DIGIMON: THE NEW TEAM
It was Monday morning, and all seemed well in the town of Small City. Small city was your postcard small town. You had your highschool on top of the hill, surrounded by small houses. On the east, was the Shitty Woods. On the west, the Cummings River. The north, Pussy Mountain. South, some highway to a city call Korn City. There were three streets that lead to the school. One was Corn Hole street. The second was Chicken Fucker road. The third was Loser street. Naturally, Corn Hole street was full of fags and rapists. Chicken Fucker road was where all the country hicks lived. Loser street is where the "normal" people live. In fact, our main character lived on the third house down on the right. It was a two story piece of shit house. Windows boarded up, door full of holes. Porch falling apart. Paint pealing. Roof full of giant holes. Not the type of house you'd want to live in. This is where Zack lived. He lived alone, parents long gone, and no girl friend to speak of. He was the reason the streets name was changed from Normal Street to Loser Street. Zack was your picture perfect loser. At the age of sixteen, the only thing he was good at was video games. The only girl friend he ever had was on the internet, and she turned out to be a robot. He has no idea how to kiss, and absolutely no idea of how to have sex.
This Monday morning, he was waking up on the couch, his bed being full of video games. He thought about going to school, but decided to fuck it. Probably a good thing, because he is very ugly. He was 5 ft, 9 inches tall. Long greasy blonde hair. Acne that would make the elephant man scream. He had bad eyesight, but instead of wearing glasses, he wore a pair of prescription sunglasses. He had a gut. He always wore extra large Korn shirts. Wore Levi's and sneakers.
He walked over to his computer, connected to the net, and began looking up video game cheats, and porn. He had just found a great site with tips for beating Digimon World, when there was a knock at his door. Zack got up and walked to the door. "Who the fuck is it? I'm busy!" yelled Zack. "Who the fuck do you think it is? No one else would fucking dare set foot on this porch but me!" yelled back a familiar voice. Zack quickly opens the door and smiles. "Hey Willie, its great to see ya. You come for another ass whooping at Twisted Metal?" asked Zack.
Willie was probably Zack's only friend. Which makes sense since Willie was kind of a loser too. No one really knew where he lived, but he always was able to score weed, beer, and any other form or alcohol. For some reason, chicks couldn't resist him. Maybe the danger element was a factor. The fact that he broke into other people's houses and fucked on other people's beds could be another. He had brown hair, which he wore almost as long as Zack's, but covered it up with a red baseball cap, which he always wore backwards. He was always wearing a black zip up shirt with a hood. He also wore only Levi's and sneakers.
"Shit man, is that all you think about is video games? Put the damn controller down sometimes and go out and get laid," said Willie. "Come on man, you know I'm trying to go pro. When I become pro, chicks will be all over me." replied Zack. "Fuck, dude you're gonna die a virgin," said Willie disgustedly. "Hey, let's stop insulting me and get to the point of why you're here," said Zack, as he sat back down in front of his computer and started reading up on tips on how to beat Digimon World 2. "Ah, yes. Well, I just scored some more bud, and thought we could skip school and smoke out, while downing these 4 cases of assorted beer brands," said Willie. "Dude, how the fuck do you get cases with assorted brands?" asked Zack. "I have my sources. So, you in or out?" snapped Willie. "Fuck yeah man, you know where the bong is," said Zack and he jumped out of his seat and grabbed his lighter.
Willie grabbed the water bong and loaded it up. Zack lit it up and Willie took a huge hit of it. He sat back, held in the smoke for a little bit, then exhaled it. "Damn, man. That's some grade A shit. You gotta try it," said Willie. Zack loaded up the bong and had Willie lit up for him. He took a hit, always enjoying how smoothly the smoke went down. He leaned back and exhaled the smoke, laughing as he did so. "Dude, that's the shit. Toss me a beer," said Zack. Willie tossed him a can and popped open one himself. In less than an hour, the two of them smoke an ounce and drained two cases. They were both really fucked up. "Dude, we're down to two cases of Beerskey," said Willie. Beerskey was a locally bottled beer and whiskey combination. It was very strong. One can will knock you on your ass. A case could kill a yak. "Toss me one," said Zack. He had gotten back online, and was cruising along sites he never even heard of. All of a sudden, a little yellow lizard thing popped up on the screen. It was followed by a weird little blue lizard like thing. "Well shit. It would be our luck that the new digidestined would be two pot head, drunk teens," said the yellow lizard. "Hey Agumon, that's not cool. They may seem a little unwholesome, but if they are the chosen ones, then we have to protect them," said the blue lizard.
"Uh, Willie, come check this out," yelled Zack. Willie staggered over to the computer. He saw the two lizard like things and started laughing. "Shit man, what ever was in that batch, It's fucking me up. All I see are two weird ass lizards like things," said Willie between laughs. "Uh, dude I see them too," said Zack. He popped open his Beerskey and almost downed the whole can. "Hey, hey, hey! Take it easy man, I need you alive. I don't wanna be a partner to a corpse," yelled the blue thing. "Who the fuck are you guys?" asked Willie. The yellow lizard spoke up first. "I'm Agumon. I've been sent to protect you Willie. The blue guy is Veemon. He's been sent to take care of Zack. You guys are the new digidestined team. We need you to come to the digital world. There is an evil that must be stopped. Are you guys ready? We're transporting you now."
"Huh, what the fuck is this. Willie grab the bong, I think I need another hit," said Zack. Willie had just grabbed the bong, loaded up, and lit up for Zack, when a mysterious glow came from the computer. Just as Zack started taking a hit, the glow enveloped them, and then they disappeared. The next thing the two of them knew, the were flying through some weird multi colored area. Then, they some how had wound up in the middle of a jungle. Zack just stared at his surroundings. Willie was completely confused. "Hey Zack, exhale!" yelled a voice. Zack suddenly became aware that he still was holding in his hit. He exhaled, almost choked, and fell on his ass. Veemon walked out from behind the bushed and patted Zack on the back. "Whoa buddy, you need to take it easy there. That shit will kill ya if your not careful." Willie started yelling. "Dude! What the fuck is going on?? It didn't smoke that much. There must have been something in the beer. Fuck, that's the last time I steal beer from a mental hospital." He started to run, but tripped over Agumon. "FUCK! Watch where your going Willie. I'm here to save your fucking ass and you just walk all over me," yelled Agumon. Willie continued to scream and ran, right into a tree. He fell to the ground, knocked out. "Well, there's good news. How's your guy handling this Veemon?" asked Agumon. "Pretty good. Still kinda not all there though," said Veemon. That's when Zack decided to finish his Beerskey, and was knocked out himself. "Well, I guess we better drag them to the primary village. We have alot of work to do," said Agumon. "Yep, let's go," agreed Veemon. They both grabbed Willie and Zack and started to drag them across the ground.
Well, there you go guys. How do you like? More to come.
