Not Worthy

by

Princess McPhee

I have been to hell and back
But never once to heaven
For score beyond the hundred year
I could not have imagined it

But now I find my arms around
The savior of our world
Her hair is blond
Her soul is pure
Her mission will kill her soon

But my senses are alight with fire
Her touch is intoxicating
And I feel like I imagine heaven must feel
Like nothing could ever be better

I can do nothing to protect her
It is only destiny speaking
For this Slayer is growing weak
And the Slayer next will soon arise

This girl will go to heaven
I know
Because her work was good
But more than that shows the gods
In what place she should spend
Eternity

For now I feel my lifeless arms
Around her strong and snug
My arms will hold her tight
As her soul is swept away
And my lifeless eyes will weep
Until my soul should sleep

I wish I could just allow my body
To fall upon a broken, splintered chair
No one would know the better
But I would be rid this endless ache
And I would find if my efforts were
Enough
For me to ever see
That glowing, wondrous place

But I know I cannot allow myself to go
And when I hold her in my arms
I don't need to know what heaven is like
I hold the best place in the universe
In my arms for the last time

My tears fall upon her clothing
Soaking the thin fabric
And I wish
I could turn back time again
Make this hell-ful day never
Have been

Buffy Summers, I wish you well
As you join the ranks of those
Lost before you in the war
And soon, after you as well

I hope with all my heart
That I will see you there
One day, too

But I can promise nothing
This may truly be the last time
That I will lay eyes upon your
Beauteous soul

Because I may be damned
For an eternity in a dark
Damp place
That the humans call
Hell

My sins were not few
And I don't presume to know
What I do or don't deserve
Only the Powers That Be
Can tell me that

But do not mourn me, Buffy
Be happy in the place where
Happiness rules the soul
Because if I do not one day join you

Then
I am not worthy of your love
I am not worthy of your love
I am not worthy
Of you

Legal crap: Not mine. Never thought it was. Joss Whedon rules the world. Or, at least the Buffiverse.

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