Crown Impulses : When I Grow Up... by wallflower

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The guilt is mine I was untrue
The question is what am I to do
all I know is I got to try
To find sweet Lorelei
Make amends for what's been done
Cause I believe that she's the one

"When Mermaids Cry" Eagle Eyed Cherry

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A/N: A CHAPTER! A CHAPTER! A REAL CHAPTER! Well, I think it is. It isn't all..disjointed and stuff. Like the other ones. Though it's nothing next to the 8 pages of Kate, Leslie, and the like, the concisely pithy Mimi is trying! "I think I can...I think I can..." The song of this chapter is the one I used the lyrics for, "When Mermaids Cry" by Eagle Eyed Cherry.

As for Mary on 7th Heaven (4/23) WHAT A LKJSDLKF! She doesn't deserve Robbie...

Contrary to popular belief, I don't own digimon. I'm always reachable, net junkie I am, and contact info is at the bottom ;)

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It was dark outside; the moon was nearing the end of its cycle, forming only a sliver of a crescent that cast a vague light on the whole scene. The kind of light so dim you can't see your hand, yet you get the sense your hand is there, a slight streak in the smooth night air.

TK slid out of the barracks, and slightly smiled as he could still hear his friends "gentle" snoring outside. He took a cool breath of fresh air, and considered. Since Matt wasn't in the camp, and the generals had blown him away every time he confronted them, there were only 2 places Matt could be. In the infirmary or well…TK didn't really want to think about the other place. But the infirmary was hands off, no go, during the day, and nobody would tell him anything. So…he was going to find out himself.

He lowered himself so he was only about a foot off the ground, creeping along like a primordial monkey. Something hard hit the side of his head: the fence post on the side of the main path. TK swung himself around it, carefully sifting the dust with his fingers so he didn't stray off the path. This was slow progress, to say the least.

What if Matt was going to…say it TK,…die?

This was MATT, they were talking about. Matt, who had always taken care of him, Matt who had taken him to the park, Matt who had always been there. Matt who had saved his life when he fell into the river, Matt who had saved his life when he tried to commit suicide.

Sometimes TK couldn't stand his brother, Mr. Perfect, but now he wanted to take every single mean thought or word back. Entirely, totally. He had known his words hurt his brother, but he never took them back. He had always had this burning resentment, this hatred.

But it was doused now. Whatever embers there were left had been extinguished long ago.

TK's head yet again banged into something hard, and he cursed under his breath. There was definitely going to be a bump there tomorrow. The two miles down the road hadn't felt so long til now, when he realized his burning scraped hands and his threadbare pants, grains of dirt pressing into his knees. He felt the post with his hand, and discovered he had hit a fork in the road. "Infirmary to the left." He muttered. Or was it to the right? Trial and error, better than never, he reasoned, and continued moving down the left trail.

The war really wasn't what he had thought it was going to be. He was fighting for Japan, but for what? If Japan got Korea, what would change? It's not like the Koreans would suddenly start speaking Japanese and using yen. The Taiwanese wouldn't start making sushi and udon noodles their main diet. It wouldn't change shit, and wouldn't they fall eventually? Like all the great empires before, the Roman, the Byzantine, the Chinese for god's sakes. It was all this stupid cycle, rise and fall, rise and fall, fly and crash, swim and sink, live and die. Like a cicada, those crazy insects that would sing their heart and soul out for 18 days before falling off their trees and turning into brittle crunchy chunks, assimilated into the ground, that would have their 15 minutes of fame.

A breeze blew into him, freezing the sweat on his face instantly, creating a salty mask. He shivered, and glancing at the vague dark, discovered that he was almost at the infirmary. A few more minutes, and he would reach the door and find out the truth, good or bad.

Something hard and cold slammed into him, throwing him face down into the dust road. TK sputtered, and twisted to see what had happened. A metallic apparatus gleamed softly in the glow of the moon, a hulking shape attached to it. The man put the gun to TK's head. God no…

"Traitor." The guard whispered, before pulling the trigger.

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Kari had given up receiving a letter from TK. For now, no news meant that he wasn't dead or critically injured. But she still felt hurt. How could he not even bother to tell her he was okay? That he hated the army food, that he hadn't washed his clothes in two weeks, anything? WHAT KIND OF STUPID DIMWIT WAS HE? She started to cry. One that she loved, obviously.

Tai knocked on her door. She could tell it was him because his footsteps were different from her parents; they had this bounce, this springiness that made the floorboards reverberate with every stride. Even though they were a bit muted today. He hadn't gone to fight because he had broken his arm a few months ago, and it still hadn't completely healed. Not enough to fire a gun, the army said. Not strong enough to throw a grenade. It made him mad, because like their mother said, "Tai's a fight waiting to happen,", and he ESPECIALLY, ESPECIALLY, hated being left behind. He missed Matt, but mostly he envied him. Envied him standing there with his two good arms, ordering troops around, popping the Chinese. But he tried to make the best of it. And even though he usually tried to be out of the house, doing what volunteer work he could, it made Kari better to know that he was safe. At least she still had somebody.

He knocked again, and Kari grinned. She had been thinking about him and yet she had forgotten he was standing in front of the stupid door.

"Come in." she smiled, almost genuinely, the first in quite a few months.

Tai's usually jovial face was pulled into a perpetual grimace, his chocolate brown eyes, usually happy and glowing charged with negative energy.

Kari chose to ignore it. Nothing could get her down. She was going to be happy, as happy as those advertising ladies on the radio for toothpaste. IT'S IPEGA! WITH THE BRAND NEW FLAVOR! DANDY FOR YOUR TEETH! WHOO! "What's up?"

"Kari…the Ishidas. They got a letter."

She froze. A letter, a letter. TK or Matt, TK or Matt? PLEASE be Matt…

Mimi ran out of the house, streaking towards the Ishidas, her hair whipping into her face and becoming weighed down with her tears. Please be TK, God, PLEASE BE TK! Or some type of commendation, an award, a medal, who gives a damn, just don't let Matt be dead…

She ran into the house without knocking, dashing about the house looking for the Ishidas. They were in the living room, and Kari was already there. Mimi avoided the younger girls eyes. Either way, somebody was going to get hurt, and it pained her to ill-wish her friend, her sister, but…

Mrs. Ishida was hysterical, and Mimi instinctively hugged her. It was no secret that the mother preferred Kari to her, the steady, placid, polite girl to the vivaciously buoyant one with the modern ideas. But now Kari felt too awkward, out of polite protocol to embrace the older lady, who was now clinging to Mimi and sobbing her eyes out.

Her husband on the other hand was blinking back tears; he knew that if he started to openly cry it would only make his wife worse. In his trembling hands, he held the letter, a plain envelope addressed to Mr. And Mrs. Ishida, 280 Futagoza St, Apt 497. Odaiba, Japan 908218. The 3 pointed seal on the back shook any hope of the letter being good either of the girls had.

Mr. Ishida jammed his finger under the flap and shakily drew his nail across the length of the envelope, the ripping of the paper was the only sound in the room.

He cleared his throat.

Mr. And Mrs. Ishida ("What? No dear?" thought Mimi, and then mentally slapped herself for even noticing)

We are sorry to inform you (PLEASE DON'T BE TK…)

That your son, Ishida Takeru has perished nobily in the service. Though his exact intentions may not be known, it is assumed that he was trying to visit the infirmary in pursuit of his MIA brother, Ishida Yamato. The guard on call mistakenly thought he was a deserter, and shot him on the spot. We are greatly saddened for the price you have had to pay for our country, and if there is anything we can do, please do not hesitate to ask.

Mikomo Mali, 5/7/38 (555)555-5555

Mrs. Ishida had continued sobbing hysterically throughout the whole letter, while Mimi was now crying freely. But Kari hadn't moved. She sat there, silent, immobile, dry-eyed. She suddenly stood up, startling them all, and walked over to the phone, slowly, methodically dialing.

"Hello."

Vague mumbling noises.

"You would like to know how you could help me?"

More general tones.

"YOU CAN HELP ME BY SENDING MY GODDAMN BOYFRIEND BACK!"

Kari slammed the receiver into the phone, and faced the stunned audience; like some inexpert actress who had just come down with a really bad case of stage fright. Only she wasn't acting, the house wasn't a stage, and her life wasn't a play. This heroine is quitting. She thought before storming out of the house without another word.

Mimi was dying from happiness that it wasn't Matt…but MIA. What the hell is MIA? She could feel sorry about TK later.

She felt bad about saying anything at the moment, but she had to know.

"What's MIA?" she asked, glancing at the other two.

"Missing in action." said Mr. Ishida wearily, patting his wife's back as her body was wracked with another bout of sobs.

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A/N: Please don't kill me for killing TK...*cough*TK Takashi*cough* but anyway. I think this chapter was much better than the last two...please review! you guys have ALL been so awesome about it before! *glomps you all* And remember, I'm always contactable, whether my email, (joy_fishy@hotmail.com), MSN (same), AIM (sunshine ba ba), or ICQ (71018292).