Private Bet #8: Warriors of Love
by Shade
Disclaimer: It was those nice young men in their clean white
coats and they're COMING TO TAKE ME AWAY HAHA HOHO HEEHEE!!
To the funny farm where life is beautiful all the time!!
~~~~~~~
Part 3: Stop, In The Name Of Love!
~~~~~~~
-Outside the conventional dimensions of space and time
Sailor Pluto was not a happy Time Guardian.
To put it mildly, this was not a good thing.
And if she wasn't happy, then someone else
wasn't going to be happy for much longer either.
One of the little benefits of being an immortal was that
you could hold grudges for a long time. A *very* long time.
SOMEBODY was going to pay for this headache.
As soon as she finished unraveling the knots in the tangled
threads of fate and destiny and pinpointed where in the
past/present/future the screwup had taken place the guilty
party was going to learn *why* it's not conductive to one's
continued good health to get on Sailor Pluto's bad side.
But first...
"Damn it!! I need some ASPIRIN!!!"
~~~~~~~~
-Furinkan High
Today the school was strangely quiet.
No screaming hordes came charging out
to try and get a date from Akane.
This was unusual. Of course it might
have had something to do with the fact
that Miss Tendo hadn't arrived yet.
This was the side of Furinkan that Ranma
had never seen before. It was kinda weird,
but he decided that he liked it. There was
something to be said for a morning without
his father trying to deprive him of food
(knocked out cold during their sparring
session) or a malicious old lady trying to
splash him (she'd caught a cold from last
night's dousing). There wasn't an unwanted
fiancee treating him like the dirt under
her shoe (she'd overslept this morning),
and the stupid Horde-o-Hentai's wasn't crashing
around like a herd of lovesick rhinos (they were
standing around in the school courtyard crying
and sobbing).
It was quite possibly the greatest morning of his entire life.
"Ranma Saotome."
Well so much for *that* idea.
"Yeah? So what do you guys want?"
He dropped into a defensive stance
as the Athletic Akane Admirers walked
up to him.
"We are giving up on our pursuit of Akane Tendo."
"Oh...HUH?!"
Okay, he hadn't seen *this* one coming!
Considering the average IQ demonstrated by
the males here, he'd been expecting them to
follow Kuno's example from yesterday and try
to attack him again. The emphasis being on
the word "try" of course.
"Kuno was the greatest fighter in the school!"
{Well that's not saying much...}
"And the biggest pervert!"
{Now *that* on the other hand...}
"If he couldn't defeat you, we have no chance at all!"
{Well I'll be damned...they *do* know
how to use their brains after all!}
"So we're giving our acceptance to your engagement!!"
All of the boys started talking at once, some
to congratulate him, others tearfully mourning
their loss, and the rest just whispering various
barbs and snipes just out of earshot.
{...Gah...}
"NOW JUST WAIT A SECOND HERE!"
That shut them up.
Ranma took a moment to appreciate the
sudden return of the morning quiet.
But this nonsense was going to stop!
"We are NOT engaged! I never agreed to the
dumb idea and I sure as heck didn't ask
to be dumped on that violent, ungrateful,
spoiled, thick headed, stupid...!!"
He suddenly found himself struggling to find a
word capable of describing exactly how much he
did *not* like the youngest Tendo. Having spent
almost every waking moment since he could first
remember either practicing martial arts or simply
fighting, his vocabulary wasn't exactly up to par
with his peers.
But enough got through that even the A.A.A.
was able to figure out the gist of it. Needless
to say, after hearing their goddess being profaned
like that they were not happy.
"GET HIM!!"
Ranma started to smile and crack his knuckles
as he watched the bloodthirsty mob of hot headed
youths rush towards him.
Finally, something he knew how to deal with.
~~~~~~
-Guess Who
"AAAHHH! I'M SOOO LATE!!!"
"I told you to set the alarm."
"Quiet Artemis! Run!! I can still
make second period if we hurry!!"
Just another average morning
in the Aino household.
~~~~~~
-Speaking Of Households
"Get up Ranma! We're going to be-"
Surprise, surprise!
"Where is he?!"
"If you're looking for Ranma,
he left over an hour ago."
"WHAT?!"
"Won't you have some breakfast?"
Zip. Zoom. Zing.
"Oh my!"
Kasumi blinked as her nice (but violent)
little sister went from a completely
stupified standstill to a full out charge
in the direction of the school.
It appeared that Akane was building up
quite a head of steam, if you listened
real good you could almost hear the high
pitched whistling coming from her ears.
"Ranma no BAKA!"
~~~~~~
-And You Were Expecting?
"Man, you guys suck."
This was just so disappointing,
now he felt like some kind of bully.
These boys had to be the most sorry
bunch of weaklings to disgrace the
martial arts he'd ever seen. Not one
of them had seemed to have anything on
their minds except trying to hit him as
hard as possible. No strategy, no defense,
it was pathetic!
{No wonder that clumsy slowpoke always
manages to plow through them every morning.
They're all hot air and glass jaws.}
Not even breathing hard, Ranma walked past
the hill of groaning bodies to the school
building and took his first step towards
a new future.
He would also go down as the first person
in recorded history to give Sailor Pluto an
industrial strength migraine.
~~~~~~
-Meanwhile
He was fast becoming a minor legend in Japan.
They called him, the Clueless Lost Stinky Poo Bum.
Not only was Ryoga Hibiki unable to follow directions
even if his life depended on it, the dope also didn't
bathe regularly anymore, hence the latter part of the
title that had been hung upon him.
{Kill Ranma! This is all your fault Saotome!! Vengence!!
Ranma Saotome = Coward = Evil = Reason for my unhappiness
= Obstacle = Kill!!!}
The mind of Ryoga was simple and set
on only one track (a broken one, at that).
Fortunately for all, he would also continue to
go the wrong way for a couple more weeks thanks
to a lovesick yak that was now following him around.
"Get away from me!!"
He started running in a random direction.
"Yaaakk!"
It kept on chasing him.
"Ranma, this is all your fault!!"
~~~~~~
-So close, yet so far
"..."
Blue flames of depression burned over
the blonde holding buckets outside
of the classroom.
The white mooncat sitting next to her shook his head.
"I told you so."
Minako kicked him out the window.
~~~~~~
-(Yes, I do enjoy messing with your fragile little minds)
This was not turning out to
be a good day for Akane Tendo.
Not only was she running late for her classes,
but she'd also forgotten breakfast and to
add insult to injury an old man had *accidently*
splashed her with his hose while watering his garden.
And this was all thanks to an unwanted fiance who
had the nerve not to sleep in and be rudely awakened
by a bucket of cold water that Akane had taken the
time and trouble to draw this morning.
{When I find that baka..."Wham-Pow-To da Moon"!}
That was when she tripped over the first unconscious body.
*CRASH*
Only her pride was injured, but she was still pissed as hell.
"Hey you! Why don't you watch where you're..."
Then she finally noticed that there were a *lot* of bodies here.
And all of them looked very *drained*.
{What's going on here?!}
She hesitated too long.
*Grab*
"Ulp!"
Normally the self proclaimed martial artist wouldn't
have been worried about being attacked by a slender
brown haired woman old enough to be her mother.
Even if it seemed that this person was stronger then
they looked since she was able to hoist the youngest
Tendo's not inconsiderable weight over a foot off the
ground with only one hand.
Akane wasn't afraid of freaks. She knew that she
could beat any human opponent, no matter how strong
they might be.
Except that this woman's eyes were pure red,
pupils and all. And they were *glowing*.
"Who are you?!"
The "woman" smiled. And revealed fangs in the process.
"AAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"
It was going to be a *really* bad day for Akane.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-P33R the F34R!
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE OUT OF ASPRIN?!!"
Ever see a pissed off Time Guardian with a killer migraine?
It is *not* a sight for the faint of heart.
"I'msosorryma'amwe'llgetmorerightawayyeswewillsoplease-
-ohpleasedon'tkillmeI'vegotawifeandthreekidsandIjustwetmyself!!"
But it does get results.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-Let Dreaming Senshi Lie
"Psss!"
Minako ignored the noise coming from her schoolbag.
She still hadn't forgiven Artemis for rubbing it
in with his two cents earlier. It was too much
to ask of a young and beautiful girl to be both
a sailorsuited heroine of love and justice *and*
still keep up with everything in school.
"Pssst!!"
She suddenly wished that Ranma were here.
He would understand!
Immediately hearts and stars filled the daydreaming girl's eyes.
Unfortunately that also caused her to miss her partner's
hasty exit from her schoolbag.
Artemis took one look at that blushing face and knew
that it would take hours for her to get back to normal.
But they needed Sailor V right now.
Seeing that ordinary means of getting her attention had
failed, the white moon cat was forced to take more
drastic measures.
Silently he crept up to an exposed ankle.
"Forgive me, Mina."
*CHOMP*
"AAAAAAAIIIIIEEEEE!!!"
A few minutes later a cursing masked heroine
was taking to the rootops with a slight limp.
Back in the classroom, a black and blue ball
of fur made a note to *never* do that again.
-T.B.C!
by Shade
Disclaimer: It was those nice young men in their clean white
coats and they're COMING TO TAKE ME AWAY HAHA HOHO HEEHEE!!
To the funny farm where life is beautiful all the time!!
~~~~~~~
Part 3: Stop, In The Name Of Love!
~~~~~~~
-Outside the conventional dimensions of space and time
Sailor Pluto was not a happy Time Guardian.
To put it mildly, this was not a good thing.
And if she wasn't happy, then someone else
wasn't going to be happy for much longer either.
One of the little benefits of being an immortal was that
you could hold grudges for a long time. A *very* long time.
SOMEBODY was going to pay for this headache.
As soon as she finished unraveling the knots in the tangled
threads of fate and destiny and pinpointed where in the
past/present/future the screwup had taken place the guilty
party was going to learn *why* it's not conductive to one's
continued good health to get on Sailor Pluto's bad side.
But first...
"Damn it!! I need some ASPIRIN!!!"
~~~~~~~~
-Furinkan High
Today the school was strangely quiet.
No screaming hordes came charging out
to try and get a date from Akane.
This was unusual. Of course it might
have had something to do with the fact
that Miss Tendo hadn't arrived yet.
This was the side of Furinkan that Ranma
had never seen before. It was kinda weird,
but he decided that he liked it. There was
something to be said for a morning without
his father trying to deprive him of food
(knocked out cold during their sparring
session) or a malicious old lady trying to
splash him (she'd caught a cold from last
night's dousing). There wasn't an unwanted
fiancee treating him like the dirt under
her shoe (she'd overslept this morning),
and the stupid Horde-o-Hentai's wasn't crashing
around like a herd of lovesick rhinos (they were
standing around in the school courtyard crying
and sobbing).
It was quite possibly the greatest morning of his entire life.
"Ranma Saotome."
Well so much for *that* idea.
"Yeah? So what do you guys want?"
He dropped into a defensive stance
as the Athletic Akane Admirers walked
up to him.
"We are giving up on our pursuit of Akane Tendo."
"Oh...HUH?!"
Okay, he hadn't seen *this* one coming!
Considering the average IQ demonstrated by
the males here, he'd been expecting them to
follow Kuno's example from yesterday and try
to attack him again. The emphasis being on
the word "try" of course.
"Kuno was the greatest fighter in the school!"
{Well that's not saying much...}
"And the biggest pervert!"
{Now *that* on the other hand...}
"If he couldn't defeat you, we have no chance at all!"
{Well I'll be damned...they *do* know
how to use their brains after all!}
"So we're giving our acceptance to your engagement!!"
All of the boys started talking at once, some
to congratulate him, others tearfully mourning
their loss, and the rest just whispering various
barbs and snipes just out of earshot.
{...Gah...}
"NOW JUST WAIT A SECOND HERE!"
That shut them up.
Ranma took a moment to appreciate the
sudden return of the morning quiet.
But this nonsense was going to stop!
"We are NOT engaged! I never agreed to the
dumb idea and I sure as heck didn't ask
to be dumped on that violent, ungrateful,
spoiled, thick headed, stupid...!!"
He suddenly found himself struggling to find a
word capable of describing exactly how much he
did *not* like the youngest Tendo. Having spent
almost every waking moment since he could first
remember either practicing martial arts or simply
fighting, his vocabulary wasn't exactly up to par
with his peers.
But enough got through that even the A.A.A.
was able to figure out the gist of it. Needless
to say, after hearing their goddess being profaned
like that they were not happy.
"GET HIM!!"
Ranma started to smile and crack his knuckles
as he watched the bloodthirsty mob of hot headed
youths rush towards him.
Finally, something he knew how to deal with.
~~~~~~
-Guess Who
"AAAHHH! I'M SOOO LATE!!!"
"I told you to set the alarm."
"Quiet Artemis! Run!! I can still
make second period if we hurry!!"
Just another average morning
in the Aino household.
~~~~~~
-Speaking Of Households
"Get up Ranma! We're going to be-"
Surprise, surprise!
"Where is he?!"
"If you're looking for Ranma,
he left over an hour ago."
"WHAT?!"
"Won't you have some breakfast?"
Zip. Zoom. Zing.
"Oh my!"
Kasumi blinked as her nice (but violent)
little sister went from a completely
stupified standstill to a full out charge
in the direction of the school.
It appeared that Akane was building up
quite a head of steam, if you listened
real good you could almost hear the high
pitched whistling coming from her ears.
"Ranma no BAKA!"
~~~~~~
-And You Were Expecting?
"Man, you guys suck."
This was just so disappointing,
now he felt like some kind of bully.
These boys had to be the most sorry
bunch of weaklings to disgrace the
martial arts he'd ever seen. Not one
of them had seemed to have anything on
their minds except trying to hit him as
hard as possible. No strategy, no defense,
it was pathetic!
{No wonder that clumsy slowpoke always
manages to plow through them every morning.
They're all hot air and glass jaws.}
Not even breathing hard, Ranma walked past
the hill of groaning bodies to the school
building and took his first step towards
a new future.
He would also go down as the first person
in recorded history to give Sailor Pluto an
industrial strength migraine.
~~~~~~
-Meanwhile
He was fast becoming a minor legend in Japan.
They called him, the Clueless Lost Stinky Poo Bum.
Not only was Ryoga Hibiki unable to follow directions
even if his life depended on it, the dope also didn't
bathe regularly anymore, hence the latter part of the
title that had been hung upon him.
{Kill Ranma! This is all your fault Saotome!! Vengence!!
Ranma Saotome = Coward = Evil = Reason for my unhappiness
= Obstacle = Kill!!!}
The mind of Ryoga was simple and set
on only one track (a broken one, at that).
Fortunately for all, he would also continue to
go the wrong way for a couple more weeks thanks
to a lovesick yak that was now following him around.
"Get away from me!!"
He started running in a random direction.
"Yaaakk!"
It kept on chasing him.
"Ranma, this is all your fault!!"
~~~~~~
-So close, yet so far
"..."
Blue flames of depression burned over
the blonde holding buckets outside
of the classroom.
The white mooncat sitting next to her shook his head.
"I told you so."
Minako kicked him out the window.
~~~~~~
-(Yes, I do enjoy messing with your fragile little minds)
This was not turning out to
be a good day for Akane Tendo.
Not only was she running late for her classes,
but she'd also forgotten breakfast and to
add insult to injury an old man had *accidently*
splashed her with his hose while watering his garden.
And this was all thanks to an unwanted fiance who
had the nerve not to sleep in and be rudely awakened
by a bucket of cold water that Akane had taken the
time and trouble to draw this morning.
{When I find that baka..."Wham-Pow-To da Moon"!}
That was when she tripped over the first unconscious body.
*CRASH*
Only her pride was injured, but she was still pissed as hell.
"Hey you! Why don't you watch where you're..."
Then she finally noticed that there were a *lot* of bodies here.
And all of them looked very *drained*.
{What's going on here?!}
She hesitated too long.
*Grab*
"Ulp!"
Normally the self proclaimed martial artist wouldn't
have been worried about being attacked by a slender
brown haired woman old enough to be her mother.
Even if it seemed that this person was stronger then
they looked since she was able to hoist the youngest
Tendo's not inconsiderable weight over a foot off the
ground with only one hand.
Akane wasn't afraid of freaks. She knew that she
could beat any human opponent, no matter how strong
they might be.
Except that this woman's eyes were pure red,
pupils and all. And they were *glowing*.
"Who are you?!"
The "woman" smiled. And revealed fangs in the process.
"AAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"
It was going to be a *really* bad day for Akane.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-P33R the F34R!
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE OUT OF ASPRIN?!!"
Ever see a pissed off Time Guardian with a killer migraine?
It is *not* a sight for the faint of heart.
"I'msosorryma'amwe'llgetmorerightawayyeswewillsoplease-
-ohpleasedon'tkillmeI'vegotawifeandthreekidsandIjustwetmyself!!"
But it does get results.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-Let Dreaming Senshi Lie
"Psss!"
Minako ignored the noise coming from her schoolbag.
She still hadn't forgiven Artemis for rubbing it
in with his two cents earlier. It was too much
to ask of a young and beautiful girl to be both
a sailorsuited heroine of love and justice *and*
still keep up with everything in school.
"Pssst!!"
She suddenly wished that Ranma were here.
He would understand!
Immediately hearts and stars filled the daydreaming girl's eyes.
Unfortunately that also caused her to miss her partner's
hasty exit from her schoolbag.
Artemis took one look at that blushing face and knew
that it would take hours for her to get back to normal.
But they needed Sailor V right now.
Seeing that ordinary means of getting her attention had
failed, the white moon cat was forced to take more
drastic measures.
Silently he crept up to an exposed ankle.
"Forgive me, Mina."
*CHOMP*
"AAAAAAAIIIIIEEEEE!!!"
A few minutes later a cursing masked heroine
was taking to the rootops with a slight limp.
Back in the classroom, a black and blue ball
of fur made a note to *never* do that again.
-T.B.C!