I'm back. Mom has taken my sister off to the diggings. Gertie can be a handful. You'd think she would get tired of that snake trick. And you have to be careful with the poisonous ones. But what are big brothers for if not to be targets? I always wanted a brother or sister, but do they have to like snakes quite so much? Now, back to PS 118.
Rhonda sent me the latest high school class picture with all the gang. She says she always makes sure she orders extra copies. I keep it by my bed, so when I'm feeling lonely at night I can look at you. I mean, to look at all of you. I mean to look at all the gang. Anyway, back to the photo. I notice every year the class photo is the same. Rhonda always sits front row center, wearing a gorgeous dress. You can't miss her. Everyone looks a little taller or bigger each year. And I always have to hunt to find you. You're always off to the side, or hidden in the back. And you're never smiling. You always look so serious. Even mad. Can I tell you something? As a friend? You really should smile more. It's only a photo. And you really have a nice smile. I remember it. You didn't do much smiling when I was with you in PS 118, but I always thought you looked extra pretty when you did. Well, at least that's how I like to remember you.
It's great to see everyone in the photo. Not too many changes. Of course Rhonda being Rhonda, in her letter she has to criticize everyone's appearance. She likes Gerald's new goatee, but pretty much dumps over everyone else. Some things never change! She mentioned you now wear a blue hat all the time, instead of your pink ribbon. (I'm sure she's told you this to your face, but she hates the hat. Says it doesn't suit you at all. Don't worry about it. She didn't like my hat either.) I find it hard to imagine you without your ribbon. You always wore that, day in and day out, without fail when we were in school together. I can't ever remember you not wearing it, actually. I like to think you still wear it, underneath your new hat.
I have to confess it gave me a start when I saw it in the photo. It reminded me of the old blue baseball cap I used to wear. Remember that? You always made fun of it cause I never took it off. Anyway, it gave me a pang because the one you have now looks just like it. Sad to say, I lost it about the time I left Hillwood. It just disappeared on me. The morning of my flight, I woke up and it was gone. Just vanished. I can't remember if I took it off to go to sleep, or packed it away by mistake, or just misplaced it in the excitement. I never noticed until later. Well, it doesn't matter. My parents gave me the hat before they left on that ill-fated mercy flight when I was three. It was my only link with my folks. Funny I should lose it just as I regained them. I wish I could have kept my hat, but I guess it had served its purpose. It was no longer my only link to the ones I loved. So I don't really miss it.
Now that I remember, that last night before I left home was really strange. And not just because my hat disappeared. The moment I heard Mom and Dad were all right, I went wild with excitement. I didn't get any rest that whole week. By my last night in Hillwood, I was exhausted, but too excited to sleep properly. I was totally buzzed. You won't remember, but there was a storm that night, with lots of rain, and thunder and lightening. I remember thinking as I went to bed that it would be just awful to be out on a night like that. And that anyone caught in that downpour would come down with pneumonia for sure. And it sure didn't help me rest for the trip. I tossed and turned for hours. Half asleep, exhausted, and terribly worried about meeting my parents after all the time apart. Would they recognize me? Would I know them? Would we like each other? I was so scared. I think I may have talked in my sleep, or maybe had a nightmare. But it turned out OK.
Now, you're probably going to laugh at this, but that night I had a visitor. There I was, totally exhausted and almost delirious. Thunder rumbling far away. The rain beating against the skylight. The wind howling and rattling the old boarding house. Pitch black darkness suddenly lit up with jagged lightening. Suddenly I sensed this presence in the room with me. I had a vague impression of a someone standing by my bed. I was halfway insensible by this time. I could neither move or speak, I was so tired. And this is where you will laugh hardest at me. I'm sure it was an angel by my bed that night.
That's right, an angel. And though it was very dark, I had the strongest impression she was beautiful. Very beautiful. Please don't laugh. I'm not usually given to seeing visons, but this seemed as real as anything I've ever seen. And she touched me. The angel held my hand, and told me everything would turn out all right, and that I was lucky to have parents who loved me so much. Then it gave me a hug. Weird huh? Then it got weirder. It kissed me. I didn't know angels did that sort of thing. But as soon as it did, I calmed right down. I felt a great peace come over me. I suddenly knew that I was loved and cherished, and that everything would work out for the best. And I dropped off to sleep right away. I slept like a log unitl it was time to go to the airport.
Okay, maybe I dreamed it, but it seemed very real at the time. I bet you're scoffing as you read this. But I swear that's what it seemed like. Of course I was half delirious, being so tired and all. Maybe I imagined it. Maybe I was stressed out. Maybe I was off my head and as crazy as Curly. But I've never forgotten it either. She was so beautiful.
When I woke up in the morning I felt just great. I knew everything would turn out all right. It didn't even bother me that my skylight window was open, and there was a little rain coming in. My blanket was soaked. I suppose the wild storm had forced the latch loose, and the wind had blown the window open. Funny that would happen my last night. I never had problems with it before. Strange.
Well, it turned out the angel was right. Mom and Dad couldn't have been greater. I'm really lucky to have a family again. (By the way, sorry to hear about your Mom. I hope she's feeling better. She was always very nice to me when I lived in Hillwood.) I wish you could meet my parents. I hope you don't mind, but they know all about you. Couldn't help it. I told them everything about you and the gang at PS 118, and all the adventures we had together. After I told them all about my life back home, they asked all sorts of questions about all my friends. For some reason, they keep asking me about you. Dad says you would make a good jungle explorer. He has this idea that you're going to end up living a life of adventure. He says you sound like a resourceful person. I told him you were plenty tough all right.
And my Mom says she would really like to meet you. She says if we were living in Hillwood, she would have invited you over for dinner long ago. Even though they have never met you, they seem to like you for some reason. I keep talking about PS 118 and the whole gang. But I guess for some reason I keep talking about you more than most of the others. I think I gave them the wrong impression. They seem to think I was sweet on you or something. (Please, don't be angry. I know that's the last thing you would ever want. It's not my fault. It's just that parents get some goofy ideas sometimes. But no matter how many times I tried telling them that there was never anything between us, they just don't seem to believe me. And the more I protest, the more they shake their heads and smile. I mean, they're great and everything, but why do they have to embarrass me like that? But I guess it's my own fault. I can't keep my mouth shut. When you haven't seen someone for six years, you tend to talk a lot, trying to catch up.)
To be honest, Mom also asks about the other girls I knew at PS 118. If we ever go home, Mom will be inviting the whole neighborhood over for dinner. I think she does it for my sister. Did I tell you about Gertie? (Named for her grandmother.) She is nine years old now. (The same age you were when I last saw you.) And she has never been home. She has grown up here in the wild back country, and she is rather wild herself. And she is getting worse. I mean, I thought you were bad when you were nine. She's ten times worse than you ever were. You never put a snake in my bed each morning. Everytime she pulls some new stunt, I remember how you used to tease me, and I realize now how easy I had it with you. Unfortunately, she makes me remember you quite a lot. There are a lot of snakes around here.
I tell my parents that if we ever go back to Hillwood, I will introduce her to Nadine. Gertie has a bug collection you would not believe. I spend half my time looking out for her. It's nice to have family, but I never knew it involved taking so much responsibility for someone else. You are so lucky you have Olga for a big sister. It must be a great comfort to you to have someone you can turn to for comfort and support. Mom says what Gertie needs is some sort of big sister to set her an example. Someone who would be tough enough to win her respect, but smart and fun to be with. Show her how to be strong and responsible, but still lady-like. I don't know, sounds pretty impossible to me. And who would take on a job like that? Maybe we could ask that Big Sis program that Olga worked for. There must be a super-girl out there who can do the job.
