Lost and Found
By: rainjewel
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Hitomi
I can't go to sleep. I lie on my bed curled like a kitten. All I can remember is that boy I met today, the boy who called himself Migel. I know his real name is Ryan.
Ryan Michael Labariel.
I clutch my chest as the old hurt feeling sweeps through my heart. I thought he'd been gone for two years, but still I can feel the emptiness.
Ryan Labariel was a two-year exchange student from England a couple years ago. He made our duo (Yukari and I) a trio. He would study with Yukari, and even got talked into dance classes once. They always did things together.
Ryan was my running partner. We'd always run at sunset, and he'd hum the weirdest tunes. It was one of his weird little quirks. I smile now, thinking of him.
…"What was that delightful melody?"…
…"'Octopus' Garden' by the Beatles."…
…"Octopuses have gardens?"…
…"According to Ringo Star they do."…
We spent a few good years together. Then our world fell apart.
Over the time that we three spent together, it was evident to me that Yukari liked Ryan more then "just a friend". One night she came from a party, crying her eyes out. I thought she was drunk, or even worse, high.
But it was worse, much worse.
Apparently she had kissed Ryan on a whim, and he hadn't responded. At all. "Still as stone," she had said; just like how he reacted when I embraced him today. The hurt in my heart increases.
He was so distant after that. Oh yeah, he still did everything with us, but an invisible barrier had been placed between us. Those were some trying months.
I remember the day he left. I remember those smiling gray eyes shining with the sun's dying rays. We'd raced that day, and I had finally won. With his long legs he'd usually win with ease. I remember waving to him as he walked over the hill towards his house after he'd dropped me off at mine. I had never seen him since then.
Until today. Today, when he was dressed in a Zaibach soldier uniform. Why? Why would he leave? How did he get here?
"Hitomi?" A voice calls out, breaking my reverie. I open my eyes and sit up slightly, propping my body up with my elbows. Standing in the doorway is a thin figure. A blazing red shirt sticks out in the darkness. It must be Van.
"I'm sorry, I didn't know you were sleeping," he whispers apologetically. He begins to shut the door.
"No, no, don't leave Van. I wasn't sleeping," I say I sit up fully now, making sure that my nightshirt covers me. It's a shirt of Allen's that he lent me. It's all stiff with starch, but it smells nice and fresh. Van hesitates slightly then steps inside the room, shutting the door behind him.
"I couldn't sleep," explains Van. He slowly makes his way to the bed. This is odd. He's never been anything but a pig-headed jerk. Now he's all, well, normal. Van sits down next to me, resting his head against the wall. He's careful not to sit on my feet. I wiggle slightly out of my blankets and move so that I'm sitting beside him, our backs leaning against the wall.
"Neither could I," I reply, shutting down my thoughts. So what if Van's acting a little strange? Maybe this is the true Van. He doesn't make a motion to respond to my comment, only draws his knees up to his chest. Some nameless emotion washes over me briefly. I realize I want to hold him. Now that's odd. Chalk up a point for stupid teenage hormones. Next thing you're going to do is throw your arms about him and passionately kiss him, right?
"Are you thinking about your brother?" I ask instead. I remember the tall, pale-haired man, the one they called Folken. I don't know how I knew that Van and Folken were related, for they certainly don't look alike. I think I just knew it instinctively. They wear the same stoic masks to hide their emotions. I've been thinking about him a bit since this afternoon. Hell, I've been thinking about everyone on that damn fortress.
Van says nothing, just nods. He's obviously caught up in the memories of his older brother, just like I was with Ryan. I realize that Van is probably feeling the same way I am, only on a much larger scale. I guess misery does love company.
"Van," I start to say. He slowly turns his head to look at me. His brown eyes are large and wet. "If it helps, I miss my parents too," …and Ryan…I add silently. Van looks at me curiously. Suddenly he stands up and brushes his shirt, ridding it of some imaginary dirt. Oops, getting to close for comfort.
"I have no brother. At least not one worthy of feeling anything for," Van says carefully, trying to conceal his sadness. I'm sorry Van Fanel, but I see your sorrow as purely as I see mine, I think a little bitterly to myself. Van slowly walks to the door. Damn it, he's leaving already. I guess I couldn't hope for a long involved talk. Van suddenly stops and turns around on his feet.
"Thank you," he says with unusual thoughtfulness. He then slips out the door in a flash of red. Dang! I wish he'd come back. I really want to talk someone right now. As if on cue, Van's head pops through the door. I hold my breath.
"Hitomi, I'm…I'm sorry I took you away from your world," Van says in a thin voice. For once his face is soft, and the weariness of his hard 15 years shows. It makes my heart break…and melt.
"I'm not," I say truthfully. Van looks at me curiously, then a little half-smile dances across his face. It's a beautiful smile. I beam a smile back at him, quirking my head to the side. He utters something that sounds a little like a chuckle. I must look like a moron, sitting in a too-big shirt and socks smiling like a maniac. He makes a half-motion to come back inside.
"VAN-SAMA!" a voice calls out. It's the annoying catgirl Merle. I feel my smile fade like the sun. What great timing Merle has, that damn furballi. Van's his eyes dull and then his face once again becomes a mask of courage. Argh!
"Good night Hitomi," he says a little too gruffly. Mentally I shake my head and slap him silly.
"Good night Van," I say. "Sweet dreams," I add impulsively as an afterthought. His eyes spark briefly and he slips his head out of the door. And to you too, Ryan.
I sigh. Always returning to Ryan. I snuggle my way back under my covers and close my eyes. Surprisingly I find myself to be greatly fatigued. I guess being almost killed by your long-lost friend on another planet can really take it out of you. I hear myself laughing out loud at my comic bitterness, and then everything fades to a world of darkness.
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