Disclaimer:
None of this is making me any money, and I still only claim ownership of
Susana and the red velvet couch she sleeps on.
Marvel owns the rest of the characters, Mazda holds the copyright on the
name Miata (but I WILL own a bright red Miata someday), Adam Garcia owns
himself (but oh, the fun that could be had if I owned him), Touchstone Pictures
owns Coyote Ugly, Leanne Rimes (I think) owns her songs from the Coyote Ugly
soundtrack, some studio who I am not affiliated with owns The Fifth Element,
and Cameron Tuttle owns the Bad Girl's Guides. The general inconsistencies are
still here- I'm playing fast and loose with the facts. Sue me and you get nothing but my failing
grade in microeconomics, the infamous blueberry colored cordless phone, a
half-empty case of Diet Coke, and an aged, half-smoked pack of Djarum Splash
clove cigarettes. Not worth the
trouble, kids.
Notes:
Sound
*Thought*
}
Telepathic conversation {
Setting:
En route to Boston, Boston proper.
About 11:00 AM
An
hour later, a spotless white Miata slid seamlessly from the Salem on-ramp into
the flow of traffic on the highway.
Susana had changed from her meditation gear and was now much more
suitably attired for a day of shopping, wearing beaten-up jeans with a
form-fitting black turtleneck, a black leather jacket, and low-heeled
boots. Pushing her sunglasses up
headband-style, she reached into the center console and drew out a CD case,
which she tossed at Jubilee in the passenger seat with instructions to pick a
CD and put it in.
"God,
I wish it was warm now. This is such
a warm-weather car. I can't wait to
talk Ms. Frost into lettin' me take it out in a few months. Wait a minute…it does get warm here,
right? Please tell me you people don't
think that 45 degrees is warm…" said Susana, the plea easily perceptible in her
voice.
"45,
warm? No way, Jose. 45's not warm…it's tropical!"
"oh,
come on. You're from California. You know how horrible this weather seems to
me! Please do not torment the
Southerner. It's impolite."
"Susana,
I'm only kidding. Boston does get warm
eventually. It just…well, it just takes
it a while longer than it takes the weather in Louisiana and Texas."
Just
then, sound began filtering into the car from the Miata's custom-designed
stereo. Susana tilted her head to catch the melody and let out a little shriek
as she recognized the song.
"What? You said I could pick what I wanted!" exclaimed
Jubilee. "Do ya want me to change it?"
"No,
no…I love this song. That sound was me
being excited about hearing it. Have
you seen the movie? It's great;
especially that one scene with Adam- he plays the singer's boyfriend- on the
bar. I love that kid, I had dance class
with him in Sydney before we moved back to the States. God…if I'd known he'd grow up to be that
cute…well, had I known, you'd be speaking with the future Mrs. Garcia right
about now. Oh well."
"Wow,
you knew him? I'm impressed. Must be hard, being here with us Gen-Xers
after being away from home at school.
We're a good team, but we're a bit low on attractive, available guys…"
"Now,
I wouldn't say that. What about
Ev? Or Mondo, or Angelo, or Jono? None of them are dating anyone seriously at
this point, are they?"
"No,
none of them are. But did you listen to
yourself when you said that? I mean,
Synch, Mondo, Skin, and Jono are cool, but be honest…can you really see even
going out on a date with them, much less…anything more? I know I can't."
"Well,
that's cause you only think of them as teammates. They're teammates, yeah.
But they're also guys. And,
hell…think of the guys at the Institute.
Mr. Drake, I mean Iceman, is a tad old for you, but he's cool-no pun
intended- and there's also Gambit, Colossus, Nightcrawler…despite what you may
think, you are not in a position of enforced celibacy."
"Might
as well be. Think about this for a
minute. I don't find Mondo or Ev
attractive, Jono has no mouth and there'd be some serious problems if he
ditched the shirt and bandages combo, Skin's a bit gray for my tastes, Iceman's
too old for me, Colossus is apparently not so hot in bed, brimstone's not too
high on my list of turn-ons so Nightcrawler is out, and you wouldn't know this,
but Gambit and Rogue are a fairly serious, if a tad on-and-off, couple. If I made a move on him, she'd kick my ass."
"OK,
I concede. Absolutely none of the men
you're around regularly will work.
We'll just have to find you someone when we're at the club next
weekend."
"Whoa,
Whoa, Whoa…Find me a man? Who
says I want one right now? I believe you're
the one who brought us onto this particular tangent."
"Only
cause you brought it up."
She
broke into song, her voice alternating between being a perfect match with the
song and being a rather pathetic parody of LeAnn Rimes' melodic crooning.
"Which
one's your real voice?"
"Huh? Oh, you mean just then?"
"No,
I mean yesterday…of course I mean just then. Which one was you and which one was your powers?"
"Gah…I
don't think I'm ever gonna get used to just talking about my powers whenever
someone asks. I got so used to not
talking about them at all, and ducking questions if anyone asked…uhm. Yeah.
The singing earlier…the good stuff was mimicry. The dog howls are what I really sound
like when I sing. But most people
couldn't tell ya that. I was actually
in choir in high school-we won mad awards.
If you can imitate award-winning sopranos, why not exploit it? Especially since it's not like it's a known
sort of mutant trait, so I wasn't putting my family in harm's way by being an
uncloseted mutant…I had fun with it, got to travel all over. Have you ever seen the movie The Fifth
Element?"
"Yeah,
why? What about it?"
"Know
the part where the Diva's performing?"
"Yeah…no,
that wasn't…was that you?"
"No,
but I can do a perfect imitation." She
demonstrated, voice rising and falling in competition with the melancholy U2
song resonating in the small car, then turned her attention fully back to the
road. "Ok, our exit should be coming up
soon. There it is!" she yelped happily,
simultaneously shifting gears and easing into the exit lane. The car slowed, nearly coming to a stop at
the bottom of the ramp, then sped back up since the light changed right as they
arrived. Susana sifted through her
memories of the streets of Boston, then slowed and signaled a turn.
10
minutes later, they arrived in the parking lot of Champ's Sports. The girls hopped out, locked the
convertible, and raced each other into the store, where they commandeered the
attention of the first staff member they saw, a mildly attractive young blond
man.
"Where
can we find gymnastics workout clothes?" demanded Jubilee, suppressing a giggle
at his overwhelmed expression and mumbled directions. "Just point us in the right direction, will ya?" He readily assented, and in a few moments
they were pawing through rack upon rack of what even Jubilee had to agree were
hideously bright and highly alarming clothes.
"HA! Found it!"
She raised a pair of black leggings.
"These are perfect. You wear
what, a medium in pants? Go try these
on."
"Yes,
Ma'am." She disappeared into the
fitting room, pants in tow. A few
minutes later, she emerged, so happy she was nearly glowing. "These really are perfect. Thanks, Jubes! Now…book-storeward, ho!"
Hours
later, the 2 girls arrived at a small café in an arty neighborhood in
Boston. Leaving most of their bags
crammed into the Miata's tiny backseat, they hopped out and requisitioned a
table on the sidewalk. A waiter
recognized the two, and hurried over with menus. They ordered coffee and dessert, then began to poke through the
bag they had brought to the table.
Susana reached into the bag and pulled out a small book with a bright pink
plastic cover.
"The
Bad Girl's Guide to the Open Road. I
hope this is as fun as it looks." She
opened the book to a random page and began to read section titles as they
caught her eye. "Road Trip Personas…Are You My Motor…Non-gun Weapons You Already
Own…Jubes, this is sounding really fun."
"Not
today, it's not. Have you forgotten
that we borrowed Frosty's car? You
think we'd survive long enough to have any fun? I don't."
"No,
no. I didn't mean for now. I'm no more enamored of committing grand
theft auto than you are. I'm just
saying…when it gets warm and we're out for the summer. Think about it- you, me, a gas card, and a
map. Wouldn't that be cool?"
