Seeing as how I got some great responses (
Oh, since everyone else is putting
disclaimers on all their fan fics, I probably should too.
I don't own the characters, or anything related to the
show....I just have fun with them...is that so wrong??? lol
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~~Mess Hall~~
Kim: "Captain,
creating another hologram on board would really be a
drain on the ships resources. Are you sure you want one?"
Janeway: "Damn
it, Harry, you sould like a 20th century computer malfunction.
'Are you sure? Are you sure?' Let me give you a crash course on
Starfleet hierarchy: Captain says do something, DO IT!"
Kim: "Fine,
lets go to the Holodeck"
~~Outside Holodeck 2~~ (why do they
call it a holodeck? it doesn't take up a whole deck of the ship,
so why?)
Janeway:
"There's a program running. Computer open Holodeck
doors."
Computer:
"What you're too lazy to do it yourself? Besides, it
requires a Level 9 access code."
Janeway: muttering
to herself. "Cadet - one...two...five...nine...Captain -
ten." normal voice "Yay! Computer, override Janeway
theta - uh...zeta - um... 5 - er...2"
Computer:
"This must be your lucky day, Captain, that actually worked.
You were one number away from blowing up the ship, you stupid,
stupid Captain."
Janeway:
"Smart-ass computer." taps her badge "Janeway to
Torres and Paris. Meet me in my ready room at 1959 hours."
~~Inside the Holodeck~~
Kim: Commander? I
thought I beamed you off the ship.
Chakotay: You did.
Janeway: Then how
the hell did you get back?
Chakotay: Oh who
knows, all the crap we've been through in the past 7 years, one
of them's bound to be a good explanation. Borg, Spacial Scission,
Altered timeline, take your pick. Actually, ask Seven. She's the
ex-borg. She knows everything.
Janeway: Whatever.
Computer, End program.
Computer: No.
Janeway: Yes.
Computer: Fine.
Within moments, the holodeck walls
shimmered back into view.
Janeway: OK, Harry,
make the hologram.
Kim: It's a little
more complicated than that, Captain. First we need to make a
holo-image of you, then find some command subroutines, and make
you look halfway decent.
Janeway: Fine, I'll
do it. Computer, make a command hologram of me.
Computer: Captain,
creating another hologram on board would really be a
drain on the ships resources. Are you sure you want one?"
Janeway: That's
exactly what Harry said earlier. Yes, I do.
Computer: 'Kay.
In seconds flat, Janeway was staring
face to face with...herself only to realize that the computer had
not actually created a hologram of her. It created--
Janeway: Computer?
Why did you create a mirror?
Freeze. Janeway, you can't even
let me finish what I'm saying before you go on? You're lucky I'm
keeping you in this story. I'm sure Chakotay would love to take
over Voyager.
Janeway:
Sorry, just don't give that ship over to that lying, two timing
son-of-a-bitch.
Unfreeze
Computer: To tell
you the truth, Captain, It's easier. I mean everyday, 'Computer,
do this. Computer, do that.' Can't you people ever do anything
for yourselves?
Janeway:
"Please, Computer? I want my hologram."
Computer: "You
sure whine a lot. Here ya go." A REAL Janeway hologram took
the place of the mirror. "Have fun getting it to the
Bridge."
Janeway: One more
thing, Computer, transfer the EMH here."
About a minute later, they heard a
reply from the computer.
Computer: The
Doctor is in surgery right now. Please have a seat and he will be
with you momentarily." With that, the holodeck turned into a
hospital waiting room.
Janeway: This is
ridiculous.
Chakotay: Captain?
Janeway: WHAT!?
Chakotay: Nothing,
I just haven't said anything in a while.
Janeway: And what a
good while it was. I need coffee. Not some sissy 'Earl Grey' like
some Captains I know of.
Computer: Too bad,
you can't have it. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!
Janeway:
NNOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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The next part will come in
soon....it's almost 11:00 and MadTV's about to come on. That
show's funny.