ACT THREE

Act Three

(Inside the house)

Madam Dutour:
Too skinny ... not good for bearing sons.

[Yoshi hops out of his cage, Malon frantically tries to put him back in.]

Madam Dutour:
Recite the Final Admonition.

Malon:
Mmm-hmm-hmm ...
(Pulls out a paper fan and spits Yoshi out)

Madam Dutour:
Well?

Malon:
Fulfill your duties, calmly and ...
(Glances down at the notes written on her arm, which are smeared slightly.)
respectively. Um, reflect before you ... snack. Act! This shall bring you honor and glory.

[She fans herself, Madam Dutour grabs the fan and searches it for cheat notes. Finding none, she grabs Malon by the arm and pulls her toward a table. The writing comes off in her hand.]

Madam Dutour:
This way. Now, pour the milk. To please your future
in-laws, you must demonstrate a sense of dignity
(She rubs her hand over her mouth, and the ink rubs off with a squeak)
and refinement. You must also be poised.

[Malon, staring at the now black-faced Matchmaker, pours the milk but is distracted by the markings and misses the cup, then regains her composure and quickly fills it. Malon notices Yoshi relaxing happily in the milk. Madam Dutour takes the cup, and is about
to sip it.]

Malon:
Um, pardon me ...

Madam Dutour:
And silent!
(Sniffs the milk)

Ah ...

Malon:
Could I just take that back? One moment ...

[She grabs for the cup. Madam Dutour fights for the cup, and they both fall back, the milk spilling all over Madam Dutour. Yoshi hops down her dress.]

Madam Dutour:
Why, you clumsy! ... Oh! Ah! Woo!

[She trips over the fire-pot, spilling the coals and then sitting on them, the bottom of her dress smoking. Malon desperately fans the burned spot, and it bursts into flames. Madam Dutour runs around screaming.]

(Outside)

Granny Impa:
(To Ralon, after hearing the screams and seeing smoke.)
I think it's going well, don't you?

[Madam Dutour runs outside, screaming.]

Madam Dutour:
Put it out! Put it out! PUT IT OUT!

[Malon throws milk over her, putting out the fire. Embarrassed, she hands the milk jug to Madam Dutour and quickly walks toward Ralon and Granny Impa.]

Madam Dutour:
(Furious)
You are a DISGRACE! You may look like a bride, but you will NEVER bring your family honor!

[People start to walk away, whispering.]

***