DisClaimer: I don't own Escaflowne or any of the people in it. Please
don't sue. My first fanfic tell me what you think.:0)
-------------------
Chapter 7: Lost Soul
-------------------
-Rush headlong and hard at life
Or just sit at home and wait.
All things good and all the wrong
Will come right to you: it's fate.
Hear the music, dance if you can.
Dress in rags or wear your jewels.
Drink your choice, nurse your fear
In this old honkytonk of fools.-
-Counted Book of Sorrows-
-------------------
I sat alone in my room and ate dinner. I felt like being alone.
Only a few hours earlier he kissed me. I wanted not to dwell on it, i
was glad there was a knock at the door. I got up to answer and Miguel
was standing there. " We are off for the weekend and a few of us were
going to go to Salom's Temple, and we were wondering if you would like
to go "? he asked. I said ok and then closed the door. What else did
i have to do? If i didn't go i would dwell again, and talk to myself.
I am so very disturbed......
-------------------
Salom's Temple near Freid
-------------------
When Miguel said only a few of us were going, i did not know he
meant all of us except Folken, even Dilandau came. So we took the tour,
which lasted more than 3 hours. I thought i would fall asleep. We were
on a lunch break and i was near the entrance looking at an amazing
tapestry. One of the temple's priests came over to me. " Beautiful
isn't it "? He said smiling at the tapestry. " Yes it is " i said
admiring it. " Do you believe all life is connected " he asked me,
never taking his eyes off the colors of the tapestry. " I don't know "
i looked at him wondering what he meant. " Before you embark on this
new journey, you must first consider your past " He said. " I said
" I am afraid i don't understand ". " Your not whole child. You must
first accept your past mistakes before you can accept your destiny.
Right now your a lost soul trying to stay afloat in a dangerous way.
You struggle with your inner thoughts, you hesitate to just accept
things as the way they are, rather; you dwell on them, and way they
could have been. Follow your heart and you will be whole again. Accept
your fate, and all will reveal itself in due time". I turned to look
at him but he was gone. Something new to ponder. my destiny... My fate.
Dilandau walks up to me with a concerned look on his face. I told
him everything is fine and i would see him later. He said " Will you
walk with me, i want to tell you something". " i looked at him
perplexed but said i would walk with him. We walked outside to a
beautiful garden full of roses. We sat down on this small bench. No
chance of running, can't get away now. I will listen to him for the
moment, maybe he will be nice to me.
I was not prepared for what he told me. " Atrea ( he held my hand )
i have wanted to tell you something for awhile now. Ok so i will just
say it. I LOVE YOU ". Emotionally i became overwelmed and i could not
process what he just said. My instincts kicked in before i could think.
i said " Thank you " and ran out of there as fast as possible. I did
not stop running until i got back to my room. I locked myself in and
put my back to the door sliding down to the floor. I started crying and
i could not stop. About an hour later i went to my bed and fell asleep.
I am disturbed.
-------------------
Dilandau
-------------------
I am an idiot, why did i tell her how i was feeling. I know that i
do love her. She said THANK YOU and ran. I should not have told her.
Stupid...Stupid... Stupid....
-------------------
-Love is but a broken dream,
A touch of her soft face,
And a tear.
Love is but a red rose,
A bleeding thorn,
And a smile.-
- Mikaila Allen copyright 1990 -
-------------------
2 months later
-------------------
Atrea I couldn't sleep again. I had some much to process. I spend
everyday no every waking hour training and avoiding him... i don't
mean too. In fact i am in love with him too. Everytime i see him, it
breaks my heart. I don't understand why. I am laying here with my eyes
closed and i can hear him breathing. He is in my room right now like
he is almost every night. He watches me sleep. I guess it brings him
some peace, me as well because i am near him. I never open my eyes. I
Just lay there listening to him breathe. He only stays about an hour,
then leaves just as quiety as he came. I can't bring myself to open my
eyes. I am afraid of my feelings for him. I am scared about the what
if's. I try to accept things as they are but i am brought back to my
damaged heart. The only boyfriend i ever had cheated on me for 2 years.
I was in love with him too. He broke me and i don't know if i can ever
accept love and trust again.
the next night I lay here again. I can't sleep. I can feel my
eyes start to water. My eyes are in full flood mode now. I know he is
there i can hear him breathing. I am quietly crying. I have never done
this before when he is in the room, watching me. Silent tears. I can
hear get out of the chair, he kneels on the floor next to the bed and
says nothing. He wipes my tears away. I sit up and reach for him with
my eyes closed. He returns my embrace. I can smell his hair, his scent
of roses. He kisses me on my forehead, then on my neck, then my lips.
He whispers " Will you marry me "? I nod yes. we kiss then make love.
I woke up and he wasn't there, it was still a few hours before the
morning sunrise. I was wearing my bed clothes again. I can't remember
putting them back on. I look at my finger and there lies a ring. A
simple silver band with a dragon shaped garnet in the center. It was
real. Even if i was dreaming i never wanted to wake up.
Dilandau talks with Folken " Folken, last night i asked Atrea to
marry me and she said yes " Dilandau said very happy. " You did? That's
great, i am happy for you both ". Folken stated smiling also.
I was on cloud nine. I finally understood what the priest was
saying to me. It was like he could see into my soul. He told me that
once i accepted my destiny i would be whole. I feel whole. This has
to be what he was talking about. The day went pretty smooth, Dilandau
and i were smiling at each other and exchanging glances. I cannot
remember a more happy time. Until.....
Announcement " All Dragon Slayers i repeat all Dragon Slayers to
the conference room now ". Folken Stated. When we all got there,
Folken said that Emperor Dornkirk has announced that he has found the
key to everyone's happiness. He said it, lies in his fate alteration
machine. He need the Dragon that shadows his site. We were to begin
training with the new stealth cloaks as soon as possible. We needed to
be ready to retrieve the Dragon in 2 months time. I had no idea what
he meant. Folken spent the better part of the day explaining it all
to me. I got the sum of things. There was a lot i still did not
understand but that was ok.
-------------------
Training Room a month later
-------------------
I had been feeling really hot all day. Yesterday Dilandau said
that after we retrieve the Dragon we could get married. I was happy
only 2 months to go until wedded bliss. We both agreed to wait before
making love again so we could concentrate on the training. I enter the
training room, i felt flushed, i wore a tank top to try to not feel
so hot. It didn't help though. By now everyone had seen my sun tatoo.
I felt comfortable around the slayers. I knew i was among friends and
they didn't ask too many questions about it. I was finally happy. I
passed out. I woke up in the medical room. I really needed water. My
lack of eating lately had taken it's toll on me. I was spending more
time training than sleeping or eating. Dilandau was worried but i let
him know i was ok. It was so cute how he fussed over me. Even though
i could kick his ass and then some.
--------------------
Melef training last day
--------------------
Today was the last day for melef training, 2 days until our
wedding. The mission was easy. Go to Fanelia and retrieve the Dragon.
Simple and easy. We were all fighting each other on a clear grass
field. We were having a lot of fun. I opened my melef unit to make
fun of Chesta who fell out of his unit, when a white pillar of light
came down on me and started to take me away. I saw Dilandau jump out
of his melef unit and run towards the light. I was yelling No. NO. No
i won't go back to earth, please leave me here. I begged I pleaded.
I WANT TO STAY HERE!!!!!!!. I heard Dilandau screaming trying to grab
my hand, it was too late. I was sent home against my will. I hated
the gods for doing this to me.
-------------------
I woke up in a hospital near my home. The doctor looked at me and
asked " Do you remember where you have been all this time "? I knew
where i had been. I did not want to be here. I wanted to go back or
die trying. I could not live without my love. " No " I lied. All i
needed was, to be named a mental patient. " Hmm i see, do you know
what day it is "? he asked me. " No " i replied truthfully. " Do you
remember your name "? He asked. " Of course i do, Atrea Dece Midori "
i said. My throat hurt a lot. " Well at least you remeber that much "
he said. " What do you mean?" I asked. " You disappeared almost a year
ago, a friend of yours reported you missing ". He said sadly. He then
asked " What is the last thing you remember?". I thought about it. I
knew the last thing i remembered, watching Dilandau screaming NO.
" i remember being in New york for a competition ". I lied. I then
said " My head really hurts ". I lied about that too. I figured if
he thought i hit my head i would have amnesia and would stop asking
questions. " Well you have partial amnesia, it is where you can
remember basic things about yourself, but not events ". I knew where
i was, i know where i had been. If i told him he would think i was
going mental. I did not know how to feel. I am home. I felt lost
again. I need Dilandau. " Atrea " the doctor said. " yes " i said
looking up at him. " Did you know your 2 months pregnant "? " No "
i said. I was shocked. But the timing. The only night we..... I have
to get back to him. I had to. I would find a way. I am carrying our
child. " Doctor, when can i be released "? i asked meekly. " In about
2 hours, you are healthy it shouldn't be a problem". he stated. He went
on to say " Do you have somewhere to go "? " Yes " i replied. I have
a lot of money in a trust account". " Very well then, i will get
your release processed ". He said and left. I am glad he did not ask
any more questions. I could not answer them right now. I could not cry.
All i could do was lay there in shock. I didn't care how i was found.
Or by whom. All i cared about was going home to Dilandau.
I still had my ring on my finger.
-------------------
Dilandau had a mental breakdown and the Sorcerors took him away,
to do another fate alteration. Folken could do nothing. Dilandau came
back a week later, remembering nothing. This Dilandau was different.
He was violent and unstable. No one spoke of Atrea for fear he would
hurt them. Not that he would remember her, but because he would slap
them for no reason. That week Fanelia Burned..... And you know who
came to Gaea for Series 1-26.
-------------------
-The past is but a beginning of a beginning, and all that is
and has been is but the twilight of the dawn.-
-H.G. Wells-
-------------------
Upcoming Chapters- Atrea comes back to Gaea, but it is 2 months
after the Great war. She finds Celena, will she be remembered now
that all her close friends are dead. What about the baby that is due
in about 3 months. I have already given too much away.
don't sue. My first fanfic tell me what you think.:0)
-------------------
Chapter 7: Lost Soul
-------------------
-Rush headlong and hard at life
Or just sit at home and wait.
All things good and all the wrong
Will come right to you: it's fate.
Hear the music, dance if you can.
Dress in rags or wear your jewels.
Drink your choice, nurse your fear
In this old honkytonk of fools.-
-Counted Book of Sorrows-
-------------------
I sat alone in my room and ate dinner. I felt like being alone.
Only a few hours earlier he kissed me. I wanted not to dwell on it, i
was glad there was a knock at the door. I got up to answer and Miguel
was standing there. " We are off for the weekend and a few of us were
going to go to Salom's Temple, and we were wondering if you would like
to go "? he asked. I said ok and then closed the door. What else did
i have to do? If i didn't go i would dwell again, and talk to myself.
I am so very disturbed......
-------------------
Salom's Temple near Freid
-------------------
When Miguel said only a few of us were going, i did not know he
meant all of us except Folken, even Dilandau came. So we took the tour,
which lasted more than 3 hours. I thought i would fall asleep. We were
on a lunch break and i was near the entrance looking at an amazing
tapestry. One of the temple's priests came over to me. " Beautiful
isn't it "? He said smiling at the tapestry. " Yes it is " i said
admiring it. " Do you believe all life is connected " he asked me,
never taking his eyes off the colors of the tapestry. " I don't know "
i looked at him wondering what he meant. " Before you embark on this
new journey, you must first consider your past " He said. " I said
" I am afraid i don't understand ". " Your not whole child. You must
first accept your past mistakes before you can accept your destiny.
Right now your a lost soul trying to stay afloat in a dangerous way.
You struggle with your inner thoughts, you hesitate to just accept
things as the way they are, rather; you dwell on them, and way they
could have been. Follow your heart and you will be whole again. Accept
your fate, and all will reveal itself in due time". I turned to look
at him but he was gone. Something new to ponder. my destiny... My fate.
Dilandau walks up to me with a concerned look on his face. I told
him everything is fine and i would see him later. He said " Will you
walk with me, i want to tell you something". " i looked at him
perplexed but said i would walk with him. We walked outside to a
beautiful garden full of roses. We sat down on this small bench. No
chance of running, can't get away now. I will listen to him for the
moment, maybe he will be nice to me.
I was not prepared for what he told me. " Atrea ( he held my hand )
i have wanted to tell you something for awhile now. Ok so i will just
say it. I LOVE YOU ". Emotionally i became overwelmed and i could not
process what he just said. My instincts kicked in before i could think.
i said " Thank you " and ran out of there as fast as possible. I did
not stop running until i got back to my room. I locked myself in and
put my back to the door sliding down to the floor. I started crying and
i could not stop. About an hour later i went to my bed and fell asleep.
I am disturbed.
-------------------
Dilandau
-------------------
I am an idiot, why did i tell her how i was feeling. I know that i
do love her. She said THANK YOU and ran. I should not have told her.
Stupid...Stupid... Stupid....
-------------------
-Love is but a broken dream,
A touch of her soft face,
And a tear.
Love is but a red rose,
A bleeding thorn,
And a smile.-
- Mikaila Allen copyright 1990 -
-------------------
2 months later
-------------------
Atrea I couldn't sleep again. I had some much to process. I spend
everyday no every waking hour training and avoiding him... i don't
mean too. In fact i am in love with him too. Everytime i see him, it
breaks my heart. I don't understand why. I am laying here with my eyes
closed and i can hear him breathing. He is in my room right now like
he is almost every night. He watches me sleep. I guess it brings him
some peace, me as well because i am near him. I never open my eyes. I
Just lay there listening to him breathe. He only stays about an hour,
then leaves just as quiety as he came. I can't bring myself to open my
eyes. I am afraid of my feelings for him. I am scared about the what
if's. I try to accept things as they are but i am brought back to my
damaged heart. The only boyfriend i ever had cheated on me for 2 years.
I was in love with him too. He broke me and i don't know if i can ever
accept love and trust again.
the next night I lay here again. I can't sleep. I can feel my
eyes start to water. My eyes are in full flood mode now. I know he is
there i can hear him breathing. I am quietly crying. I have never done
this before when he is in the room, watching me. Silent tears. I can
hear get out of the chair, he kneels on the floor next to the bed and
says nothing. He wipes my tears away. I sit up and reach for him with
my eyes closed. He returns my embrace. I can smell his hair, his scent
of roses. He kisses me on my forehead, then on my neck, then my lips.
He whispers " Will you marry me "? I nod yes. we kiss then make love.
I woke up and he wasn't there, it was still a few hours before the
morning sunrise. I was wearing my bed clothes again. I can't remember
putting them back on. I look at my finger and there lies a ring. A
simple silver band with a dragon shaped garnet in the center. It was
real. Even if i was dreaming i never wanted to wake up.
Dilandau talks with Folken " Folken, last night i asked Atrea to
marry me and she said yes " Dilandau said very happy. " You did? That's
great, i am happy for you both ". Folken stated smiling also.
I was on cloud nine. I finally understood what the priest was
saying to me. It was like he could see into my soul. He told me that
once i accepted my destiny i would be whole. I feel whole. This has
to be what he was talking about. The day went pretty smooth, Dilandau
and i were smiling at each other and exchanging glances. I cannot
remember a more happy time. Until.....
Announcement " All Dragon Slayers i repeat all Dragon Slayers to
the conference room now ". Folken Stated. When we all got there,
Folken said that Emperor Dornkirk has announced that he has found the
key to everyone's happiness. He said it, lies in his fate alteration
machine. He need the Dragon that shadows his site. We were to begin
training with the new stealth cloaks as soon as possible. We needed to
be ready to retrieve the Dragon in 2 months time. I had no idea what
he meant. Folken spent the better part of the day explaining it all
to me. I got the sum of things. There was a lot i still did not
understand but that was ok.
-------------------
Training Room a month later
-------------------
I had been feeling really hot all day. Yesterday Dilandau said
that after we retrieve the Dragon we could get married. I was happy
only 2 months to go until wedded bliss. We both agreed to wait before
making love again so we could concentrate on the training. I enter the
training room, i felt flushed, i wore a tank top to try to not feel
so hot. It didn't help though. By now everyone had seen my sun tatoo.
I felt comfortable around the slayers. I knew i was among friends and
they didn't ask too many questions about it. I was finally happy. I
passed out. I woke up in the medical room. I really needed water. My
lack of eating lately had taken it's toll on me. I was spending more
time training than sleeping or eating. Dilandau was worried but i let
him know i was ok. It was so cute how he fussed over me. Even though
i could kick his ass and then some.
--------------------
Melef training last day
--------------------
Today was the last day for melef training, 2 days until our
wedding. The mission was easy. Go to Fanelia and retrieve the Dragon.
Simple and easy. We were all fighting each other on a clear grass
field. We were having a lot of fun. I opened my melef unit to make
fun of Chesta who fell out of his unit, when a white pillar of light
came down on me and started to take me away. I saw Dilandau jump out
of his melef unit and run towards the light. I was yelling No. NO. No
i won't go back to earth, please leave me here. I begged I pleaded.
I WANT TO STAY HERE!!!!!!!. I heard Dilandau screaming trying to grab
my hand, it was too late. I was sent home against my will. I hated
the gods for doing this to me.
-------------------
I woke up in a hospital near my home. The doctor looked at me and
asked " Do you remember where you have been all this time "? I knew
where i had been. I did not want to be here. I wanted to go back or
die trying. I could not live without my love. " No " I lied. All i
needed was, to be named a mental patient. " Hmm i see, do you know
what day it is "? he asked me. " No " i replied truthfully. " Do you
remember your name "? He asked. " Of course i do, Atrea Dece Midori "
i said. My throat hurt a lot. " Well at least you remeber that much "
he said. " What do you mean?" I asked. " You disappeared almost a year
ago, a friend of yours reported you missing ". He said sadly. He then
asked " What is the last thing you remember?". I thought about it. I
knew the last thing i remembered, watching Dilandau screaming NO.
" i remember being in New york for a competition ". I lied. I then
said " My head really hurts ". I lied about that too. I figured if
he thought i hit my head i would have amnesia and would stop asking
questions. " Well you have partial amnesia, it is where you can
remember basic things about yourself, but not events ". I knew where
i was, i know where i had been. If i told him he would think i was
going mental. I did not know how to feel. I am home. I felt lost
again. I need Dilandau. " Atrea " the doctor said. " yes " i said
looking up at him. " Did you know your 2 months pregnant "? " No "
i said. I was shocked. But the timing. The only night we..... I have
to get back to him. I had to. I would find a way. I am carrying our
child. " Doctor, when can i be released "? i asked meekly. " In about
2 hours, you are healthy it shouldn't be a problem". he stated. He went
on to say " Do you have somewhere to go "? " Yes " i replied. I have
a lot of money in a trust account". " Very well then, i will get
your release processed ". He said and left. I am glad he did not ask
any more questions. I could not answer them right now. I could not cry.
All i could do was lay there in shock. I didn't care how i was found.
Or by whom. All i cared about was going home to Dilandau.
I still had my ring on my finger.
-------------------
Dilandau had a mental breakdown and the Sorcerors took him away,
to do another fate alteration. Folken could do nothing. Dilandau came
back a week later, remembering nothing. This Dilandau was different.
He was violent and unstable. No one spoke of Atrea for fear he would
hurt them. Not that he would remember her, but because he would slap
them for no reason. That week Fanelia Burned..... And you know who
came to Gaea for Series 1-26.
-------------------
-The past is but a beginning of a beginning, and all that is
and has been is but the twilight of the dawn.-
-H.G. Wells-
-------------------
Upcoming Chapters- Atrea comes back to Gaea, but it is 2 months
after the Great war. She finds Celena, will she be remembered now
that all her close friends are dead. What about the baby that is due
in about 3 months. I have already given too much away.
