scarlet
scarlet
all copyrights
belong to (c) konami/2001. i don't own suikoden II, and i don't
make any profit from this fic. but i do own the plot, so please
don't steal it.
exhausted,
she never thought this day would come. She peeked the man beside
her with the corner of her intense green eyes. Deep inside her
heart, she had to admit that the center red flesh of her body had
fell to him, she had fell in love with him, with his deep blue
eyes that could drown her to the deepest sea, and the smooth
dirty blond hair that she wanted to keep her hands on...
"hhh---"
she sighed, tried to release the sharp thorns that thrusted her,
but she failed, they were still there...
"why are you
sighing?" His deep voice asked.
"Maybe I am
just exhausted. I apologize." She lied, a beautiful lie
behind her beautiful vocal and beautiful lips.
He didn't move from
his seat, right there, at the castle's balcony, the castle of the
shining Highland capital, L'Renouille. "We still have other
ceremonies after the blessings, can you make it?"
She nodded, her
sight aimed at the people of Highland, who were watching them
from the castle's court, and her body pretended to focus on the
Highland's high priest's blessings, but she herself wasn't there,
at the place she had to be... she was at another place, where
doubts, nervousness and unhappiness didn't hug her. "Yes, I
am very sorry."
He smiled... maybe
not a smile, a smile's not like that, he was only raising his
always-horizontal-lipline. "Just tell me when you can't
make it." He said.
"Yes, I
will." She answered, with her heavy heart and her anxious
feelings.
***
"You're doing
that again..."
"What?"
She raised her head, almost too fast... She *was* floating again
in her sub-consciousness, just when he suddenly interrupted her,
and he caught her right there, in her minds.
"Sighing. Are
you alright?"
"No--- I mean
yes!" She blushed, she always did that whenever she met his
eyes straight, even now, when she had married him. She tried to
hide that with pretending to fix her well-arranged-hair.
"You didn't
seem to pay attention to the people."
They were sitting
in the castle's hall, where the banquet was held. People were
dancing elegantly, the hall was filled with classical music,
blue-blooded people came and congratulated them for the marriage
and all... blech, typical thing to see... they make me
bored... "My apology, I just do not feel alright."
She lied again, the second, no, third, she didn't know how many
lies she had made that day.
"Do you want
to go back to your room?"
"Maybe I can
stand just for this night." She put an assuring smile on her
pale face. Our marriage, my marriage, at least... I think so.
"Just for this night." She repeated with half of her
voice.
Then, the silent
atmosphere covered the couple. Her husband chatted with one or
two persons she recognized, she greeted them with her
most-stunning-fake-smile, as usual, the main thing was, keep
herself at her husband's side, and her duty was fulfilled. Yeah,
this things always happenning at marriage, don't feel sorry for
yourself.
Felt herself
drowned again to her innerself, she stared absent-mindedly to the
glittering people who danced gracefully in the hall, above the
well-polished marmers that reflected their bodies. Her
imagination started to fly without her notices, to the place
without soldiers, servants, weapon, and war... far from the
castle, to the teenage girl's dream... to the place she never
reached.
"Care to
dance?" His voice stopped her imagination to keep going
again, his touch on her shoulder made her surprised.
"Yes, I'd like
to." She answered, praying in her heart that he hadn't felt
her backed away from him for a while.
They moved at the
center of the hall, people retreated from their places and gave
the newly husband and wife their paths, they even moved back so
the couple could dance in a wide free space.
The music played
and they danced then, gracefully, people stared at them in
amusement, whispered, and took jealous glances at them. They were
doing what most people dreamt on, to find the love, soulmates,
becoming king and queen, and lived happily ever after...
That's a
fairytale... Reality is meaner than you think...
***
She keeps
herself distant, faraway from this place, from this
*happiness*... I even doubt that she's seeing me right now... My
dear wife, you have the most insuring fake smile...
***
Oh Lord... She
had forgotten the most important thing for a newly married
couple... And now she was dumbfounded, standing at the glorious
royal chamber, at her chamber, at their chamber, and the
past-princess-now-was-known-as-queen had to face--- My first
night...
"Why are you
standing there? Aren't you exhausted from today's
ceremonies?"
"Y---Yes---"
She said nervously. She *was* exhausted, and she wanted so bad to
go to her bed and sleep... and sleep. She gulped.
"Are you
alright?" He stopped in front of her, and put his warm hand
on her forhead. "You're cold?"
"Uh--- it's
just the night air. Maybe the wind from the outside..." She
lied again, for the Lord-does-know-how-many times at
this day. From the first time when she oathed to be his wife for
the rest of her life, until the last lie about her fear.
"The windows
are closed." He stated with a horizontal tone.
"uuh?"
"Are you
avoiding me?"
She wasstucked
there, she couldn't make another lie, another sin to The One she
believed on, to the man she fell in love to. What could she do
now? What Am I supposed to say now? Oh... dear my
husband sorry, but you don't love me, you love my name... No!
"I take that
as a yes."
"No!"
He questioned, at
least, his azure eyes were full of questions, and doubt about
her. "I don't know how many times you told lies to me this
day."
"Jowy..."
"Jillia,
please. I won't be mad at you." He held both her shoulders
assuringly. "If you don't want me here, I could sleep in
another chamber."
This thing
wasn't suppose to happen on a newly couple's first night...
But she didn't say anything to stop him. She didn't move a single
muscle when her newly husband walked away from their room, she
didn't do anything to prevent him from leaving her. Her gaze was
straight to his back when he closed the door, didn't even look
back to see the face of his goddamned newly wife, didn't
see a single tear that came from the corner of her green eyes.
***
Things are
going quite the same before I'm married... I'm still learning
history, piano, and that damned etiquette lesson! I'm still going
to tea parties for *spoiled* rich girls, even though I'm
married... My husband didn't complain anything about my
activities... I even doubt he knows what my activities are!
Then, he came
to me...
"Am I
disturbing you, Jillia?" A voice that she missed so much
asked after a few knocks on the wooden door of her chamber.
Jillia jumped from her chair, her mind hopped from the book she
read before.
The door cracked
open, revealing her husband, that's what everyone thinks
about, still with his calm blue eyes as usual, and following
him from behind was a child, a brown haired girl, in pastel pink,
hiding behind the legs of the one she was falling in love with.
"Pilika,
please, don't be shy." He smiled to her. A smile, a true
smile, the same first smile when she saw him for the first time,
the smile of the man she had her heart on. But that didn't belong
to her, that belonged to the little girl... "I'm sorry for
bothering you, Jillia."
She was astonished
at his smile for her for a while. "No. What's the
matter?" She kneeled to match the length of her eyes with
the girl who had his husband's smile. "Where does this
princess come from?"
His husband
chuckled and raised the little girl with his strong arms and
brought her to his embrace. "Her name is Pilika. Pilika,
this is my wife---" Her heartbeat stopped for a while,
stunned with his peaceful blue eyes that glance at hers.
"Jillia Blight."
"And this
princess is..." She regained her composure, and placed her
true smile because of her husband's, felt the warmth of her
husband, and she knew she had to thank the little girl.
The girl didn't
answer, she nervously stared at the king, who raised his eyebrow.
After a few seconds, she replied quetly. "Pi...lika..."
"Princess
Pilika!" She clapped both her hands, and made a curtsy with
her long skirt. "Jillia Blight, at your service."
***
Maybe I had to
thank Pilika. This child brought a part of me that I've lost, my
husband. My husband told me that she lost her family at the
slaughtering in Toto, the one that my brother made... My husband
also told me how he met Pilika, and how her life since then. At
least my husband told me something about a part of his life, the
one that I couldn't touch...
Pilika, made a
new point of view for me. For the first time in my life, I want
to have a child, I want a girl that I can teach on, can share the
experience of my life with, a child that I wanted to love... with
my husband... But I think I can wait... For this time, I have
Pilika...
"Pilika!"
She shouted. She had lost her, she knew she couldn't leave a
child alone at a big castle. What if she had her feet on the
place she shouldn't be, like the soldiers' baracs, or oh
Lord, the torturing dungeon. She couldn't imagine that, she
would be angry at herself not to mention, her husband would be
angry at herself.
"Pi---!"
"---queen
jillia---"
She stopped when
she realized her name mentioned. She stood there, and heard
voices she recalled, the voices of what-she-had-called friends,
or maybe her new thesaurus, the spoiled rich girls. She
hated these verbs, but she couldn't help it, they were called
peeking and over-hearing...
"She seems
like she doesn't want to gather with us anymore." Who
wants to gather with you.
"She seems...
you know, different." I'm always like this, you're the
ones who don't know me.
"She's playing
with a child, what's her name again?" It's Pilika.
"It's too
difficult to pronounce, don't mind it." Even a parrot
can pronounce it clearly.
"Puh! She
maybe doing it for king Jowy's sake, you know... the
rumour..." Wh--- what?
What rumor?
Her blood was boiled enough and then, there was this *rumour*?
"They haven't
been intimate at all---"
"What?"
The shrieks of the other girls made her blood went to the peak of
her head.
"Maybe queen
Jillia's doing all these things so she could get his
sympathy---"
If she didn't
control her emotions she would have called the guards and ordered
to kill them, or killed them with her own hands before she called
the guards. She was right behind their back and they were
gossiping her, they made such... assumption about her. Even
though she was a cool-hearted woman, she couldn't stand this...
"What are you
doing here?" A voice silenced the air, and the backs of the
girls were know turned, and they saw the king stood right behind
the red-faced queen, their jaws dropped.
"King Jowy!
Queen Jillia!"
Did he hear?
She didn't budge an inch.
"We mean---
uh--- we are---"
"I know what
you're doing." He closed both his eyes. "I feel
humiliated, disgraced... I never thought high-educationed women
of Highland could do something like that in front of the faces of
their king and queen."
"We
know---"
"I know you
know that." He sighed... "get out of this castle."
"Excuse
me---?"
"I SAID GET
OUT FROM THIS CASTLE!" Hearing his mad voice, the jumped and
instantly ran away from their king and queen, without saying a
word, leaving the two majesties in complete still.
She was ducking her
head, as if her emotions wouldn't came out if she kept on doing
that...
"Are
you---"
"I, I am
fine." Her vibrating voice answered. "I am looking for
Pilika, I can't find her anywhere, I have to---"
Her voice was
halted by intense hands, hugging her waist from behind, she felt
his breath behind her ears. "Are you sure?"
Her breaths stuck
at her lungs, no, she couldn't believe what was happening... she
pushed her husband aside. "Yes." She fought the tears
that now were flowing over the green forest of her eyes.
"I''m sorry--- m'lord...I, I have to find Pilika."
"Jillia---"
She didn't realize,
by showing her eyes in front of his deep sea eyes, she have lost
herself. Lord, now he's seeing me in pity... "I
have to g---"
"Jillia!"
He caught her wrist before she could run.
"No,
m'lord..." She coughed the stream of tears from her eyes.
"Let me go..."
"Jillia!"
"Jowy! Let me
go!"
"Damnit,
Jillia! I'm your husband!" He shouted at her ears, made her
stopp because of fear.
"No, Jowy---
your status is my husband..." She choked her feelings out
from her throat, choked the things that were stuck at her thorat
all along. "It's not the same husband I have in mind when I
was a girl, it's not the same goddamnit husband word I've been
thinking when I first thought of my marriage! Now, let me go!
Jowy!"
"Jillia----"
"Yes, Jowy!
You're surprised! A well-manered princess like me could pronounce
cussings! Yes, I'm a human, Jowy! And I have faults and dreams
too!!!" She raised her head abruptly and forced her wet
green eyes to met with her husband's blue ones. "I have
dreams! I was a teenager, I dreamed that I could find a man that
loves me with all his heart, whom I could love with all my heart,
where we can share our feelings and problems, who can take me far
away from this goddamned place, who doesn't care about my status,
so we can make a family, I dreamed using his family name and I
could give up this goddamned *Blight* name, then I could give
birth to his children! "She took a deep breath. "With
you, I don't even feel the truth of my first kiss! I know you're
marrying me so you can have the throne! I knew that all along!
But I can't say anything since I love you!" She challenged
his surprised eyes. "I'm not a spoiled brat! I'm not a
robot-princess! Jowy, I have dreams too--- please, please,
please, let me go!!!" She shrieked, tried to pull her wrists
from his hands.
But he gripped on
her wrists tighter, she could even feel that her bones were about
to crack, then she felt his lips pressed to hers, her wrists
freed, and his hands moved to the back of his waist, pushing her
deeper to his embace, making her melt inside his warm cuddle. And
she felt... so right if she kissed him back.
"I won't let
you go, Jillia...," he said between kisses. "Yes, I
know--- just for having this title, this status... But, I fell in
love with you, I just want to make you happy. Jillia, let me
fulfil your dreams... at least..." He then trailed his
kisses down to her neck and shoulders, and he rest his forehead
at her shoulder. "I love you, Jillia, with all of my
heart... Maybe I'm not in the right place, but I can take you
faraway from here, I can make a family with you---" he
chuckled, tightening his embrace, "you can give birth to my
children... Jillia, I won't let you go."
He loves me... She
smiled. "You can only make promises."
"You think
so?" He raised his head, and looked her straihgt to the
eyes. "So, let's finish this *never been intimate* thing
first, shall we?"
She laughed.
"Pervert."
***
Well, maybe
things *does* go well....... at least for a while... I've no need
to tell you how I spend my first night with my dear husband. I
know for sure, he made the happiest woman at that time...
The way he
cuddled me, kissed me, and brought me to the closest heaven on
earth. I've never thought that he could make me feel like this. I
became one with my husband, sharing our feelings, hearts, and
loves...
"Jowy?"
She said, moving herself closer to his lovingly embrace, warmer
than the blanket itself.
"Huh?" He
answered lazily, rubbing his hand at the back of her bare back.
"Can we take
Pilika as... I mean..."
He kissed her
forehead. "I know. I was just about to ask you the same
thing.
*Fin*
Inspiration:
suikogaiden vol1 opening, but I haven't finished episode 2.