00 writing. BRAIN FART! 3 ptgrimm songs later) But to my surprise this quiet guy did know how to kiss, very good too. Now this kiss wasn't like any kiss that I had ever had before. It was the longest, sweetest, just the best kiss I had ever had. Even better than my first kiss with him. It lasted for almost 2 minutes, I guessed. When we let go of each other's faces, Julie was looking at me all-wide eyed and Cathy was over flowing with tears.
"Holy crap Dee. Holy crap." Where the only words Julie could muster out of her mouth. I felt my self-going red. Julie got off of her seat and came up to me and wrapped her arms around me and hugged me, she jumped up and down in excitement.
"Okay, err, Julie would you mind if I asked you a question?" I asked her.
"Yea sure." She let go of me and looked at me.
"Well Trowa was going to bring me to a party at Quatre's house and we wanted to know if you would go with us?" I looked timid
She broke out in an all out smile and hugged me and said, "Hell yea! Master Quatre? Oh my gosh I love you guys!" She ran over to Trowa and gave him a big hug. He had the "err. What just happened" look on his face. Julie just kept on squealing, "I'm going to see Quatre! EI!"
I kept thinking 'oh no oh no. What have I done?' I went to go and sit next to Trowa. Julie kept bouncing around the tent. Cathy just looked really, really scared at Julie's behavior.
"Hey Julie do you think, maybe, we should leave these two alone for right now. They look like they need to talk." Cathy told Julie.
"Well, yea I guess so. So, we'll be around if you need us." Julie said to us as they walked out of the tent.
I leaned against he chest and his strong arms wound around me and his bangs went over my face as I felt his lips on my forehead.
NONE OF THE GUNDAM CHARACTERS BELONG TO ME OR ANY ONE I KNOW, BUT HOW DO I WISH THEY DID!! SO DON'T BUG ME IF I DO SOME THING WRONG CAUSE ITS BECAUSE OF GUNDAM THAT I HAVE A CORRUPTED MIND!! DON'T SUE ME CAUSE I DID SOMMIN WRONG EITHER
THANK YOU
KITTKATT~*
Plus I am very obsessive with Trowa. I have his picture all over my walls! ^. ^
Red- is when I the author is talking
Blue- when the story is going on
KittKatt~*
MEETING AGIAN
While waiting at the bud depot, waiting for my friend Julie, my mind went off into a far away land where every one respected each other and no fighting was going on. Then while dreaming a picture crossed my mind of a guy that I used to work with about 4 and a half years ago. I was fourteen then, now I'm seventeen turning 18 in a few months. This guy would be about 18 now. How I do miss him! He had the strangest hair in the whole factory, it was short in back and it grew very long in front. He always said he didn't use gel, I believed him while every one else didn't, he, once, thanked me while I was getting some hot coffee after work at a café down the road from my foster home.
"Girl, there you are!" I heard a voice say from behind me waking me up from my daydream.
"Julie girl! I've been waiting for you!" I called to her and picked up my luggage and ran to my black haired friend.
She threw her arms around me and hugged me until I coughed, she was choking me.
"Oh sorry Dee. I'm so sorry, are you hurt?" she said as I dropped my luggage on the floor.
"Julie, no need to apologize." I threw my arms around her and her arms went around my back and we rocked back and forth as we hugged, "Its so good to be back with you Julie! I was so glad when I got your letter with this idea!"
"I know," Julie exclaimed, "your going to have so much fun at the circus in these next few days!"
"Oh my gosh!" Remembering my strange obsession, "is there any hot guys working at the circus, that are single?" I laughed and giggled.
"Of course." She picked up my luggage and started walking towards her car. When we arrived at the car we hopped in and drove silently to her mobile home that she lives in while she's at the circus.
Getting out of the car Julie starts saying "there is this one guy that's single, that might like you, that you might like. I'll have to introduce you two after the show and see what will happen." And evil grim swept across her face.
"Is he a hunk?" I asked innocently?
"Hell yes! Very hunky, very mysterious, very tame, very deep. Even if I don't know him that well his sister said that I should get a quiet mysterious friend for him to meet. That's one reason I wanted you to come and visit me!" Julie said as she opened the door to her home and plopped my bags onto the floor near the couch.
"Very cozy," I said while sinking into her famous large purple fuzzy sofa.
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About twenty minutes after I put all of my clothing and belongings away and Julie made a bed for me Julie said, "hey there's twenty minutes till I have to go and get ready for the show, want to go and grab a bite to eat?"
"Yea sure I'm totally starved." I replied to her while rubbing my tummy.
"Aight! Lets go, even if it's a bit of a walk!" she said mournfully.
It was more than just a bit of a walk. We had to walk all across the fair grounds to the cafeteria. I was more than starved when I arrived there. When I looked around the giant blue room there was a man standing in the corner sipping at a cup of Java, I assumed. Some thing oddly about this guy reminded me of Nanashi, the boy whom I used to work with. When I got in the line with Julie I kept staring at this man until it hit me.......
"Julie who's that guy over there in the corner?" I asked her while pointing to him.
"That's Trowa he's always by him self unless his sister is with him." She said while not even looking at him. "Why, do you now him?"
"I dunno, its weird, like I've seen him some where before, talked to him before." I told her with the sound of awe in my voice.
Julie just mearly looked at me and said. "Dee some times you are strange but I know the feeling so I'm not the one to say any thing to you."
"Hey thanks" I said jokingly to her. "hmmm where next... what shall I have?"
Looking at the menu I thought of having macaroni & cheese and some apple juice and then some one cut in front of me, so I pushed him the back.
"What was that for?!" the guy said as he turned around, I saw it was Trowa.
"Well you cut in front of me! And I've been waiting here for like ten minutes," I could feel my self-going red. "What do you recommend Julie?" I asked her totally ignoring Trowa.
"I, personally like the steak and potatoes... you might like the fried clams and French fries." She told me.
"No that the worst." Trowa said to me. "Get the macaroni and cheese you'll like that"
"Umm OK... I was going to get that any way." I said with my self-going even redder, and with a slight trace of attitude.
"Unhn.." Trowa said as he walked away with soup and another cup of coffee.
"Hey, I think he likes you Deidre. That's the most he has talked to any body in like such a long time." Julie said and poked me while we walked to a table.
"Yea he totally digs me,,, Uh huh!" I said sarcastically back to her while picking up my macaroni and cheese and apple juice.
Poking me again, Julie said, "Err... Hehehehe!"
"What is it now Julie?"
"Its just well never mind, you'll find out later," Julie said to me as we sat down at the table and giggling some more.
After we had ate Julie told me she had to go to the changing tents to get ready so she gave me a circus pass and I walked to the bright blue and orange tent and took a seat near the center ring. I noticed when the tent was suddenly busy with noise and people walking around, the merchants selling plastic swards and little stuffed lions and elephants. Then all of a sudden the lights went out and the ringmaster came onto stage with a spotlight on him saying "Welcome to MY circus! I do hope that every one will enjoy their visit, I will give you my opinion that you'll have some chills and thrills, or both at once. Our first act is the, well why don't you find out for your self," he said as he walked off stage grinning. Horses, big wild horses came out with people riding on their backs doing stunts that no ordinary person could do. Then after that it was the magician followed by Julie's' act, the trapeze. A few more acts went by, which I totally ignored because I went back to my daydream.
I was sitting in the mobile suit that we were building, I was typing away at the mobile suits computer and detector system when I heard some screaming from down below, on the ground. "Nanashi bwa haha! You dumb bastard you don't even have a proper name. Come here so I can teach you a lesson cause I heard you where giving that young girl trouble again!" Then I heard a voice that was obviously going through, you know puberty, say, "No I HavEn't Done ANY thing TO her I would never! Get away from ME!" then I heard steps running away and some more steps and a SMACK! It echoed through the large hanger. I had jumped out of the cockpit and ran after them, Nanashi was still trying to get away from his tormentor, Jon. (I was out of names gomen)
I was a quicker runner than Jon was so I caught up with him easily and tackled him to the concrete floor, scraping my arm, side of my face, and hip open. "You dumb bitch don't make up lies about me! You know how much I hate it when you do that to me. What a brother you are! Dumb onna!"
Then I heard the sound of a gun being cocked and I turned around, Nanashi had it pointed at me, on his cheek bore a red hand mark. "This is my fight." He pulled me up and stepped on Jon's chest. Jon was wimpering "don't shoot me you would never, Dee would never let you, right Dee?" he looked at me with plea in his voice. I looked at him and shook my head, it wasn't my battle, and I hadn't started it I thought. "Get up before I change my mind, Jon." Nanashi spat at his face and walked away throwing the gun to the ground. I ran after him with blood running from my face down onto my green shirt. "Nanashi? I am so sorry about my brother, he is such a prick you know that." I told as I ran up after him. "It has nothing to do with you. And I know that he does that just to annoy me." Silent tears were running out of my eyes, he wiped one away and I said to him, " I feel so bad about it though. Why do people like that have to exist?" I paused and leaned on his shoulder now sobbing I stammered to say, "I hate him. I wish I had a nice brother who didn't torment other guys because of me!" Nanashi wiped another tear away from my eye and just said," he does it 'cause people say that I like you like you and have fantasies with you and all. But I don't!" I stopped crying and looked at him "Did I ever say you did? But if you want to know, I like you. It doesn't matter if you like me back cause that would be all right with me." Then the most vivid words I ever remembered of him saying were, "Well, I do like you," he smiled, the first ever smile I saw from him. It was beautiful. He tore off a bit of his shirt and started to wipe away my tears and some of the blood running down my face.
"Introducing Trowa and Catharine," some voice said as I woke up, the crowd was cheering like mad so I got up and yelled too. A woman wheeling a board with dents on it, set it up on one side of the middle ring. Then Trowa came out in big baggy green pants with white stars on them. He had yellow suspenders holding them up with no shirt. He wore a half clown mask that had a big red smile on the front; his other half was frowning, with a big blue eye with a crescent down the middle of the eye. He stood up bravely against the wooden board and Catharine pulled out seven long knives and pointed one strait at him. * Whack * the knife hit the board barely grazing his upper arm. * Whack* another one was thrown at him, almost hitting his upper leg. * Whack* *Whack * came two more knives the same places but on the other side of his body. * Whack * * Whack* two on both sides of his pelvis. His eyes the whole time stayed the same, something in that eye reminded me of Nanashi. Then the final whack, right over the top of his head. I noticed by the end of the scene I was clutching my seat with enormous strength. Trowa walked him self out of the wooden barrier and gave a dignified bow as Catharine did the same. She wheeled the wood out and that was the end of the act.
There were four more acts after Trowa's knife act. I didn't pay much attention to them either. I was thinking of that green fearless eye. Hollow with no feeling, staring out into the open world, just there looking at every thing, or nothing at all, I couldn't tell. When the show was over all of the acts came out and gave one last bow. Those eyes where still looking at me from where he stood balancing on a giant blue ball in the back of the ring. They gave me the creeps. But how did I miss Nanashi's eyes. Looking up to me from his post on the right arm. I closed my eyes and dreamed of those eyes again looking up at me or staring down on me, just looking at me.
When Julie came over to where I was seated she said, "Jeeze Deidre, I've never seen you with that look on your face. What's wrong, I think I need to know."
"Its those eyes!" I said to her as I wiped my bangs out of my face. "Its those eyes," I repeated to her, "Those eyes, I've seen those eyes before." I said to her while straining my mind not to give in to weakness. ' I'm the perfect warrior' I said to my self over and over, Julie never knew I was in military usage, and I was in no way going to tell her I was.
"You know what, he told me the same thing before he went on. You saw his act right?" she asked.
"Yes I saw his act, it was hollow, no emotion." I told her. But then adding, "Trowa told you he remembered my eyes?"
"Ya, but how could he? He never met you before." She said. Then Julie said, "Hey lets go and talk to him, he was the hunky guy I was talking about." She giggled at me and pulled me over the stands and dragged me over to him.
I put my head down from shyness. I heard Julie saying "Trowa, Trowa? TROWA!"
"Yea Julie?" He answered gruffly. This was way different from the squeaky voice that I remembered.
"This here is my friend Dee, Dee this is Trowa," Julie said as I looked up into his face and smiled. He looked at me and with his monontnis tone of voice he said, "I'm Trowa, nice to meet you." He stuck out his hand, which I shook. It was callused, the kind of calluses that mobile suit pilots can get. I missed the softness of his old hands, even if they where just as callused, these seemed that they came from war.
"Your eyes," I started to say, "they are so familiar." Then I laughed it off cause he couldn't be my Nanashi.
He looked in my eyes and cocked his head and lifted an eyebrow. Looking in my eyes he said, "Yours too, oddly familiar. Then again they might have came to me from a dream." He shook his head and let go of my hands.
I turned away from him too. A tear was rolling down my cheek. I ran to Julie's mobile home and plopping into the sofa she came running in after me.
She sat down next to me and wrapped her arms around my shoulders and said, "Deidre what is wrong what did he say? I don't like to see you cry, and you know that."
I gulped down some tears and started to tell her what I was thinking, "Trowa, you call him, is my Nanashi, and I'm his Dee. I knew his eyes where the same as Nanashi's. But he has grown up. He is strong while I am weak. I wanted to wrap my arms around him and hold him. I missed him so much over the years." I stopped there and tried to keep my tears in me.
"Maybe, Dee, you should sleep on it. Don't think about it until tomorrow. You'll see him again; you can be alone tomorrow I promise. I know what it feels like to meet some one from many years ago! It hurts so much cause you've both changed so much." She added.
Wiping my eyes I got up and hugged her and went off to my bed room and buried my head into my black pillow and cried and brawled my anger out into the bed until I couldn't move or breath any more.
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The next day I woke up before the sun rose all the way up from beneath the horizon. The clouds where pink, gold, yellow, a dark orange and red. I went to Julie's bathroom and took a short shower to wipe the dried tears off of my face praying that I wouldn't wake up Julie. When I was refreashed I walked back to my room in my dark blue towel that I brought along with me and got dressed in my favorite shirt, sweater, jeans, socks and shoes. I wanted to go and get a cup of coffee from the fire Julie said always had coffee brewing on it.
I walked up to it seeing a silhouette standing by the cage that held the lions. His hand was in the cage. I walked up with a mug I took from the cupboard and filled it with some Java and stood next to Trowa.
"Your up early," where the only words he greeted me with. We stood there in silent for a few moments then he said, "so we're meeting again?"
"Looks that way." I answered him. Then I took a sip of my coffee and added, "I missed you."
He turned and looked at me and just kept looking until I turned to look at him. "Why did.. I mean what possessed Jon to do some thing like that? I wish I had killed him now, but then I'd be weak." He told me with a slight quiver in his voice.
"So, you where trained to think that your weak too? I thought I was the only one at that base to be so,.. so... so weak." I told him.
"Dee don't cry. There are more of them out there. More who think they are meekly weaklings. I met them." He looked at me and swiped my tear from my eye like he did when he was younger.
"I missed you so much Nanashi. I missed you," I said as I dropped my cup onto the ground and threw my arms around him and held onto him for what seemed for mere seconds. Until he pried me off.
"I missed you too but I'm just not the same any more." He said as he looked in my eyes and saw them over flowing with tears he said, "I hurt you no not again. I can't hurt you again. I'm not going to let you go this time." Trowa told me as he cradled me in his arms. "Not again, I won't make this mistake again with you. I let you go once and you aren't getting away this time."
"Oh Nanashi," my eyes where over flowing with tears and splattering all down the front of my sweater. "The bitter taste of tears never suited me never liked them." I laughed it off and walked off back to Julie's mobile home.
"Where the hell where you?!" she asked me when I walked in the door.
"Talking to Trowa." I answered her curtly.
"This early in the morning?! Talking to Trowa?!" she asked me. Then there was a rapping noise at the door. "I'll get that," Julie said to me. As she walked into the room she was holding the mug and Trowa was following her. "We have a visitor, whom you might know."
I laughed at it and said 'thanks'. Julie walked out of the room closing the door and walked out of the home. "All alone," I said and looked at him.
"All alone," he repeated with a glazed look on his face.
I had to think up a good conversation topic, "What have you been doing for the past four years?" I asked him as he sat down next to me on the sofa, I curled into his chest and he put his arms around me. 'Just like the old days' I thought.
He talked to me in his monontnas voice. "Well after you and your brother left the Gundam pilot came to start training and he was three times worse than Jon. I missed you so much in the beginning. I didn't know what I would do if I never saw you again. He hadn't agreed with operation meteor, so he was shot right there in the hanger, right on Heavyarms' feet. I had seen everything that had happened to this boy, Trowa Barton. I hadn't a name so from that point on I was the Trowa Barton. But deep down inside I was still Nanashi. I was given the chance to pilot Heavyarms, I had readily accepted to do so because there was a part of you in it. I didn't want to be a weak one. Any one of the pilots in there would have beat me in the ground if they found out I had declined. My muse was you, you kept me going. But one day I had given up on finding you and I feel into dispare. My weakness drove me into the state of solitary confinement."
My mind was speechless. This story was unbelievable. "You became a gundam pilot, that's remarkable. There where more of them. It would be so cool to meet them all. But then again to be in the company of people that had killed many with no mercy, I wouldn't feel so safe, even if you where there. No offense to you Nanashi."
"Yeah I know the feeling. I am so surprised you are still here, resting on me. (Brain fart. Sweat drop! ^. ^' I'm listening to green day! : )) Well now that I'm here with you maybe my hands will be able to be washed. Heero, after he married Relena he felt so much prouder so much more homely. I'm so glad you are here with me. I don't know what I could have done if you had left me," he said into my ear.
'Now,' I thought ' we'll never be separated again. I don't want to go back home. He'll have to come with me.' "Nanashi," I whispered out into the world happily. I closed my eyes and smiled.
"I know," where the words that he said to the world as if he could read my mind. His arms tightened around me and I snuggled up closer. (Hmm... CUTE CUTE! Hehe!)
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"Your still here?" I heard Julie's voice say to us as I woke up.
I was still on the sofa next to Trowa, and Julie was smiling. I found out at what almost in an instant. (No she wasn't thinking that, PERVE!) Trowa's hand was on my inner thigh. I smiled and blushed. Trowa still asleep, I moved his hand off of me and prodded him awake. "Huhn?" he said and I smiled as he yawned and stretched. (I'll brb, need some food and water kk? 12 min 14 seconds later, IM BACK, AND BETER THAN EVER!! Pizza and sierra mist Mmm!)
"Trowa they are looking for you in the Tents. You where surpose to be there like 10 minutes ago! Its 11:00!" She told him and cracked up into giggles after.
"Its 11? Holy crap! We've been asleep for four hours? Dee I got to go but I promise you that I'll be back to see you!" He kissed my cheek got up and went out the door with a smile on his face. I looked out of the window until he was out of sight and sighed.
"What is, you him. WHAT AM I MISING HERE?!" Julie stammered to me looking confused.
"Trowa, like I said is my Nanashi. We have found each other again. We are so happy to be together, again." I sighed with relief and smiled as Julie came to sit down with me on her fuzzy purple sofa.
"But, how do you know each other. Trowa he is never like that with anyone! Please explain! I'm so confused!" she told me in an awed voice.
"Well if you where listening I don't know Trowa as Trowa, I know him as Nanashi. About five years ago we worked in a mobile suit manufacturing company. My brother, and the two of us, got drafted to a bigger manufacturer. Trowa working on movable parts, my brother doing paint, and me doing computers. Jon, my brother, always tormented Trowa because we are the same age, and I liked him. Secretly he liked me too. Next to working on the mobile suit I had to go to school with Trowa. We were the smartest ones of our grade and the only ones with paying jobs. We were tormented. Things where wrote on the bathroom stalls and rumors flying everywhere. After school I had to go to mobile suit training." I told he and paused to let it seep into her brain.
"But, how did I never know about this?" she asked kinda pissed off.
"I didn't want to hurt you. And there is more." I said without faltering. "After seventeen grueling months of training that stained my mind I was sent to work at the factory all afternoon, right after school till 8:00 at night. I sat in the cockpit of the mobile suit and connected the systems up until it was perfect. Now I didn't know that Trowa went through the same training till this morning so you can not tell a soul. During work we had became closer because I had yelled at my brother for tormenting him to the state of self-pity. One day he was about to shoot my brother and he didn't. I went up to him and said sorry about my brother and I cried on his shoulders and he told me he liked me. And from that day on I had always knew he was the one, the only one worthy for my heart. He had stolen it and took it, the same with me, I took his, and he knows it. Then one day my brother and I moved to earth to a military base and that's the part where I meet you. I hid all of my past from everybody that I met from that point on. But deep down I knew I would come across him once again and we'd be together again. I was living a lie when I left the factory. One big lie. But not anymore, I can finally be real." I said to her as I smiled an evil grin.
"Dee, I would have never known." Julie was in tears now. "Your love, your life, one big lie? But now, that you found your Nanashi you're whole again? I'm so glad you came again. I'm so happy for you and Trowa. Wait till Catherine hears. She'll be so happy for him and you!" she said and hugged me to death.
"Julie you can tell no one! Unless Trowa and I want it out," I said to her. Then getting all teary, "I'm so so very happy now." I had tears streaming down my face. (Jeeze so much crying! It's making me sad!)
After we had stopped crying we decided to make some sandwiches and walked out side munching on them. I saw a lady with bouncy chin length brown hair that was in black spandex and a loose yellow top running toward Julie and me. She was waving her arms to Julie and yelling. "Julie get you and your friend over here! I need to talk to you right now." She looked about 25 or 26. We picked up our pace and stopped right next to her. "Hey, I'm Cathy, Trowa's sister." She held her hand out and I shook it. "So you know Trowa from back when he was working in mobile suit production?" she asked me.
"Yes I do. And I'm so glad to meet him again." I told her.
"Well he is really happy to see you because when he walked in the tent for practice like and hour ago he was practically jumping for joy. He smiled at me, he never did that before." She paused and looked around. "Hey Trowa get out here!" Trowa walked out about a second later in boxer shorts that had little clown masks on them; I couldn't help to giggle. "Get some pants on you fool," Cathy said. So he walked back into the tent and when he came out he was in a pair of blue jeans. "That's better," she said. "So, are you going to introduce me to her Trowa? "
"How about I'm not going to introduce you to her because you have already and didn't let her say her own name."(I wrote this at 2 in the morning so don't yell at me! Oh yeah get ready for mushy stuff! ^. ^) Trowa said mockingly. So I pushed him out of my way and said "I'm Dee nice to meet you," and we shook hands again.
"Umm, why don't we all go to my tent and talk there." Cathy proposed. Not waiting for an answer she walked off to her tent in the lead with Julie. With them in front of us Trowa said to me, "Do you want to go to a party tomorrow at Quatres' house?"
"Well, who is Quatre?" I asked him.
"He's," his voice went lower, "Another Gundam pilot. The rest and their dates are going to be there too. Quatre is my favorite out of all of them."
"Uh, hmm, I guess I will go. But what about Julie? I mean I'm here to see her."
"Yea, I figured that out. We could bring her along. Quatre wouldn't mind, he does like her," Trowa told me.
I was so surprised! "They've met? Whoa!"
"Yea, I think they would be glad to see each other again, I think." He said to me as he pulled back the tents flap. Cathy and Julie where already there waiting for us.
"So, what do we need to talk about?" I asked Cathy.
"Well, it is about my little brother and you. Well Trowa maybe you should tell her." Cathy said while pulling out a kerchief and wiping one of her eyes. Julie just sat there looking confused, as usual.
"Well Dee, you know that one day where you cried on my shoulder and was saying sorry about your brothers behavior, and we told each other of out feelings, well from that day I knew that you where the one, and the only one. We are destined to be together. So I was wondering if well you would..." I didn't let him finish, "Oh, yes I will. You don't know how long I've been waiting for you to ask that over the years." I put my arms around him and kissed him sweetly, I figured that this quiet guy didn't get many kisses. (End of 2:00 writing. BRAIN FART! 3 ptgrimm songs later) But to my surprise this quiet guy did know how to kiss, very good too. Now this kiss wasn't like any kiss that I had ever had before. It was the longest, sweetest, just the best kiss I had ever had. Even better than my first kiss with him. It lasted for almost 2 minutes, I guessed. When we let go of each other's faces, Julie was looking at me all-wide eyed and Cathy was over flowing with tears.
"Holy crap Dee. Holy crap." Where the only words Julie could muster out of her mouth. I felt my self-going red. Julie got off of her seat and came up to me and wrapped her arms around me and hugged me, she jumped up and down in excitement.
"Okay, err, Julie would you mind if I asked you a question?" I asked her.
"Yea sure." She let go of me and looked at me.
"Well Trowa was going to bring me to a party at Quatre's house and we wanted to know if you would go with us?" I looked timid
She broke out in an all out smile and hugged me and said, "Hell yea! Master Quatre? Oh my gosh I love you guys!" She ran over to Trowa and gave him a big hug. He had the "err. What just happened" look on his face. Julie just kept on squealing, "I'm going to see Quatre! EI!"
I kept thinking 'oh no oh no. What have I done?' I went to go and sit next to Trowa. Julie kept bouncing around the tent. Cathy just looked really, really scared at Julie's behavior.
"Hey Julie do you think, maybe, we should leave these two alone for right now. They look like they need to talk." Cathy told Julie.
"Well, yea I guess so. So, we'll be around if you need us." Julie said to us as they walked out of the tent.
I leaned against he chest and his strong arms wound around me and his bangs went over my face as I felt his lips on my forehead.