What Has Been

Rain, Replacements, and Regrets

What I do not own: Anything herein that you recognize as J.K.R's is hers. I don't own James, Lily, or Sirius. I don't own Hogwarts, or Dumbledore, or Madam Pomfrey. Sadly, I don't own a picture of Draco in leather; I don't even own Remus, just his immortal soul. So don't sue me.

(Wasn't that my best disclaimer by far?)

Summary: Since there seems to be dispute now over whether James was Seeker or Chaser… Well, I fixed it, anyway, in my own twisted way- he just gets changed from one to the other. Lily's last name, too, has been changed in all of my fics (and it was quite the job, I assure you). So in this section, we see very little of the Dark, a few more predictions by Allya, Remus and Allya have a nice, big row… yeah! Don't you all love it when they fight like the animals they are? J I'm sure you all prefer a more… Lily-ish James-ish fight, but those are universally popular and I go for the obscure.

Author's Note: This one's significantly, er, steamier at parts than the other ones… most of the other ones, anyway… wear warm-weather clothing. You have been warned. And… wanna know why Allya's new nickname is "The Blade"? J Look no further…

* * *

I have been a beggar

And shall be one again

And few the ones with help to lend

Within the world of men…

I've sat on the street corner

And watched the boot-heels shine

And cried out glad and cried out sad

With every voice but mine…

- The Rankins, One Day I Walk

* * *

Surprisingly, all of the students returned from their holidays unharmed. Unfortunately, Arika Thompson quit Quidditch after New Years'- she was overburdened by the NEWTs, and needed to take some time off. This left James in a state of panic, for holding Quidditch tryouts again in January was not something he had originally planned on.

"Bugger. Who'm I going to get to play in March?" he asked the rest of the Gryffindor team one cold afternoon on the pitch.

"You could always try… what's her name again?" Sirius asked, eyes gleaming. "That fifth-year that's had her eye on you since…"

"That's about enough of that," James said, turning a very unflattering shade of pink. "Anyway, she can't Chase, I remember from tryouts last year. She's better suited to Seeker, but we have me already."

Remus bit his lip thoughtfully. "Is there any other position you can play, James?" he asked, rearranging the positions of all the Gryffindor players in his mind. "From her build, she wouldn't be a bad Seeker at all…"

Allya slapped him. "Been looking at Cinda's body, have you?"

Remus winked devilishly and kissed her nose; Sirius had to turn his eyes away before his gag reflex proved too strong.

"But I like my position," James grouched, looking vastly unhappy and blowing out an exasperated breath of visible air. He had to remove his glasses and wipe them on his robes.

"For the team, James," Sirius said exasperatedly, rolling his eyes. "How bad can it be? The girls don't love you `cause you're Seeker- they love you `cause you're Quidditch captain, handsome and, if I might say so, charming, in an insufferable, full-of-shit kind of way."

"Thanks, Sirius." James let out a long sigh. "Fine… for the team, then."

James talked to her at lunch that day. "Cinda, a moment of your time?" She and her friends let their gazes travel over him without restraint. He almost said something, but thought better of it.

"Yeah. Be back in a minute, guys." When they were far enough away from her little club of followers (rumor had it that she'd started a James Potter fan-club, but there was no evidence and it couldn't be proven otherwise) and far too close to each other for James' prolonged comfort, she spoke again. "What was it you wanted to ask me, James?" Cinda fluttered her eyelashes and James fought the sudden, incomprehensible urge to vomit.

"Uh…" James snapped out of his self-induced trance. "Right. Well, Arika Thompson quit the Quidditch team, and we sort of need another player on short notice…" he squirmed.

"You want me to be Chaser?" Cinda asked, hiding her disappointment (that he was not asking her out) but raising her eyebrows innocently enough.

"Actually, I'm the replacement Chaser. You," he said, flashing her what he hoped was an enigmatic and not sick-looking grin, "would be Seeker. If you accepted."

James Potter just asked me to be on the Quidditch team… "Of course I'll do it. For you, James." Cinda gave him an adoring look.

Gross. Now I've given her the illusion that I'm interested… "Thanks, Cee, the team and I really appreciate it. See you later."

A redheaded figure who had watched the whole event narrowed her eyes at his form as he left. So Potter was going to play that card, was he? She smirked to herself. Two could play at that game.

"If I have to speak to Cinda Green again in the next six hours," James announced in their secret room behind the portrait of Sir Cadogan, "I am going to be violently ill, even if I have to do it in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom."

Sirius smirked. "Whatever, James."

Allya swatted at him. "Leave the poor boy alone. His patience for the day must be mostly used up. Not to mention the fact that we all know he's still in love with our darling Lil-bug."

'Whose darling Lil-bug?' Shut up. "Shut up," James said tiredly, massaging his eyes. "I am not. I just dread the day Quidditch practice starts again…" He chanced a glance at the calendar they'd pinned to the wall and groaned. "Only a week!"

The sound of low laughter drew Sirius' attention to the darkest corner of the hideaway- Allya must have said something funny, because Remus had an unusually large grin on his face (even for a Marauder among the girl he loved) and she was smiling, too. Even as he watched, Remus drew Ally a bit closer, leaned his head onto her shoulder and whispered his 'I-love-you' in her ear.

Ally smiled, arched her neck back to kiss him, and replied, "I know."

This time when Sirius looked away, it was not because his stomach was threatening to mutiny on the rest of his digestive system- it was that he felt that he was invading their privacy… he felt something else, too. I, he thought to himself, really need to get a girlfriend.

He was well aware that his best friend would likely kill him- but at least it would result in the best outcome for everyone. And Lily needn't know that, either. "So you'll meet me on the bleachers tomorrow at eight?"

She glanced outside, as if she could tell the next day's weather from what the sky looked like that day. "I guess," she answered, shaking red curls away from her face and wondering what on Earth Sirius was up to this time. Am I going to regret this? Nah.

"You're crazy," Allya told him. "It's pouring rain outside!"

"That's the beauty of it," Remus said, winking. "Who else is going to be out there in the middle of March in the pouring rain?"

"Mm," Allya considered, kissing his nose. "Good point."

Remus tilted his head a bit and moved her lips from his nose to his mouth, covering them with his own. Inspired by her sweetness, he threw her over one shoulder and headed for the portrait hole. "Remus… wouldn't be able to let me down any time soon, would you?"

"Let me think- no," he answered, weaving in and out of the students still in the hallway that gave him curious looks. ("You people wouldn't be able to help me, would you?" Allya asked.)

He finally set her down again when they reached the front doors- Remus conjured an umbrella and they walked together out into the heart of the rainstorm.

"You had to choose a day when it was raining, didn't you, Padfoot?" Lily asked, ringing her hair out for the third time as she finally stepped into the relative shelter of the bleachers (there was an invisible tarp over the Quidditch bleachers, as spectators generally didn't enjoy being soaked). The only ones who seemed to be enjoying the rain were the roses around the edges of the pitch- they were in full bloom, despite the fact that it was April. Lily suspected this had something to do with Hagrid.

"Of course," Sirius grinned, shaking water from his hair and looking for all the world like the dog his Animagus form was. "Anyway, there's someone I dragged you all the way out here in the pouring rain to talk about-"

Lily gave him a sharp look, and began, "If this is about James, you can forget it. It's over between us. Done. Gone. Kaput. Out the window, miles down the road, melting in Hell-"

"I assure you," Sirius said, slightly amused, "this has nothing to do with our good friend, Jimbo the Amazing Elephant." He grinned, recalling the incident the day before when Lily had used an Engorgerus charm on his ears and nose.

Lily laughed. "Then who'd you want to talk about?"

Sirius' grin disappeared and was replaced by a smile so innocent-looking, he had to be guilty. "You and me, babe."

There was a snort of derisive laughter, which was quickly cut off by the entrance of two others onto the Quidditch pitch.

"Is there any particular reason we had to come all the way out here- in the pouring rain?" Allya emphasized unnecessarily, "To talk?"

Remus closed the umbrella- it was such a shockingly ugly pink, he must have borrowed it from Hagrid- and tossed it to the side. He grinned devilishly, "Actions speak so much louder than words, don't you think?" he asked playfully, backing her up against the edge of the stands to trap her for a kiss.

Obviously, she couldn't answer him. Ally seemed incapable of moving ninety percent of her body- it was the other one percent that counted, after all. Remus had pinned her hands with his against the boards. The passionate fury could have lasted an hour- for them, time mattered not. After a five-minute eternity, Allya's hands freed themselves of their own free will and found a semi-permanent home in Remus' hair, ruffling it further and electrifying the nerves on his scalp.

Remus' own hands, in strict violation of the way his polite, chivalrous side had instructed them to act, somehow found their way to rather inappropriate places on Ally's body, but she didn't seem to mind. ("Hands!" Sirius whispered, and Lily slapped him, lest they be discovered. For some reason, Allya and Remus seemed a little preoccupied and didn't notice.)

When they had gained their breath again, and in between feverish, rushed kisses, Remus found time to murmur his, "I love you," once more.

"I know," she replied, and was leaning in for yet another kiss when he pulled away sharply.

"Why can't you answer that like a normal person?" he accused, eyes storming. "You know you haven't said it. Not once! Do you care about me or not, Jade?" Remus was perfectly aware that he had just called Allya by her middle name, and was far too furious to care.

So that's what he dragged me out here for… "Said what, Remus?" Allya asked back in the same tone, deciding to play dumb and make Remus spell it out.

"That you love me!" Remus practically yelled, not really caring if anyone overheard. "That you care about me. I think I have the right."

"Well, maybe that's because I don't know." Allya's words were short, her eyes were green with a fury almost unheard of. "Did you ever think of that, Moony? Did you?"

Remus, exasperated, turned to leave. "Maybe you're not worth my time, Jade. Maybe I should just leave now and we should forget everything."

"If that's what you think, Remus Johannes Lupin, then just leave. There's nobody stopping you. But this time, don't come back." Fifth breakup since January third, Allya thought to herself dryly and a bit exasperatedly. That's a lousy record.

It was here that Remus realized how deep a hole he'd dug for his grave. He made it to the arch before he glanced back, seeing Allya watching him, eyes that stormy green color that petrified the younger Slytherins. "Why can't you just say it, Ally? Three words are all I've ever wanted from you." That's not true, a perverted section of his (admittedly hormonal) brain taunted him. Remus told it to sod off.

"You think that it's been easy for me?" Allya yelled back, hands shaking in absolute fury. "Do you think it's easy for me, when everyone I've ever said that to has died, Remus, in case you hadn't noticed. Do you think it's easy for me to tell someone I love so much that I love them and risk putting them in that same danger? Do you think it wouldn't kill me if something happened to you, Remus? Or hadn't you thought of it at all?" Her eyes burned, literally and figuratively. "And if you think, after all that we've been through, that I don't love you, then you aren't worth my time either."

Her words surprised both of them, and the two listening in some drier spot in the bleachers felt guilty for a heartbeat. The two werewolves stood for a moment, pondering in the pouring rain.

Oh, bugger, Remus thought. And, as it finally dawned on him what she'd said, directly or not, She what?! "I was out of line," he said quietly. "I'm sorry."

She sniffed in his arms. "Look at me, reduced to a simpering moron incapable of cohesive thought after a simple confession," Allya said, half-amused and half-horrified that she was crying again. "Well, I'm sorry too, and-"

Remus looked into her eyes, unprepared for what she was about to say.

"And I love you," she tested the words and their feel on her tongue for the first time in a while.

"I know," Remus whispered, letting salty drops that were certainly not rainwater flow down his cheeks.

"Bugger," Ally sniffed appreciatively. "I've made you cry again."

They both laughed, and even in the pouring rain, neither moved for a long time.

Remus and Allya were both rather stuffed up the next day, everyone found out with delight the next morning. Their reappearance into the common room had been proceeded by that of Lily and Sirius, who were an unofficial couple (much to James' not-secret annoyance) and refused to say anything about the other two lest Remus and Ally figure out that they'd been there.

Of course, in returning to the common room, Sirius and Lily … irked James's temper, and he stormed out the portrait hole muttering about Snape, curses, and warts, trailing his Invisibility Cloak.

The morning of the Quidditch match against Hufflepuff, Sirius and Remus awoke early- quarter after six- showered and changed into their Quidditch team robes, and nearly flew down the stairs and outside. "That's what we want," Remus said, pointing.

Sirius nodded and swept up a handful of the blooms in one hand, then dropped them quickly. "Ouch! Remus, why didn't you warn me that roses had thorns?"

Remus would have laughed, but Sirius was dripping blood all over white roses. To waste such beauty… "Oh… What was the spell again? Cessi rellium."

Sirius' "wounds" closed. "Thanks."

Remus nodded and picked out his own array of pink roses from the bushes, slicing his hands open in the process. "You know, I'm beginning to think it would have been a better idea to use our wands."

At this moment, Hagrid came stumbling out of his house brandishing the umbrella Remus had returned the day before. "I'm beginning to think we should run," Sirius commented, and Hagrid chased them all the way into the school, but never found out who they were.

Lily and Allya were absorbed in a conversation about- what else?- the large, smelly wart that was growing on Severus Snape's nose. Just that morning, it had sprouted a sign that said, 'Insert Nasty Comment Here,' and had been bewitched to display at least four such comments since then.

"It really said, 'Who's that trip' troppin' across my bridge'?" Lily asked, laughing.

"Thanks to a certain person, whose name shall not be mentioned because Lady Lily of the Gryffindor Tower has deemed it to be so… yes. I think Ja- er, he has had one too many Muggle Studies lessons."

"Good morning, ladies," Remus said.

"Morning, Remus," Allya said without turning around at first, "Would you mind explaining why you missed breakfast? You really should eat, you-" Her eye finally caught on the bouquet in his hand. "Those are for me?" she asked meekly, grinning.

"No, I just decided to ravage the flesh on my palms picking flowers for another girl. Yes, Ally, they're for you."

Both of them pointedly ignored Lily and Sirius, who were, em, involved in their own conversation.

"Okay, what did you do?" Allya had the flowers now and was sniffing them appreciatively.

Remus lowered his voice and leaned in conspiratorially. "Well, first, I…" Ally's blue eyes were so fixed on him that she never saw it coming- Remus raised his lips to hers and kissed her fiercely.

"Scoundrel," Allya muttered, tucking a perfect pink rose into her braid and using a charm to hold it there.

"You know you love it."

"You know I love it, too, you sly thing." She winked at him, and he kissed her again. "Shall we go out to the pitch again, then? The match is in half an hour, after all!"

"So many memories," Remus commented, grabbing her hand and grinning as he pulled her out through the portrait hole.

"…led by Captain and newly appointed Chaser, James Potter, backed by Nightrunner "The Blade" herself, Warren "King me" Moores, Sirius (snort of derided laughter) Black, Remus "The Unbeatable" Lupin, and Cinda Green!" The cheers had basically started at the mention of James' name, although several of the males got sour looks when they barely heard Ally's- she wasn't exactly unpopular among them, but she'd never really had eyes for anyone but Remus. Thus, more foul looks were exchanged with Sirius and Remus' announcements, for the half of the female population that didn't want Sirius wanted either James or Remus. (Unless they were Slytherin, and some of them still wanted a Marauder.) In fact, the nickname 'blade' itself came from the male population of Hogwarts- unbeknownst to Remus, several of their hearts had been cut out. This was odd, because there were surely prettier girls (Lily, Mioré, and Arika to name a few), but perhaps the male population was not quite as shallow as it sometimes seemed.

"And the Hufflepuff lineup, starring none other than Amos "Full of shit" Diggory…" It seemed that the fifth-year Ravenclaw commentator was having a little too much fun- McGonagall tried to take the microphone away, but Elsie was using the Sonorus charm, so it didn't work.

"They're off! Gryffindor in possession- I didn't know Potter had that kind of talent in the Chasing field!- brilliant pass to Moores- Moores shoots- blocked by Diggory of Hufflepuff, what a shame…" Allya had the Quaffle now; she wove in and out of the Bludgers hit her way by the Hufflepuff Beaters, Remus circling nearby warily. There was an opening- an uninterrupted pass to James, who put it in the hoop, no problem at all. "GRYFFINDOR SCORES! 10-0!"

Mioré and Lily watched from the bleachers- Lily with her eyes habitually searching the skies for any sign of the Golden Snitch, Mioré not so much watching as hiding her head in Lily's shoulder, waiting for Sirius to be out of danger. "...excellent save by Grinforth!"

Gryffindor lost the Snitch but won the match due to an overeager Hufflepuff Seeker.

"She's looked like that since the beginning of last week, what are you talking about?"

"She's never been that pale."

"You're never far enough away to notice her complexion."

"That made no sense, Padfoot."

"Your point being?"

Allya stirred in her sleep, muttering. Lily and Mioré, standing worriedly nearby, looked incredibly tired, as if they'd been watching her all night.

"Are you sure it's not just… that time of the month again?" James asked, wording his question carefully.

"I'd have felt it, too, if it were," Remus answered, touching her forehead and yanking his hand back. "She's burning up," he muttered, backing up a step. Concern etched itself deeper into his skin. "The moon only set yesterday, but…" His forehead wrinkled in concentration. "This has nothing to do with that," Remus said with finality. "Nothing at all."

So Sirius and James ran to fetch Madam Pomfrey, and Lily, Mioré and Remus could only watch while their friend tossed and turned in her sleep, somehow restless.

Madam Pomfrey refused to have Ally moved from that very bed.

"This is not good news," she said more to herself than anyone else.

"What is it?" Remus asked. He was still there- he could not be convinced to leave the room for anything.

"Pneumonia," Pomfrey answered, and promptly ushered him out of the girls' dorm.

THE END- FOR A WHILE

Please note- for a while.

I'm going to Florida. That's about twelve hours from here, with the different flights we're taking. (Graz, Vienna, Munich, Miami). Then we drive to some place… I don't know where, my Florida geography is notoriously bad. So I'll take my notebook, but I won't have anything posted until at least the fifteenth of November, I think. I can't help it if Mr. Libbey decided to drag the choir to Disneyworld! ::smiles innocently:: Anyway, if any of you are Florida people and wanna see me perform (I suck! YAY!) send me an e-mail and I'll tell you where I'll be and when.

I, however, have a lot planned for this. It'll go up till Harry's seventh year, and not further because let's face it, this is getting old. Then I'll write something else, original or maybe some Hogwarts story nobody will read for its stupidity.

Anyway, James and Harry are moving (this is the future, here). Everyone's getting moved around, split up, we meet new characters, they die, blah blah, long and short is, James does some bad bad things and Remus, Ally, and Sirius are not happy about it. And yet… I do believe all you plot-twist fans will love what I've got in store for both that and Harry's Hogwarts years. All I'm saying is expect the unexpected, or if you know me far too well for that, expect what you want to expect and hope for the best. Here ends my teaser.

And now, significantly less wise than Dumbledore's four words in the canon Harry Potter, two single syllables (haha… oxymoron) from the lone astronomer…

Review.

And guess which experience in the above story actually happened to me. I do so love using my real life experiences…