Harry Potter Joins 'You Know Who

Harry Potter Joins 'You Know Who.'

By Rita Skeeter

"I knew it was coming." Fudge commented "Ever since I read Rita's article about him being a Parsletongue."  Is Fudge true or is he a wanker with his bleeding dog as is used by the muggles.

       So famous Harry Potter the ass hole has turned to killing at 'You Know Who's' side. But he doesn't kill people he kills animals. Yesturday he was spotted flying over a zoo singing to all the muggles and killing the innocent Koalas.

       He rides a Hungarian Horntail and deceives animals by fluttering his eyelashes and making them die with fear that his ugliness will rub off on them. But this doesn't put Harry off his life, he still aims to bring his parents back to life by making the most complicated spell. The morfinitus spell. It entitles evil and 25 million Koala souls to bring back half a person, where will Harry find enough Koalas to fill his dreams?

       Apparently he intends to find all the species and breed them and use polyjuice potion to turn dead people into them. Well his evil work will not be entertained by good and so he will be nothing if he restores his parents and all would have been in vain.

"He's popped his konk! Completely lost I say." Hagrid says.

"He must be possessed by the imperius curse I don't believe he would kill the koalas."

This oaf of a man thinks Harry's innocent? Well he has been put on trial for our safety.