(In the great hall)
Mia: Oh, he's so dreamy! He's good at everything.
Celina: Yeah, including cock-ups!
Mia: That was only once.
Celina: Here he comes now
Mia: That's Luke.
Luke: Hi guys.
Celina: I hear you made Harry a bored cube.
Mia: That sounds cool. Can I have one on my birthday Luke?
Luke: Yea.
(Enter everyone else except Voldemort)
Dumbledore: And now messages. Professor McGonnagall?
Prof. McG: First I would like to announce that it is Harry Potter's 15th birthday today. Secondly the monthly privileges:
Cathryn Ard, automatic curses
Luke Palmer, Point and Click method.
Dumbledore: Thank you, Professor McGonnagall, and now breakfast.
Beki: Luke, what's "point and click" when it's up and dressed?
Luke: it's when you point instead of using your wand.
Heather: What did you get that for?
Luke: I think it was for that time when I turned Draco Malfoy into Hermione and back again using my finger.
Herm: Yes that was impressive Luke.
Jenny: Get off me Mark!
Mark: Sorry.
(A green band surrounds Cathryn and she turns Mark into a frog and back)
Ron: That must be Cathryn's award setting in.
(Luke disappears in a cloud of purple smoke, then comes back followed by red sparks)
Luke: Let me see... (Points a finger at Harry)
Harry: (Slowly turning into a gnome) Aaaaaaaaaaah!
Harry: Right! Luke Palmer, I challenge you to a Wizard's duel. That means now. I choose Beki as my second.
Luke: Ah! I choose... Hermione.
- The duel -
Luke: OK, you can use your new non-Latin spells, and I'll use my finger sparks.
Harry: You go first.
Luke: (points a finger at harry)
Harry: Ha! Nothing! I expect you want me to go easy on you! Well I won't I w- I w- aaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
(Harry falls onto the floor cringing painfully crying "Aaah! The acid!")
Luke: That takes care of that!
Beki: Now I shall finish you off: (reading)
Stuarts wore boots
And Georgians wore wigs,
Turn this boy into a pig!
Luke: (sarcastically) Swish swish.
Beki: Can I try again?
Luke: No. Scolopendra Gigantea!
(Thousands of giant centipedes emerge from the ground)
Beki: Stones of flint,
Flames of fire
I summon the great mistress
Of splurge!
Heather: That was an anticlimax!
Beki: there's ink over the page!
Harry: Ooh! That hurt.
Beki: You said Harry could only use non-Latin spells, but you didn't agree that I would! Expelliarmus!
(Luke is blasted back and knocked out)
Herm: My turn. Avada Kedavra!
(Beki's nose starts bleeding and she falls over)
Heather: That's showing her, Hermy!
Herm: Don't call me that! Avada Kedavra!
(Heather's nose starts to bleed and she staggers back)
Herm: Luke! Luke! Wake up! We won. I knocked the tart out.
Luke: Woohoo! Ouch!
(Later in a potions lesson)
Snape: ...is gay.
Luke: Wouldn't it be funny if that phial fell on her head? (Points and clicks)
Snape: Ouch! Can anyone tell me what Morkweed's properties are?
Cathryn: Is it a globular plant?
Snape: No, you silly girl. 5 points from Hufflepuff. Palmer?
Luke: It's a plant.
Snape: How witty. 10 points to Slytherin.
Beki: That's not fair!
Snape: All right, then. 15 points to Slytherin.
Luke: (whispers to Mark) watch this. (Points at Beki and her hair stands on end)
Mark: Ha ha!
(At lunch in the Slytherin common room)
Luke: (Arrogantly) Excuse me, 3rd year, coming through.
James: Hey! Watch it!
Luke: Are you going to make me?
James: No. I was just saying.
Jake: Watch who you're pushing, Palmer!
Luke: Sorry, Champion!
Jake: That's Jake to you!
Luke and Mark: Oooooh!
Mark: He's just bitter because Hermione turned him down.
Luke: Yea, for James.
James (in corner with Hermione) *Inaudible whispers*
Herm: Come on. They'll think we've both gone to bed.
Part III in a few days!