We'll be delving into the psychological trauma soon...not this chapter, but soon...patience, my pretties. =^_^= Shounen-ai 1x2, angst and suffering ahead. Rated R for language and mild gore.

A.N.All, I repeat, ALL of the text in italics, excepting single words in other people's dialogue, but including the dream/memory sequence, are Heero's thoughts. =^_~= Didja get all that? Good.

Disclaimer #1: I don't own GW...*cries*...but if I DID own it, things would be SO different, but then again if "ifs and buts" were candy and nuts, we'd all weigh 300 pounds, so there. =P

Disclaimer #2: I was an English major, so when I write, I write wordy. You have been warned. =P

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Amazingly, Duo had run out of things to talk to Heero about in the first half hour after the others left to get help. He'd talked about basketball, fly fishing, the latest album by some metal band Heero had never heard of, the peculiarities of different brands of toothpaste, fun things to do in the jungle when you're bored, and even the broken weather machine back on L2 which, Duo claimed, once made it rain marshmallows for an entire hour when he was a child. Anything to avoid the topic of being slowly crushed, starved, choked and bled to death all at once.

Heero wasn't buying it. Why is he wasting oxygen trying to distract me from the pain? If he thinks he can make hurt less, he's wrong. If he's using up the air to help me die quicker, I wish he'd shoot me instead.

Now there was an interesting thought. Heero had been lying on something uncomfortable, but he'd been in too much pain to care what it was. If Duo's inane prattle had accomplished one thing, it made him think twice about dismissing the object as a rock. His precious gun was still tucked into the waistband of his trousers, digging into his spine.

He decided this would be his escape when he finally convinced the others to leave. Even if they refused, the remoteness of their location made it less likely that help would arrive before he bled to death.

Reminded of his injuries, he looked over at Duo. The erstwhile Good Samaritan was sitting up against the newly-formed wall, with his feet stretched out next to Heero's right ear. His right hand was clamped over the visible part of the wound on the near leg, pressing a thick, sterilized cotton pad on it to soak up the blood. He couldn't put enough pressure on the wound to stop the bleeding entirely because of the fractures; plus, when he had tried earlier, it was hideously painful. Heero didn't let it show, but Duo could tell.

He forced his gaze up Duo's arm and looked directly into his eyes. Duo's smile tore a hole through Heero's chest a mile wide. He had an awful feeling that this was the one person who would never abandon him...but why did it bother him so much now?

What's wrong with me? We're both soldiers, we knew the risks coming down here...we're trained to accept whatever must be done for the sake of the mission. But he won't let me. Him and his stupid, misplaced optimism, he'll take the gun out of my hand, he'll make me suffer through this pain until the last possible moment! Can't he see how agonizing it is!?

He looked up at the ever-present smile. Duo could smile through the Apocalypse; it was a cleverly-designed mask that could withstand almost any attack without changing a bit. Out of the blue, he started thinking about his own mask, the one he used every day without officially acknowledging it's existence.

No...he can't see how much it hurts...because I don't want him to see. He didn't realize he was staring until Duo casually looked away, lifting the cotton pad gently to examine the wound's progress. Even if he put the gun in my hand and dared me to do it, I couldn't. Not with him in the same room, the bullet could ricochet off these walls and... Excuses, excuses. Heero looked away with a pain in his eyes that had nothing to do with his injuries. An occasional truth could do the same damage as a hundred thousand bullets.

...I can't do it with him watching.

When the pain became insufferable, when delerium and shock began chipping away at his orderly mind, when it would eventually become apparent that his only future would be a slow, agonizing death, outside of battle and without one scrap of honour...not even then could he pull the trigger.

Because I don't want to hurt him.

"Heero?"

He looked back at his friend. "I wasn't falling asleep."

"Good." Duo smirked. "You do whatever you have to do, to stay conscious. You're not slipping into shock on my watch, no way. I'd tell you to count the ceiling tiles but, um...well, just use your imagination." He gazed up at the ceiling and a drop of water hit him right in the eye. "Ackgh...yeah, I'm imagining ceiling tiles right now...fluorescent purple ones with those glow-in-the-dark plastic sticky stars, and..."

Heero let him ramble on some more. If it made the baka feel better, who was he to question? He took the opportunity to glance over his thoughts of the last ten minutes...unusual thoughts for the Perfect Soldier to be having, of that there was no doubt. He ran through his mind all the missions in the past that had very nearly required the ultimate sacrifice--he never thought like this then. If you started getting in the way of the mission, you had to go; it was just another part of the job. That's why their Gundams had self-destruct buttons. That's why they occasionally carried cyanide tablets. It was part of the job.

Why have I never thought this way before?

Strange shuffling sounds to his right pulled Heero out of his reverie. Duo was muttering and searching through the pile of assorted junk that used to reside in his backpack. After less than a minute, he found what he was looking for.

"A-ha! Gotcha!" Triumphantly, he held a bundle of shiny, rectuangular objects into the beam of light coming from the halogen lamp, which was sitting on the ground facing up. He twisted them around in the light one by one, studying their surfaces. "Okay, dinnertime!"

"I beg your pardon?" Heero choked out, in too much pain to bother hiding his surprise.

Duo opened one of the foil-wrapped rectangles and sniffed it, smiling. "Ahhhhh...dried fruit bars, food of the gods." He chuckled at Heero's adorably bemused expression. "Q-Man helped me pick these out, see, 'cause nobody really likes emergency rations anyway, and besides, they're all buried over there somewhere..." He waved a hand in the general direction of the rock wall far to the left.

"Hn." Heero hated to admit it to himself, but Duo's frivolity with the supplies was actually going to be useful. At least the others would have some fuel to run off of...that is, if they ever saw sense and decided to run.

Duo took a big bite of his fruit bar. "Mmmmmmm...what kind do you want, Hee-chan? I've got apple-grape, apple-raspberry, apple-strawberry, apple-apricot..."

Heero scowled. What kind do I want? Baka, you can't waste precious supplies on a dying man. "Duo..."

"...apple-wildberry, apple...uh...something unpronounceable...looks good though..."

"Duo, wait a minute."

"I wonder what's with all the apples, though. Are apples, like, the glue that holds all other fruits together?"

"Duo!"

The supreme effort it took to yell was worth it; Duo stopped reading food labels and looked at Heero, eyes wide. "What?"

They sat there in a stunned silence for awhile, until scraping noises came from the tunnel. Duo rose and picked up the lantern. Whoever was coming had no light with them, and was fumbling down the crevice by touch alone. Heero prepared to make a grab for his gun in case it was the enemy. Duo shone the light down the passage. "Halt! Who goes there?"

"Put the light down, Maxwell, I can't see." Wufei had an arm draped over his eyes when he emerged. Duo put the lamp back down where it had been sitting and led Wufei over by his free hand, waiting for his eyes to adjust.

"Did you make radio contact?" Duo asked without preamble.

Wufei looked tired, frustrated, and angry all at once. "No. We couldn't even get outside. The entrance has caved in completely, and it's going to take some time to dig ourselves out, if we can dig out at all."

Duo's shoulders slumped noticeably. "Great..."

"The thought occurred to me that there might be another way out," Wufei continued. "Do you have the map?"

Heero removed the folded paper from his shirt pocket and handed it up to Wufei. "It won't do much good, this is the only tunnel marked on it. If you start now and work together, you might still be able to clear the entrance. Fumbling around in unmarked tunnels will only waste time."

"Yeah, and besides that, more of them could've collapsed, and we might spend the next three hours finding more dead ends," Duo added, crouching next to his gear. He gathered up two handfuls of the fruit bars and walked back to Wufei. "Here, take these up with you," he said, counting out six bars. "This is our only food supply, so make 'em last." He pushed them into Wufei's hands, then turned to search for something else. "Heero, where's your pack? You had the water, right?"

Wufei stared at the back of Duo's head wide-eyed, as if to say 'I came all this way in the dark, and you're not even coming back with me? Lazy-ass!' He looked down at Heero and remembered with a sigh why he had left Trowa and Quatre to their own devices on the way up. That was the bitter burden of being the odd man out, one always had to give other couples their space. Not that he'd ever seen evidence that Duo and Heero needed that kind of space, but he preferred not to ask.

Ignoring the stifling silence, Duo scoured the floor and finally spotted Heero's pack lying in a far corner with half it's contents spilled onto the ground. There were two one-litre bottles of water, both thankfully intact; he picked them up and handed one to Wufei. "You haven't got your flashlight with you?" he asked.

"I left it with the others so they could see what they're doing. They started working on the entrance when I left...are you..."

"Staying here," Duo said resolutely. He sat down next to Heero's right shoulder, tucking his legs underneath him. "Now, you'll need a light if you're going to carry all that up with you, do you want mine? There's still emergency candles here, and--" Duo was cut off by a hand on his knee. Heero was looking up at him, and had just enough strength to bend his arm at the elbow.

"Duo...you go too," he whispered.

"Nuh-uh, Heero, someone's gotta keep you awake, and I know I annoy you more than anything, so I'm the logical choice, right?" he said with a grin. Gently lifting Heero's hand off his knee, while ignoring the firey sparks his touch sent through his system, he picked up the flashlight and stood up to fasten it to Wufei's shoulder strap.

Heero's silence worried Wufei immensely; he thought surely by now the Wing pilot would be objecting fiercely to Duo staying behind, perhaps uttering one of those long and impressive strings of Japanese curses that only came out on special occasions. But instead, he was lying there, quite docile as his second in command blatantly defied orders. Maybe he was sicker than he was letting on, or maybe the two of them really did need that 'extra space'. Heero might have a few choice words stored up that were for Duo's ears alone. Either way, after a brief exchange of verbal assurances with Duo, Wufei left quietly and very disconcerted, back up the tunnel.

Heero waited until he felt Wufei would be out of earshot to start nagging his companion. "Duo, how many of those fruit bars did you give him?"

Surprised by this odd question, Duo answered quickly without thinking. "Six, why?" He lit an emergency candle from his pack and set it between them.

"How many did you bring?"

"Ten. I sent them six, I ate one, so I get one more and there's two left for--" Duo stopped when he saw Heero's disapproving glare. "Oh, come on!"

"You can't waste rations on me in this condition. I won't allow it. I won't eat."

Duo crouched and leaned over until his face was a scant inch away from Heero's. How does one trick a stubborn child into cleaning his plate? "I'll hold your nose if I have to."

"Fine, then I just won't breathe," Heero said evenly.

Duo threw himself back on the ground. "Argh! You...are...infuriating!!" Another cold drop of water hit Heero in the chest, as soon as the words were out. They laid there, staring at the ceiling, until the next drop hit Heero in the face. Duo was getting fed up with that weird drip-drip-drip-splat noise, and sat up to investigate. "What IS that?"

Squinting and bringing the candle closer, Duo finally saw the thin, dirty streaks of water on Heero's face. He stared straight ahead, deliberately avoiding Duo's eyes.

"How long has that been dripping on you?" Duo asked, looking up to find the water source and getting smacked in the nose by the next droplet in line. "As long as you've been lying there, right?"

No answer.

"Silent treatment, huh?" He looked back down at Heero. "All right, if you're gonna act like a child, I'm gonna treat you like one." He pulled his sleeve over his hand, and grabbing the crown of Heero's head with the other, he proceeded to wipe off the water and mud. He didn't get very far in this project before his victim started fighting back; one hand was in Duo's face, pushing his head back, and the other wrapped itself around his braid and was pulling hard. They fought each other off valiantly, fists and insults flying in all directions until they broke apart and fell back to the ground, panting and coughing.

Heero recovered first. "This is ridiculous. Get up that tunnel and dig yourself out now!"

Duo got up and paced back and forth a few times; he was on the verge of saying something really regrettable, but he didn't. Instead he took it out on his empty backpack, kicking it across the cave with a yell.

While he thought Duo wasn't watching, Heero let a hand slip to the back of his head and winced. Falling on the hard floor over and over really hurt, even though it paled in comparison to what his legs were going through. Still, it was something new to focus on. He rubbed the back of his head gingerly, watching Duo and putting his hand down quickly as soon as he turned around.

Not quick enough; Duo caught it. "What do I have to do to get you to bitch and moan about the pain, huh?" He picked up the lightly abused backpack and sat on Heero's left side. He lifted his friend's upper body off the ground and put the backpack under his head, cushioning it. "You'll do anything to avoid looking remotely human...I'll bet you're kicking yourself for letting us find you in the first place."

Heero just stared into those amethyst pools, praying that his stoic mask was still in one piece. You fight so hard, care so much...why waste it on me?

Duo let one arm linger under Heero's back for a moment, taking note that the boy's temperature was starting to drop. The scent of blood in the room had increased; the bleeding hadn't stopped. Duo considered the implications of leaving Heero in this condition, the way he was talking. At the moment, he was quite calm, as if strangely relaxed by the feel of Duo's arm around his shoulders. Heero found the closeness so intoxicating, since he could finally feel something besides pain, that he wasn't paying attention to the arm itself, and was too slow to stop a minor disaster from occurring.

Duo slid his hand down Heero's back and grabbed the pistol tucked into his waistband. He yanked it out and then scrambled out of Heero's reach before the shocked boy could react.

Furious, Heero stretched his near arm out in a futile attempt to snatch his weapon back from the braided bandit. "Give that back!"

"You're slipping, you know that? You're reeeeally slipping," Duo said, setting the gun down far to Heero's right, where he had no hope of reaching it. "I'm not leaving you here armed and dangerous, not a chance." He got up and made his way to the tunnel. "And since you really don't want me here, I won't make you suffer any more than you already are by having to look at my ugly mug, okay?"

As if on cue, an icy drop of water hit Heero in the chest. He was sure it felt more like someone punching him straight to the heart. He looked away. I DO want you here...

Prepared to disappear from Heero's sight, Duo turned and looked back at him. "Oi..." Their eyes met eventually. Duo looked over at the gun, then back at Heero. "You weren't, were you?"

"Of course not," Heero answered flatly.

Duo tore his eyes away painfully. "Liar." And with that he was gone.

After a few minutes alone, Heero reached out to his right, and pinched the lit wick of the emergency candle, extinguishing it. No sense in wasting this either. He was a liar, even to himself...especially to himself. He wouldn't admit that it was just plain easier, in the pitch blackness, to imagine that his friend was still there.


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=*_*= This is just the tip of the angst iceberg. Something dreadful is coming, in a few chapters...but in the meantime, you're welcome to skip on over to my other stories for awhile. =^_~= *hinthint-winkwink*