DRAGON BALL STEVE
THE BOXERS SPECIAL
~~~Okay, this is Wiergraf again. This story is a parody of the Trunks special co-authored by my good friend Sir Scribnatius of Biscuit. This will be a chapter thingy, and will be very funny. I think. Anywho, we do not own DBZ, but we DO own everything in this story, so for all you copyright-haters out there, CHIPALT US!! Anybiscuit, to recap: Katherine Wiley is hot, we are the funniest people alive, and this story is ©2001 by Wiergraf and Sir Scribnatius of Biscuit. Enjoy.
Chapter 1: The Smell of Fear (or my feet)
G-Fresh raced home as quickly as his spleen could carry him. He walked into the door of his home. CheeseCheese, his loving mother and parole officer, was sitting by the bed with a single teardrop on her foot. He walked in and said, "Yo, motha, who is dat be's in da bed, yo?" Cheese Cheese. exploded like a galapagos turtle under anesthesia, "YOU IDIOT, THAT'S YOUR FATHER, HE'S BEEN DEAD FOR 3 WEEKS!!" Gohan, uh, I mean G-Fresh cried, "I didn't know he was dead," and ran out of the room crying. Fajita snickered as he poked Gokukuforcocoapuffs in the eye with a stick.
* * *
(9 years later)
Boxers ran into his mother's arms crying. The last of the beloved Steve warriors was dead. Technically, Grimlin wasn't dead (he was in Vegas shooting craps), but he was dead to Boxers. One by one, the Steve warriors died in battle against a hatred new force of enemies...The Midgets. First went Pickle, who was eaten by some guy at a carnival. Second, was Fajita, also eaten by the same guy (he's diabolical). After Fajita, Yomamma was next to go. He died of heartburn from some bad Mexican food and some old carnival pickle. Next were T-Money and Yahtzee. They forgot to get their prostate checked. Even the minor characters that aren't even that important (thus the term "minor") were killed by various other ways (hmmm...isn't this weird that the midgets didn't actually kill anybody?).
The only ones left were G-Fresh and Boxers. G-Fresh was 20 and pimpin' midgets every night (no, not those midgets, the other ones). Boxers was living with his mother, Bulmasaur. Boxers exclaimed, "Mom, we're not gonna be able to hide out here at Midget Corp! (yet, again, different midget)."
"I know, son, but it's the best we can do." said Bulmasaur. Just then, G-Fresh walked in. "Sup wit, you, B?"s Boxers yelled, "MY HERO, G-FRESH!!" G-Fresh dropped his J. on the floor and stepped on it. "We've gotta do something about those midgets, yo." Bulmasaur exclaimed, "G-Fresh, I have heard you've been fighting those midgets all by yourself. I'm so proud of you. You're just like your father. Gokukuforcocoapuffs never turned down a challenge either. Man, he looked so great in that orange outfit. He sure had a cute foot." "MOM!" yelled Boxers. Bulmasaur said, "Uh, um, sorry...BULMASAUR!!" G-Fresh winked at Bulmasaur and said, "Like father, like son, eh? Heh heh." Then they walked in a room and closed the door.
Two hours later, they came out. G-Fresh exclaimed with a tired expression on his face, "Scrabble can be one intense game." Boxers said, "Okay, let's get down to business." G-Fresh replied, "The true reason I came here was to talk to you, Boxers. These midgets have been terrorizing the planet for over 15 minutes. Nearly 122/123 of the population has been annihilated. I need your help." Boxers looked at G-Fresh with a suprised face. "I..I will, I guess...and stuff." Bulmasaur rebutted, "BULMASAUR!!"
* * *
G-Fresh screamed, "YOU HAVE TO WANT IT, BOXERS!!" "AAHHHHHHH," screamed Boxers, "I CAN DO THIS!!!" He powered up to his full strength, his hair started to stand up as if it hadn't been washed in weeks. Then he fell to his knees, molested by the drain of energy he had experienced. "I...I just can't do it, G-Fresh. If I pull out the Jenga piece, the whole thing's gonna fall." said Boxers sadly.
Boxers sat down on a rock beside G-Fresh. Boxers asked, "G, what was my father like?" G-Fresh took a drag from his J and exclaimed, "He was mean son of a b****. He cheated on your mom, smoked crack, had full-blown AIDs and once killed a 4-year old just to watch him die." Boxers jumped up and yelled, "I hate my father. AHHHH!!!" He ran off a cliff, screaming, and killed himself.
The End
No, it's not really the end. I got ya. After G-Fresh told Boxers about Fajita, Boxers sighed and said, "I'm so proud. I wish I could be just like him." Then the midgets came and killed them both.
The End
No, it's not really the end. I got ya, again. They decided to turn in for the night. They had trained all day. "Tomorrow's a big day, we're goin' after da midgets, yo," said G-Fresh. Boxers said, "I hope we can take them." "Me too, son, uh, I mean Boxers, me too." They slowly fell asleep with thoughts of fairies and sugar plums dancing in their heads.
* * *
The crack of dawn woke up G-Fresh, who lit his morning J. Boxers stood up, coughing. "Are we going after the androids today?" said Boxers. "What's an android, yo?" "I don't know, I guess I meant to say midgets. Nevermind." replied Boxers. "Word up."
They both got dressed, and walked out the door (after a bowl of Cheerio's, of course).
To Be Continued...
