Title: Hers, Yours, and Mine 7/8

Title: Hers, Yours, and Mine 7/8

Author: Sony_Mouse (Sony_Mouse@hotmail.com)

Pairings: 1+2+1 (R+1 in the past)

Warnings: SUPER BIG ANGST (yeah like that's something new lol), Shounen-Ai, and you know every thing else if you have read this far.

Disclaimer: GW not mine, Lizzy and Nate ARE!!!

Archives: All previous monstrosities (stories) by me can be found at www.gwaddiction.com

Story Note: I wrote almost all the chapters while listing to Radio Head's Street Spirit. This is why most of the chapters are more depressing than not. Except for this one, which was written under the influence of Sarah Mclaulchan's Sweet Surrender. I was listening to it and realized that it matched what I had for this chapter perfectly. The first few lines are Duo, and the last few as well, but all the middle is Heero. SO if you want a song to REALLY make you cry while you read this, dl Sweet Surrender.

SPORTS RANT and NEWS: First off the Toronto Maple Leafs. I am VERY disappointed to have to tell you the bad news. BUT the Leafs are out of the play-offs. Sadly they have lost the final game Best of Seven Series 5-1. BUT they stuck it out till the end. And they managed to get to the second round of the playoffs. TORONTO, no no CANADA is proud of you boys. And next year will beat those evil Devils.

Raptors, who also played tonight, had a similar loss if you can believe it. BUT the game was much more successful. They led it for most of the time and only to 92-97. It was an amazing game, where Antonio Davis, Vince Carter, Chris Childs, Charles Oakley and PERTERSON (I'm wearing jersey right now) showed amazing work). But we're still in the Best of Seven Series (1-1) and we WILL win. I will be at the Friday home game, to cheer our wonderful team on. GO RAPTORS GO, and GREAT JOB LEAFS

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From Part 6: It's All That I have to Give...

"I was in a car accident, don't you think that's enough reason, maybe it just knocked some sense into me."

"I don't believe you, you're lying."

"I NEVER lie."

"You never used to but you do now."

"Please Quatre just drop it, I don't…I can't handle this right now. Please." Giving into Duo's pleas, he nodded once. Duo wasn't going to tell him now, no matter how much he asked him too.

"Fine Duo, I'm going to go see the kids now. Enjoy the view."

"I will." Duo didn't turn to see Quatre leave; instead his eyes focused on a tree about five blacks down the road. It still had a dent in it from a car crash that took place over eight years ago.

*****************************************************

Part 7: The Years Before Five Last the Rest of Their Lives!

It had been two weeks since Quatre's confrontation with Duo, and he was still being jumpy about the subject of Heero. It came to a point where even the kids feared mentioning him around their Uncle. This or course only added to the guilt that Lizzy in particular carried around with her. She felt that it was their being there that upset Duo so much, and Duo's words of assurance weren't quite as believable as the eight-year-old would have liked. But if there was one thing she was going to do, she would remain strong. She simply had to.

Looking over at Duo, she noticed that he was once again lost in his thoughts, and was staring off into nothingness. She felt if she only knew what was bothering him, then maybe she could help. But watching as Duo unconsciously nibbled on the end of his braid, she honestly wondered if he would want it.

************************************

Over Eight years ago...

Over Two years after the war ended.

Duo rushed outside of the house in a flurry of motion. Today was the day he would get to test out his car. He had spent the last year working on it, pouring his heart and soul into the building of the machine. Originally the project had been meant for both he and Heero to work on, but that hadn't worked out quite the way Duo had had planned it.

Putting the final touches on the bright yellow coating, Duo strapped on a ridiculous looking 20's style driver's hat and goggles he had found in his attic. Rubbing his hands together and smiling with glee, Duo entered his fully functional pet project. Today he would race the wind.

Starting the engine up, Duo slowly pulled the car out of the driveway, making sure it ended up parallel to the road.

Making one final check on the car and the surrounding area, Duo put his foot to the pedal and was off.

Only seconds after he had started to drive, he began to speed up, not really knowing why. Very soon he was driving at way past the speed limit, and enjoying every minute of it. He could already hear the different new car parts start to strain under the pressure, but a hidden part of himself kept saying to drive on, no matter what happened.

Throwing all cares to the wind, Duo continued to speed up, and didn't even blink as he lost control of the steering wheel, flipped the car and crashed into a nearby tree.

Dust was everywhere, and Duo found it hard to breathe in. Somehow he had survived the crash, though he wasn't quite sure that was a good thing or not. His vision was blurry, and his head was dizzy, he couldn't even make out if he was upside-down or not. Figuring now would be a good time to just go to sleep and never wake up; Duo slumped back down into his seat, positive that this was the end.

Just as his mind started to go, he heard a yelling coming from the side of the car.

"Duo!! DUO!!!! Can you hear me, hang on, I'm coming. I'm on my way."

Thinking he had really lost it now, Duo could have sworn that voice belonged to his lost lover. But he figured it was just his senses playing tricks on him. The only reply he gave was a small moan.

After a few seconds, more yelling was heard, but much closer, above him in fact. He heard the door being opened and strained his eyes to see who it was. Staring down at him was what looked like an angel. Bright light plastered both sides of the man's face, while darkish hair claimed the top. In a weak voice Duo asked an almost impossible question.

"Heero?"

"Duo, we've got to get you out of here. Are you ok? Do you feel any broken bones? Is there anything you can't feel? Duo??? Duo, answer me?"

"Heero?"

"Yes, yes it's me, just tell me if you're ok. PLEASE!"

"My leg...it hurts. My left one." Grabbing a sharp piece of metal that had broken from the car, Heero was able to cut through the seatbelt and remove most of the debris. Finally making a wide enough gap, Heero was able to pick up Duo and remove the leg from it's wedged in position. Walking away from the car, Heero laid his one time lover down on the grass and quickly tried to assess the damage.

"It's only your leg that seems to be damaged."

"Oh that, it's a mere flesh wound."

"Do you have to joke about it? You could've been hurt! What were you thinking?" Duo would've responded but the dizziness once more took over his weak body and he fell flat to the ground from his sitting position.

Looking extremely worried, Heero picked up the fragile young man and started walking back to the house. He clenched the injured ex-pilot close to his body, afraid that he would drop him, or that Duo might make a get away. Duo in turn nestled into Heero's embrace, too weak to protest anything, especially not the joy of being in those arms again.

"Heero..."

"Shhhh, we're almost there."

"Y-you came back..." Kissing Duo possessively on his forehead, Heero tried not to let the overpowering emotions take over.

"I'm sorry Duo...I'm so sorry." The two walked in silence the rest of the way back to the house. With Duo trying not to fall asleep in the comforting embrace, and Heero holding the boy tightly in his arms. It was just like before.

After calling the tow truck, Heero replaced the receiver back on its hook and made his way up to the bedroom. He had just given Duo some painkillers and wanted it to sink in before he finished the job.

Walking into the room, he found a solemn and drugged up Duo.

"Are you sure about this, I could just take you to the hospital."

"No, no Heero. You do it. If you can set your own leg, I can at least have you set mine...even with a lot of drugs." Before Duo could finish his sentence, Heero took him by surprise and set the leg.

"Ahhhhhhh you BASTARD, I wasn't ready."

"Hn, it's easier that way."

"Oi, do you ever need a bedside manner. Here take these wrappings and put them around my leg."

Doing as he was told, Heero slowly began the process of wrapping Duo's swollen leg. It didn't take him long, but when he was done, he found he couldn't remove his hands from Duo's body. Inch by inch he mapped his way up to the sad face that had watched the whole process. Cupping the soft cheeks in his hands, Heero traced the outline of Duo's mouth with his thumb. Unable to contain himself any longer, Heero leaned forward and planted a delicate kiss on Duo's flushed lips.

Duo brought his arms around to Heero's neck, and the kiss quickly deepened, in hunger and need that the two had both suffered from in the last year. After a few minutes of becoming reacquainted with every aspect of each other's body, it was Heero who pulled away first.

"No, I shouldn't."

Bringing up a single digit, Duo placed it on Heero's open lips, as his other hand pulled him down so that the two were lying side by side. Taking the cue, Heero wrapped his arms around the beautiful young man, and rested his chin on Duo's shoulder, which was covered by loose hair that had escaped during the accident. It wasn't long before the two had fallen fast asleep.

By the time they woke up, it was already late in the evening, and Duo's drugs had worn off. Clinging tightly to Heero's arms, Duo whispered over to the other man.

"If-if you leave, just do it before I wake up tomorrow. I don't want to see you leave, and I don't want to know why you came."

Turning him over in his arms, Heero pushed himself slightly away from his love. "Duo, I had to come, I had to tell you. You had to know...and it was an excuse to see you again. I couldn't bear not seeing you again."

"No, Heero I don't want to hear it, please, and I don't want to know why you left." By now Heero had somehow completed the impossible task of separating himself from Duo.

"It's Relena, she's pregnant. I just thought you should know."

"Why Heero, why did you think I would want to know that."

"I-I just wanted a reason to see you again. It hurts me that you're not there. I miss you so much."

Getting frustrated Duo threw one of his pillows at Heero's head. " You fucking bastard. I told you I didn't want to hear. So what now, huh? You tell me the great news, then you're off to see your happy little family again. How the fuck do you think that makes me feel?"

"Duo...I-I"

"YOU WHAT!! You need me?? Yes I remember those words. What were they, Air, water, sleep, you can do without those, but not me right? Seems like you've managed fine so far." Trying to get close to Duo again, Heero approached the bed.

"NO! Back off Yui! It's funny how you have all these words of love at one moment then leave the next. You told me you loved me, God Damn it! You told me you loved me more than everybody else, but then you go and leave me for everybody else. Do you think you're the ONLY one in pain here? You need me, well HELL I need you! I can't even watch the TV anymore without fear that I'll see your stupid face and start crying. I NEED YOU, a hell of a lot more than the stupid country does. Don't you get it yet? I LOVE YOU! I FUCKING LOVE YOU! And it's not going away. No matter how much I try to make it."

At the end of his rant, Duo fell back to the bed and closed his eyes, preventing the tears from falling into his lap. Heero reached out with his hand, as if he could just brush those tears away from across the room.

"Duo...you love me..."

"Did you really doubt it Heero. How could I not." Once again Heero tried to approach the bed.

"NO! Just leave. Just leave and don't come back." Heero remained standing there for a few minutes before physically forcing himself to comply with Duo's wishes. As he left the room, all Duo heard was the soft click of the door.

Duo's eyes shot open as he realized what he had just said. Trying to get out of bed and follow Heero's steps, he stood on both legs, but fell to the ground when the pain shot up his spine.

"Heero!!! HEEROOOO Come back, I didn't mean it. Come back! Don't leave me!" Realizing there was no one in the house that could hear his calls, Duo started to panic and felt his breathing shorten and become erratic. Still on the ground Duo passed out from the shortage of air, and remained there until the next morning when Quatre found him.

Someone had tipped the blond off about the accident. And it didn't take Duo much time to figure out who.

**************************************

PRESENT TIME

It was already midnight and Duo somehow found himself awake. He had been having nightmares about Heero again.

Turning to his side, he reached over to hug Nate closer to himself, but to his great surprise he encountered only blanket.

Starting to panic a bit, Duo got up and began a search or the room, looking for any sign of his charge. "Nate? Naaaaaaate! Where are ya' little buddy?"

"Mmmmmmmmmmmm Duoooo, what time is it?"

"Go back to sleep Lizzy, I'm just looking for Nate."

"Oh, he probably just had another nightmare, look for him downstairs." Taking her advice, Duo headed down the stairs in search of the small boy. He found him in the living room, hugging something close to his chest and crying.

"Nate? What's wrong? You had a bad nightmare?"

Nate didn't respond and only cried harder, but reached out his arms to be picked up by Duo.

"It's ok, it's ok. It's only a nightmare. Nothing to worry about."

"Duo, I can't stop seeing her." Surprised that Nate had chosen to talk, Duo sat down on the couch and placed the small boy on his knees.

"Who can't you stop seeing?"

"Mommy." Hugging him closer Duo tried rubbing his back gently in order to sooth the boy down.

"Oh Nate, it must be so hard to lose her at your age."

"I keep seeing the blood, there's always so much of it." This stopped Duo dead in his tracks before he could find his voice again and question the young boy. "The blood? Your mother's blood?"

"I found her, I didn't want to. Elisabeth told me not to hide in the bedroom, but I didn't think she would mind. She wasn't moving, and there was so much blood."

"I didn't know you had found her."

"I just wish I could read. I found a note in mommy's hand. But I couldn't read it, so I ran away." Really looking surprised Duo realized that it was in fact a bloody note that Nate had held in his small hands. Taking it gently from his fingers he reached over and turned on one of the lamps.

"Would you like me to read it?" Nate immediately brightened at the suggestion and waited for Duo to unfold the now hardened paper.

Once open, Duo completely forgot about Nate being there, it was in Heero's hand writing. But true to his words, Duo innocuously read the note out loud.

Dear Duo,

My love, my everything, my Duo. I'm so sorry it had to come to this. Please understand that everything I did, I did for you. But sadly I have realized too late, that it was the wrong thing to do. I shouldn't have left you; I should've stayed.

Even one day more spent with you would have made up for the last decade without your smiling eyes, and cheerful wit. I've tried to forgive myself, but I can't. I've destroyed the one thing that I value more than my life.

I can only hope that through my actions I can undo some of the severe damage that I have done. I know that Relena won't be far behind me in killing herself. She loved me almost as much as I loved you, but only almost.

So my children, my only other source of infinite joy, will be yours to raise. I don't doubt for a second that you will do a much better job than I could ever have done. I won't ask for forgiveness, because I don't deserve it, but please remember me. I really do love you, with all that makes me whole. Good-bye.

Love yours forever,

Heero Yui

Finding the way to his feet, Duo trembled with remorse. His Heero was gone, his wonderful Heero was gone, and he loved him.

Looking down, Duo remembered that Nate had just heard everything he had read out loud. But surprisingly the boy seemed once again content, and only nodded in silent understanding.

Hearing a noise come from the banister, Duo realized that Nate hadn't been the only person to hear the contents of the note. Almost tripping down the stars, Lizzy stood at the bottom, shaking from either sadness or rage, Duo couldn't tell.

"It was...you! You...killed him. You killed them. YOU KILLED THEM!" She was now screaming and crying at the same time. "I hate you, I hate you, I HATE YOU!. You killed them, youkilledthem, youkilledthem!"

Finally the overwhelming confrontation of emotions was too much for Duo. Everything that had happened in the last ten years, and the last month, the guilt of chasing Heero away, the blame he kept with him, and the pain of Heero's death all found it's boiling point, and took that moment in time to explode within Duo's tortured soul.

"SHUTUP!!!!! It's your fault he left me in the first place. So just SHUTUP!"

Lizzy's eyes became as wide as saucers, and not sparing a second she turned and ran out the door into the pouring rain, still in her pajamas.

Falling to his knees, Duo began to cry for the first time since before he could remember. It was the first time he had cried for Heero's death. He let out all the pent up emotion for Heero and just cried.

But it wasn't long before he felt a soft tug on his braid. Looking up he stared straight into dark prussian blue eyes.

With a seriousness, that Duo could imagine Heero also having as a child, the small duplicate of his dead lover spoke out loud in a confident voice that was way beyond his years.

"It'll be alright Duo. It'll be alright."

Not even bothering to reply, Duo jumped up and ran out the door as fast as he could to go and find the upset girl.

*************************************************

His search took him all the way to the deserted park There sitting on the bench hugging her knees to her chest and crying, was Lizzy.

"Lizzy...I'm sorry."

She pretended not to hear his words, but answered none the same in sobs. "I'm tired of being strong. I'm sick of it, and I don't want to be strong anymore."

Sitting down next to the shivering girl in her now soaked pajamas; Duo pulled her closer to his still warm body.

"Lizzy..."

"I'm tired of being strong, you get to be depressed and Nate gets to stop talking, but I have to be strong and I'm tired of it."

"Who ever said you had to be strong?"

"My daddy did, before he left. He came to me and said that he was sorry for leaving, but it had to be done. I told him I don't understand, but he said I would. But I still don't. And then he told me to be strong, that I had to be for Nate. But I'm sick of being strong Duo. Why can't I be weak?"

"I guess it's not in your genes to be weak. But you don't have to be strong either…you only have to hang on." Lizzy wrapped her arms tightly around Duo, obviously forgetting her harsh words from before.

"Lizzy I'm sorry I yelled at you. I guess now you know that I was with your father. I can't ask for your forgiveness, but I don't want to either. I loved him, and for the first time I'm not ashamed to admit that. But I am ashamed that I blamed his leaving on you. If even one good thing came out of his leaving, it was you and Nate. Never forget that."

The rain continued to pour all around them, causing the now soft mud to splatter on their already drenched clothing. Picking up the shivering girl, Duo tried to cover her as much as he could, and began to run back the entire way to the house.

And it was on the way back, as the rain continued it's loud assault, that Duo finally felt free.

Jumping in the air, with the girl still in his arms, Duo yelled at the top of his lungs. He laughed, and he splashed in the puddles. Not caring if the neighbors thought him mad.

Kissing the top of the young girl's head, Duo exclaimed to the whole world.

"It's gonna be ok! It's finally gonna be ok!"

TBC.…….…….….

Sooooooooooooo what did you think??? I hope it wasn't too angsty...ok ok I know it was a bit harsh, but only the worst can happen, before the good can really begin.

PLEASE send your comments to Sony_Mouse@hotmail.com this is really the last chapter. There is only an epilog to go. SO I NEED THOSE COMMENTS. Tell me what you thought (of this or the whole series :)

Oh here's a few facts to clarify just in case you have some questions.

YES Relena killed herself when she found that note. ( I didn't mention it, but it was originally in an envelope addressed to Duo.) You'll notice she waited 2 months after Heero's death to kill herslef, THAT's why

Silly fact, Nate was playing hide-and-seek when he hid in his mother's room. I was going to have a whole flashback of Nate finding the body, but I thought this would be less traumatic to read (trust me I had a GORY scene planned).

And people have asked me this so I will answer. YES Heero loved his kids. And this sounds weird, but in Heero's mind he was doing them a favour by killing himself. Same thing when he left Duo the first time, he thought he was doing Duo the favour, and he would do anything for Duo.

BOTH Lizzy and Duo blamed themselves for the deaths of Heero, but for different reasons. That is also why it was easy for them to blame each other (though Duo had been blaming her from way before she was born).

AND there is still the epilog coming up, so it's not over yet.