Cloud's POV
Was I already beginning to forget her? What did she look like? Her hair, her eyes, her lips...
I knew Tifa was the one I loved, but how could I not remember her face? My memory was empty, a black hole, void of all thoughts and pictures...
I sat with my back against a broken brick wall, struggling to remember her. No, I couldn't forget! Please...
Was I too weak? Was my mind too weak to withstand against this mysterious power that made one forget life?
And after this loss of memory...then what? When I was a creature with no past, what would become of me? Would I then relive a nightmare chosen from my fleeting memory to haunt me for evermore?
"Cloud... Is that you!" a voice called to me.
I turned slowly and saw a huge man standing near me, a gun-arm poised in place of a hand. I stood up immediately.
"Yes? I'm Cloud," I announced to the strange man.
"Damn Cloud, we'd thought we lost ya back there. You okay? Where's Tifa at? What is this place? I thought we was killed by Sephiroth? Where the hell are we?" The dark skinned man looked relieved by the confirmation of my name and sputtered out a thousand questions."I...I'm sorry, do I know you?" I was confused.
"You dumbass! Don't play around with me! We're in serious trouble 'cause Sephiroth ain't dead! I'm not sure what happened, but I'm so glad we found ya. Where's Tifa?" He asked looking around."Tifa...? You know Tifa? And Sephiroth? How do you know them..? We must have met before," I reasoned, staring blankly at the man with the gun-arm.
"Shut the hell up, Cloud! I'm serious! Stop playing around and get yo' spikey-ass over to Tifa and tell her where're back. How'd you wake up anyway? She was so worried about you, she wouldn't leave your side! I talked to her and couldn't convince her to leave you for just a damn minute! Damn man, where the hell is everyone else?" He began looking around yelling names of people.
Tifa was worried about me...? She wouldn't leave my side? This man must have known Tifa and must have died, that's why he's down here. His memory must still be intact... Should I know him?
Wait, did he say he talked to Tifa...?
"Did you tell Tifa that she has to wake me up! That's how I can get back! Then I can end all this and see her again! Tell me you told her to wake me up!" I yelled at him, almost hysterical.
"What the hell are you talking about? Why would she need to wake you up now that you're awake? And why the hell you acting so strange?" he demanded.
"Who are you?" I finally asked, the question not leaving my mind.
"Who AM I?? You better know who I am, Cloud! It's me, Barret! What's gotten into you?" Barret yelled back at me.
"I...I don't remember you. And you must not know what happened. You fought Sephiroth, right?" I asked him. I sort of remembered who Sephiroth was.
"Yeah, and we was kickin' his ass. But he summoned some sort of super comet that killed us all, I thought..." he looked puzzled. "We woulda won if you and Tifa had been there!"
"You're dead then. This is Hell. I'm sorry to be the one to welcome you. You'll start losing your memory like I have and then I've been told that you'll relive your worst nightmare. You will forget about your past life and be content with the torture here," I replied grimly, remembering vaguely the speech that Zack had once given to me.
His eyes widened, "You mean...I'm dead? And the others... Cid, Yuffie, Red, Vincent...are they dead too? Cloud... you're also dead?" He let out a slight cry.
"They are dead, but I am not. My body isn't dead, I've been told. And the only way I can return is if I wake up," I explained to this man who claimed to know me.
"Oh shit..." Barret sighed, sitting down. "I...I'm dead?" Apparently, some depression was sinking in.
I slowly walked away, leaving the stranger alone with his thoughts. If only he would've told Tifa to try and wake me up..."Dammit!" I shouted in anger. "I'll be stuck in this hell forever!!" I yelled and punched my fist against the wall, causing a spider-web to crack through it. "That's it! I'm finding a goddamn way outta here!" I yelled to the sobbing souls and began running through the gray caves.
The caves were like a labyrinth, but I kept running, taking random turns and running until my breath was short and my head ached. It seemed like I had been running for hours, but when my legs collapsed beneath me, nothing looked different-nothing was changed. It was the same place!"Goddammit!" I screamed and pounded furiously against the wall, breaking little pieces apart until my fists streamed with blood.
I had to get out of here...
I lay on the cold granite floor, out of breath. My fists were coated in glossy blood and they ached so much I could barely move.
"Well, well, well, look who made it this far..." Zack's voice trailed through the air."Zack! I'm beginning to forget everything! A man with a gun-arm just saw me and claimed to have known me and Tifa! I have to get out of here, Zack! There MUST be a way!" I insisted, looking up at him and noticing he was standing right above me.
"Yeah, you certainly ran a long way from where you were before. I didn't expect to find you out here. You're near to the original LifeStream portal that led us all here," he smiled at the thought and began to walk away.
"Wait! Wait...what original Portal?" I grabbed his shoe so he couldn't leave.
"Oh, it's just the original link back to the main LifeStream. It's how the LifeStream put us all here to begin with. It sends us through the portal and our souls end up in this plane. I believe it's the way all the souls can get here now. They first must go through the LifeStream, then the LifeStream will flush it into this realm. See, I'm smart, I know all this stuff," he tapped his head and announced proudly, "I was part of the original souls of the LifeStream...you know, before the Jenova leaked into it and all." He frowned, maybe trying to remember it clearly.
"Ah..." I thought for a moment. "So could I get back into the main LifeStream through the portal?"
"I...I dunno," he shrugged. "Many have tried before, even me, and none have succeeded. What makes you think YOU can succeed?"
"Well, I mean, I'm not dead or anything, right? So technically, if I'm not dead it shouldn't reject me and throw me back here, right?" I thought it over carefully in my mind.
"Hmm...You could try it. But I'm stuck here for good. As long as I keep trying to remember everything, I'll be fine!" he grinned like a child and walked away into the darkness of the winding corridor.
I didn't think he'd be fine. In fact, I thought he had already gone mad, but I didn't say that to him.
"Wait! Where's this portal? Is it near?" I shouted, but he didn't respond. Damn...
I needed to get back to Tifa... I couldn't forget her. Even if I forgot that other man with the gun-arm it doesn't matter as long as Tifa stays in my mind, everything will be alright.I continued walking, nursing my bloodied hands next to my stomach, wincing against the pain. At last, I neared a strange green light glowing up ahead.
I entered a large room with a hundred or so souls roaming around looking panicked and fearful. And on the far wall, was a giant green disc swirling with bubbles and green liquid taking up the whole sidewall.
The LifeStream- this must be the portal...
"LifeStream..." I thought aloud and my hopes began to grow.
I took a step near it and watched as it spat forth a soul, who landed in the cavern and woke up, puzzled on how he got there.
My heart was beating faster and faster as I neared it, sweat began forming on my face and I knew this was it. I stood next to the portal and taking a deep breath, I forced myself to walk through it. Suddenly, I was floating through the sweet green liquid. I was surprised to find that I was allowed through! I heard a calming voice enter my head. It must have been the voice of the Ancients or the Planet.
"Cloud Strife. You alone are allowed back into these waters because your death has not come about yet... You took your own life under your own free will before your time... So, why are you here?" the calming voice whispered through the bubbling LifeStream.
"I want to go back, please send me back!" I thought frantically.
"You were selfish and stubborn. You couldn't live with yourself, that's why you killed your own mind. Why would you want to return?"
"Because I don't wanna lose Tifa, I don't wanna lose the only person I truly love..."
"You are still needed to defend the planet. You alone possess the power to defeat the Planet's most dangerous opponent. You let your friends down by caving into yourself and being weak... They have died because of you..."
"Tifa has died...? I killed them?"
"Tifa remains alive although the others have been defeated by your foe."
"Please, let me return to her..."
"You are not dead, yet you are not alive. You wish to return to your body, but you will have to die again in order to do so."
"Die again?"
"The pain will be more severe than any other physical or emotional pain you have ever experienced before, let you be warned."
"Why do I have to go through more pain? I was told all I had to do was wake up my body."
"It is not as easy as waking up. Your mind left your body through pain and can only return through pain. It is a simple matter of life. One can only return through what it came through. Pain returns through pain. Life returns through death because it is from death that you left life."
"..."
"Do you wish to go through a second death and severe pain to return."
"I have no choice. I cannot lose her. I need her with me again."
"So be it."
I closed my eyes and instantly I felt like someone had stabbed me in the stomach ripping through my organs and spinal cord, an intense pain I had never felt before spread like wildfire through my veins. I choked and spat up blood into the pure waters. My lungs had been pierced and I gasped for a breath.
My insides felt like they were being incinerated and I twisted around, crying against the relentless pain. I put my hands in front of my face and gasped in horror, my arms were covered in thick dark red blood.
I screamed and screamed like I had never before, wishing only that the pain would stop, would yield. But it only continued more intense and my eyes flooded with blood, everything went black but the fire went on, ripping through my flesh.
I heard the sickening snap followed by a crippling pain as my ribs broke and my ribcage shattered into fragments. I felt the stabbing sensation suddenly cut into my jawbone and my screaming was halted as my throat was torn out.
Every fiber in my body was struggling to keep me alive, my heart was pumping uselessly as all my veins were split over. The pain scorched my hair, my face, my body, my flesh, my bone and everything was numb against this ripping sound as my limbs were torn apart.
Then I felt nothing. I couldn't talk or hear or see or feel anything.
Lazily, I opened my eyes, expecting an ounce of torturous pain to go shooting into my mind, but nothing happened. It was dark red all around me, billowing red clouds of my blood shifted through the LifeStream in deep contrast with the natural light green of the waters.
Then the red disappeared and I shot back out into my body.
I snapped open my eyes and sat up, grasping for breath, squinting against the sudden light.
