by
Catheryne@leopiper.cjb.net
It
is of infinite importance that a soul soar to the heavens with the force of
relief, of release, propelled by love and charged with destiny's blessing.
However there are moments when a thin thread snags on a cliff, and breaks a
soul's flight. And then with no more momentum, the poor essence falls headlong
back to earth, not knowing its purpose, lost for eternity, restless.
And
this is the time that the soul needs soothing.
Soothing
by a soul that would wrap itself around the tragic, and then slowly, like a
mother cat to her kitten, drink away the wounds and tears, like a burning flame
lick at the wooden columns. Like that long forgotten lover, heal the scars that
mar the skin.
His
soul left the beaten body and tore through the dark, gloomy clouds. He raised
his face to the sky, eager to receive that sweet kiss of the sun. But then the
floating essence was caught in the clash of the air, struck by lightning and
sent madly spinning down to earth. Heaven would not receive a soul as turbid as
his.
Lost,
with no physical reality, he wandered the streets and breathed deeply when
there was no need. There were no memories now. There was nowhere to go. He
could smell and feel nothing, for he was no more… yet he existed.
And
the soul that did not have identity, but knew his fears, allowed the invisible
force of attraction to pull him through and navigate him.
Until
he found himself in a strange enclosure that seemed like home.
Part
1
She
was so tired. Seeing him so still, watching as these strange men cover that
coffin with soil and sealing him forever underground physically and emotionally
drained her. Her heart called out to him, and it seemed as though part of her
flowed down to him, and was therefore buried when she threw the single rose at
the lid.
With
petals the same color as those he had scattered over the path they took on that
first and final night of love.
Piper
took off her earrings and placed them in the jewelry box of her dresser. Piper
touched the ring that he had given her. "Leo, wherever you are, with all my
heart, I thank you."
"And
you're welcome." Her gaze widened at the sounds of his voice. Slowly, her eyes
rose to look at the reflection in the mirror. He stood smiling behind her,
seeming so refreshed and rested.
"Leo—"
"Did
you think I would just leave you, Piper?"
She
broke into a relieved smile and turned around, launching herself at him. Piper
flung her arms around Leo, only to hug the empty air. "Leo…" Tears rose to her
eyes. He wasn't there anymore. "Leo! Come back! I need to feel your arms around
me one more time," she screamed at the void.
There
was no response. The silence screamed so loudly that her hands rose to cover
her ears.
"Leo!"
she called. "I need you! Please don't go!"
Sunlight
caught at the ring on her finger, reminding Piper that she had just gone to his
funeral, that he had died protecting her. "No…" she moaned. "That was just a
nightmare. He's at the university. He has a class. He's coming to pick me up
for dinner," she murmured like a litany.
It
doesn't have to be with me, the wind whispered at her ear.
Piper
madly shook her head in denial. "It has to be with you! It's senseless without
you!"
But
she couldn't deny the truth anymore. Leo was gone, just like all her dreams.
The moment she said them out loud, they just disappear. "I can't let you go,"
she said firmly. "Leo, please come home to me!"
And
then she was being shaken. "Piper."
"Leo,
I'm begging you. Come back!"
"Piper,
honey, get up."
"Leo…"
"Piper,
wake up!"
Her
eyes opened from the bright sunlit room to meet those of her sister's in the
dark night. "Prue?"
Prue
wrapped her arms around her sister and kissed her temple. "It's going to be all
right, Piper. Leo's gone, but it's going to be fine."
"He's
really dead…"
"Yes,
he is. And I'm very sorry for both of you."
"It's
not true."
Prue's
only response is to wrap her arms around her sister in an effort to soothe her
grief.
~~
Slowly,
in sure circular movements, Piper blended the mix and watched the yellow of the
melted butter disappear into the sticky batter.
Round and round, she stirred until the sight faded into a blur, out of focus, out of mind. Her arm mechanically did the job while her consciousness was separated from it.
Eyelids closed over tired, unfocused eyes and revealed in the darkness tiny pinpricks of light. "Leo?" she whispered into the empty room. The breeze caressed her ankles and teased the hem of her skirt. Slowly, she opened her eyes. Her gaze settled on the closed windows and still, drawn curtains. "Leo, is that you?" came her quiet query. The wind picked up and kissed both of the pale cheeks, coaxing a small smile to form on her lips. There was no need for sight this time. Once again, she allowed her eyes to close and threw back her head. The sweet, subtle yet powerful sensations washed through her.
Prue
was about to get some coffee in the kitchen when she stopped still at the
doorway, not knowing what to do about the view. Her younger sister stood still,
the mixing spoon at hand, face raised to the ceiling and eyes closed. She
cleared her throat. "Honey?"
Piper
seemed to snap out of a trance as she looked back at Prue. "Oh, hi, Prue. I'm
just fixing you and Pheebs some breakfast." She returns her attention to the
batter on the bowl. Prue enters the kitchen and sits on the chair beside Piper.
Her hand closed over her younger sister's free one. Piper looked at her sister
in surprise. When a smile curved her lips, Piper gave her a like smile.
"Hey,
morning." Phoebe walked into the kitchen as Piper finished the last batch of
pancakes. Phoebe fished one and dropped it on her plate. "I'm just going to the
university to pick up a few stuff I had in the Psych Dep. Now that Le—"
Piper
took two pancakes and a small bowl of syrup. "I'll eat in my room. Close the
door on your way out, ok?"
Prue
glared at Phoebe, and the youngest seemed apologetic. Piper didn't notice the
silent exchange between the two. In her mind, she heard his voice, soft,
tender, telling her everything she needed to hear. She knew that this was her
own conception, but it didn't matter. She wanted to hear him say these words,
but he would never have the chance now. Who knew? Perhaps somewhere up there in
heaven, he was thinking of a way to tell her this too.
Every
time the world turns, the hour comes for us to part. Our hearts may struggle
but it's in vain. Piper swallowed heavily, not
wanting to say what she thought of that, but not being able to help it either.
"When, Leo? Where can I kiss you again?" These moments may be so lacking,
but keep in mind, the hour would also come when it's time to meet again. This
brought a tremulous smile to her lips. Hesitantly, she nodded in agreement. "As
long as there's another tomorrow to face, I will love only you."
Holding
the plate in one hand, she turned and opened the door. When she stepped in, she
caught her breath. The plate of pancakes dropped to the floor and broke,
scattering ceramic onto her floor.
He
sat, eerily she could see right through him, yet he still existed, right on the
edge of her bed. Her weak legs carried her a few steps forward, for there was
no way for her to be afraid. "Leo?" She carefully sat beside him and wrapped
her arms around the figure holding onto himself so tightly. Her arms touched
nothing.
He
raised his face and looked straight at her. "Who are you?" was his tortured
question. "And where am I?"
"Leo,
what are you talking about? You're here. With me."
The
ghost shook its head. "I don't know what I'm talking about! I just want to be
in peace, and this is the only home I can think of. Why? Where is here?"
"Here,"
she answered, "is home." Her bright smile would have warmed him had he been
capable of feeling anything. "Welcome home, Leo."
Confused,
yet desperately needing somewhere to cling to, he nods at the beautiful
stranger who would have touched him had it been possible.
The
sudden rapping of the door startled the two. His clear eyes became alert, and
he tensed. "It's all right. Don't be afraid, Leo. It's only my sisters. Prue
and Phoebe. You knew them." She smiled and turned to open the door.
"What
was that noise?" Prue demanded.
Piper
motioned to the broken plate on the floor. "Nothing at all. I'll clean it up
later." She tried to push the door, but her sister held it open with her hand.
"Piper,
what's going on? Why are you acting so strangely?" Prue peeked inside. She
spotted the hazy figure on the bed and looked up at Piper. Calmly, she said,
"Piper, you have Leo's ghost in your room!"
"I
know. He's come back to me," she said quietly, with a tinge of triumph.
"Are
you insane?" her older sister demanded.
"He
said he needed peace, and wished to be home. And now he is."
"He's
a restless soul," Phoebe explained softly. "He needs our help, to go
to heaven."
"No,
Phoebe. I'm keeping him!"
"He's
not a dog you can keep!"
"Would
you go away and leave me alone? He loves me."
"We
know that."
"And
I love him. Don't you consider the slightest possibility that this was meant to
happen?"
Prue
shook her head. "Keeping a soul from its rightful eternal sleep is never fated,
Piper."
"Who
made you queen of the world?" Piper snapped. "I'm not hurting him. And I'm not
sending him away when he himself believes he's found his place." She shut the
door and clicked the lock.
The
man on the bed stared at her quietly as she approached. There was a time when
at the sight of her coming towards him, he would smile in welcome and open his
arms so she could delve deep and press so close that she would almost be part
of him. There was no way to describe the emptiness she felt as his vacant gaze
reflected her figure. She waited for those sweet words of love that they used
to share.
"Where
is this place? Why am I here?" was his only greeting.
"I
told you," she replied. "This is the home you wanted to be in. I, Leo, am your
home."
There
was not even a flicker of recognition in his eyes. "But I don't…" he began
slowly, "remember… you."
Piper
bit her lip. So badly she needed to hold him. She wanted to embrace her to her
breast so much. Maybe if he heard her heartbeat, he would recall everything
they had. Very carefully she raised her hands to cup his cheeks, not daring to
allow her skin close enough to touch his, because she did not want to feel the
desperation of feeling nothing beneath her fingers. "Will you try to remember,
Leo?"
"I
can't feel anything," he whispered. "There isn't any use for any of this."
"Just…
try." Her heart broke at the blank in his eyes, where once the spark of love
lit the hazel orbs. "Close your eyes," she said.
Slowly,
lids closed over his eyes. She swallowed as she saw his hands rise to hold her
waist. She prepared herself for contact, and almost cried out loud when he saw
those hands close over her waist, but she felt nothing. Piper threw her head
back and closed her own eyes in concentration. "Let me feel his warmth," she
prayed. Her lips parted. "Feel my warmth."
She
looked back down, and saw him staring at her in that same lost gaze. And then
horror crept into those hazel orbs. A flicker of fear and then pure
unadulterated terror. He stared down his hands, horrified. Before her very
eyes, his hands suddenly dripped with red. "Blood!" he cried. "My hands! Blood
in my hands!" He stepped back and fell to his knees, washing his hands in
invisible running water. He was wild as he scrubbed, but the blood never seemed
to come off. "Stop! The blood! It's everywhere!" A splatter ofblod appeared on
his chest. "What is happening to me?" he demanded. "Make it stop!" he yelled to
no one in particular.
Piper
caught at the sob in her throat as she watched her lover. She understood now.
While she wouldn't let go of him, he was suffering in eternal uncertainty. She
swiftly went to him and knelt before the trembling figure. "Ssssshhh." Piper
drew him into his arms and kissed away at the tears, knowing that it was
useless, but performing the ritual nonetheless. She raised her lips and felt
the cold air brush against the wetness. Salt of tears. She felt and tasted the
ghost's desperation.
"Leo,
come to bed." With unstable legs, he got up and allowed her to lead him. He sat
down on the sheets. "Lie back." With no other choice, he did as he was bid. And
then she curled beside him and silently waited. "This is our heaven," she said.
"Our heaven on earth. And I understand now. I'll be thankful to you forever,
but this time I owe you a debt that must be paid as soon as I can." She raised
herself on her elbow and looked down at him. "The hour to let go comes every
time," she whispered. "My heart doesn't want to, but there's nothing I can do."
A tiny spark of recognition burst in his eyes. "When can I kiss you again?" She
brushed his lips against his, but felt nothing but air.
As
an epiphany, his eyes cleared. "When we meet again," he promised.
And
then the figure slowly faded, leaving her leaning down at nothing at all. She
collapsed facedown on the bed and curled herself into a tight ball.
"As
long as there are mornings to face, Leo, you're the only one I'll love."
The
End
