Act Eight
(Inside Malon's tent, Tatl picks up Yoshi and uses him for an alarm clock.)
Tatl:
All right, rise and shine, Sleeping Beauty! C'mon, hup, hup, hup!
(Malon pulls the blanket over her, and Tatl pulls it off.)
Tatl:
Get your clothes on, get ready! Got breakfast ready.
Look, you get porridge! And it's happy to see you!
(Yoshi is resting happily in the bowl of porridge; Tatl uses a fork to fish him out.)
Tatl:
Hey, get out of there! You're gonna make people sick!
Malon:
Am I late?
Tatl:
(Stuffs porridge in her mouth)
No time to talk. Now, remember, it's your first day of training, so listen to your teacher and no fighting, play nice with the other kids, unless, of course, the other kids want to fight, then you gotta kick the other kid's butt.
Malon:
But I don't want to kick the other kids' butts.
Tatl:
Don't talk with your mouth full. Now let's see your war face.
(Malon looks at Tatl, her mouth full of porridge.)
Tatl:
Oh, I think my bunny hood just ran for cover. C'mon, scare me, girl!
Malon:
Rrrrraaaaarrrgggghhhhh!
Tatl:
That's my tough looking warrior! That's what I'm
talking about! Now, get out there and make me proud!
[Epona neighs frantically]
Tatl:
What do you mean, the troops just left?
Malon:
They WHAT?
(She rushes out of the tent)
Tatl:
Wait, you forgot your sword!
(Sniffs)
My little baby, off to destroy people ...
[At the camp]
Ingo:
Order! People, order!
Soldier:
I'd like a pizza!
Darunia:
Rocks, please.
Ingo:
That's not funny.
Luigi:
Looks like our new friend slept in this morning. Why, hello, Mido, Are yous hungry?
Wario:
Yeah, cause I owe you a knuckle sandwich.
Link:
Soldiers! You will assemble swiftly and silently, every
morning. Anyone who does otherwise, will answer to me.
(He takes off his shirt, and Malon stares in awe.)
Wario:
Ooh, tough guy.
Link:
(Pulls out a bow and arrow and aims it at Wario, then
at the top of a high pole in the middle of the camp.)
Wario. Thank you for volunteering. Retrieve the arrow.
Wario:
I'll get that arrow, pretty boy, and I'll do it with my shirt on.
(He walks over to the pole and prepares to climb up it.)
Link:
One moment, you seem to be missing something.
(He pulls two giant medals out of a box.)
This represents disipline. And this represents strength. You need both to reach the arrow.
(He ties them around Wario's wrists, and all the soldiers
after him, but none of them can make it to the arrow.)
Link:
We've got a long way to go.
**Beginning of Song: "I'll Make a Man Out of You."**
Link:
Let's get down to business
To defeat the Gerudo
Did they send me daughters
When I asked for sons?
You're the saddest bunch
I ever met, but you can bet
Before we're through
Mister, I'll make a man
Out of you.
Tranquil as a forest
But on fire within
Once you find your center
You are sure to win
You're a spineless, pale, pathetic lot
And you can bet before we're through
Mister, I'll make a man out of you.
Darunia:
I'm never gonna catch my breath
Wario:
Say good-bye to those who knew me
Luigi:
Boy I was a fool in school for cutting gym
Tatl:
This guy's got 'em scared to death
Malon:
I hope he doesn't see right through me
Darunia:
Now I really wish that I knew how to swim
[As the song progresses, the army is being trained.]
All:
Be a man
We must be swift as a coursing river
Be a man
With all the force of a great typhoon
Be a man
With all the strength of a raging fire
Mysterious as the dark side of the moon
Link:
Time is racing t'ward us
Till the Gerudo arrive
Heed my every order
And you might survive
(To Malon)
You're unsuited for the rage of war
So pack up, go home, you're through
How could I make a man out of you
All:
[Malon is determined to stay in the army, so she tries again to get the arrow, but fails again. She then gets an idea, and uses the weights to her advantage, by tying them together and using them to boost herself up the pole. She shoots the arrow at Link's feet.]
Be a man
We must be swift as a coursing river
Be a man
With all the force of a great typhoon
Be a man
With all the strength of a raging fire
Mysterious as the dark side of the moon
Be a man
We must be swift as a coursing river
Be a man
With all the force of a great typhoon
Be a man
With all the strength of a raging fire
Mysterious as the dark side of the moon!
**End of Song**
***
