*~* Chapter 2 *~*
Squall awoke in a cold sweat. He sat up
and looked around trying to orient himself. He'd gone home to shower and call
Xu to tell her he needed the next couple of days off. Xu didn't argue, he'd
been working almost nonstop. He'd lain down, just for a while to try and ease
his headache. It had been building since last night.
He got up, nearly stepping into a pile of
fur, reminding him that Angelo had come up with him. The doctors weren't too
thrilled with the dog being in the Medical Center for too long. Squall had
decided to keep him at his place, there was a lot more room, and Angelo could
go out onto the balcony. He steered around the dog and went to the shower. His
mind kept going back to his dream. It was hazy, and he could barely recall it,
but it lingered on the edge of his thoughts, teasing him.
He scrubbed at his hair, trying to
remember. It was about Rinoa. It was as if he'd been inside her head. He stopped Ellone? He thought. Was
it Ellone's doing? He shook his head and let the water wash over him. He
quickly finished his shower and dressed. He wondered how long he'd been gone
from the Medical Center. It had taken quite a bit of urging from the nurses to
get him to leave.
He arrived at the Medical Center shortly,
and went straight to Rinoa's room. Irvine was there, watching TV with her. She
almost looked happy, he had but a moment to watch her before she noticed. She
looked soberly down at her hands. Irvine quickly got up, noticing the exchange.
Squall left the room and Irvine rushed out with after him, closing the door.
"Squall, stop, please." Squall listened, reluctantly. "I saw
what happened back there. I know how hard it must be for you, but she really
does need you, despite her actions."
"Why does she hate me?" Squall
asked, painfully. Irvine simply shook his head.
"She doesn't. I know it's hard to
believe, but she doesn't. She hates herself, for being a Sorceress."
Squall knew it made sense. He didn't want it to, but it did. It just took
Irvine to say it for him to accept it. She had always worried about it, her
Sorceress's powers. "She's afraid of hurting us, especially you."
Squall nodded his head and leaned against the wall. He should have known. She'd
told him countless times how she feared her powers. The last time she brought
it up was about two months earlier, not long before the Festival.
~begin*flashback~
It was late, but Squall was restless. The
last of the students were finding their way to the barracks before curfew, a
few of them staring at him as he walked by. Much to his relief, none approached
him. He'd gotten better at dealing with the students, but he still didn't enjoy
it. It was one of the many aspects of his position as Commander that he didn't
like. But since the perks often out weighed the downfalls, he didn't complain.
He found himself heading towards Rinoa's
room. He hadn't seen her all day, usually she found him. He stopped at her
door, knowing she was probably asleep. Angelo howled from inside, long and
painfully. Squall grabbed at the door, only to find it locked. His heart
thundered as he searched his pockets, finding his master key. He could hear
Angelo whining as he fumbled with the lock. He finally got the door open, and
was greeted by a worried Angelo. Rinoa was in her bed, moaning and writhing in
a fitful sleep. She clenched the sheets and screamed. He went to her.
"Rinoa, wake up." He sat down on
the bed, pulled her close, holding her still. She struggled against him, unable
to wake. "shhhh, come on, it's alright." She awoke all at once, with
a gasp, and looked around, wide-eyed. Her breathing was slightly labored. She
looked up a Squall, tears filing her eyes, and buried her face in his chest.
Her body was wracked with sobs, Angelo whined and rested his head on her bed. Squall
stroked her hair, and held her tight. She eventually recovered her composure
and pulled herself out of his grasp. She got up and went to the window, where
the moonlight spilt into the room. She looked translucent, untouchable, in the
moonlight.
"Up until now, I've known exactly
what I needed to do. No doubts, no regrets." She said, turning to face
him, leaning on the windowsill. She smiled sadly. "Now there's you."
She paused.
"I would know what to do,
except for you." He replied. "You've turned my world upside down,
challenging every thing I know."
"The difference is that you're not
selfish, like me." She turned away from him again. "You were faced
with the decision to save me or save the world. You managed both. I'm faced
with the decision, leave the ones I love, or destroy everything I love."
"No, no. Rinoa, please don't think
that way." He said, standing.
"I'm a Sorceress! The one you are
destined to protect the world from. I shouldn't be here, with you. I should be locked
up, watched, studied, where I can be no harm to anyone. But I'm so selfish that
I stay here, endangering everyone around me." She hung her head; she
looked beaten, as if she'd lost everything.
"But the bracelet... you always wear
the Odine Bracelet." She looked at him, her eyes burning holes though to
his soul.
"Who knows if the thing even really
works? And if it does, why didn't' they just use it on Adel instead of sending
her into space?" She shook here head. "No... the bracelet is only a
temporary solution... What if my powers manifest in some evil way? What if I'm
possessed again?" She whispered. "Will you follow through with your
duty, as the SeeD commander?" She got no answer, which was what she
feared. "Please, I want it to be you, you remember, right? I want you to
be the one to..." They looked at each other across the moon lit room.
Rinoa glowing in the moonlight, her nightgown fluttering softly in the breeze,
Squall, immersed in the shadows, the icy blue of his eyes glinting in the dim
light.
"I won't let it come to that. There
will be another way." It was the same reply he always gave her.
"But what if it does?! You've never
answered me that! What if you can't save me? ! What then?"
"I will protect you... no matter
what." He finally answered. "I will always be your knight."
"And that scares me almost more than
my powers do." She whispered.
~end
flashback~
"So what do I do?" He asked
Irvine, shaking himself out of the painful memory. Irvine shrugged.
"I'm out of answers, my friend. Just keep
in mind that she still loves you. I'm sure you'll figure something out."
Irvine grinned and tilted his hat. "You always do." His eyes had been
following a young nurse heading down the hall. "Good luck!" He waved,
and chased after the unescorted girl. Squall watched his friend, never quite
understanding how he could switch from Mr.Nice-and-sensitive to womanizing pig
so seamlessly.
Squall stood at Rinoa's door, his head
bowed. He had to see her, yet he couldn't. He was torn with indecision. He had
blamed himself for everything. He blamed himself for her inheriting Edea's
powers. He should have protected her, kept her far from battle. He blamed
himself for not being able to stop her when she went out into space. He blamed
himself for not being able keep her fears at bay. He blamed himself when she
told him she didn't love him. He should have been more attentive, sensitive. He
should have treated her better. He ran his own flaws through his mind over and
over again. He should have seen her wasting away, but he was too wrapped up in
himself, his own self-pity. He should have been the one to rescue her, no, he
should have kept her safe, and happy, and none of this would have happened. Why
does everyone think I'm some kind of hero?
His thoughts were interrupted by the
approach of footsteps. Quistis he thought, her footsteps were always so
full of purpose. He didn't look up. She stopped a few feet from him, and
watched him, her arms crossed. "You don't really believe this whole
charade, do you?" She demanded. Charade? What does she mean by that?
He looked at her. Quistis wore her glasses and SeeD uniform, she still seemed
like his instructor. "She's got you wrapped around her little finger. She
and Irvine." He narrowed his eyes.
"What are you getting at, Quistis?"
"Don't you think it's a bit odd that
he just happed to have one of the few keys to that door in the Training Center,
and just so happened to use it that night?" He didn't reply. "You let
your obsession with her cloud your judgment. She's using you, Squall." He
stopped her with an icy gaze.
"You've become bitter, Quistis."
She scowled, and he entered Rinoa's room, leaving Quistis to seethe in the
hall.
~begin*flashback~
The day after the Garden Festival, Squall
was nowhere to be seen, and neither was Rinoa. A rumor that they'd eloped began
to circulate through the student body. Quistis and Xu had joked about the
romantic rumor, and decided to let them reappear on their own accord. Much to
their surprise, Squall had shown up to work the next day, apologizing for his
absence, but didn't give a reason. He was solemn, quiet, unusually so, even for
him. Quistis paid his mood no mind, figuring he his had his reasons and went to
work as usual. She knew something was wrong when she ran into Rinoa while she
walked Angelo. She was wearing an over sized sweatshirt, rumpled jeans and
sunglasses, though it wasn't a particularly bright day.
"Rinoa, what happened to you and
Squall yesterday?" Rinoa didn't answer, just kept walking, determinedly.
"Rinoa," Quistis was concerned now, "what happened? Did you have
a fight?"
"Why do you care, Quistis?"
Rinoa asked, her voice tired.
"Well, the both of you are my
friends. I know that Squall isn't happy, and neither are you, apparently. I
don't like to see my friends upset."
"I'm not upset."
"Then why won't you stop and look at
me?" Rinoa stopped and spun around to face her.
"Why do you have to be so damned
nosey?! You want to know what happened? Hmmm?" Rinoa snarled. "I told
Squall the truth."
"The truth...?" Quistis
stammered, stunned at Rinoa's sudden out burst.
"Yes," She cooed. "I told
him that I don't love him. I'm sick of pretending to like you people."
Quistis gasped, and recoiled from her friend. Rinoa turned away coldly and
continued on her way.
Squall had reverted back to his former
withdrawn self. He quietly and determinedly went about his business. All who
knew him could see his pain, yet couldn't do anything to help him. He would
talk to no one outside of getting his job done. Irvine was the only one he'd
allow to even spend time with him. The two young men would play Triple Triad,
or go to the training center. Irvine told no one what went on between them,
saying that Squall just needed time to think.
Rinoa had all but disappeared. Even Selphie
refused to talk to her after finding out what she'd said to Quistis. She'd
appear at the Cafeteria once in a while with Angelo. Most of the students had
figured out what had happened, and the cafeteria would become silent. If Squall
was there, she'd simply turn and leave. The only place that she'd frequent was
the library. She'd take a pile of books and disappear for days at a time. She
was often seen walking Angelo at night, a little after curfew, and no one would
disturb her. If anyone did approach her, she was cold, and short-tempered.
She'd been ordered to the Medical center, and they checked her for Sorcery
activity, but her abilities continued to lay dormant. There was nothing to
blame for her attitude change, except for Rinoa herself.
~end*flashback~
It had pained Quistis to see Squall's
smile gone. It had been such a miracle when he finally did smile, that she
hated to think that Rinoa had stolen it away forever. She hated Rinoa for what
she'd done to her childhood friend. None of them had suspected Rinoa to be
capable of such viciousness. She walked down the hall to Rinoa's room. She
didn't know exactly why she was going there, but she was determined that it
held some kind of evidence against the deceiving little bitch. She was going to
expose Rinoa for what she really was. She stood at the door, and pulled out her
keys. She swung open the door, knowing what to expect. She'd visited Rinoa here
often.
The room looked nothing like it had
before. The cheerful tidiness was replaced by gloomy mess of clothes, papers,
books and various other items piled and tossed about. Quistis wrinkled her nose
and picked her way through the mess and to open the window. The curtains were
shut tightly, and she had to struggle to get the window open. The room needed
to be aired out. It smelled stale and of dust and dog. Quistis gazed around the
room. Where to start, she wondered. She began piling the clothes into a
basket.
* * * *
Rinoa awoke with a fit of coughs. She
doubled over in pain. Squall carefully rubbed her back, and pulled her limp
hair from her face. She blinked, her eyes watering, and looked up at him. He
gave her painkillers and a glass of water. She obediently took them, and let
him help her to lay back.
"You're still here." It was more a statement than a question.
"Why can't you just leave me alone?" Squall didn't reply. His nerves
were raw, tired of dealing with so many emotions that were still foreign to
him. She watched him for a moment, and closed her eyes. She was too tired to
argue, too tired to pretend. Her resolve was weakening, and she began to
question herself and the secrete battle she waged. She wanted to go home, see
her friends and her father. She wanted to be a princess again, not a sorceress.
Back then, everything was so clear-cut. She knew what she was fighting for, she
could tell right from wrong, good from evil. She'd had purpose, and confidence.
It felt like a lifetime ago. She missed her friends from the resistance dearly.
What would they think if they saw me now? She wondered sadly. They
would never understand. She opened her eyes to peak at Squall. He was
looking through some paperwork, a pencil stuck behind his ear. He was her
purpose, her reason for fighting the invisible battle. For you, she
thought, only for you...