Authors notes: Chapter 5 just as promised (yet 2 days late.) It has the tale of Sir Julian! Read it! Funny stuff!
Monty Picard and the Holy Dilithium Crystal
Chapter 5
Written By: Q
SISKO: Defeat at the castle seemed to have utterly disheartened good Captain Picard. The ferocity of the Russian taunting took him completely by surprise, and Picard became convinced that a new strategy was required if the quest for the Holy Dilithium Crystal were to be brought to a successful conclusion. Picard, after having consulted his closest Officers, decided that they should seperate and search for the crystal individually. Now this is what they did; Launcelot--
(Suddenly a bright beam consumes Sisko as he is mysteriously beamed out of the scene.)
UHURA: (Runs into the scene.) Sisko!
THE TALE OF SIR JULIAN
Q: So each of the knights went their seperate ways. Sir Julian rode north through the deep dark vast Borg ship accompanied by his favorite mistrals.
DATA: (Music starts up and he starts singing)
Bravely, bold Sir Julian rode forth from enterprise.
He was not afraid to die, O brave Sir Julian.
He was not at all afraid to be assimilated.
Brave, brave, brave, brave sir Julian!
He was not in the least bit scared to die of increasing age
Or to catch a nasty cold the flu and chicken pox
To die of an extemely deadly bad viral disease
And to get caught by the borg brave Sir Julian
Wires through his arms
And wires through his head
And His flesh untended
and left for dead
and a laser inserted
and his mind controlled
and his eyeball-
JULIAN: That's--that's, uh, that's enough music for now Data. It looks like there's dirty work afoot.
WESLEY: But the academy system is a way of preserving freedom.
DATA: (Whispering) Wesley forget about freedom, your in the wrong scene.
(As knights press onward in the Borg ship they suddenly encounter the vicious three headed assimilated monster. The left head is Locutus, the right head is Kirk and the left head is the Holo Doc.)
THREE HEADED MONSTER: Halt! Who are you?
DATA: (Singing) He is brave Sir Julian, brave Sir Julian, who...
JULIAN: Shut up! Um, n-n-nobody just another borg.
THREE HEADED MONSTER: What is your purpose here?
DATA: (Singing) To fight! And-
JULIAN: Um, oo, n-nothing really. Just to pass through good Sir Borg.
THREE HEADED MONSTER: You are not one of us.
JULIAN: Well, I must say I-um...
THREE HEADED MONSTER: We are borg. You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile.
JULIAN: Well I am an officer from the Enterprise.
THREE HEADED MOSTER: Your a officer of the Enterprise?
JULIAN: I am.
LOCUTUS: In that case we shall have to destroy you.
HOLOGRAHIC DOCTOR: Shall we?
KIRK: Oh, we don't think so.
HOLOGRAPHIC DOCTOR: Well, what do we think
LOCUTUS: We think kill him.
KIRK: Well let's lock him up for a bit and take an extremely long time for some elaborate purpose before we assimilate him.
HOLOGRAPHIC DOCTOR: Oh shut up.
LOCUTUS: Perhaps-
HOLOGRAPHIC: You too.
LOCUTUS: Oh quick get the bomb and let's blow him up.
(Julian and his men watch this argument in fascination and fear.)
KIRK: Oh, blow ourself up.
HOLOGRAPHIC DOCTOR: Yes do us all a favor.
LOCUTUS: What?
KIRK: Yapping on all the time!
HOLOGRAPHIC DOCTOR: You're lucky you're not next to us!
LOCUTUS: What do you mean?
HOLOGRAPHIC DOCTOR: You're flashy laser thing always gets in our (Locutus turns to look at him.) ahhh! Eyes!
JULIAN: (Taps his communicator) Seven to beam up. (The team disappears.)
LOCUTUS: Oh no it doesn't! Anyway you constantly malfunction.
HOLOGRAPHIC DOCTOR: Well it's only because you always mess with our
projecter parts!
KIRK: Oh stop arguing and let's go destroy some starships!
LOCUTUS: Alright, alright, we'll assimilate him first and then destroy starships and then recharge.
HOLOGRAPHIC DOCTOR: Yes.
KIRK: Oh, but not recharge.
LOCUTUS: Alright, alright, we won't recharge but let's assimilate him anyway!
THREE HEADED MONSTER: Right!
LOCUTUS: He buggered off.
KIRK: So he has, he's scarpered.
(Scene changes to where Julian is.)
DATA: (Singing) Brave Sir Julian ran away.
JULIAN: No!
DATA: Bravely ran away away!
JULIAN: I didn't!
DATA: When danger shows and says, "What's up?"
He tells our ship to "Beam us up."
JULIAN: No!
DATA: When danger will not disappear,
JULIAN: I don't!
DATA: He seeks help from our engineer!
Bravely landing on our floors!
JULIAN: I never did!
DATA: He flys through many corridors.
JULIAN: Oh lie!
DATA: Bravest of the brave Sir Julian!
JULIAN: I never!
Authors notes: Chapter 5 just as promised (yet 2 days late.) It has the tale of Sir Julian! Read it! Funny stuff!
Monty Picard and the Holy Dilithium Crystal
Chapter 5
Written By: Q
SISKO: Defeat at the castle seemed to have utterly disheartened good Captain Picard. The ferocity of the Russian taunting took him completely by surprise, and Picard became convinced that a new strategy was required if the quest for the Holy Dilithium Crystal were to be brought to a successful conclusion. Picard, after having consulted his closest Officers, decided that they should seperate and search for the crystal individually. Now this is what they did; Launcelot--
(Suddenly a bright beam consumes Sisko as he is mysteriously beamed out of the scene.)
UHURA: (Runs into the scene.) Sisko!
THE TALE OF SIR JULIAN
Q: So each of the knights went their seperate ways. Sir Julian rode north through the deep dark vast Borg ship accompanied by his favorite mistrals.
DATA: (Music starts up and he starts singing)
Bravely, bold Sir Julian rode forth from enterprise.
He was not afraid to die, O brave Sir Julian.
He was not at all afraid to be assimilated.
Brave, brave, brave, brave sir Julian!
He was not in the least bit scared to die of increasing age
Or to catch a nasty cold the flu and chicken pox
To die of an extemely deadly bad viral disease
And to get caught by the borg brave Sir Julian
Wires through his arms
And wires through his head
And His flesh untended
and left for dead
and a laser inserted
and his mind controlled
and his eyeball-
JULIAN: That's--that's, uh, that's enough music for now Data. It looks like there's dirty work afoot.
WESLEY: But the academy system is a way of preserving freedom.
DATA: (Whispering) Wesley forget about freedom, your in the wrong scene.
(As knights press onward in the Borg ship they suddenly encounter the vicious three headed assimilated monster. The left head is Locutus, the right head is Kirk and the left head is the Holo Doc.)
THREE HEADED MONSTER: Halt! Who are you?
DATA: (Singing) He is brave Sir Julian, brave Sir Julian, who...
JULIAN: Shut up! Um, n-n-nobody just another borg.
THREE HEADED MONSTER: What is your purpose here?
DATA: (Singing) To fight! And-
JULIAN: Um, oo, n-nothing really. Just to pass through good Sir Borg.
THREE HEADED MONSTER: You are not one of us.
JULIAN: Well, I must say I-um...
THREE HEADED MONSTER: We are borg. You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile.
JULIAN: Well I am an officer from the Enterprise.
THREE HEADED MOSTER: Your a officer of the Enterprise?
JULIAN: I am.
LOCUTUS: In that case we shall have to destroy you.
HOLOGRAHIC DOCTOR: Shall we?
KIRK: Oh, we don't think so.
HOLOGRAPHIC DOCTOR: Well, what do we think
LOCUTUS: We think kill him.
KIRK: Well let's lock him up for a bit and take an extremely long time for some elaborate purpose before we assimilate him.
HOLOGRAPHIC DOCTOR: Oh shut up.
LOCUTUS: Perhaps-
HOLOGRAPHIC: You too.
LOCUTUS: Oh quick get the bomb and let's blow him up.
(Julian and his men watch this argument in fascination and fear.)
KIRK: Oh, blow ourself up.
HOLOGRAPHIC DOCTOR: Yes do us all a favor.
LOCUTUS: What?
KIRK: Yapping on all the time!
HOLOGRAPHIC DOCTOR: You're lucky you're not next to us!
LOCUTUS: What do you mean?
HOLOGRAPHIC DOCTOR: You're flashy laser thing always gets in our (Locutus turns to look at him.) ahhh! Eyes!
JULIAN: (Taps his communicator) Seven to beam up. (The team disappears.)
LOCUTUS: Oh no it doesn't! Anyway you constantly malfunction.
HOLOGRAPHIC DOCTOR: Well it's only because you always mess with our
projecter parts!
KIRK: Oh stop arguing and let's go destroy some starships!
LOCUTUS: Alright, alright, we'll assimilate him first and then destroy starships and then recharge.
HOLOGRAPHIC DOCTOR: Yes.
KIRK: Oh, but not recharge.
LOCUTUS: Alright, alright, we won't recharge but let's assimilate him anyway!
THREE HEADED MONSTER: Right!
LOCUTUS: He buggered off.
KIRK: So he has, he's scarpered.
(Scene changes to where Julian is.)
DATA: (Singing) Brave Sir Julian ran away.
JULIAN: No!
DATA: Bravely ran away away!
JULIAN: I didn't!
DATA: When danger shows and says, "What's up?"
He tells our ship to "Beam us up."
JULIAN: No!
DATA: When danger will not disappear,
JULIAN: I don't!
DATA: He seeks help from our engineer!
Bravely landing on our floors!
JULIAN: I never did!
DATA: He flys through many corridors.
JULIAN: Oh lie!
DATA: Bravest of the brave Sir Julian!
JULIAN: I never!
SISKO: Defeat at the castle seemed to have utterly disheartened good Captain Picard. The ferocity of the Russian taunting took him completely by surprise, and Picard became convinced that a new strategy was required if the quest for the Holy Dilithium Crystal were to be brought to a successful conclusion. Picard, after having consulted his closest Officers, decided that they should seperate and search for the crystal individually. Now this is what they did; Launcelot--
(Suddenly a bright beam consumes Sisko as he is mysteriously beamed out of the scene.)
UHURA: (Runs into the scene.) Sisko!
THE TALE OF SIR JULIAN
Q: So each of the knights went their seperate ways. Sir Julian rode north through the deep dark vast Borg ship accompanied by his favorite mistrals.
DATA: (Music starts up and he starts singing)
Bravely, bold Sir Julian rode forth from enterprise. He was not afraid to die, O brave Sir Julian. He was not at all afraid to be assimilated. Brave, brave, brave, brave sir Julian!
He was not in the least bit scared to die of increasing age Or to catch a nasty cold the flu and chicken pox To die of an extemely deadly bad viral disease And to get caught by the borg brave Sir Julian
Wires through his arms And wires through his head And His flesh untended and left for dead and a laser inserted and his mind controlled and his eyeball-
JULIAN: That's--that's, uh, that's enough music for now Data. It looks like there's dirty work afoot.
WESLEY: But the academy system is a way of preserving freedom.
DATA: (Whispering) Wesley forget about freedom, your in the wrong scene.
(As knights press onward in the Borg ship they suddenly encounter the vicious three headed assimilated monster. The left head is Locutus, the right head is Kirk and the left head is the Holo Doc.)
THREE HEADED MONSTER: Halt! Who are you?
DATA: (Singing) He is brave Sir Julian, brave Sir Julian, who...
JULIAN: Shut up! Um, n-n-nobody just another borg.
THREE HEADED MONSTER: What is your purpose here?
DATA: (Singing) To fight! And-
JULIAN: Um, oo, n-nothing really. Just to pass through good Sir Borg.
THREE HEADED MONSTER: You are not one of us.
JULIAN: Well, I must say I-um...
THREE HEADED MONSTER: We are borg. You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile.
JULIAN: Well I am an officer from the Enterprise.
THREE HEADED MOSTER: Your a officer of the Enterprise?
JULIAN: I am.
LOCUTUS: In that case we shall have to destroy you.
HOLOGRAHIC DOCTOR: Shall we?
KIRK: Oh, we don't think so.
HOLOGRAPHIC DOCTOR: Well, what do we think
LOCUTUS: We think kill him.
KIRK: Well let's lock him up for a bit and take an extremely long time for some elaborate purpose before we assimilate him.
HOLOGRAPHIC DOCTOR: Oh shut up.
LOCUTUS: Perhaps-
HOLOGRAPHIC: You too.
LOCUTUS: Oh quick get the bomb and let's blow him up.
(Julian and his men watch this argument in fascination and fear.)
KIRK: Oh, blow ourself up.
HOLOGRAPHIC DOCTOR: Yes do us all a favor.
LOCUTUS: What?
KIRK: Yapping on all the time!
HOLOGRAPHIC DOCTOR: You're lucky you're not next to us!
LOCUTUS: What do you mean?
HOLOGRAPHIC DOCTOR: You're flashy laser thing always gets in our (Locutus turns to look at him.) ahhh! Eyes!
JULIAN: (Taps his communicator) Seven to beam up. (The team disappears.)
LOCUTUS: Oh no it doesn't! Anyway you constantly malfunction.
HOLOGRAPHIC DOCTOR: Well it's only because you always mess with our projecter parts!
KIRK: Oh stop arguing and let's go destroy some starships!
LOCUTUS: Alright, alright, we'll assimilate him first and then destroy starships and then recharge.
HOLOGRAPHIC DOCTOR: Yes.
KIRK: Oh, but not recharge.
LOCUTUS: Alright, alright, we won't recharge but let's assimilate him anyway!
THREE HEADED MONSTER: Right!
LOCUTUS: He buggered off.
KIRK: So he has, he's scarpered.
(Scene changes to where Julian is.)
DATA: (Singing) Brave Sir Julian ran away.
JULIAN: No!
DATA: Bravely ran away away!
JULIAN: I didn't!
DATA: When danger shows and says, "What's up?" He tells our ship to "Beam us up."
JULIAN: No!
DATA: When danger will not disappear,
JULIAN: I don't!
DATA: He seeks help from our engineer! Bravely landing on our floors!
JULIAN: I never did!
DATA: He flys through many corridors.
JULIAN: Oh lie!
DATA: Bravest of the brave Sir Julian!
JULIAN: I never!
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