Disclaimer:Voyager is sole property of Paramount, and dispite new discoveries into their future plans *cough*, I still love and cherish all characters.
The wind was cool and clear, ruffling over an exotic palm tree, purple and blue fronds tossing fitfully above crimson sands. She walked the beach alone, with the azure waves crashing madly at her feet, crowned in frothy white as the disappated into the balmy evening air. Her hair rose and fell over bare shoulders with each trudged step, and she turned her head away from the shore, toward the water, auburn locks turning with her.
"Mama"...
"I'm so sorry." The whispered apology was light- inaudible, she thought-but unbeknownst to her, there was someone nearby.
She hadn't accounted for him.
She'd sensed him before she heard him, breathing light apon her neck. Her sundress felt too thin and inadequate, and a shiver caused her arms to cross uncertainly.
"Kathryn, what's wrong with you?"
The sound of her name was enough to stop her, however uninterested she was in anything anymore. Meeting his eyes would be too much- she simply avoided his gaze with the best of her power.
"I'm fine, Chakotay."
Mama, don't leave Daddy alone. Mama, he needs you. Promise me, Mama!
The look on her face alone was enough to give him cause, bringing his hand up to her chin, leading her gaze to his own, and making her see him. He knew what she thought- he knew her problem.
"She's gone, Kathryn, and nothing you can do will bring her back. Don't shut me out...don't make me let you go."
All she could hear was the child's voice, the pleas of a young girl to have her mother live her life well- to live her life without her very heart which was, as she knew, the only heart she had. Her daughter, with her auburn hair and his raven eyes...nose sprayed with freckles. Her baby Abigail. Chakotay's smile, her laugh, their determination. An attack by the Anari, a flash of white...and fire...
..and a six year old scream broadcast over the cries of her crewmates.
"Mama..."
"My baby," She sighed, the tears drying on her cheeks in the strengthening wind. "She was so pretty..."
"She was beautiful," Chakotay corrected, hand still cupped about her chin. "She was ours, Kathryn Janeway, and we lost her together. You can't blame yourself for that."
Her eyes remained locked with his, unshed tears welled up within, deep pools of sparkling aqua pleading as her child once did.
To Chakotay, with her mahogany hair curling gently about her face, she looked all the world as he'd imagined Abigail would have, someday.
He leaned downward to kiss her forehead, and fell back, hand slipping to join with hers. They walked, she turning her head once again toward the ocean, lips curling into a soft, understanding smile.
"I'll forgive myself, then," She whispered, "And I know she'd forgive me, as well.