A lot of people wanted this...so...
REGIS:
Dear lord, how did they convince me to do this again?
STEPHANIE18:
I believe it was the bunnies.
[Regis shudders.]
REGIS:
Right. Anyway, last time we all saw Phoebe go home with $32,000. Who will be in the hot seat this time?
PIPER:
Whoever answers that fingery question thingy.
REGIS:
Yeah. For the fastest finger question....oh nevermind. None of you will get it anyway. Let's just see...who is first alphabetically? Oh yeah, like any of you would get that one. Miss Idiot over there didn't even know her own name. Piper, why don't you just come up.
[Piper is staring blankly at the ceiling.]
REGIS:
Don't make me carry you...
[Piper gets up and jumps into the hot seat.]
REGIS:
I know I've just made a mistake...anyway, Piper for $100, According to the song in the movie Mary Poppins, what helps the medicine go down? A: A spoonful of sugar - B: Drugs - C: Andy Dick - D: Cheese whiz.
PIPER:
Um...Andy Dick sounds right, but I did actually see the movie...I think...I dunno...it could be drugs too...oh what the heck, I'm going to go out on a limb and say...A.
REGIS:
That is correct. Now for the $200 question. If Leo is dead, does that make you a widow? A: No - B: Yes - C: Not sure - D: Ow, my head hurts.
PIPER:
D! D!
REGIS:
Yep. That's right. Is it just me or have we dumbed down the game?
[Regis sees an ear in the doorway.]
REGIS:
Ahhhhhhhh! Um...um...f-f-for $300 q-question. What are the names of your sisters? A: Bob and Joe - B: Prue and Phoebe - C: Ester and Emmy - D: Daphne and Velma.
[Piper looks at Phoebe who is in the audience.]
REGIS:
I wouldn't ask her if I were you. And your other sister has Bob issues.
PIPER:
Um...who knows? Come on. Alright, Regis I want to poll the audience.
REGIS:
Okay audience Piper here needs your help. Please pick up the data pad thing and choose one of the choices.
MAN FROM AUDIENCE:
Um...yeah. Do we get paid for this?
REGIS:
No.
MAN FROM AUDIENCE:
Pfffffft. Screw this then.
[Man jumps from his seat and leaves.]
REGIS:
Okay the results are in and the audience has chosen: Regis sucks. Okay, tht's not even a choice!
LEO:
B.
PIPER:
Oh well than that was unnessacary. I choose B.
REGIS:
Why do I go on? For the $500 question. Who was the first President of the United States? A: Puff the magic dragon - B: That girl from Bring It On - C: George Washington - D: La la la la.
PIPER:
Ha! You thought you would trick me! I know that the girl from Bring It On was the 89th President. So, C.
REGIS:
Correct. I just want to stop the game and ask if you're on any medication.
PIPER:
Nope. It's all me up here.
[Piper points to her nose.]
REGIS:
Yeah, okay. Now for the $1,000 question. A fact is what? A: Something that can be proven to be true - B: Another word that Phoebe doesn't know the meaning of - C: Something that happens when you sneeze - D: A cheese by-product.
PIPER:
I know it's a trick question. It is both A and B. But, for show sakes, I'm going to say A.
REGIS:
Yep. You got another one. Whoopee. That gives you $1,000, so let's move on to the $2,000 question. Who was Luke's daddy? A: The guy with the mask that talked funny from Star Wars - B: This is not an option - C: Do not pick this one - D: What B and C said.
PIPER:
Hmmm.....A?
REGIS:
Yeah. Anyway, for the $4,000 question. Which of these is the highest number? A: 4 - B: 6 - C: 72 - D: 1,000,000.
PIPER:
Sweet! An easy question!! D!
REGIS:
Er...yeah, sweet. Anyway, that's correct. Now for your $8,000 question. What state do The Simpsons live in? A: Kentucky - B: Mars - C: No one knows... - D: Florida.
PIPER:
I'm going to use my vast knowledge and say C.
REGIS:
I suppose that's right. Now for the $16,000 question. What color is your sister Prue's hair? A: Black - B: Orange - C: Brown - D: You don't know because she is not that important to you.
PIPER:
Okay, well. Let me see here. Black, no. Orange, no. Brown, no. Okay, I've elimanated all the wrong answers and now I m left with the right answer, D.
PRUE:
Hey!!
REGIS:
That is correct! Now moving on to the $32,000 question. What was the name of the musical group that featured John, Paul, George, and Ringo? A: The Prues - B: Limp Bizkit - C: The Beatles - D: The Chicken McNuggets.
PIPER:
Hmm...D sounds like it could be right. But then again, The Prues sounds like it could be okay, but I would like to phone a friend to be sure.
REGIS:
Okay, our friends at AT&T will...
PHOEBE:
Wait! You should really use 1-800-Collect.
REGIS:
Super. Piper, who would you like to call?
PIPER:
Hold on. I've got my own cellphone. It'll only take a minute.
[Piper takes out her cellphone and dials a number. Then a producer comes out and hands Regis a phone.]
PRODUCER:
It's for you.
REGIS:
Do I have to take it now? We're on the air.
PIPER:
Just take it!
REGIS:
Hello?
PIPER:
What's the answer??
[Regis throws the phone away.]
REGIS:
C.
PIPER:
Regis, I choose C.
REGIS:
Amazing. How on Earth did you get it right? Anyway, now it's time for the $64,000 question. What gum has the slogan Gotta Have Sweet? A: Wrigley's - B: Chuckie Cheese - C: Juicy Fruit - D: Lettuce.
PIPER:
I'm not a gum chewer myself. I don't know. Hmmm...let me think. Leo do you know?
LEO:
No, I don't pay much attention to the Juicy Fruit slogan.
PIPER:
Alright then. Regis, I think I'm just going to walk away with $32,000.
REGIS:
Alright. If you had to guess what would you say it was?
PIPER:
Probably D: Lettuce.
REGIS:
You would have been wrong, but you're walking away with $32,000 and that's alright.
PRUE:
No it's not! You get up there and you finish you wussie!
[Piper gets tears in her eyes.]
PIPER:
Nothing I do is ever good enough for you!
[Piper runs away crying.]
REGIS:
Okay. Anyway, join us next time for our regular players and...
STEPHANIE18:
Actually, they're going to be back next time too.
REGIS:
Noooooooooo!!!
[Regis runs away screaming.]
STEPHANIE18:
I wish he would stop doing that. Anyway, see you next time!
The End...for now.
REGIS:
Dear lord, how did they convince me to do this again?
STEPHANIE18:
I believe it was the bunnies.
[Regis shudders.]
REGIS:
Right. Anyway, last time we all saw Phoebe go home with $32,000. Who will be in the hot seat this time?
PIPER:
Whoever answers that fingery question thingy.
REGIS:
Yeah. For the fastest finger question....oh nevermind. None of you will get it anyway. Let's just see...who is first alphabetically? Oh yeah, like any of you would get that one. Miss Idiot over there didn't even know her own name. Piper, why don't you just come up.
[Piper is staring blankly at the ceiling.]
REGIS:
Don't make me carry you...
[Piper gets up and jumps into the hot seat.]
REGIS:
I know I've just made a mistake...anyway, Piper for $100, According to the song in the movie Mary Poppins, what helps the medicine go down? A: A spoonful of sugar - B: Drugs - C: Andy Dick - D: Cheese whiz.
PIPER:
Um...Andy Dick sounds right, but I did actually see the movie...I think...I dunno...it could be drugs too...oh what the heck, I'm going to go out on a limb and say...A.
REGIS:
That is correct. Now for the $200 question. If Leo is dead, does that make you a widow? A: No - B: Yes - C: Not sure - D: Ow, my head hurts.
PIPER:
D! D!
REGIS:
Yep. That's right. Is it just me or have we dumbed down the game?
[Regis sees an ear in the doorway.]
REGIS:
Ahhhhhhhh! Um...um...f-f-for $300 q-question. What are the names of your sisters? A: Bob and Joe - B: Prue and Phoebe - C: Ester and Emmy - D: Daphne and Velma.
[Piper looks at Phoebe who is in the audience.]
REGIS:
I wouldn't ask her if I were you. And your other sister has Bob issues.
PIPER:
Um...who knows? Come on. Alright, Regis I want to poll the audience.
REGIS:
Okay audience Piper here needs your help. Please pick up the data pad thing and choose one of the choices.
MAN FROM AUDIENCE:
Um...yeah. Do we get paid for this?
REGIS:
No.
MAN FROM AUDIENCE:
Pfffffft. Screw this then.
[Man jumps from his seat and leaves.]
REGIS:
Okay the results are in and the audience has chosen: Regis sucks. Okay, tht's not even a choice!
LEO:
B.
PIPER:
Oh well than that was unnessacary. I choose B.
REGIS:
Why do I go on? For the $500 question. Who was the first President of the United States? A: Puff the magic dragon - B: That girl from Bring It On - C: George Washington - D: La la la la.
PIPER:
Ha! You thought you would trick me! I know that the girl from Bring It On was the 89th President. So, C.
REGIS:
Correct. I just want to stop the game and ask if you're on any medication.
PIPER:
Nope. It's all me up here.
[Piper points to her nose.]
REGIS:
Yeah, okay. Now for the $1,000 question. A fact is what? A: Something that can be proven to be true - B: Another word that Phoebe doesn't know the meaning of - C: Something that happens when you sneeze - D: A cheese by-product.
PIPER:
I know it's a trick question. It is both A and B. But, for show sakes, I'm going to say A.
REGIS:
Yep. You got another one. Whoopee. That gives you $1,000, so let's move on to the $2,000 question. Who was Luke's daddy? A: The guy with the mask that talked funny from Star Wars - B: This is not an option - C: Do not pick this one - D: What B and C said.
PIPER:
Hmmm.....A?
REGIS:
Yeah. Anyway, for the $4,000 question. Which of these is the highest number? A: 4 - B: 6 - C: 72 - D: 1,000,000.
PIPER:
Sweet! An easy question!! D!
REGIS:
Er...yeah, sweet. Anyway, that's correct. Now for your $8,000 question. What state do The Simpsons live in? A: Kentucky - B: Mars - C: No one knows... - D: Florida.
PIPER:
I'm going to use my vast knowledge and say C.
REGIS:
I suppose that's right. Now for the $16,000 question. What color is your sister Prue's hair? A: Black - B: Orange - C: Brown - D: You don't know because she is not that important to you.
PIPER:
Okay, well. Let me see here. Black, no. Orange, no. Brown, no. Okay, I've elimanated all the wrong answers and now I m left with the right answer, D.
PRUE:
Hey!!
REGIS:
That is correct! Now moving on to the $32,000 question. What was the name of the musical group that featured John, Paul, George, and Ringo? A: The Prues - B: Limp Bizkit - C: The Beatles - D: The Chicken McNuggets.
PIPER:
Hmm...D sounds like it could be right. But then again, The Prues sounds like it could be okay, but I would like to phone a friend to be sure.
REGIS:
Okay, our friends at AT&T will...
PHOEBE:
Wait! You should really use 1-800-Collect.
REGIS:
Super. Piper, who would you like to call?
PIPER:
Hold on. I've got my own cellphone. It'll only take a minute.
[Piper takes out her cellphone and dials a number. Then a producer comes out and hands Regis a phone.]
PRODUCER:
It's for you.
REGIS:
Do I have to take it now? We're on the air.
PIPER:
Just take it!
REGIS:
Hello?
PIPER:
What's the answer??
[Regis throws the phone away.]
REGIS:
C.
PIPER:
Regis, I choose C.
REGIS:
Amazing. How on Earth did you get it right? Anyway, now it's time for the $64,000 question. What gum has the slogan Gotta Have Sweet? A: Wrigley's - B: Chuckie Cheese - C: Juicy Fruit - D: Lettuce.
PIPER:
I'm not a gum chewer myself. I don't know. Hmmm...let me think. Leo do you know?
LEO:
No, I don't pay much attention to the Juicy Fruit slogan.
PIPER:
Alright then. Regis, I think I'm just going to walk away with $32,000.
REGIS:
Alright. If you had to guess what would you say it was?
PIPER:
Probably D: Lettuce.
REGIS:
You would have been wrong, but you're walking away with $32,000 and that's alright.
PRUE:
No it's not! You get up there and you finish you wussie!
[Piper gets tears in her eyes.]
PIPER:
Nothing I do is ever good enough for you!
[Piper runs away crying.]
REGIS:
Okay. Anyway, join us next time for our regular players and...
STEPHANIE18:
Actually, they're going to be back next time too.
REGIS:
Noooooooooo!!!
[Regis runs away screaming.]
STEPHANIE18:
I wish he would stop doing that. Anyway, see you next time!
The End...for now.