Reaching for the stars, III
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Reaching for the stars III -- Finale --
By Foxyboy
"Starless" From Rurouni Kenshin
The clouds have passed and the sun shines on.
If only life were as simple as having to go through hell only once. If only...
Unsure, unknowing, even confused, that was what Aoshi was. He couldn't keep track of how his heart felt and how his being ached. He had no power over something that was even beyond a God's understanding. Without a doubt, Misao wasn't the small girl that she was before, not anymore the hyperactive kid that just wanted to play. No, she wasn't.
Misao was seventeen. That's seventeen years of not seeing her birthday.
He has his regrets, God knows he has his regrets! But maybe this was one of the more important ones. Maybe it's because it didn't involve him only, maybe it was because he was deep in over his head. Whatever the reason, he knew that this mattered to him more than any of the past issues he's learnt to deal with.
Misao was seventeen. God, she's already that old...
Aoshi broke the prevalent stillness. "Are you listening?" He asked the air. "I know you are. You've always been listening and you never did anything about it." Silence crept in, Aoshi's body clearly showing tension, difficulty and nervousness of every word that left his rarely parted lips.
"I want you to stay here and I want you to stay out of my life. I don't want you around anymore and there's no way in this screwed-up world that you're going to prove me wrong."
Why did goodbyes always prove to be so difficult? Why can't saying a few words be so easy?
"It's been great. We've had a lot of great times, you and me. But I'm not the same Aoshi that you knew." The same old Aoshi that we knew? Was there really an "AOSHI" that we knew? Did we even know who or what this person was? We had no idea. Probably, neither did Shinomori. "I've changed. At least, I'm trying to. Go away, this isn't the right time for me to talk to you."
Humanity has its flaws; some more evident than others may ever become. Flaws were flaws and no one had the power, nor the mind to deny this universal truth. There is no perfection and there is no higher state of being. Aoshi Shinomori was a man that knew of this first hand. Was there any meaning to his meditation? Was there any meaning to his existence and his constant search for a higher truth and his unending quest to prove himself to himself? There was probably none. But that was all in the past.
Everything's in the past now...
* * * * *
Was he ever coming back? Was the man that she knew off when she was but a small girl ever coming back? Back to her with arms wide open? Arms ready to receive her and the love that came with her?
Foolish dreams, she thought. They were that at least, just the little dreams that a little girl had in her little head. At most, they were delusions, the wandering thoughts of a madman, a person obsessed with another person.
Love was so complicated. I think she prefered to call Love a bitch.
"Aoshi no baka... How can't he understand?" Has anyone ever wondered why the rest of the world seems to hate you when you think that you'll never get what you want? What was the reason why Aoshi could never even try to say a single word to Misao that seemed to even hint of romantic interest? She knew that he loved her, it was evident in his eyes, in his tone of voice, and most of all, in the smile that he gave her, only.
"Baka, baka, baka..." She found herself saying in a monotonous voice that signalled only irritation. Was she not good enough? What was it that Aoshi wanted that she could not give? Wasn't she the kind of person that everyone said was perfect for the leader of the oniwabashuu? No... There were reasons why Aoshi decided to space himself from this girl but what reason could be more important than her love?
She was beginning to delve into mindless banter, mostly on the side of her so-called love. She didn't try to understand the complex psyche of this man, partly because it wasn't all that easy to read the mind of a person who hid himself so well among the thorns of battle. If she really loved him, wouldn't she at least try to love him even though he never showed that love for her?
She's been doing that for how many years now. Seventeen years... Seventeen years of suffering for this man that she was beginning to hate now...
Oh yes, love was indeed a bitch. Venus was obviously having a lot of fun with this girl.
* * * * *
There he was, standing in front of the place that was his home. A place that contained his family, the people that really cared for him. Three members were gone but that didn't mean that he had any right to leave the other members of this close circle.
He knew that he suffered from an intense inferiority complex towards Himura. Was it really an inferiority complex? Maybe it was more of this senseless striving to be perfect, to be the one thing that no one else has ever become... His training and meditation were the best examples of this...
But what is to be perfect if but to prove it to someone? Was he trying to prove it to himself? Was he trying so hard for such a selfish dream? Was he trying to prove that he was the best to everyone else?
Or was he trying to prove that he could be the best man for the best woman ever?
Now it was his turn to delve into mindless banter. The two had so much in common but no one ever had the chance to see it. Now, he had to show someone that they were more than two seperate people. Now it was his turn to show her that he really did love her.
Slowly, he entered the Aoiya. Stealthily, like always, he searched the rooms for the sleeping bodice of a certain birthday girl. She was nowhere to be found...
"...Odd. Where could Misao be?"
* * * * *
Daydreaming, that was what she was doing. That was what her stray mind was intently attempting to do as of right now. To dream of him, to dream of Aoshi holding her and kissing her. Silly dreams, she thought...
She always had this knack to see things in the wrong light.
"Misao..." A voice. The same voice that she dreamt of. The same voice that she wanted to hear so much. But now, she could not force her frozen body to face this man, this person that she was obsessed with. Why? She did not know why. She just couldnt...
Silence. The same silence that was always with him and every moment that he was with her.
Silence no more.
"Happy birthday."
Were those words that Aoshi spoke? Words that came from his mouth? Or more importantly, from within his heart? How strange, even scary, for Aoshi to say the word happy... Her body, once frozen by not knowing the possible circumstance that accompanied his preseence, was now freed by knowing that he did care...
That he could feel for her.
"Aoshi-sama..." She said as he caught her in his arms, her face buried in his shoulder. Her arms were wrapped around his torso, for the very first time. She never knew that Aoshi could feel this good in her arms... His scent, his essence, everything was going inside her brain, registering it for the first time.
"I'm so sorry for not being there for you..."
Now they knew that there was something between them.
Now love wasn't so much of a bitch as she thought. Venus sighs sadly and goes off to find another playmate.
Who ever knew that stars could actually be reached?
: : owari : :
Ramble:
1) The end, and it was one out of boredom. Sorry if it's crap. I don't feel so artistic now...
2) Any Constructive Criticisms? I know I suck at writing so I want you to help me! After all, How much could a little bit of your mentality cost?
The author would like to thank you for your continued support. Your review has been posted.