Disclaimer: I know you're all going to be shocked, but… I…I don't own Gundam Wing

Disclaimer: I know you're all going to be shocked, but… I…I don't own Gundam Wing. I know it was shock when I found out too.

_I'm not sure, but Heero might seem a little OOC in this part.

Chapter 2 Emotions

The ringing was deep and drilled through Heero's dream induced illusions and threatened to pull him into reality. For some reason he didn't want to wake up, it wasn't because his eyelids were heavy. He'd gone for days without sleep. It was something else, something that in the back of his mind just out of his reach. All he knew was that sleep was his best option the only one that offered anything sort of peace. Heero rolled over and pulled his covers over his disheveled brown hair and tried to make the ringing stop. His other arm stretched out searching in earnest for something. His fingers finally came in contact with a pillow. It was cold.

It all came rushing at him then. He remembered what his body didn't want him to. The pain and ache washed over him like ice cold water on a frigid winter's day. Opening his eyes he looked at the empty spot where Relena was supposed to be. It seemed to be surrounded by an untouchable air as he looked at it, longing for her to be sleeping there. He could almost see her there, her long blond locks lying across her pillow and her face relaxed and peaceful. The ache grew as he thought of her.

Ignoring the untouchable air that surrounded her spot he reached for the pillow and rolled onto his back bringing it with him. It quickly warmed under his touch. Looking at it skeptically he tossed it into the air and let it fall on his face. Her scent was all over it. Breathing deeply he sucked it into his lungs wishing that it would linger in his mind forever, but he knew it would fade. It would never last forever. Nothing lasted forever. How things really been so horrible. He could remember each time he'd gone out he could remember each fight. His own stubborn pride had made him retaliate.

As the thought of the times he'd hurt her the pain flared into a nauseating ache that started in the pit of his stomach and radiated throughout his body. Heero let the pillow slip to his chest and pulled it too himself subconsciously. He had no way to deal with this kind of pain. It wasn't physical. He couldn't trace its origin. He had no idea were it came from. It was all over. The ringing reached him again and he leaned over to glance at his clock. He needed to get up. 'You'll be late for work if you don't he told himself logically, but like the night before he couldn't move. He felt paralyzed.

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Red was all Heero could see. It was a blinding insulting color that blocked his vision. He wanted to turn from it but he could, wouldn't. He watched the read until it disappeared leaving a faint dot in the darkened night. Still then he watched almost as if he didn't think that it was really disappearing. Nevertheless it disappeared and Heero was left staring at nothing as a deep rain soaked his body. Over head the storm rumbled and raged with the same unorganized combination of anger and sorrow twisted inside Heero Yuy.

Ripping his eyes violently from the darkened street he looked at his shoes, as if somehow they held the answers that eluded him. He clenched his fists and his eyes shut as he tried to understand what had just happened. He felt the rain splashing in the center of his head and running down his back but he couldn't bring himself to escape the chilling rain. Opening his eyes he watched the raindrops hit the hard end of his black military dress shoe and spring into the air creating a mini shower around it. For some reason it seemed more inviting then mulling over his confused emotions.

"Emotions." He scoffed and stomped his foot sending a shower of water up to soak his pant leg. They were things he obviously didn't understand. Relena, his Relena had told him she would love him forever, that they were forever, but she'd left. He should be furious; he should be pissed that she had broken that sacred promise. That when she had said she loved him she had lied, or was it he who had lied. He didn't know, he didn't know anything anymore. He could only stand there as the rain's chill seeped into his skin and he shivered.

He knew he should go inside were it was warm. He even wanted to go, but his legs refused to move. It was like the connection between his brain and his muscles had been severed. What was he waiting for? Was he thinking she would come back? She had made it clear hadn't she, but he could still remember her touch. The way her finger's had brushed so lovingly across his forehead. It had been a long time since they'd touched each other like that. Before he knew it his hand was on his head were her fingers had last been. In disgust he jerked his hand away and looked again at his immobile legs.

Lightening flashed another time bringing his into the light for a brief moment before everything faded into darkness again. A deep rolling thunder followed the light and Heero suddenly was able to move. His foot moved and for a moment he was surprised. It was like the miracles of Duo's God. He was actually moving.

Feeling as if he had never walked before he side passed the closer garage and made his way to his front door. Rain pelted him mercilessly as he neared the large wooden door. When he reached it something seized him. It squeezed at chest and made his breath catch in his throat. He kept walking though and as he neared it became worse. Reaching his hand out, he wrapped it around the cold brass doorknob and pushed the door open. Slowly he stepped into the darkened…empty house. Heero the door slam behind him. Only the sound of water dripping on hardwood floors greeted him. Over head the muffled sound of air plinked the roof.

Something was wrong. As he walked away from the door leaving his shoes beside it he felt it. It was like the whole house was mourning her departure. It was strange and eerie and Heero tried to dismiss it but the feeling wouldn't leave. Silently he made his way up the stairs. He wanted to go to bed. Outside thunder rumbled and shook the house with its quake. Heero's feet felt icy against the white plush carpet and absently hoped they would warm. Before he knew it he was outside their bedroom. He opened the door and flipped on the lights.

The brightness assaulted him and he had to squint for a moment to let his eyes adjust. When he finally did open them the first thing he saw was a picture. It was on the wall across from the door. Purposefully he crossed the room and picked it off the wall. As he looked at the picture incased in the simply cherry wood frame his brow creased in anger and his grip tightened.

Relena had given him the picture. She was leaning on him smiling and he was smirking, more or less. That wasn't what made him angry though. It was the words scrawled on the bottom with a black felt tipped marker. 'I'll love you always. Relena.' The script was fancy and had little heart around the word love. It was cutesy, it was Relena, and it pissed him off. Pulling his hand back he released a mighty roar and hurled the picture at the wall. The cheery wood frame split with the impact and the glass shattered spraying its fragments across the room.

Heero watched as the broken glass his breathing heavy. It had felt good to throw that, but the ache was still there; in fact it had intensified. Turning angrily from the broken picture Heero stripped off his soaked uniform and climbed into the bed. As he sunk into the warm covers he glanced beside him. The empty spot almost brought his world crumbling around him. Swallowing the lump that had formed in his throat he turned over and clenched his eyes shut. He fought the urge to look again and again until he finally drifted off to sleep.

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Heero looked at his clock it flashed happily 7:30. He was due at the Preventer's base by 8:00. Pushing his weary sleep starved body out of bed he stumbled toward the bathroom. He had just enough time to take a quick shower before he got dressed. On his way to the bathroom he passed the shattered picture. He only looked at it briefly thinking he should pick it up, but something else told him to leave it. Stepping into the brightened bathroom he shed the rest of his clothes and turned on the shower.

He stood under those healing drops of water until the water ran cold and he reached down to turn off the faucet. When he exited the bathroom the clock read 8:15. He was already late for work, and for once he didn't care that he was failing in his duty.

Okay that was Chapter two. I posted it as soon as I finished writing it. Tell me what you think.

Note: Sorry it's so short. I'll try to make the next one longer.