Consumption

Why did I leave? We'd saved Gaia and defeated Kuja. My friends were alive, ready to march home as saviors of the world. I should be riding into Alexandria upon a proud white horse, the knight in shining armor with Dagger by my side.

So why did I risk giving all that up? I guess I owed it to him. To Kuja. Finding out what I was made Kuja the closest thing to a brother I'd ever know. Not that I didn't think of Tantalus and the others as family, but we didn't share the same past, with the exception of Vivi. The black mages weren't so different from the genomes.

I lied sprawled beside Kuja's body, wedged between the monstrous vines that consumed the Iifa tree. His body—my brother's body—was crushed beyond retrieval. I had been close to sharing his fate, but Kuja had shoved me out of the way in his dying breath. He had wanted to die. I had failed to convince him otherwise. Failed to save the most previous thing a person could possess. Life.

For hours, I stayed immobilized, frozen in through, not caring to go on. Why should I? Kuja was dead. I'd failed to save him, the one who understood what I was. The only other blessed with a soul.

True, he'd been shown there was a better way than the life he'd lead, but he had never had the chance to live. Kuja had never felt the excitement of an applauding audience after a performance on stage; he'd never known the adrenaline rush of pilfering with his closest friends; he'd never known the joy of being in love.

Love? Dagger …

The image of Alexandria's young queen, Garnet til Alexandros XVII, came to mind. Summons, she was beautiful. So innocent, so pure, but that didn't stop her from being brave, putting Alexandria before herself. I'd been such a flirt back then, having meaningless flings with any girl who fancied me, not finding anyone woman who could keep my interest longer than a few dates. But "kidnapping" a princess in distress, the event that lead to saving the world, sure tamed this wild heart. Sure, Dagger cared about me, but why would a queen want to spend the rest of her life with a genome turned thief?

I sighed and shook my head, then growled in anger. Why should I feel sorry for myself!? Vivi didn't wallow in self-pity. I'd liked the thoughtful black mage since the moment he stumbled onto the theatership and accidently lit Dagger's robe on fire so long ago. Sure, he gave a lot of thought to who what he was, but he never regretting being a black mage! He could just stop living like the others of his kind had been. My friend knew the wonders and joys of life. His appreciation was only greater knowing what he was and what fate was in inevitable for his kind.

I tried moving, ignoring the thorn pressing dangerously deep into my leg. I could not die, could not give up! I am no king, but I knew I must live. For Vivi; for the rest of my companions; for Tantalus.

And for my love of Dagger.

How I got out of that tangled mass of vines is a mystery to me. I lost myself in my actions, mindlessly slashing and hacking with my daggers while crawling and stumbling through the maze of bramble.

Had it only been mere hours or had days passed when I finally emerged into the daylight? I had no longer to ponder it because I promptly collapsed into a mass of fur and flesh on the ground. I was battered and bleeding and physically alone, but I was alive. And that was enough to get me home.