A Disclaimer: These characters are the property of MTV, and the intellectual property of the creators of Daria. I appreciate their indulgence in letting me build a world around them. I am doing this for love, not money, so please do not get your panties in a twist about it. Thanks.
Diamonds and Rust
Ruthless Bunny
Daria sighed and rolled over. It was happening again. She had been dreaming about Trent. She didn't know whether it was a blessing, having him feel so close to her, or a curse, because of the disappointment of waking up alone. The sun was trying to poke through the gray clouds that hung over Berkeley. She closed her eyes and tried to recapture the feeling of having him in her arms. She was floating over her bed, in a bit of a fog when the phone rang.
There was noise in the background, but she could hear Trent's voice loud and clear. "Hello? Daria?"
"I'm here Trent. Where are you calling from?"
"Somewhere. A booth in the Midwest."
Daria laughed. "How long have you been waiting to use that line?"
"What line?"
She let it go. As she thought about it, Trent wasn't really a Joan Baez kind of guy. "Never mind, I was just thinking about you. Dreaming actually."
"You were dreaming about me?"
"Yes. I was. So how's the tour."
"Brutal, we're all sharing a room, these stadiums are all starting to blur, and we're still going on in daylight." Trent and Mystik Spiral were one of fifteen featured bands on the Alternapalooza tour.
"Well, I see that the album is up to 42 on the charts, that's encouraging." She knew he was depressed. He had been hacking away at his career. Against all odds, Mystik Spiral had a record deal, they were on a national tour with the top bands in the country and yet, Trent still felt that they weren't anywhere near where he wanted them to be.
"Yeah, I guess. Did Janey tell you that Reebok wants to use "Wheezing" for one of their ads?"
"No. That's great! That could really help boost sales."
Trent sighed. "Yeah, but how much of a sell out is that?"
"No more of a sell out than charging admission to one of your gigs, or asking people to buy your CD, or any other exchange of money for art. Besides, I can't wait to see how they use it to shill shoes." Daria smiled. It was success in increments, but it was success.
"Ah, Daria, I miss you so much. I hate this. When can you join us?"
Daria felt herself getting misty. She missed him too. "You know I can't until after finals. But I'll be there, waiting for you in Dallas. I promise. It's only three weeks away."
"Make the time go fast for me, huh?"
"Okay, but only if you make the time go fast for me."
Making time go fast is a strange concept. If you know that someone is destined to be doing something nasty or boring, such as an invasive medical procedure, you can help them out by having as much fun as possible, so that the time passes quickly. If it passes quickly for you, then it passes quickly for them, at least that's the theory.
"I love you." Trent tried to whisper into the phone, but he was loud enough to inspire a dozen or so other tour rats to start howling and making kissy noises.
"I love you, too. Take care." He hung up, and Daria cradled the receiver for just a few seconds before hanging up herself.
Daria continued to lounge in bed. She loved hearing from Trent, but it was also depressing. She was completing her junior year at Berkeley, and while she liked the school, and her studies, she often wondered what she had sacrificed to stay with Trent. It wasn't that she didn't want to be with him, but so many of her friends were paired up, in the same geographical area, that she wondered what it would be like to have a boyfriend right there, on tap. By staying with Trent, she was missing a huge part of University life. Daria pondered what it would have been like if she weren't with Trent. Who might she have dated? Her professor? She laughed at the memory of her pitiful high school daydreams. She thought about some of the guys she had met in the course of her studies. They were nice enough, in their ways, and if she had been available, perhaps she might have known them more than cursorily. But she wasn't available, she was with Trent. The biggest worry that Daria had was that she and Trent were still together, long after the expiration date on their relationship, because they never saw each other. What if they weren't supposed to be together through the years? What if, as time passed, they have been growing apart, but didn't realize it because when they were together, they were so focused on making up for lost time, that they were missing the signs that the relationship was ending?
Daria had taken an economics course as one of her pre-requisites. They had covered the concept of The Cost of Lost Opportunity. What opportunities had Daria passed up while waiting for Trent? What had it cost her? She hadn't dated a Frat Boy, never had her heart broken by the campus lothario, and she didn't go to Palm Springs for Spring Break. According to her friends, she hadn't missed much.
Somehow, the girls always ended up at her place. Daria had roomed with these girls in the dorms her freshmen year, and while she liked them, she really wasn't the communal living type. Amanda Lane had a friend who lived in Berkeley, running a pottery store out of her house. Lisa had a lovely studio apartment over the shop, which she rented to Daria. The apartment was light and airy. The girls were scattered on Daria's floor, in their PJ's, picking over an assortment of junk food, and drinking wine.
Kendra rearranged her long legs as she reached for another dolmas. "Daria, so when are we going to see Trent again, he hasn't been in this neck of the woods for… I don't know how long."
Daria sipped her wine and ate an olive off of her finger. "Tell me about it. They're on tour until October. Then they are back in Los Angeles, so I can go down for weekends again. Besides, is it Trent you're missing or Jesse?"
"Girl! You are bad." Kendra blushed. "But, I'll help you drive down the next time you go."
Theresa flipped her long black hair behind her, and snagged a slice of pizza. "That sounds like fun. I wish I had a man to visit somewhere. Shit, that bum Tommy's been gone over three months, and I haven't had even the notion of a prospect on the horizon. Sarah, does Carl have a friend he could introduce me to?"
"Carl? Oh, yeah, Carl. No, he's history. Did you know that he screams 'MOMMY' during sex? I mean, please! So he's off the list. I've got a nice one taking me out tomorrow night, his name is William, and he is divine!" Sarah was from Atlanta, and everything she said in that honeysuckle drawl sounded like butter on a biscuit.
"Right, they're all divine, until you discover that there is some little flaw, like he has fallen arches, or he doesn't understand double declining depreciation or some other piece of bullshit that lets you discard him like yesterdays tuna sandwich." Kendra said, shoving Sarah with her perfectly pedicured food.
"Well Sugar, how about I introduce you to Carl?" Sarah said to Theresa as she carefully removed the cheese from her pizza.
Theresa wrinkled up her nose in distaste. "No thanks. I think I'll pass. But if William knows someone…"
"See, no one want's a Mama's boy with an Oedipus Complex. It's not just me." Sarah stuck her tongue out at Kendra.
"Hey, don't give me any ideas here. It's been so long since I had a man that your tongue is looking good." The girls all squealed. "Hey, I'm just stating a fact here. As long as you've known me, have I ever had a boyfriend?"
Everyone was quiet for a moment, thinking about her statement. Theresa chimed in. "You intimidate men."
"Excuse me?" Kendra opened her eyes wide. "Intimidate?"
"Sure, you're really beautiful, and smart and funny. What does some guy have to offer you?"
"Damn, everything. Companionship, good times, the two for one Tuesday night special at Zachary's. A hot time in bed. What doesn't a man have to offer me?" She ticked the items off on her fingers.
"Hey, it's not all fun and games you know. You have to give something too. And if you're lucky, they aren't cheating on you with every puta with two legs, when you aren't looking." Theresa said, as the authority on boyfriends. She and Tommy had been together for three years.
"That's just one guy. Damn, when are you going to get over it?" Kendra had no patience with Theresa, they were roommates, and she had lived the Theresa and Tommy Drama for the past three years.
"I was in love with him. I wanted to have his children. He was such a good lover. Can you blame me for missing him?"
"Yes! He was a trifling, cheating, loser. You are lucky he didn't give you something to remember him by, if you catch my drift." Kendra gave her friend a friendly squeeze. "Honey, you are well out of that relationship. He didn't deserve you."
Theresa giggled. "Okay, so who here is up for a trip to Lourdes? All except Daria, she's got the only healthy, normal relationship in the room."
"Right, I'm the normal and healthy one. How sad is that? I only see my boyfriend in months that end in R and I'm the lucky one? Is it that bad out there?"
"YES!" The girls shouted back.
For the next three weeks Daria tried to make the time go fast. She attended lectures, studied, helped Lisa out in the pottery shop, wrote three term papers and an article for the campus newspaper. Trent would call her whenever he could, from his cellular phone, or from a pay phone when either lack of signal or a dead battery would necessitate it. Each time, their conversations grew more urgent. It had been nearly five months since they had last seen each other.
Finally, the day came and Daria found herself on a plane heading for Dallas. She was excited and frightened, she felt different than she had the last time they had met. The plane landed and taxied to the gate. She looked out of the window to see if she could see him through the plate glass window in the lounge area. All she saw was glare from the late afternoon sun. There was a blast of heat on the jetway, as Daria shouldered her bag and walked into the airport. Trent was waiting for her, he looked tired, but happy, and he was holding a small bouquet of daisies.
Daria dropped her bag to hug him properly. They clung to each other so tightly that they nearly melded into one person. Daria buried her face into his neck, inhaling his scent. Trent burrowed into her soft hair, his skin tingling with the familiar feeling of it. As passengers went past them, some commented on how sweet it was that they seemed to be so much in love. Little old ladies heaved sighs, remembering their own homecomings throughout the years.
At the hotel, Trent had managed to get a room to himself. Daria, although very happy to see him, felt awkward. She knew that he expected her to make love to him. It wasn't that she didn't want to, quite the contrary, but she felt that the spontaneity had drained out of their relationship. When they were dating, getting together was just part of the relationship, equal to going to a movie, or watching him perform or any other normal, daily activity. Now, when they were together the desperation they felt sometimes overpowered their love. She studied the king-sized bed. It had been turned down. Daria sat on the edge of the bed as Trent went around the room, picking up stray clothing and other personal effects. He arranged the flowers in a water glass by her side of the bed. He was clearly killing time until she was ready for him.
Daria resigned herself. She flopped backwards on the bed, her hair billowing out all over the spread, her arms spread out as though she were about to be crucified. "Ok Trent, lets do it."
He stopped puttering around the room. He looked at her on the bed and laughed. "I can see you're really into it. If you want, I can put a pillowcase over my head so you don't have to look at me." He sat next to her. "Come on, I know it's weird. But let's face it, we're weird people."
Daria sat up so that she could face him. Even in her ambivalence, she couldn't help but touch him. She took his long fingers into her hand. They were callused from playing, but she loved the strong, manly feel of them. "It's not you. I'm crazy about you. It's this situation. It's like we only get together to get together. I miss the regular stuff."
"Tell you what. After I prove to you how much I've missed you, how about I take out the trash and clean the bathtub." He smiled as he kissed her temple, then her nose, then her cheek, then her lips.
Daria closed her eyes and let his kisses take her to her own nirvana.
Jane studied her cheese fry. She held the fork up to the light, rotating it. "I think I've got the perfect cheese fry here. Check this out, the fry itself is the exact right length, it is the ideal golden brown color, and the cheese has melted in such a way as to accentuate the scrumptious nature of the fry. To dip this in gravy, chili or ketchup would be sacrilege." She bowed her head in admiration, and devoured the fry. Daria continued to push her food around on the plate. "Hey, don't be sad, while there are no more perfect fries, there are surely enough semi-perfect or quasi-perfect fries to satisfy your high standards."
"Huh?" Daria looked at her, she had not been paying attention to Jane's cheese fry dissertation. "Oh, sorry, I was thinking."
Jane gave her a puzzled look. She knew that Daria was out of school for the summer. Jane herself had dropped out in January, to manage the band. Jane had relished her new role, she liked being in charge, and she was good at it. She thought she might have missed school, but as it turned out, she didn't. "Hey, no thinking. You are on summer vacation, the only thing you're allowed to think about is sun screen. SPF 65 should help you keep your ghostly white complexion."
"What are you babbling about?" Daria glared at her friend.
"You know, the usual stuff. What's on your mind? You are clearly troubled about something. Come on, tell Janey." She wheedled, emphasizing her point with yet another perfect cheese fry.
Daria brooded for a second. "Okay, but you can't mention it to Trent." Jane nodded her agreement. "I'm just frustrated. It's really my own fault, I expect too much. But I'm having a hard time adjusting to…I don't even know what I'm trying to adjust to. Trent's work with the band, how that affects our relationship, not seeing him everyday, not having him in the same area code, this too much or never enough stuff. It's making me fidgety."
Jane digested her friend's words. Daria was usually coherent. She must be upset. "Is it life on the road?"
"Okay, that sucks too, add that to the list. The main thing is that Trent and I haven't ever had time to really settle in. We know we're crazy about each other, but is that enough? Jane, what if, after all this waiting and all this sacrifice, we aren't really right for each other?"
"Daria, you really need to figure out how to turn off your brain. Forget about what you think. What do you feel?" Jane said as she picked the nicer fries off of Daria's plate.
"What do I feel?" Daria stopped for a second. It flooded upon her, she loved Trent deeply. The feeling was so intense that tears came to her eyes. She became embarrassed. She never cried, it was completely uncharacteristic for her, but that's how powerful the emotion was to her.
Jane recognized that she had hit a nerve. "Okay, you don't have to say. But for you, right now, that's all that should matter. Daria, do you know how lucky you are? You've got a great relationship, with a wonderful guy. I'm not saying that because he's my brother, I'm saying that as a person who's had relationships with not so great guys. Nothing is guaranteed, you have to take the whole thing on faith."
Daria sighed, collecting herself. "Am I still allowed to think that this situation sucks?"
"Sure. It does suck. But it's temporary. You're graduating next year, you're coming down to live with me, you're getting a job, then it won't suck so bad. For now, take what you can get." Jane shrugged.
At that moment Trent walked into the coffee shop. "Hey guys, save anything for me?" He surveyed the table. "Don't you eat anything other than cheese fries? You can get scurvy or something." He stopped the waitress and ordered three large orange juices and a hamburger combo. Daria looked at her fries, they had congealed. She asked the waitress to bring her a salad. Trent smiled. "Great, you plan on keeping your teeth."
"No I plan on continuing to live." She said, pushing the offending plate away from her.
Jane got up. "Well, I'm all full of cheese fries, so I'm off to pack up my stuff. I'll see you guys on the bus."
Daria still looked depressed. "Hey, what's wrong?" Trent was nearly delirious with happiness at having her so close to him. Yet, as happy as he was, she seemed unhappy.
"It's me. It's my attitude. You see the glass as being half full. I'm seeing it as half empty. When we're together, all I can think about is how much I'll miss you when we're apart again."
"Sounds like you need an attitude adjustment." He smiled at her. "I've got just the thing for you. Let's finish lunch, and I'll show you."
"Come on Trent. It's got to be more than just sex." Daria hated to say "just" sex, it was like saying "just" champagne or "just" a sunset. Sex with Trent was a miracle, but she wondered if they were ever going to have more than passion.
"I know, that's just the tip of the iceberg. What about the rest, the part of my heart that's just for you? Come on Daria. Live in the moment. I know it pisses you off, but there is some stuff that is out of your control. What is it that you really want?"
"I want you around all the time. Not just vacations and Christmas." Daria surprised Trent with how emphatic she was.
"Okay, we have two options. I'll quit the band and come live with you. I'll get a job. We'll go straight. Or, you can transfer to UCLA and live in my house, or with Jane. That's always been an option." Trent hoped that she truly was ready, he wanted her to be around all the time too, but it had to be her decision, he didn't want to pressure her.
Daria shifted in her seat. The ball really was in her court. She had been calling the shots. They had been playing by her rules all along. "So you're calling my bluff."
"Someone has to keep you honest."
"Okay, I'll stop feeling sorry for myself, and for you. Are you happy Trent?" Daria searched his face, hoping to find her happiness reflected in his expression.
"Oh, yes." He answered truthfully. "What about you?"
"Getting there. I believe you wanted to show me something?" She gave him one of her rare smiles.
Three years had already passed, the last would pass as well, after all, they could each make the time go fast if they wanted to.