No, I can't do that. What would happen to my loyal fans? (All three of them, at least. . .)
As before, all characters are property of RenPics, except Jenny. She's mine. For all the good that'll do me. . .
And a super dooper big thank you to all my JoAT forum buddies, most of whom can now be found over on MaryD's Talking Xena board.
Story time. And please, review review review!!
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Jack led the girl away. Away from the market, away from prying eyes, away from snoopy blonde partners and weaselly French soldiers.
They were watched. . .
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After about 15 minutes of jungle trek, Jack and Jenny came to a cliff face that loomed over the Pacific ocean. Jenny had seemed ill equipped to handle a jungle hike, and had fallen on him once or twice. So when they reached the beach, Jenny looked justifiably relieved. The beach was deserted as far as the eye could see. Which wasn't that far, really. Less than 50 meters to either side. To the north, wild, animal jungle, which the duo had just emerged from. To the south, rocky outcroppings, which would be easy to climb, if you were, say, a mountain goat.
Jenny tried to memorize exactly where they were, but since her knowledge of Pulau Pulau geography was less than stellar, she failed. So when Jack led her to the mouth of a hidden cave in the cliff face, she was genuinely startled. She hadn't noticed it at all, not until she was three feet away from it. Yes, this was a good private spot. Jenny took the lead, hiked up her skirts and waddled into the cave, with Jack close behind.
Jack took a moment before entering the cave to watch the jungle for signs of a tail. There were none.
Upon entering the cave, Jack saw Jenny inspecting it with a diligence that would have surprised him had he not guessed she was a spy. She was looking for a bolt hole. A back door, as it were. Without a word, Jack pointed to a crack that, at first glance, was hardly the size of a small child. But a grown man could crawl through it and get out of the cave 25 metres up the beach. Jenny nodded silently, understanding, and settled onto a nearby rock.
Her hands folded demurely in her lap, Jack did a double take when he saw a gleam of gold on her left hand. A wedding ring.
Curiouser and curiouser. . .
"How did you find this wonderful spot?" she inquired.
"I found it one drear November morn. In other words, it's not important," he said brusquely. He had found the cave one morning when, after a particularly drunken night before, hadn't had the courage to go home to Emilia. "So, spill the beans, kiddo. What's the story here?"
"Where shall I begin, Mr. Stiles?"
"The beginning sounds about right. . ."
She cocked an eyebrow at him and said simply, "I'm a spy, just like you."
"Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?"
"I'm older than I appear. Do stop goofing around!"
"Hey, fish gotta swim, birds gotta fly..."
The look she shot Jack could've put him six feet under. They were surrounded by the coolth of the cave, the gentle waves battering the sand a few feet away. She was wearing a perfume that was probably called Spring Mist but should be called Justifiable Rape and be sold only under perscription. She was lit from behind by the warm morning rays that were streming into the cave, and looked like an angel come to earth.
Jack fell in love with her then and there... and then remembered Emilia. And the spell was broken. He remembered all the things this brat had put him through.
"Ok. Ok. So you're a spy. Who's side are you on?"
"My own," she replied curtly. "I'm an American, of course, but I've been... framed. For a horrible crime that I didn't commit."
"Let me guess. Your husband was found dead on your wedding night, right?"
Jenny jumped off the rock she had been perched on in a heartbeat. The next thing that Jack knew, there was a pistol pointed right at his heart.
For a long moment, neither moved. Jack tried to calculate the what the odds were that he'd make it to the "back door" before she shot him. They weren't good.
Then she said quietly, menacingly, "You have exactly two seconds to explain how you knew that, Stiles."
"Your wedding ring. I saw your wedding ring. . ." Jack held his breath, hoping that he'd live long enough to take another one.
Jenny blushed. Just as suddenly as it had appeared, the pistol was gone. Jack could not say where, exactly, it had gone to.
"Sorry. After being accused of a crime I didn't commit, I'm a tad jumpy."
"A tad?"
"Ok, a lot jumpy."
Jack settled back against the wall of the cave. And before Jenny knew it, she was staring down the barrel of his gun. Her eyes opened a little wider. Before she could question him, he said, "Insurance policy. I don't like it when beautiful ladies pull guns on me. Makes me a tad jumpy. Besides, I did warn you. So, sing, little birdy, why did you pick me as your cover?"
Jenny slowly sat back down on the rock, aware of Jack's attentive stare. She sighed and said, "Well, Mr. Stiles, to begin at the beginning, I had high access in Washington. Very high. Until my unfortunate circumstances, I was highly regarded as the second best spy ever to come down the pipe."
"Second best?"
"You're first."
"Oh."
"I knew all about Pulau-Pulau. And Miss Emilia Rothschild. And the Daring Dragoon. And Kentucky Sue."
"That explains the necklace, then."
"Precicely. I knew it would get your attention. So when I became desperate, you were the first logical choice. It all fit. I'm the right age, appearence wise, to be your illegitimite daughter with Kentucky Sue."
"How old are you?"
"Tut tut! Mr. Stiles, never ask a lady her age! Anyway, I knew Emilia would be so amused at the situation that she wouldn't pry. At least, not too much. And Pulau-Pulau is remote enough for me to hide until I can catch the person or persons who did kill my last husband."
"Last husband?"
"Yes. Last husband. Leave it at that, Mr. Stiles. So, until I can safely reveal myself to the killer, I'm your daughter. The only problem is is that there's quite a large price on my head, dead or alive. If you get me out of this alive, as opposed to the alternative, I'll pay you."
Without missing a beat, Jack asked, "How much?"
Jenny grinned. "You are mercenary aren't you? $500. In gold. Unmarked coins. Understood?"
"Agreed." Jack holstered his gun, slowly, making sure that the girl wouldn't freak out. She watched calmly, then held out her hand.
In her palm were two bullets. Jack's gun held two bullets. Ergo. . .
"How in the hell. . .?" exclaimed Jack, pulling out his gun again, opening the chamber and. . . seeing no bullets. The little snot had swiped his bullets!
"Never warn someone that you're armed. Big mistake."
Jack could only blink at the girl for a moment. Then he repeated, "How in the hell. . .?"
In answer, the beauty stood up and began walking over to Jack. Then, she tripped over an invisible obstacle, and went flying into Jack's arms with a small Oof." When she pulled away, Jack saw that in her right hand was the necklace she had given him earlier that morning. Which had been firmly esconsed in his waistcoat pocket. He hadn't felt a thing.
"I have many skills." She smirked, and handed the necklace back to him.
Jack goggled at her for a moment, then burst out laughing. "Good gravy, you certainly do! Remind me never to piss you off."
"Don't ever piss me off," she replied with an eyebrow raised.
"No more funny stuff, tho, ok? We're in this together, so no more guns drawn?" he said as he extened his elbow towards her.
She took the proffered elbow with her right hand and raised her left one, the first three fingers pointing strait up. "Scout's honor."
"Yeah, but were you ever a scout?"
They made their way to the mouth of the cave, where Jack suddenly turned to her and said, "Hey, you warned me that you were armed. Aren't you breaking your own rule?"
":What are you talking about?"
"I mean the gun you pulled on me!" he replied as they sauntered up the beach towards the jungle.
"What gun?"
Jack shook his head and laughed. "Nevermind," he said as they disappeared into the thick jungle foliage.
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Across the island, a very different meeting was taking place between two people. And neither of them were as beautiful as Jenny, nor as ruggedly handsome as Jack, so we'll skip the physical introductions and move right onto the meat of the interlude.
Captian Broguard, Second Battalion Commander, Security Officer, and general jerkwad, was standing in Govenor Croque's office, his hat tucked neatly under one arm. He was feeling a little restless. These sorts of meetings were boring to him. He'd rather be out on the field, trying to track down the Dragoon. Croque was sitting at an ornate desk, his head down over some reports. He looked smug.
Croque looked up from the sheaf of papers that littered his mohagany desk and said, "So you say this Black Widow is on our island, Broguard? And she is posing as Jaque Stiles' daughter?"
"Oui, Guv-en-or. Von Klampberg told me that he'd spotted the woman early this morning."
Croque looked thoughtful. "Von Klampberg, eh? Isn't he your new man?"
Broguard nodded. "Oui, Guv-en-or. A great soldier. Promoted him as soon as he was off the boat from the mother country."
Croque nodded in turn. "It may be that he's in for another promotion, Broguard. Continue."
Broguard paled slightly. The next available promotion was his job. He pressed on. "Von Klampberg said that she has changed in apperance slightly, but he recognized her immediately. She somehow managed to get Messier Stiles to afford her protection. My theory is that he's infatuated, and will be stupid enough to try and seduce her. Which is known to be fatal."
Croque giggled. "Oh, this is too rich! Either Jaque will be stupid enough to marry her, and she'll kill him, or I will arrest him for harboring a murderess... It's too easy, Broguard! Dissmissed. Find Stiles and the girl. Bring them here. I want to gloat." Broguard began to leave, but then noticed that Croque glanced furtively around and reached into a drawer of his desk.
Broguard sighed. He knew what was coming.
Mr. Nipples was on Croque's hand. He was talking to the puppet again.
"Oui, Mr. Nipples. We're going to gloat, aren't we? Yes we are!"
Broguard cleared his throat, to remind the govenor that he wasn't alone.
Croque jumped about a foot and a half, unceremoniously yanked the cow off his hand and slammed it into the desk drawer. Unfortunately, he also slammed the drawer on his little finger. He yowled in pain and embarassment.
"Are you still here? Go, arrest the girl and Jaque. It's easy."
"Oui, guv-en-or." Broguard shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other. Then, he spoke again. "Um, Guv-en-or. . ."
"WHAT?"
"This girl, she is very beautiful. I saw her wanted poster. It would be a shame if something hapened to her. . ." Broguard squirmed a little more.
"What are you suggesting, Broguard?"
"I want her."
"She's a Murderess!"
"She's a beautiful murderess!"
Croque thought for a moment. If anybody could get a girl to behave, it was Broguard. And, worse came to worse, Broguard would die so happy... and who was he to stand in the way of that?
Besides, Broguard had just caught him with Mr. Nipples. Very embarrassing.
"Very well, Broguard, the girl is yours. But make it at least appear correct and nice. The last thing we need is a scandal."
Broguard clicked his heels together in salute. "Oui, mon capitaine." He whirled on one foot and was gone.
"Idiot."
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Ok, there you go! Chapter three! I mean, we all knew Broguard was a putz, but to WANT to get at this girl who he thinks is a murderer? Hello! Duh! Oh well.
In the next chapter, we'll find out where Jack got Jenny's name from, and what Emilia is thinking of this whole situation. Keep those reviews coming please! I love reviews. They are my bread and butter! But please, try to make them a little more in depth? "It's funny" is great and all, but I need constructive critisisim too! Thanks!