author's note
I was working on revising this story some time ago. Though I'd love to complete the concept behind the story, I don't really write anymore, and I haven't played a game in ages. I focus most my creativity into art these days. I'm sorry, but I highly doubt it will ever be completed. I've left this piece here for the sake of fond memories.
For You
A Final Fantasy 8 story
written byShannon Jones-Chavez
Chapter 1
Irvine was overwhelmed with confusion and fear, as he watched the scene unfold before him. The doctors rushed about with almost cold precision, working determinedly to save the young life on the table. He almost felt guilty, for rescuing her, and bringing her here, knowing that it wasn't what she wanted. But he couldn't let her die, despite everything that had happed. A nurse approached him.
"I think it would be better if you waited outside. We won't be able to let in any visitors until she is stable." By the tone of her voice, he knew that that might not be very soon. He nodded his head and left quietly. Might as well go get Squall. He stepped out into the dark Garden hallway. It was always peaceful in the garden this time of night. The silence gave him little distraction from his thoughts. Irvine ran to the barracks, pushing his body so he couldn't think as much.
He arrived at Squall's small apartment, relieved to see the light creeping under the door. At least he's awake, still that's no guarantee that he'll answer the door. Irvine knocked. Silence. He knocked again. "Squall, it's important." He heard footsteps. They stopped at the door, but the door remained shut. "It's Rinoa, she's at the medical center, and it looks really bad." Irvine stepped away from the door and waited. The door creaked open as Squall reluctantly opened the door. His eyes briefly met Irvine's before he turned and headed down the hall without a word. Irvine followed him, knowing that it was no use talking. They walked painfully slow; Irvine couldn't stand it any longer. "Come on man! I know you're angry with her, we all are, but right now that doesn't matter."
"What happened?" Squall asked his voice cold, with out turning or a making any effort to quicken his pace. Irvine closed his eyes, the evening's events flashing vividly through his mind.
He had gone to the training center to go to the 'secret area' in the back. It had been locked since some kids had gotten mauled by a T-rexsaur while sneaking through the Training Center at night. Luckily, he had one of he few keys, so he knew that it was the perfect place to get away from Selphie's rage. Selphie's rage. He grinned at the thought. He hadn't thought it possible, but the small woman was quite good at throwing violent temper tantrums, especially when her boyfriend had a wandering eye. He jiggled the key in the door, and it opened with more ease than he had expected. He swung the door open without a thought; he had no idea that someone would already be there. Rinoa spun around, startled. Her ebony hair, stringy and tangled, whipped across her tear streaked and bloodied face as she looked down at him from her perch atop the railing. Her nightgown was tattered and covered with Grat blood, and the red of her own. Her gown fluttered damply against her pale ankles, her feet, bare and dirty. It looked like she'd come through the training center with no weapons or protection. Her eyes widened briefly in surprise, and then a look of serene determination swept over her. Irvine watched in horror as she smiled and let herself fall back, her arms outspread. Without a thought, he summoned Bahamut, and ran to the railing. He looked down at her falling figure, helplessly. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting and watching the Guardian Force appeared, gently snatching the fallen angel from the air. The great dragon swooped around, back up to the balcony, to drop Rinoa's now unconscious form into Irvine's waiting arms. Irvine spun around, bolting through the training center, Bahamut clearing the way to the door.
He ran through the hall, adrenaline pumping. Glancing down at her still form, he noticed that body was light, frail and thin. She looked awful, beaten and bloodied; yet a small smile curled the corners of her lips. He felt a deep twinge of guilt for everything that he had said about her. He would never be able to stand the guilt if she died. We are all guilty, he thought Quistis, Selphie, Zell, and I. We should have seen it coming, but we were too busy blaming her, hating her, pushing her to do exactly what she just did. He gritted his teeth and pushed himself to run faster. He rounded the corner and headed down the short bridge to he medical center. The night nurse stared at him wide-eyed for a second as he barged through the door. She then noticed the deathly still woman in his arms and rushed in to action.
"Jen!" She bellowed, "Call Dr. Kadowaki! Emergency!" and ran to Irvine's aid. Within minutes, they'd began working on her and had ushered him out.
Squall had begun to run, hastened by Irvine's story. His heart felt as if it was folding in on it's self as mixed emotions of fear and desperation, along hurt and betrayal surged through him. He slowed as they reached the Medical Center doors. He stood before the doors silently for a moment, Irvine his somber shadow. "Go see how she is." He said, still staring at the doors, unable to muster the will to enter. He wanted desperately to go to her, but she had torn his heart to shreds. He wouldn't repeat that mistake again. Irvine nodded and slipped silently into the Medical Center.
Things had quieted down. He approached the counter, catching the nurse's eye. She looked apprehensively at him, a cool rush of dread swept over Irvine once again. "She's resting under supervision." The young woman told him. Irvine nodded. He was never good at dealing with serious situations. He always left that to people like Quistis and Squall. Squall... He sighed and went out to the hall.
"She's sleeping, they won't let me in, but I'm sure they'll let you see her." Irvine informed Squall. The young commander seemed to struggle for a moment over what to do, then went in. He a nurse guided him to a room filled with a tangle of machines and IV's. The nurse in the room stood as he entered.
"Don't wake her, Mr. Leonhart. We had to sedate her when she came around. She's still very weak and needs rest." Squall nodded, and the woman left. He watched her still form under the lights of the machines, the darkness almost hiding the unhealthy pallor, bruises and abrasions. He approached the bed, reaching out to touch her cheek. Her skin was clammy, and her breathing ragged. His heart clenched tighter, she could rip his heart out a dozen times over, and he would still love her. It felt like a curse... this love of his.
"What the hell were you thinking?!" He muttered, glaring down at her. The burn of anger felt good. It helped lessen the stabbing pain that seemed determined to gouge out his heart. "Why are you doing all of this? Alienating all of your friends," not to mention leaving me, he thought, unable to even utter the words, "and now this." The anger felt good. It distracted him from the pain. He looked up to find a chair. It was going to be a long night.
Squall awoke to the sounds of a nurse checking on Rinoa. He rubbed his neck and blinked painfully as the nurse pulled open the blinds. He noticed that the nurse had removed the oxygen tube from Rinoa's nose, but the light revealed the extent of her injuries that the darkness had hidden. Her eyes were dark pits, her cheeks gaunt, and her body thin. Her small hands were wrapped in bandages, as were her feet and head. Her left eye was swollen, and her hair was matted with blood and sweat. Encircling her upper arm was the Odine bracelet she wore night and day. It glinted brazenly there, seeming to mock the entire situation. Squall found himself standing over her, too afraid to even touch her. All hard feelings towards her had melted the night before, and now he only wished to protect her from herself. "Mr. Leonhart, I need you to leave for a while so I can do my job." The nurse interrupted him from his thoughts. He nodded, turned to leave, then stopped and turned back. He bent and gently kissed her cheek. Her eyelids fluttered and slowly opened. He wasn't sure if she was fully conscious, but he took his ring placed it on the chain around her neck. "This ring has protected you before... hopefully it can protect you now.." He whispered to her, and left.
Irvine was waiting for him outside the Center. "You look like you need some coffee," Irvine suggested. Squall simply nodded and headed in he direction of the Cafeteria. "Did you find out the extent of her injuries?" Irvine asked hesitantly. Squall stopped. It was early morning, and the halls of the Garden were still absent of students.
"Gashes to the head, hands, and back. A particularly deep one on the right thigh. Minor concussion, and abrasions to the feet. Dehydration and several weeks of self inflicted starvation. There were also traces of toxins in her blood stream, from the Grat's poison... she's still under observation, so there could be more." He recited, just as if giving a mission report. Irvine placed a comforting hand on Squall's shoulder. Squall pulled away and said nothing more. The guilt was eating him up inside. How could no one have noticed? Several weeks of starvation...Several weeks of her wasting away. He shook his head. No wonder she doesn't love me, I didn't even notice her starving herself to death…
The gloaming is the hour just before true night makes it's way across the land. Pink and orange tipped the waves as the day receded into night. Squall sat, silent, still, watching the day leave. His hair ruffled in the sea breeze, and salt tainted his lips. It was a magnificent view from his Garden balcony. The Garden curved below him, arching out of site, giving the feeling that nothing but water lay below. It was his safe-haven, his only escape within the confines of the Garden. He could order the Garden anywhere, but he could never leave it. He rubbed his head, the headache had returned. More and more intensely it throbbed behind his eyes, blurring his vision. He rubbed his eyes and stared back out at the ocean, willing the pain away. He closed his eyes and let himself drift.
He heard Rinoa in the room before she opened the glass door to the small balcony. He kept his eyes closed; enjoying the quiet just a little longer..."So this is where you've been hiding!" she beamed.
He smiled inwardly, knowing exactly how she would look before he even opened his eyes. Amber flecks in dark brown eyes, glossy, raven hair with face framing golden highlights, and a smile, there would definitely be a smile. He opened his eyes, and there she stood, his Rinoa. She flipped her hair back and cocked her head at him. "Are you going to just sit there, or answer me?" She demanded. He blinked, what had she said? "Do you want to go on Friday or what?"
"Go where?" He asked, getting up.
"TO THE F-E-S-T-I-V-A-L." She repeated slowly. "You know, Masked ball, stay out late, flirt with beautiful women... Remember? Selphie has talked of nothing else for days." It still wasn't ringing a bell. How could she expect him to keep up with Selphie's ramblings when he had his duties to deal with? It couldn't be the Garden festival again, the last one was only, what, a few, weeks or months ago. "Honestly Squall, sometimes I wonder if you notice any of us at all." Rinoa turned away. He grabbed her arm, pulling her back. She glared angrily at him.
"Rinoa, stop. I'm sorry, I've just been so busy..." Her expression softened.
"I know." She could never stay mad at him, which was a blessing because he was so good at making her furious. She sighed. "The Garden Festival, it's a masquerade ball this year. Selphie really out did herself." She grinned and added, "with my help of course. You have to make sure you have a costume and time off if you want to go. Everyone is going, and they'd be disappointed if you stayed home." She kept her eyes averted, knowing he wouldn't want to go.
"Sounds like fun." He answered. Her jaw dropped and she raised her eyes to meet his. His eyes were smiling. Rarely did he smile with his whole face, but she could always see it in his eyes.
"Really?!" She squealed, jumping into his arms. He nodded, the smile spreading across his face. "I have just the costume for you!" she exclaimed. He rolled his eyes, knowing he wouldn't like this.
Zell was roaring with laughter, which was a frightening sight in his costume. He wore very little besides red body paint, a pair of horns, and looked strikingly like Ifrit. Squall groaned inwardly as Zell pointed at him and began laughing anew. "You should see your face!" Zell gasped. Squalls costume consisted of light plastic armor, molded and painted to resemble the knights' armor from the old movies.
"…whatever..." He found his way to a chair in the lobby, if somewhat awkwardly. Zell absently flicked a small fireball from the tip of his finger. It bounced across the floor, burning it's self out with in a matter of seconds.
"Z E L L!! Did I just see you practicing magic in the hall?!" Quistis bellowed from the down the hall. Zell jumped, dropping a second fireball onto his costume. He quickly patted it out, looked up a Quistis, wide eyed. Noticing the strange absence of Zell's banter, Squall glanced up from his usually brooding. Quistis smiled when she caught Squall's eye. "What sort of Commander are you, letting him get away with that non-sense?" The blond woman was stunning in her costume. She wore her red-gold hair down, the thick locks cascaded down her back and two curved wings stretched out on either side of her head. Her skin painted a shimmering yellow/green and she wore a green-gold scaled body suite.
Irvine eventually wandered in, reluctantly sporting a costume hand-picked by Selphie. Irvine and Squall exchanged understanding looks. "Women" Irvine muttered, plopping down next to Squall. "She's so damned cute with that floppy hair, bouncing around, 'just try it on, it'll be great!' she said...'We'll match', she said. 'A pair of fairies!' She said, 'it'll be sooo cute', she said... the last thing I want to be known as is a fairy…" Irvine muttered to himself. The costume wasn't too bad; it was just green, leafy and leather. At least he can actually move, Squall thought. Squall caught the sound of Rinoa's footsteps in the hall, and Selphie's bouncing stride could be heard close behind. He watched the entryway, unable to hide his anticipation.
Selphie made her entrance first, a pink, sparkling ball of energy. The deli-bobs with pink stars protruding from her hair bounced furiously. She giggled and bounced waiting for Rinoa to catch up with her. Rinoa made a stunning entrance, the gold of her shimmering, form fitting gown catching the dim light of the hall. Pale shimmering wings protruded from the back of her gown, and a thin gossamer collar haloed her angelic face. A mask of gold was painted over her face, both accenting and hiding her beauty. Squall stared, frozen. To his right, Irvine chuckled and elbowed him in the ribs, jarring him out of his trace. Squall stood, as Rinoa approached him. He took her hands. "…" he was at a loss for words. She smiled, and he knew that needed to say nothing.
"Ready?!" She asked, smiling wickedly. "Then we're off!" she exclaimed.
They arrived at the ballroom, which was brightly dimly lit with dozens of paper lanterns. Fog machines hummed from both sides of the room, creating a thin mist throughout the room. A band was softly playing an eerie tune. Much to Squall's relief, the entrance of a small group of costumed SeeDs went unnoticed by most the student population. Since his status of Garden Commander had forced him into instant fame, he sorely missed his former ambiguity. The music picked up, and Squall led Rinoa to the dance floor before she had to ask. He was getting better at anticipating her thoughts. He led her onto the dance floor, easily remembering what he had picked up from his SeeD Graduation over a year ago.
They continued to dance, completely unaware of their surroundings. The music slowly came to a stop, and Squall spun her into his arms. Her doe-like eyes held him there, frozen. A spattering of applause startled him out of his trance. He loosened his hold on her and looked around. Had they figured out who they were? He wondered, knowing the night would be ruined if he were followed around by nosey admires. He hated to seem so ungrateful, but he cherished his privacy.
"And just think," Rinoa whispered, looking around at the people, "before you met me, you didn't know how to dance." They were clapping because of their dancing? He wondered as Rinoa lead him from the floor.
"I'd forgotten how well you picked up dancing. When I was taking lessons, none of my partners were as good as you were tonight. I was floating." She sighed. They walked to the balcony over looking the ocean. Rinoa's costume wings fluttered in the cool evening breeze. The sounds of the party were drowned by roar of the ocean. Rinoa looked skyward and Squall studied the waves. The quiet is nice. Squall thought, Everything is easier to understand without putting words in the way. A swarm of cadets had found the balcony. Rinoa and Squall escaped before the cadets saw through the party masks and found their commander at the party.
Squall walked Rinoa through the dark Garden to her quarters. Her bare feet padded softly on the marble floor, her wings and shoes held in one hand. With the other she gripped Squall for support. He guided her easily through the darkened halls to her room. He stood in the doorway as she threw herself down on the bed, letting her wings and shoes drop onto the floor. Though her costume and hair were rumpled, she still radiated with beauty. He watched her, silently. She sat up. "Come all the way in, don't linger in the doorway." He obeyed, closing the door behind him. "I don't want to go to sleep just yet," she reasoned. He walked to her, still in his knightly costume, and sat down on the edge of the bed. "Here, let me help you with that costume, I don't think you can get it off on your own." She began undoing the clasps of the light armor. The armor eventually all came off, and Squall sighed with relief. His jeans and t-shirt never felt so comfortable. He took off the nose guard, which had hidden his infamous scar, and shook his head, tossing his hair back into his face. She laughed and brushed the hair from his eyes. He caught her hand, interlacing her slender fingers with his. Rinoa smiled sweetly back at him, her dark eyes crinkled slightly at the corners.
Then, suddenly the moment was shattered. Rinoa pulled away and rubbed her arm, where the Odine bracelet was an ever-present adornment. There was something stirring beyond the amber brown pools of her eyes. The restlessness that seemed to plague their relationship had returned. He didn't know what it was, but there had been something bothering her over these past weeks. He stood, knowing that it was time to go; she stood with him, and gave him a hug. He stroked her hair, and whispered into her ear. "I love you..." He felt her tense slightly before she pulled her self from his embrace. She turned away from him, hugging herself. He studied her, bewildered. What had he done? "Rinoa?" She turned slightly, still unable to look at him.
"You should leave now." She said coldly. He didn't move. "Squall, leave, please." She pleaded.
"What just happened, what did I do?" Her small hands clenched into fists, and she turned to look coldly into his eyes. The pain in the depths of her eyes burned like fire.
"I don't love you, Squall. Okay?! I'm sorry, but I just don't feel the same anymore." Her words were like a blow to his chest. He couldn't breath. A single tear traced its way down her cheek and she turned away from him again. "Please, just leave." Unable to muster any sort of reply, he gathered up the costume and left her. The hallways back to his empty apartment had never seemed so long and infinitely empty.
"Squall, hey, I swear, the coffee isn't going to get up and dance." He looked up, slowly becoming aware of his surroundings. Irvine was sitting across from him. "Come on, get your coffee and lets go back to the Medical Center, the morning rush is coming in, and I know you're in no mood to deal with the kids." Squall picked up his coffee as told and stood, following Irvine back the way they'd came
"Somehow, I know this all for you, everything she's done lately. Since she met you, everything she's done has been for you, some how..." Irvine mused. Squall looked off into the distance. Why would she do this, any of this? No matter how hard I try, I can't even begin to understand. The nurse woke him from his thoughts. "Mr. Leonhart, the doctor wants her to be disturbed as little as possible, so only you may see her for now." Squall nodded, leaving Irvine to in the waiting room. She looked no better than before, but she was now awake, and in an almost sitting position. She flipped through the channels on the small TV with irritation. She looked up as he entered, almost dropping the remote, and looked away quickly.
"You didn't need to come." Her voice was hoarse, barely audible. She turned off the TV, and looked out the window, her arms crossed.
"Yes I did." He said, defiantly. He walked around the bed, blocking her view of the window. She obstinately flipped the TV back on, ignoring him. He clenched his fist, anger welling up inside him. "What the HELL were you doing, Rinoa? Look at me, DAMN IT!" She looked up, started by the force of his words. He approached her, cautiously, taking her bandaged hand. "I can't bear to think that you did this to yourself. I can't understand how you could do this." He looked into her eyes, the pain burned beneath the surface of her eyes like the night of the Festival.
"I wanted to… end it all… I needed to… It's the only way out..." She pulled her hand away and slammed it against the nightstand, knocking over an untouched glass of water. Squall deftly caught it. The bandage began to darken with fresh blood. He took her hand and held it firmly, as she tried to pull away from him.
"Stop it." He growled and began unwrapping the bandage. He cleaned up the deep gashes in her palm, whispered a cura spell, and re-wrapped it. "How did this happen?" He asked mildly.
"Grats. I got attacked in the training center. Angelo stopped them." As if on cue, Selphie came to the door, with Angelo at her side. Selphie's hand went to her mouth in horror. Angelo went to his master, whining softly.
"Angelo came to my room last night," Selphie looked down at her feet "I'm just bringing him back." Guilt painted her face. "Rinoa, I'm so sorry for everything that I said to you a few weeks back." She looked up at her friend, a tear trickling down her face. "I want my friend back." Selphie whimpered. Rinoa looked down at Angelo and rested her hand on his head, uttering no reply or word of thanks. She simply tilted her head back against he pillows and closed her eyes. Her head hurt. Selphie left without a word, but Squall lingered. She could feel his presence burning like a flame. He pulled his chair up to the bed and sat down, watching her.
"Please leave, Squall." She whispered, not bothering to open her eyes. He didn't move. She opened her eyes. "I want to be alone! Leave me, please!"
"No."
She sighed and left it at that.
