Chapter 9
Obi-Wan sat at the controls of the small starship he had chosen for his mission. "Ani, strap yourself in. It's time to go."
Anakin obeyed quickly, causing Obi-Wan to reflect ruefully on his Padawan's eagerness to witness his Master's death. A bubble of despair welled up inside him. "I can't do this," he moaned.
"I find your lack of faith . . . disturbing," Anakin intoned from the seat beside him.
"Cut that out, Ani," Obi-Wan snapped irritably. "It creeps me out when you use that voice. What are you supposed to be, some kind of--" He turned his head to the hangar doors, where a movement had caught his eye. "Force Almighty!" the Jedi exclaimed. "What is that?"
Anakin peered through the viewscreen at the dark ship entering the hangar. "Yippee! It's Darth Maul!" he crowed.
Obi-Wan stared grimly at the Infiltrator. Apparently, his life was about to come to an even more rapid end. "Anakin, stay on the ship," he ordered, then Obi-Wan Kenobi rose from his seat, removed his lightsaber from his belt and went to meet Darth Maul.
He waited on the floor of the hangar as Darth Maul strode down the ramp of his ship. For a moment, the two adversaries stared at one another, then Obi-Wan raised his lightsaber and flicked it on. "Maul, release the Queen's handmaiden."
"Gladly, Jedi."
Obi-Wan's head jerked. It can't be this easy. It must be a trick. He tightened his grip on his lightsaber and prepared for the coming assault. Maul remained standing on the ramp. Obi-Wan's brow furrowed. He lowered his lightsaber and straightened. "Maul," he said in an exasperated voice. "Let's get the show on the road. You ain't gonna kill me with that stare."
The Sith gritted his teeth. "I'm not going to kill you at all. I need your--" His voice seemed to fail.
"You need my what?" Obi-Wan couldn't imagine what Darth Maul needed from him, unless it was his heart and spleen on a dish.
"--your HELP!" Maul howled. "Help me! Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi! You're my only hope!"
"Help you? Well, okay, I guess I can give you a hand . . . Wait a minute! Is this some scheme to turn me to the Dark Side?" Obi-Wan studied the Sith suspiciously.
Darth Maul raised his hands placatingly. "No, no. It's not that. It's that handmaiden. That Woman. I must get her off my ship. She is a danger to me." And she might be one to you as well, you Light-side wuss. But that's your look-out.
Obi-Wan shrugged. "Saché? Dangerous? I always thought she was kind of sweet. And sweet on me, too, if you catch my drift. But, okay, lead me to her."
The improbable allies against the forces of womanhood entered the Infiltrator. Maul led Obi-Wan to the locked door of his sleeping chamber. "She is within," he said. "We will have to restrain her. Use the Force. She has powers you can only imagine."
"Saché is strong with the Force?" Obi-Wan asked, unbelieving.
"Not the Force. Something else. The power of an unholy lust."
"Lust? For . . . for you? Gosh, Maul, women are strange, aren't they? I never would've pegged you for a babe magnet."
Maul picked a piece of lint off his sleeve and smiled. "Kenobi, you should try the Dark Side sometime. It's not all gloom and doom. There are . . . compensations." He winked. "Some women like black leather and tattoos."
Obi-Wan's eyebrows rose. "Really? Hmmm . . . thanks for the tip."
"Use it wisely, Jedi. Now--" He gestured at the door. "Shall we? Uh, you first."
*******
Anakin peered through the viewscreen at the Infiltrator. It had been some time since Obi-Wan and Darth Maul had gone inside. He had spent the time productively, short-sheeting Obi-Wan's bunk, clipping holes in his trouser pockets, and turning every pair of the Jedi's socks inside out. Now he was bored. Oh, wait--here they were now, looking somewhat disheveled. Obi-Wan seemed to have a bloody nose, and Darth Maul was limping and cursing with every step. (Anakin mentally filed away a few choice expletives for later use.) Between them, the Sith and the Jedi carried a roiling, seething, shrieking, blanketed bundle. A foot shot out and connected with the side of Maul's head. He lost his grip on the bundle, which went down, bringing Obi-Wan with it. Saché shot out of the constricting blanket and would have gotten loose had Maul not simply
thrown himself down upon her.
"Sith and Jedi sandwich with handmaiden filling," Anakin snickered.
After struggling awkwardly for a few moments, Maul and Obi-Wan eventually managed to roll Saché back up in the blanket, whereupon Obi-Wan sat on her. "All right, Maul," he panted, wiping the blood from his nose with his sleeve. "Make your move. I can hold her for a few moments, at least."
"My thanks, Obi-Wan Kenobi." Maul bowed his head. "However, I have a final request. I ask that you kill me."
"Kill you?"
"Honor demands that I die. I sought the help of a Jedi. I cannot be indebted to a Jedi. I must die."
"No, Maul. The Jedi Code forbids it. But, there is something you can do for me that will erase the debt. Th-that . . . incident . . . at the melting pit. I would be grateful if you did not mention it to anyone. If Yoda found out, bantha poo-doo I would be."
Maul smirked. "And how do I explain my existence, Jedi?"
"Oh, I don't know! Couldn't you just make up some story about Zabrakians having the ability to regenerate?"
Maul was impressed. "A fine lie, Jedi. And one that will serve to intimidate my enemies. Kenobi, we are even then. However, should we meet another time--"
Obi-Wan nodded. "No quarter. None asked, none given."
"MAUL!" Saché shrieked from beneath Obi-Wan, as the realization of their bargain struck her. "You can't do this to me! You can't leave me like this! I'll find you--I know where you live! I'll come for you. I'll track you down to the ends of the galaxy!"
Obi-Wan watched in amazement as Darth Maul's face paled. The Sith staggered weakly backward, never taking his eyes off the raging handmaiden.
"Maul, come back here!" Saché demanded furiously. She began to struggle in her blanket-cocoon, kicking and flailing. Obi-Wan used the Force to restrain her, as Maul hastened into his ship and sped away from Naboo.
Obi-Wan stared thoughtfully after Darth Maul. He guessed the Sith would make tracks for the far side of the galaxy and remain there as long as possible. It might be a while before the Council heard that Maul was still alive. He smiled. The Force was still with him.
"Well--" Obi-Wan turned his attention to Saché, who had ceased to struggle as soon as the Infiltrator had left the hangar. He peeled the blanket back and squinted at her face. "Let me guess . . . 'Ruby Riot'?" Saché nodded sullenly. "Any left?"
"A bit."
"Shall we head for Coruscant? If we hurry, the Chancellor-Elect's inauguration can take place tomorrow morning. I'll be glad to have him in office. Things will be changing for the better."
Saché nodded again. Obi-Wan rose to his feet and helped the handmaiden to hers. As they headed for the waiting starship, Saché studied the Jedi from the corner of her eye and smiled. She reached out a finger and lightly touched the cleft in his chin. "So, have you got a girl, Obi-Wan? A wife? A concubine? Fiancée? Significant other? POSSLQ?"
Obi-Wan smiled weakly as he wondered exactly how far it was to the far side of the galaxy.
END