Alright. You wanted it. It is done.
REGIS:
Hello everyone. I've been to my therapist and he gave me some special pills. Whenever I get angry or some other terrible emotion hits me, I just take one of this little pills and I'm super! Now, we've got the gee-gosh golly darn good people of Charmed here still, so let's just get to playing, shall we?
PRUE:
Yeah, ya know something Reg, I'm just gonna go sit in the hot seat.
REGIS:
Oh, but we haven't done the fastest finger question yet and...
[Prue jumps out of her seat and grabs Regis by the shirt collar.]
PRUE:
I said, it's my turn to play.
[Regis stares at Prue and then pops a pill into his mouth.]
REGIS:
Okay, okay. S-s-sit down.
[Prue and Regis are seated.]
PRUE:
Come on baby, Prue wants to win the million!
REGIS:
For $100. The term "in a jam" means what? A: You're faced with a problem - B: No one likes you - C: Your sisters think you're too controlling - D: You like you're toast jammed or nothing at all.
PRUE:
I know Piper and Phoebe might have been confused, but I thanks to the graces of myself, am a genius. I know for a fact that the answer is A.
REGIS:
Yeah.
[Prue glares at Regis and he takes another pill.]
REGIS:
I mean...Yay! That is correct! Now it's time for the $200 question! What was Superman's weakness? A: Cheese whiz - B: Kyrptonite - C: Your butt ugly face - D: Bad ties.
PRUE:
Pfffft. This game is so easy. I don't know why everyone complains. A of course.
REGIS:
No, I'm sorry, that is incorrect.
PRUE:
What??
[Prue starts to get angry and lifts Regis into the air with her bare hands.]
PRUE:
What do you mean it was wrong?? It's right to me!!
[Regis takes his whole bottle of pills.]
REGIS:
Y-y-you know, t-the j-j-judges just told me t-t-that it really was correct and you can move on. You won't hurt me now will you?
[Prue puts Regis down and smoothes her hair, then sits down.]
PRUE:
Hurt you? Why would I? I got that question correct.
REGIS:
R-r-right. Anyway, moving on to the $300 question. The U.S. Bureau of Engraving and Printing makes how many bills a day? A: 2 - B: 37 million - C: Phoebe - D: 1-800-Collect.
PRUE:
Why, my dear sweet Regis, the answer is of course B.
REGIS:
That is correct. Now for the $500 question. In the cartoon Ren and Stimpy, what kind of animal is Ren? A: A cat - B: A game show host - C: a dog - D: A manicurist.
PRUE:
Regis, Ren is a dog.
REGIS:
Right! For the $1,000 question. On the computer keyboard, what does ESC stand for? A: Eskimo - B: Escalator - C: Escape - D: Minnie Mouse.
PRUE:
Um...er...uh...
PHOEBE:
Use a lifeline!
PRUE:
Lifelines are for wussies and people who can't succeed! I've got to do it all on my own!
[Prue starts to cry.]
REGIS:
Prue, why do you feel this way?
*Flashback alert!*
REGIS:
Uh-oh...what have I done?
*Flashback* (Prue's voice...)
When I was seven, I was in school and we were playing the home version of some game show and I didn't know the answer, so I asked if I could get help and the teacher said no and that I should do it myself.
*End Flashback*
REGIS:
So, now you feel that you've got to do it all yourself? And push your sisters?
PRUE:
Uh-huh.
REGIS:
Prue, it's okay. Ask for a lifeline.
[The audience starts chanting 'Do it.' over and over.]
PRUE:
Regis, I want to use a lifeline!
[Everyone cheers.]
REGIS:
Alright. A 50/50? Okay. Computer take away two wrong answers and leave only one wrong answer and the right answer.
[Computer blows its nose.]
COMPUTER:
I-I-I was touched. I can't believe that someone could overcome such an event and be strong enough to pull through and...
[Regis unplugs the Computer.]
REGIS:
A or C?
PRUE:
C.
REGIS:
That's correct! Now for our $2,000 question. What is your final answer? A: Don't pick this one - B: Not this one either - C: Pick this one, sweetie - D: No! Not this one!
PRUE:
Um...C.
REGIS:
Yes, that's correct. I think we all feel the same way. We want to stop and just give you the million.
PRUE:
Awww, how...
PIPER:
That's crap!
PHOEBE:
Just because she has a flashback she gets the million!? You guys suck!
LEO:
She probably made that story up anyway! Regis, she's been playing you all for fools!
REGIS:
Well Prue, we don't all agree, so you'll have to play on. Can you be strong?
PRUE:
I think so.
COLE:
Oh, bullcrap!
REGIS:
Anyway, for the $4,000 question. What is a bear? A: An animal - B: The most common answer to the question 'what did this to you?' - C: A dairy product - D: A cleaning solution.
PRUE:
A. Yes, I am sure of it. The answer is A.
REGIS:
Yep. Now we move onto the $8,000 question. In the game Battleship, how many ships do you need to sink in order to win? A: 40 - B: 0 - C: 5 - D: Hell.
PRUE:
Oh dear...um...uh...can I use a lifeline?
REGIS:
Of course, I'm just happy that you can finally ask.
[Prue takes out her cellphone and dials a number.]
PRUE:
Leo isn't answering.
LEO:
I'm right here you moron!
REGIS:
Leo! She's been through a lot! Just give her the answer!
LEO:
B.
PRUE:
No, I don't trust him. C.
REGIS:
That's right! Now for the $16,000 quest...
PRUE:
Oh my gosh! It's almost 8'o clock! All my favorite shows are on! I'm just going to walk away with $8,000.
REGIS:
Um...okay. Well, I'll see you next time on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire!
[Show ends...]
REGIS:
So, who do we have booked for next week?
[A producer hands him a paper...then Regis reads it and runs away screaming.]
PRODUCER:
They're not back again next week are they?
STEPHANIE18:
No.
PRODUCER:
Bunnies?
STEPHANIE18:
Nope. *smiles evily* I got the cast of...Dawson's Creek!! Mwhahahaha!
[Everyone runs out of the studio screaming.]
STEPHANIE18:
I know...it might even be too evil. Goodnight everybody!
THE END...finally!
REGIS:
Hello everyone. I've been to my therapist and he gave me some special pills. Whenever I get angry or some other terrible emotion hits me, I just take one of this little pills and I'm super! Now, we've got the gee-gosh golly darn good people of Charmed here still, so let's just get to playing, shall we?
PRUE:
Yeah, ya know something Reg, I'm just gonna go sit in the hot seat.
REGIS:
Oh, but we haven't done the fastest finger question yet and...
[Prue jumps out of her seat and grabs Regis by the shirt collar.]
PRUE:
I said, it's my turn to play.
[Regis stares at Prue and then pops a pill into his mouth.]
REGIS:
Okay, okay. S-s-sit down.
[Prue and Regis are seated.]
PRUE:
Come on baby, Prue wants to win the million!
REGIS:
For $100. The term "in a jam" means what? A: You're faced with a problem - B: No one likes you - C: Your sisters think you're too controlling - D: You like you're toast jammed or nothing at all.
PRUE:
I know Piper and Phoebe might have been confused, but I thanks to the graces of myself, am a genius. I know for a fact that the answer is A.
REGIS:
Yeah.
[Prue glares at Regis and he takes another pill.]
REGIS:
I mean...Yay! That is correct! Now it's time for the $200 question! What was Superman's weakness? A: Cheese whiz - B: Kyrptonite - C: Your butt ugly face - D: Bad ties.
PRUE:
Pfffft. This game is so easy. I don't know why everyone complains. A of course.
REGIS:
No, I'm sorry, that is incorrect.
PRUE:
What??
[Prue starts to get angry and lifts Regis into the air with her bare hands.]
PRUE:
What do you mean it was wrong?? It's right to me!!
[Regis takes his whole bottle of pills.]
REGIS:
Y-y-you know, t-the j-j-judges just told me t-t-that it really was correct and you can move on. You won't hurt me now will you?
[Prue puts Regis down and smoothes her hair, then sits down.]
PRUE:
Hurt you? Why would I? I got that question correct.
REGIS:
R-r-right. Anyway, moving on to the $300 question. The U.S. Bureau of Engraving and Printing makes how many bills a day? A: 2 - B: 37 million - C: Phoebe - D: 1-800-Collect.
PRUE:
Why, my dear sweet Regis, the answer is of course B.
REGIS:
That is correct. Now for the $500 question. In the cartoon Ren and Stimpy, what kind of animal is Ren? A: A cat - B: A game show host - C: a dog - D: A manicurist.
PRUE:
Regis, Ren is a dog.
REGIS:
Right! For the $1,000 question. On the computer keyboard, what does ESC stand for? A: Eskimo - B: Escalator - C: Escape - D: Minnie Mouse.
PRUE:
Um...er...uh...
PHOEBE:
Use a lifeline!
PRUE:
Lifelines are for wussies and people who can't succeed! I've got to do it all on my own!
[Prue starts to cry.]
REGIS:
Prue, why do you feel this way?
*Flashback alert!*
REGIS:
Uh-oh...what have I done?
*Flashback* (Prue's voice...)
When I was seven, I was in school and we were playing the home version of some game show and I didn't know the answer, so I asked if I could get help and the teacher said no and that I should do it myself.
*End Flashback*
REGIS:
So, now you feel that you've got to do it all yourself? And push your sisters?
PRUE:
Uh-huh.
REGIS:
Prue, it's okay. Ask for a lifeline.
[The audience starts chanting 'Do it.' over and over.]
PRUE:
Regis, I want to use a lifeline!
[Everyone cheers.]
REGIS:
Alright. A 50/50? Okay. Computer take away two wrong answers and leave only one wrong answer and the right answer.
[Computer blows its nose.]
COMPUTER:
I-I-I was touched. I can't believe that someone could overcome such an event and be strong enough to pull through and...
[Regis unplugs the Computer.]
REGIS:
A or C?
PRUE:
C.
REGIS:
That's correct! Now for our $2,000 question. What is your final answer? A: Don't pick this one - B: Not this one either - C: Pick this one, sweetie - D: No! Not this one!
PRUE:
Um...C.
REGIS:
Yes, that's correct. I think we all feel the same way. We want to stop and just give you the million.
PRUE:
Awww, how...
PIPER:
That's crap!
PHOEBE:
Just because she has a flashback she gets the million!? You guys suck!
LEO:
She probably made that story up anyway! Regis, she's been playing you all for fools!
REGIS:
Well Prue, we don't all agree, so you'll have to play on. Can you be strong?
PRUE:
I think so.
COLE:
Oh, bullcrap!
REGIS:
Anyway, for the $4,000 question. What is a bear? A: An animal - B: The most common answer to the question 'what did this to you?' - C: A dairy product - D: A cleaning solution.
PRUE:
A. Yes, I am sure of it. The answer is A.
REGIS:
Yep. Now we move onto the $8,000 question. In the game Battleship, how many ships do you need to sink in order to win? A: 40 - B: 0 - C: 5 - D: Hell.
PRUE:
Oh dear...um...uh...can I use a lifeline?
REGIS:
Of course, I'm just happy that you can finally ask.
[Prue takes out her cellphone and dials a number.]
PRUE:
Leo isn't answering.
LEO:
I'm right here you moron!
REGIS:
Leo! She's been through a lot! Just give her the answer!
LEO:
B.
PRUE:
No, I don't trust him. C.
REGIS:
That's right! Now for the $16,000 quest...
PRUE:
Oh my gosh! It's almost 8'o clock! All my favorite shows are on! I'm just going to walk away with $8,000.
REGIS:
Um...okay. Well, I'll see you next time on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire!
[Show ends...]
REGIS:
So, who do we have booked for next week?
[A producer hands him a paper...then Regis reads it and runs away screaming.]
PRODUCER:
They're not back again next week are they?
STEPHANIE18:
No.
PRODUCER:
Bunnies?
STEPHANIE18:
Nope. *smiles evily* I got the cast of...Dawson's Creek!! Mwhahahaha!
[Everyone runs out of the studio screaming.]
STEPHANIE18:
I know...it might even be too evil. Goodnight everybody!
THE END...finally!