Seeing as how I got some great responses (

Oh, since everyone else is putting disclaimers on all their fan fics, I probably should too.
I don't own the characters, or anything related to the show....I just have fun with them...is that so wrong??? lol
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~~Mess Hall~~

Kim: "Captain, creating another hologram on board would really be a drain on the ships resources. Are you sure you want one?"

Janeway: "Damn it, Harry, you sould like a 20th century computer malfunction. 'Are you sure? Are you sure?' Let me give you a crash course on Starfleet hierarchy: Captain says do something, DO IT!"

Kim: "Fine, lets go to the Holodeck"

~~Outside Holodeck 2~~ (why do they call it a holodeck? it doesn't take up a whole deck of the ship, so why?)

Janeway: "There's a program running. Computer open Holodeck doors."

Computer: "What you're too lazy to do it yourself? Besides, it requires a Level 9 access code."

Janeway: muttering to herself. "Cadet - one...two...five...nine...Captain - ten." normal voice "Yay! Computer, override Janeway theta - uh...zeta - um... 5 - er...2"

Computer: "This must be your lucky day, Captain, that actually worked. You were one number away from blowing up the ship, you stupid, stupid Captain."

Janeway: "Smart-ass computer." taps her badge "Janeway to Torres and Paris. Meet me in my ready room at 1959 hours."

~~Inside the Holodeck~~

Kim: Commander? I thought I beamed you off the ship.

Chakotay: You did.

Janeway: Then how the hell did you get back?

Chakotay: Oh who knows, all the crap we've been through in the past 7 years, one of them's bound to be a good explanation. Borg, Spacial Scission, Altered timeline, take your pick. Actually, ask Seven. She's the ex-borg. She knows everything.

Janeway: Whatever. Computer, End program.

Computer: No.

Janeway: Yes.

Computer: Fine.

Within moments, the holodeck walls shimmered back into view.

Janeway: OK, Harry, make the hologram.

Kim: It's a little more complicated than that, Captain. First we need to make a holo-image of you, then find some command subroutines, and make you look halfway decent.

Janeway: Fine, I'll do it. Computer, make a command hologram of me.

Computer: Captain, creating another hologram on board would really be a drain on the ships resources. Are you sure you want one?"

Janeway: That's exactly what Harry said earlier. Yes, I do.

Computer: 'Kay.

In seconds flat, Janeway was staring face to face with...herself only to realize that the computer had not actually created a hologram of her. It created--

Janeway: Computer? Why did you create a mirror?

Freeze. Janeway, you can't even let me finish what I'm saying before you go on? You're lucky I'm keeping you in this story. I'm sure Chakotay would love to take over Voyager.

Janeway: Sorry, just don't give that ship over to that lying, two timing son-of-a-bitch.

Unfreeze

Computer: To tell you the truth, Captain, It's easier. I mean everyday, 'Computer, do this. Computer, do that.' Can't you people ever do anything for yourselves?

Janeway: "Please, Computer? I want my hologram."

Computer: "You sure whine a lot. Here ya go." A REAL Janeway hologram took the place of the mirror. "Have fun getting it to the Bridge."

Janeway: One more thing, Computer, transfer the EMH here."

About a minute later, they heard a reply from the computer.

Computer: The Doctor is in surgery right now. Please have a seat and he will be with you momentarily." With that, the holodeck turned into a hospital waiting room.

Janeway: This is ridiculous.

Chakotay: Captain?

Janeway: WHAT!?

Chakotay: Nothing, I just haven't said anything in a while.

Janeway: And what a good while it was. I need coffee. Not some sissy 'Earl Grey' like some Captains I know of.

Computer: Too bad, you can't have it. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Janeway: NNOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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The next part will come in soon....it's almost 11:00 and MadTV's about to come on. That show's funny.