Chapter 3
Entering his room in the Queen's palace, Obi-Wan noted that
his apprentice, Anakin Skywalker, had once again failed in his duties. The bed was unmade, dirty laundry was strewn
on the floor and dust was everywhere. No
doubt Ani was loitering around the hangar, making a nuisance of himself and
trying to scrounge parts for a podracer he wanted to build. This, despite the fact that podracing was
expressly forbidden on Naboo.
Obi-Wan moaned in frustration and fell into a chair piled
with smelly underwear. He had never
appreciated Qui-Gon's patience until he had a Padawan of his own to train. Ani was particularly difficult. The Force was strong with him and he had
begun his training at a more advanced age than most Padawan. Obi-Wan often envied his fellow Jedi their
more tractable apprentices. It
reflected poorly on him that Ani was frequently absent from compulsory training
exercises and refused to perform his assigned tasks. "And with the Jedi Council watching my every
move," Obi-Wan muttered aloud.
The door flew open, slamming against the wall. Obi-Wan's autographed photo of Queen Amidala
fell to the floor and shattered.
"Hey, Obi-Wan!" Anakin piped from the doorway. His clothing was rumpled and torn, and the
tip of his Padawan braid appeared to have been dipped in engine oil.
Obi-Wan rose with difficulty from the laundry-filled chair.
He glowered at Anakin.
"Padawan! You must remember
to call me Master."
Anakin rolled his eyes and began tossing dirty laundry into
a pile on the floor. Obi-Wan went on,
"You missed compulsory training again today, Anakin. If you continue in this manner you will be
expelled from the Jedi Academy."
Anakin rooted under the bed and emerged with yet another dingy pair of
boxers. He playfully tossed them at
Obi-Wan's head. Obi-Wan snatched the
boxers in midair and grabbed at Anakin's braid. "I'll hang you by your hair, you little--"
A soft beep alerted Obi-Wan to an incoming holo-comm. "Where is the receiver, Anakin?"
he shouted, scanning the room in vain.
"Find it yourself, Dopey-Wan," Anakin sniggered,
hooking a booger out of his nose and flicking at the Jedi. His oily braid slid from Obi-Wan's grasp and
he made for the door as the exasperated Jedi aimed a kick at his butt.
Obi-Wan took a calming breath and used the power of the Force to locate the receiver unit under
the latest issue of Jedi Trainers' Quarterly. A hologram of Captain Panaka, Queen Amidala's head of security,
immediately began forming. "Good
afternoon, Captain Panaka."
"Kenobi, where is Saché?" The Captain was obviously agitated, and he
had an odd purplish blotch on his left cheek.
"I saw her earlier.
She said she was performing an important errand for the Queen."
Panaka shuddered.
"The Queen will not leave her chambers until it arrives. Without the Queen's participation, the
inauguration ceremony cannot take place.
The Senate is in an uproar. We
have troops combing the planet for the right shade, but apparently it has been
discontinued."
Obi-Wan was astounded.
"I have no idea what you're talking about, Captain."
"The Queen's lipstick, you fool Jedi! She must have her 'Ruby Riot'
lipstick!" Obi-Wan was too
startled to attempt a reply to the distraught soldier's outburst. Panaka shook his head. "My apologies, Kenobi. The stress . . . my blood pressure . . .
" He sighed. "Please see if you can find Saché. Her errand was to locate the Queen's
lipstick and get it on the afternoon shuttle.
The shuttle arrived, but no lipstick.
The Queen is . . . angry."
"An obvious understatement, Captain. I will do as you ask."
"My thanks, Obi-Wan Kenobi," Panaka said formally.
Obi-Wan squinted at the hologram. "Captain Panaka, your face . . . "
Panaka raised a hand to his cheek. "'Purple Dawn,'" he said disconsolately. "I suggested the Queen wear it instead
and she attacked me with it. It
makes her face look sallow . . ."
"Yours, too,"
Obi-Wan offered helpfully.
Captain Panaka nodded and ended the transmission. Obi-Wan turned to survey the chaos in his
room. Clean up would have to wait. In the name of galactic peace and harmony,
he would locate the Queen's lipstick.
