Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing

_Note: Believe it or not this is beginning to wrap up. I think there will be about three maybe four more chapters. So if you can bear with me I think it will be worth reading to the end. (* * * * signifies a flash back)

Chapter 3 Memories

Relena starred her eyes glazing a bit as the words went in one ear and out the other. She hardly even remembered where the voices where coming from. The drone had been going on for well over an hour and she didn't seem able to focus. Usually she was able to sit up and listen no matter what was going on but now she couldn't and she was ashamed to admit why.

"What do you think Ms. Peacecraft?"

Relena jerked her eyes from their fixed position on the wall and turned to the man who had spoken. She had completely forgotten his name. He starred at her as if she had three heads, his beady black eyes narrowing on her face. Shifting uncomfortably she narrowed her eyes right back at him. For the moment she didn't care that she was digging her own grave, so to speak, in the political world. She had worked her whole life to escape the immature air people had place on her, but right now all she wanted to do was run from the room. Her nerves were shaken and shot to hell. She hadn't gotten any sleep and she didn't want to battle over politics at the moment. She wondered why she had even bothered coming to work. Relena dropped her gaze from the overbearing politician and got to her feet.

"I'm sorry gentlemen, but I going to have to excuse myself." Relena scanned the room for only a moment and walked calmly toward the door. She maintained her air of control until she was out of the office. As soon as the large wooden door shut behind her she sagged. Her shoulders dropped from their erect position and her face fell from the charming professional look to portray a look that matched her feelings, utter defeat. Running her had over her tightly pulled blond hair; she walked away from the office. She had to get away, she needed to get away and talk to someone.

The feelings where too intense and her body had been seeking something since she'd left Heero the night before. She had expected the pained ache to leave when she left him behind, but it still persisted. Was she to be forever haunted by him? It hurt when he was their it hurt when he was away. She didn't understand this was supposed to be the right decision. This was supposed to make everything better. It hadn't though; perhaps it had even made it worse.

She wasn't to far down the hallway when she heard footsteps behind her. They were quick and precise. Immediately she knew who it was. Her first thought was to run and her second was to give up. Before she could do either he grabbed her and spun her around.

"What you just did back there was irresponsible and childish. Are you trying to ruin your career? This was your idea! Your meeting, you can't just walk out on it." Milliardo squeezed her arm tighter and stifled the urge to shake his younger sister.

"Let go of me." Relena spat ignoring her emotions for a moment and focusing on something that could put the thoughts out of her mind, her anger. And after last night she was well over due for an outburst. His fingers didn't loosen and Relena wrenched her arm from his grasp. "I don't care right now." She told him and tried to turn back around and leave, but he cut in front of her and pulled her face up to look at him.

"You have no choice, but to care. You made this decision; you wanted to be vice foreign minister now do your duty. Do you job."

The way he spoke was condescending and she ignored him. Pushing her shoulder against his stomach she shoved past and made her way to the elevator. She was leaving and nothing he said could stop her. Right now nothing really mattered.

"You came to my house last night soaked and upset and I didn't ask what was the matter." He paused for a moment and sighed. His voice had softened considerably and Relena stopped to listen but didn't turn around. "I know it has something to do with Heero…just tell me so I can help you."

Relena felt as if all the air had been sucked from her body. Just the mention of his name brought her defenses down. She swallowed the lump in her dry throat and tried not to appear shaken, but she knew she had fallen.

"I don't want you hurt Relena. Tell me or Noin, someone…" He stopped and sighed one more time as if he were going to say more but decided not to. "Take the day off Relena." Without another word she heard his shoes swivel on the hard carpeted floor and disappear down the hallway.

Relena didn't turn to catch a glimpse of him, but continued to walk. She was right back were she had started the night before, lost and confused. All she could hear the whole way to the elevator were her shoes making muffled clanks on the carpeted cement floor. Even that was distant though it was like a faint echo in her brain. The walk seemed to take forever and when she finally reached the elevator and pushed one of the glowing plastic buttons she felt as if she'd traveled miles. A small ding reached her ears and lifting her sullen eyes she stepped onto the elevator. In a daze she pressed the button for the ground floor. In that silent empty chamber memories washed over her in broken scattered thoughts.

* * * * * * * * *

Relena giggled when she saw the confused expression on Heero Yuy's face. He was looking determinedly at a two twisted pieces of metal. It almost astounded her that this dumbfounded him so greatly. He was, after all, the perfect solider and greatest strategist there ever was, and he couldn't figure out something so simple. Suppressing another giggle she watched him pick it up carefully between his fingers and grasp the ends of the small pieces of silver steel. Giving them each a jiggle he twist the first and then the second. For a moment he paused as if in deep thought and then he dropped the pieces again anger stealing away on his hardened features. This was too much Relena couldn't hold it any longer. She laughed. The action only made him scowl more and Relena quickly covered her mouth and attempted to stop. She was successful after a moment and decided she was calm enough to speak.

"Do you want me to show you again Heero?" She asked grinning madly. Without waiting for a comment she reached out and picked up the pieces of twisted metal. Making sure to over dramatize for him she held the pieces in front of his face and pulled on either end showing they were stuck together.

"Just do it, Relena." He said in slight annoyance.

Relena smiled broadly and make a slow twisting movement with her fingers. As if by magic the two pieces came apart. "It's easy." She told him. "As soon as you get the hang of it that is." She smiled again as Heero pulled the pieces from her hands. He still looked mad. Relena watched him look at the toy critically and then tossed it haphazardly over his shoulder and into the grass.

"Hey!" Relena protested. "Why did you do that?" She wasn't really angry though she just thought it was humorous. She couldn't really be mad at him. Before she could go after it Heero gently grabbed a hold of her wrist and pulled her to him. Relena couldn't suppress her happy smile as his lips descended on her in a brief chaste kiss. Sometimes he took her breath away.

"Let's go do something else." He offered coyly and kissed the side of her mouth teasingly.

Relena pulled back a few inches and smiled her eyes sparkling in mischief. "You're just mad because you can't do something I can." She told him sweetly. "And nothing you do will make me forget." With that she skipped out of his reach and went in search of the toy.

"Well see about that." He called at her and sprinted after her.

* * * * * * * * * * *

The abrupt jarring of her momentum brought Relena back to the present. A ding sounded and she stepped onto the ground floor. Sometimes Heero was so sweet bringing her stuff, playing, he was so unlike the monotone man she'd fallen in love with at first that it astounded her, and pleased her to no end. But more recently it was something else. Heero was…he'd regressed….? Relena wondered if that was the right word and decided it was. When he had pulled closer to her in times of pain and uncertainty it now seemed that he pulled from her. He ignored her attempts to talk to him. He brushed off her confessions of love; he even went as far as to ignore her. Then worst of all had been the fights. She knew that all of that wasn't his fault. She was just as stubborn as he was. The fights were the worst though.

* * * * * * * * * * *

Relena sat ringing her fingers nervously and starring at the clock. It was the second night in a row that he'd done this. He was missing, again. He never called, never told her were he was at. Had he gone on some secret mission? Were her last words to him going to be 'See you later.' She thought miserably and leaned her anguished face into her hands. Why hadn't she said anything more meaningful? Why had see not told him that she loved him this morning? The thoughts raced through her mind in a wild rampage of fear and disbelief. What if he never came home? That thought alone was enough to make a tear stream down her pale face. Would she be able to take it if he was gone?

Honestly she didn't know. Sure she had almost lost him numerous times during the wars, and even then she had known that she loved him, but now she not only loved him she knew him. She knew the small things that annoyed him. She knew what kind of toothpaste he used. She knew about his annoying habits and knew that she would miss every one of them. She was passed in love.

'Is there even such a place.' She thought to herself and looked at the clock again, 3:00 a.m. As she gazed at the flashing digital lights she tried to find a words to describe what she felt for Heero Yuy, but there their wasn't a word in the world to describe how deep and passionate her feelings for him ran. Another sob escaped her throat and distantly she heard footsteps. 'Could it be him?' She wondered and lifted her head up and wiped her eyes. She wouldn't let him see her crying.

The footsteps came closer and Relena straightened her position in her chair and waited for him to open it. There was a slight pause as he stood outside the door, doing something, but then the light wooden door swung inward quietly and there stood Heero. He was still in his uniform even though his tie was loosened and his hair a little crazier than usual. She appeared as if he were trying to keep quite. Was he worrying about her, or just about being caught?

"Where have you been." Relena asked spoke the man as far as to make him jump a little. Her voice sounded shriller than she had intended, but it was too late to take it back now.

He looked at her for a moment and then his eyes narrowed. "Why?"

'Why Relena thought, why?' She wanted to scream at him and tell him she was worried, but instead something else escaped her mouth.

"I have a right to know Heero." Her voice had risen another octave and she was almost screaming at him. He still stood there though his face blank and maybe a little annoyed. He didn't have the right to be mad though. She was the one that had been waiting and worrying about him all night.

"Hn." was the only response Relena received from him. With that said he turned to the bed and sat down without another word he began to untie his shoes.

"I deserve an answer." Relena spat at him. Knowing she was making matter worse, but she wanted to know, needed to know that nothing was wrong with him.

He merely looked up and raised his eyebrows. "I don't have to tell you anything." He mouthed sounding much like an eight-year-old child. The words infuriated Relena.

"I sit here worrying about you and all you can say is you won't tell me anything! I've sat up two nights in a row waiting for you! Last week you were gone four nights out of the week! Tell me were you're going." Relena was exasperated more so with his inattentiveness than anything.

"No, one asked you to wait up Relena." He told her firmly and got off the bed and headed toward the bathroom.

Relena immediately blocked his way. "How can you say that?" She asked and looked into his eyes searching for something, but there was nothing. Then it hit her. He didn't care that she had been waiting up for him. He didn't care that she felt hurt every time he went out and didn't tell her were he was.

"I don't want to start with you Relena. Just get the hell out of my way." With thought he brushed her firmly out of his path. The movement only made her stumble, but it was enough.

"It's too late now." Relena yelled after him hiding her hurt with anger. "You started this when you decided to leave me out of your life. I'm leaving you alone until you tell me."

"Look Relena." Heero turned around to look at her, but this time his face showed anything but nothing. Heero was mad. The face was frightening and Relena backed a little from her position and widened her eyes in fear. "You don't need this from you. Just stay out of it okay. It's none of your business." With that he went into the bathroom and slammed the door.

Relena watched the door until she heard the shower coming on. When she knew he wouldn't hear her she sank to her knees and cried. How was it that even though he hadn't raised his voice and had only said a few phrases it could hurt so much? It wasn't how he said it though. It was what he had said. Each sentence a cutting insult tearing her down inside and filling her with doubt. It was the first time she'd seen the unloving look in his eyes, or maybe it was the first time she noticed it.

* * * * * * * *

Relena turned the keys in her ignition and swallowed. That had been the first of a whole series of ugly disputes. Each one had left her feeling more and more doubt and as the weeks went by they pulled from one another. Heero no longer pulled her close to him when he slept. There was no 'I love you' s' whispered before bed. In fact there was nothing. Each day it was worse. Sometimes they'd start playing around and somehow it would end up a fight. Some how they'd grown apart. The fight see remember wasn't the worst, but it was the one that made her realize she had to leave.

In spite of all her reasons, despite all her heartache, she missed him. She didn't know how it was possible to hate him and love him so completely that her body felt severed without him. It didn't make sense. If had been meant to be together why had things been so bad? Where had they begun to go wrong?

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