I WATCH


Disclaimer: I own nothing. Nada. One day I will become insanely rich and then.......But until that day, Nada.


Sometimes, I watch her as she sleeps.
Standing in the shadows in the corner of her room, silently, I watch.
She knows that I do it. I even think she knows why I do it. The peace it brings is a balm I am not granted in the daylight hours.
It is because we are who we are that it happens. I mean, who else would let someone, a psycho killer no less, just stand and watch them sleep? Sometimes she's not even asleep. She pretends. For me.
I know when its fake, and she knows that I know. But that's not important to us.

It's not her sleeping that I take pleasure in- well, that's part of it, slumber of the innocents an' all. It's reassurance. I have to prove to myself that she's all right.
The nights I spent watching her empty bed while she was away with Frost. The irrational urges to ring her at two in the morning just to hear her voice...

She's never asked me to leave.......

Once, though, she asked for a hug. Pulled me right on down beside her. We didn't speak. We didn't need to. Just took the comfort being offered. The comfort of being near each other, in the blind dark.

I miss that hug. Especially when I'm gone, at night, alone.

Because I couldn't do that with anyone else, you see. I couldn't ruin their illusions like that. But with her, there are no illusions. I can't hide. I've never had to.
She pulled me off a goddam cross. Saved me when I was weakest. Never feared me at my most savage. She *knows* me.

Have you ever watched someone sleep? And known exactly what they were dreaming?
That's what we have.
Its what we are.
I let her dream for me.