Disclaimer: I don't own Zelda, Mario, or Mulan

Disclaimer: I don't own Zelda, Mario, or Mulan. (As much as I would like to!)

Act One

[A soldier walks around his post on top of a huge wall. Suddenly, a bird of prey hits the back of his head.]

Soldier:
Ah!

[The hawk lets out a call. The soldier walks over to the edge of the wall. A hook comes flying up, followed by many more.]

Soldier:
(Running back to his post)
We're under attack! Light the signal!

[The door opens, revealing a couple of Gerudo. The soldier climbs up the ladder.]

Soldier:
(Lighting the signal with a torch, while staring at the Gerudo
leader; other signals go on all the way along the wall)

Now everyone knows you're here.

Ganondorf:
(Picking up a flag and toasting it in the signal fire)
Perfect.

***

[General Rauru and two soldiers walk into King Toad's chamber and bow.]

Rauru:
Your Majesty, the Gerudo have crossed our Northern Border.

Ingo:
Impossible! No one can get through the wall!
(He is silenced with a raised hand from King Toad])

Rauru:
Ganondorf is leading them. We'll set up defenses around your castle immediately.

King Toad:
No!
(Standing up)
Send your troops to protect my people! Ingo!

Ingo:
Yes, your Highness.

King Toad:
Deliver notices throughout all the land.
Call up reserves, and as many new recruits as possible.

Rauru:
Forgive me, your Majesty, but I believe my troops can stop him.

King Toad:
I won't take any chances, General. A single pint of milk can tip the scale; one man may be the
difference between victory and defeat.

***

Malon:
(Using a Deku stick to balance a pint of milk)
Quiet and demure ... graceful, polite, delicate, refined, poised ...
(She picks up a paintbrush and makes a mark on her arm)
... punctual!
[A cucco crows]

Aaiee!
(Blowing on her arm)
Poochie! Poochie! Pooch--
(She glances down at a sleeping dog on the floor)
Ah! There you are!
[The dog wakes up]
Who's the smartest doggy in the world? C'mon,
smart boy! Can you help me with my chores today?

[She ties a sack of chicken feed to his back, complete with a pole and a bone attached. Poochie immediately chases the bone, running promptly into a wall and then out the door, scattering grain everywhere.]

Talon:
(Praying)
Honorable Ancestors ... please help Malon impress the Matchmaker today.
[Poochie, followed by a herd of cuccos, bursts into the family temple.]
Please, please help her.

Malon:
Father, I brought you some ... Whoop!
(Bangs into Talon, he catches the milk jug on his cane while the cups hit the ground and shatter.)

Talon:
Malon ...

Malon:

(Bringing out another cup)
I brought a spare!

Talon:
Malon ...

Malon:
Remember, the doctor said three cups of milk in the morning ...

Talon:
Malon.

Malon:
... and three at night.

Talon:
Malon. You should already be in town. We're counting on you to-

Malon:
Uphold the family honor. Don't worry, Father. I won't let you down. Wish me luck!

Talon:
Hurry! I'm going to... pray some more.