Jubilee smiled. She and the boys finally had an understanding. The boys behaved themselves if they got what they wanted. Right now they wanted sugar, gratuitous cursing, and senseless violence. The six of them were settled on the couch watching the rest of the South Park marathon and scarfing down Sour Patch Kids and Twinkies.

She had trouble at first learning all their names, but it was easier with their nicknames that they called each other. Remy Jr, the oldest boy, (you know, the klepto) was called RJ. The seven year old (the pyro) was Jean-Luc, or JL. The twins who were both five years old were both called JP, but Jubes couldn't tell them apart. She did learn however that Jean-Paul loved milk, and Jean-Pierre had no control whatsoever over his kinetic mutant power. Then of course there was little Jean-Claude, or JC as his brothers called him.

Kenny had just survived a car wreck, only to be set on fire, and then attacked by a wild platypus. It was then that Jean-Pierre announced his need to "go pot-pot" which Jubilee took a wild guess to mean that it was his way of saying "go potty".

He scrambled down the hall and just as Wolverine was about to go into the bathroom, a waist-high blur pushed past him and shut the door. Minutes later a little boy came out. Wolverine frowned. It looked like Remy. Wolverine started to laugh to himself. Maybe the Cajun shrunk in the wash, he thought. The boy just looked back at him, raising an eyebrow and slowly backing away.

Jean-Pierre scurried back to the rec room. Wolvie shut the bathroom door and unfolded his paper. He noticed an eerie glow coming from the toilet, but oh well, this was the Mansion, all kinds of weird shit happened every day...

The kids, Jubilee included, were singing along to "Uncle F***er", when suddenly...

BOOOOOOM!!!

Seconds later, Wolverine was in the doorway, wet and smelling like...well... shit. He spotted the boys and popped his claws out. He gave a wild cry and came after them. They all somehow managed to duck and dodge and scurry out of harm's way with the speed and agility of toddlers.

Wolverine reached out and grabbed the nearest one, picking the screaming child up by the scruff of his neck. Unfortunately for Wolvie, it was Jean-Luc. The brat bared his teeth at Logan and pulled a lighter out of his pocket. Fwoosh! Wolverine no longer had eyebrows. An unholy screech escaped his lungs and he dropped the little pyromaniac.

Once free, Jean-Luc set the lighter to Wolvie's furred legs, that were bared by his denim shorts. Wolverine ran from the rec room, the stench of burnt hair trailing his exit. Wails of laughter drowned out Wolvie's desperate screeching. Remy Jr. and the twins high-fived Jean-Luc. Jubilee ran after Wolvie to see if he was alright.

Without a warning, Remy Jr.'s eyes widened until they looked like they'd pop out of his head. He sensed something very feminine very nearby. He followed his senses upstairs to the women's dorm. A door was slightly ajar a little ways down the corridor. It was from this room that the feminine presence emanated. Curiosity compelled him to enter this forbidden sanctuary.

It was warm in the room. A thick mist wafted into the room from the bathroom door that was also slightly ajar. Remy Jr. could hear soft humming within. He paused at the door, peeking through the crack. He caught a few quick glimpses of bare flesh before the woman spoke to him.

"I know someone's out there. I can hear you breathing." Remy Jr. realized his breathing was kind of heavy. "Show yourself," the woman demanded. Remy Jr. obliged. He opened the door, and his jaw dropped at the sight of the violet-haired goddess before him. She smiled at the expression on his face. Remy Jr. could feel himself start to smile too. In fact, his face began to hurt, he was smiling so hard. A small trickle of blood ran from his nose. " T-t-t...Tittie Boobie! Tittie Boobie! Tittie Boobie!" he laughed hysterically. "And Bouncie Bouncie!!" Jean-Claude added from behind him. (1)

The twins and Jean-Luc had also shown up by now. "Milk! Milk!" Jean Paul exclaimed, pointing at her ample breasts. Psylocke was seriously freaked. These kids have major problems, she thought. (2)

"Get out of here, all of you. You little perverts!" she yelled. The boys left, reluctantly. They went back to the end of the hall and sat atop the stairway.

"Wha' we gon' do now?" Jean-Luc asked. "Ah dunno," Remy Jr. shrugged. "Dere gotta be somet'ing we c'n do f'r fun 'round here."

Just then, the boys' next and very unsuspecting victim came through the front door...

End of chapter 2

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Author's Notes:

1-- Anyone get the reference to Kocho?

2-- I never said Remy's sons were sane...