"Matt, be honest with me…. Do I have something stuck between my teeth?" Caldwell James set her slice of pizza back on her plate and waited for Matt's reply with the utmost concern reflecting her emerald eyes. "You are staring at me; is that why?"
Matt laughed and ducked his head. "Sorry. No, no there's nothing stuck in your teeth. I just can't believe you agreed to have dinner with me. I must have sounded and acted like a complete idiot today at the hospital. I wouldn't have blamed you if you had run far, far away from me and never looked back. I would have been disappointed but I would have understood."
Caldwell wadded up an extra paper napkin and threw it at him. "You did and I almost did but then I decided I could trust you."
"Because I have a trustworthy face?"
When she laughed, Matt decided he could listen to that melody for years and never get tired of it. "Not exactly. But I figured with a preacher for a father you couldn't be all bad."
"How did you…." Matt was genuinely surprised.
"Know that your father was a preacher? Matt, I've been going to your dad's church for months now. I realized you must be his son when you mentioned having so many brothers and sisters. I don't think there are many Camdens in Glean Oak with seven children."
"I believe Mom and Dad might even be the only couple in Glen Oak with seven children let alone the only Camdens." Matt shook his head amazed by her revelation. "I should go to church more often."
"Yes you should. Your father is a good preacher. I should know; my parents dragged me to so many different ones growing up I've become a critical judge of clergy."
Matt took a swallow of his drink. "Why so many? Did you move a lot?"
"Just church memberships. My parents had their own twisted views of what they wanted out of church and what religion should be. Whenever they felt disappointed by a preacher they left, sometimes even in the middle of the service."
"What do they think of my dad?" Matt asked, curiosity getting the better of him.
"Well, they've never heard him preach. My mom died almost two years ago and my dad gave up on religion all together. However, knowing them as well as I do – and don't take this the wrong way – they would have hated your dad. He knows his stuff, which means he would be against almost everything they wanted to hear. But I think he's great."
Matt was surprised at how casually she mentioned her mother's death. He knew how wistful his own mother still became when mentioned her mother's death even after so many years. Before he could say anything a waitress arrived with the check.
Once they were alone again Matt realized Caldwell was blushing slightly. "I'm sorry. I usually don't talk about my parents so much on a first date. Let's just declare the parental units a non-topic for the rest of the night, okay? Is your job at the hospital just to pay the bills or are you thinking about pursuing all things medical as a career choice?"
"I'm seriously thinking about going to medical school. What about you? I haven't seen you on campus; do you go to Crawford?"
Caldwell shook her head, her expression almost wistful. "I went to Berkley for a year and a semester. But before the last semester started I quit. I was just wasting my time there. So I moved here because my roommate told me what a great, friendly place this was. I'm working at the Glen Oak Stables and Riding School."
"Horses?" Matt tried to picture the beautiful young woman beside him atop such a majestic beast. He couldn't do it. It still blew his mind that his youngest sister was riding horses at her school. "Do you teach?"
"I teach; I clean stables; I exercise and groom horses. I do a little bit of everything. I used to want to ride in a rodeo circuit doing barrel races or if not that, then I was going to go to the Olympics as an equestrian rider."
"Used to? But not now?"
For a moment Caldwell's green eyes lost their twinkle and she looked almost sad. Then she forced a smile. "Who knows; maybe I'll do it yet. There's a full moon tonight; the park should be a beautiful place to take a walk." She suggested, effectively cutting off the conversation.
Matt held her hand snugly in his own as they left the restaurant. Neither one saw a pair of familiar eyes following their every move. A smile played with the lips of the silent observer.
********
"This was nice."
Matt smiled at Caldwell as he walked her to the front porch of the little cottage she called home. The owner of the stables also owned the cottage and was renting it to her at a price she couldn't refuse. He hadn't seen the inside but the neat, almost fairy tale little home seemed to fit the young woman before him. He couldn't believe they had spent almost three hours walking in the park talking about everything and nothing.
Caldwell slipped her arms out of the brown sports jacket Matt had loaned her against the brisk chill of night while they walked and handed it to him. "I can't remember when I've had a nicer time. Thank you for a wonderful evening."
Matt put his hands on her shoulders and played with the little wisps of strawberry blonde hair that had escaped the long French braid that swayed gently down her back. His heart was beating rapidly. He'd never felt like this after a date with either Heather or Shana. Was this what real love felt like and could he truly be in love after only one evening? Even a foot away from her, he could almost feel her heart pounding as well, almost in sync with his. "Can I call you again?"
Caldwell blinked a couple of times and Matt was almost certain he saw a couple of unshed tears in her eyes. Had he said something wrong? Upset her in some way? But then she looked him straight in the eye and there was no trace of tears there, only a hint of doubt. "I don't know if you really want to."
"Oh believe me, I really, really do." Matt lowered his head toward hers, ready to brush his lips against hers in a tender goodnight kiss. But at the last minute she gave him a slight push away and turned her back to him. Afraid he'd overstepped his bounds, Matt hesitantly touched her shoulder. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have…"
"No, it's not your fault, Matt. It's mine." She turned back to face him and this time there was no hiding the tears that turned her green eyes into swimming pools. "I like you – a lot. When I agreed to go to dinner with you I thought it would be just a nice night out with a nice if not slightly goofy guy. What could be the trouble with a harmless date? I never thought that you and I would feel like this after just one evening. I want you to kiss me; I want to see you again but I can't. Not without telling you the truth. It just wouldn't be fair to you."
Matt's heart was still pounding but this time it was from fear. What was she talking about? He remembered John's earlier prediction that she might have a boyfriend. Was that what this was? For a moment she said nothing but taking his hand in her own, she led him to the wicker love seat on her front porch. As they sat down, she shivered slightly. Automatically, Matt dropped his jacket back around her shoulders. "Caldwell, what is it?"
"I should have told you from the beginning but I just wanted one night with a guy who didn't look at me like I was going to break in two at any moment. It's one of the reasons why I moved here to Glen Oak. I wanted to be around people who didn't know and wouldn't be freaked out by me."
Matt gently caressed her cheek. "Who could ever be freaked out by you?"
"Just about everyone who knows. You will too, Matt when I tell you. If I were any less of a person I wouldn't tell you. I would let us see where this could go and only told you when there was no choice. But I can't do that. I can't live a lie. It wouldn't be fair to you and I couldn't live with the fear each day that you might find out the truth and hate me for not telling you."
Matt said nothing but waited patiently for her to continue. In his head a list of possible scenarios were running his imagination overtime. Nothing he could come up with could be as terrible as the way she acting it was. Her arms were crossed over her chest and silent tears streaked a path on her cheeks. She refused to look at him. Finally she turned to him, her eyes full of tears and begging him to understand.
"Matt, I'm dying."
