The Perfect Fan part 4
All righty I've got part four as a tribute to those of you who responded to part 3 despite my expectations. I got the inspiration for this part from listening to Coltrane and watching Ally McBeal (the funniest show on TV rivaled only by the the Simpsons). Another slight factor was that I had watch Eva a little before writing this (don't worry if you don't catch the reference in case you haven't watched it; it doesn't really take anything away from it). I got myself laughing over this one so hopefully it does the same for you. Bon apetit!

Warnings: slight OOC

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing nor Neon Genesis Evangelion from which there is a slight reference. Really OOC for the good relative of J.

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Part 4
The Perfect Fan
by Sinbad
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Heero had done some more researching on his dilemma and was pleased to discover Dr. J had a relative existing in this time who was one of the foremost scientists in researching the inter-workings of time and space. He had degrees up the wazoo and was on several NASA and NSA committees to develop space exploration and spy technology. This man could easily be the one to help him back to his life. He was aware, however, of the consequences of interferences in time from watching the old Earth classic, the "Back to the Future" trilogy. Though it was a mere story the possibilities were still feasible. Heero also considered it may not matter, as this could very well be an entirely different dimension or something else to that extent. In any event he was wary not to leak too much information about his origins or of the future.
Heero arrived at the posh home of Mr. Ikari late in the evening to be sure the scientist would be at home. He chose to knock on the door rather than let himself in to keep on Mr. Ikari's good side. He didn't want to have to threaten and especially not to kill Ikari for fear of the ultimate consequences. Opening the door was a rather stolid man with tinted glasses and white gloves.
"Can I help you?" he asked in a monotone voice.
"Are you Mr. Ikari?" Heero shot back in an equally monotone and slightly more intimidating female voice.
"Yes. Yes I am," Ikari replied attempting to one up Heero's imposing nature.
"I need to speak with you in a matter relating to your work," Heero this time tried to deepen Jasmine's normally alto voice taking down almost to a low tenor.
"Is that right?" Ikari now came back with a deep baritone.
"Yes that's right." Heero was now using Jasmine's voice to hit soprano.
"Ok. Come right in!" squealed Ikari in his best falsetto.
"All right," screeched Heero never one to be out done.
Ikari motioned for the young woman to come in. Heero took note of the advances inside the house that he had not witnessed elsewhere in this time period. The interior was comfortable looking with a functionalist flair accompanied with various neon detailing the gray and silver. Assorted gadgets were strewn about in a variety of stages of development.
Ikari took out a piece from a drawer and spoke into it. "What can I do for you?" he asked in an almost inaudible tone.
Heero stared at him unamused. He hit the small voice-altering machine away from Ikari's hands. "Knock it off!"
"I'm sorry. Sometimes I can't control myself. Say you wouldn't happen to be fourteen would you?"
"I don't think so." Heero replied curious at such a question.
"Oh," he said muttering to himself, "I guess I'll have to call up Shinji."
Taking control of the conversation Heero started asking about the anomaly he encountered. "What do you know of space-time anomalies?"
Ikari sat back his hand to his head looking up in deep thought. "Well I know they go great with tortillas. Oh and I've developed a special recipe using salsa, cheese, and curry. Curry is really what gives it a good kick." He licked his lips just thinking about it.
"Space-time anomalies with tortillas?" Heero was curious if he had the right house.
"Oh space-time ANOMALIES! I thought you were here to ask me about my special space-time guacamole. I happen to be a master chef as well as an astounding scientist. Anyway space-time anomalies…hmm. Well some theorize there is a rift in time and space at the epicenter of a black hole. We haven't yet been able to send anything through that point yet. We tried to send a few satellites through but they were demolished by the tremendous pressure in the black hole. That by the way gave me the inspiration for my space-time guacamole."
"Forget about the God damn guacamole and finish answering my question!" Heero was getting severely annoyed with Ikari.
"Hey, I won first prize for it. I know. I have some in the fridge. Taste it and I'm sure you'll want to know more."
Heero was now fuming. The only thing restraining him from smacking Ikari was his duty not to interfere with time. If he had his way Dr. J might never be born.
"Hmm. I guess not. Anyway as I was saying…the satellites were smashed … smashed like avocados for smooth, creamy guacamole, the green inner core becoming thick, rich, and slightly chunky. That's the way I like it. You know…" As he turned to face the young girl all he found was a slight impression in the couch.
"Humph. I guess she's one of those sour cream fanatics." He got up to look out the door. Not seeing her within sight he yells out, "That's right young girl. Guacamole rules. Sour cream drools…um…er…or gets really ugly when you leave it in the fridge too long. Ooh there's an idea. If I mix the two it could bring both dipping factions together. Yes! Oh Ikari you are a genius! Speaking of which, geniuses need their guacamole fix." Ikari shut the door and headed to the fridge to satisfy his cravings.
Heero meanwhile was heading back to the lodgings he had acquired to think of a new source to get him of this mess. How in the world someone like Dr. J got to be where he is from such a moron as Ikari…> He shrugged it off and continued on into the dark night.
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Well this may be the last part for quite a while depending on how I handle the next couple weeks of college. I'll do my best to write part 5 in my spare time. Hope you liked it. As always comments and criticism are welcomed.

-Sinbad